Raising Daughters

Forgiveness is an internal process that sets you free from negative feelings & thoughts, opening you up for love and happiness. Show Notes: BENEFITs of practicing forgiveness Research has shown that forgiveness is linked to … The Hardest Gift to Give Is Forgiveness Read More »

Kids want to be as noticed, important, heard, irreplaceable, & loved as their parent’s phone & TV Show notes:  Kids feel unloved around distracted parents Kids feel unimportant, not cared about, and unloved when they … Why Your Daughter Wants To Be a Phone or TV Set Read More »

Your daughter might want to be a phone or a TV set because that’s all you’re paying attention to. It’s time for that to end. Stop being a distracted parent and be more present! Show Notes:·        Kids feel unimportant, not cared about, and unloved when they are around distracted parents.·        Dr. Jordan relates why your daughter might want to be a TV set:§ They would have their family all around them warm and cozy and happy. They would take them seriously when they talk and really listen to them. They would be the center of attention and people would listen to them without interrupting. Their family would see them as interesting, funny, wise, knowledgeable, important, and irreplaceable. The family would immediately notice if they’re upset and not their best and care for them to get me back up and running. They want to be the person who brings the family together and makes everyone happy.·        Here’s why your daughter might want to be a phone:§ Phones are always with parents, always noticed, and parents would take them everywhere; prefer to look at me vs play with siblings or talk to their friends; always checking up on me to be sure I am happy and charged up; they’d never leave home without me much less leave me alone; they would brag to their friends about all the things I can do; I’d be last thing they check on or think about each night and first thing they check on each morning; they’d always tell me they couldn’t live without me or don’t know how they ever lived without me; they’d love me more and more each year as I get more and more interesting and complicated.·        To avoid your daughter wanting to become your TV or phone, here are some suggestions to help girls feel more loved:§ The whole family can agree to turn off devices when they eat, play games, travel in the car and be fully present with each other.§ Remember to do the little things: tuck ins each night, notice me without having to ask or create drama, ask my opinion, value what I have to say and who I am, value all parts of me just like the different channels; technology changes over time and so will I, so embrace all of my changes, spend uninterrupted time with me.§ Help me feel loved, noticed, special, understood, important, and valued.Contact Dr. Jordan: www.drtimjordan.comTo create more closeness around the dinner table or during car rides, check out Dr. Jordan’s Dinner Dialogue Cards for questions to gain deeper insight into kids and for them to learn more about you.

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The perception of body image we have today was not developed overnight nor caused by our longer exposure to the digital word. Instead, it involved a long history of culture shifts, advertising approaches, and fashion trends to get us where we are now.
Girl’s dissatisfaction with their bodies didn’t start with Instagram and social media; the real culprit was bathroom mirrors and home scales.
Just like social media doesn’t start friendship drama but only amplifies it, the use of Instagram and other social media didn’t create girl’s body dissatisfaction but has escalated it.
The history of fat in our country: beginning in the 1800s, Dr. Jordan discusses the evolution in our thinking about women’s weight and body ideals.
Body dissatisfaction began long ago, long before TV & smart phones & social media: bathroom mirrors and scales, store bought clothes, HS, advertising, the fashion industry & changing styles, increased investment in products, medical data about the harmful effects of being overweight, the proliferation of dieting & dieting products, the fitness craze, acceptance of women’s sexuality and the subsequent need to be sexually attractive, the shifting cultural standards for how women were supposed to look, how they should judge themselves and others, and how they should eat; these have all created a moving target of standards, ideals, and expectations. Girls also have to maneuver through current challenges of exhibitionism, perfectionism, lookism, and consumerism.
Throughout history, girls have had to grapple with the influence of new information coming from movies, TV, magazines, music videos, YouTube, and social media.
Parents need to be sensitive about what they say about their bodies and other’s bodies, especially moms, as girls are constantly listening and watching. Research shows that parents who model body-positive behaviors, including a relaxed attitude about healthy eating and enjoyment of physical activity, are more likely to raise body-positive kids.
It is also protective to watch media like TV shows, movies, and social media content with your daughters and then have discussions to help educate girls to be more media and image savvy.
Contact Dr. Jordan: www.drtimjordan.com and [email protected]
For more information about raising daughters to who are healthy, image savvy and happy, read Dr. Jordan’s book, Sleeping Beauties, Awakened Women: Guiding the Transformation of Adolescent Girl.

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Show Notes: A parent’s job is to offer encouragement & resources to support their daughters in finding their intrinsic motivation, passions, and purpose Stories of how people found their motivation & passions Children find their … How to support kids to find their intrinsic motivation, passions, and purpose Read More »

How important is it to support our kids' passions and motivations? Today, we’re talking about motivation, and how we can support our kids' passions and help them find their own internal intrinsic motivation for doing things they love, even when our children's interests are different from our own. 
SHOW NOTES:    

It is the parents’ job is to offer encouragement and resources to support their daughters to find their intrinsic motivation and passions.·        Children find their passions and the motivation to pursue them in many different ways.·        Dr. Jordan tells numerous fascinating stories about eminent people and how they found their purpose, calling, and motivation.·        Most kids need to experience a range of experiences before they find their “thing.”·        Some kids find their motivation by overcoming adversity.·        Kids need someone in their corner who can help them become aware of their intrinsic motivation, who value their interests and passions, and who encourages them to go for it. Contact Dr. Jordan at www.drtimjordan.com or [email protected]. For more information about how to support kids in finding their passions and calling, read Dr. Jordan’s book, SHE LEADS: A Practical Guide for Raising Girls Who Advocate, Influence, and Lead.

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Show notes Parents need to support kids in finding their own intrinsic motivation in all that they do. Intrinsic vs external motivation A better question is: How can I support my daughter’s intrinsic motivation? How … If you want to know how to motivate your daughter, you’re asking the wrong question Read More »

As parents, we naturally want the best for our daughters. But sometimes, the ways we motivate them can be stifling. Instead of motivating them, we end up limiting them. If you want to know how to motivate your daughter, then perhaps it is time we reflect back on ourselves and realize that maybe we are asking the wrong question. Dr. Tim Jordan enlightens us in this episode.
A better question is: How can I support my daughter’s intrinsic motivation? How can I help her discover her own internal motivation?
In many ways, the answer is to get out of her way.
Ask kids why they want the grades they desire, and why they love the activities they are into. When they share why they love what they are doing, mirror it back to help them internalize their intrinsic good feelings for their passions.
Bobbi Brown story: taken from, Wherever You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be by Frank Bruni
Mia Hamm’s story from The Right Words at the Right Time, by Marlo Thomas
Many kids do not find motivation with schoolwork/education until after HS or college when they can choose what they study & pursue, especially if they are strongminded, independent, and with an entrepreneurial spirit. Some kids will NOT be into school the way you want, no matter what parents do.
Value passion where you find it, and trust that the lessons they learn from such pursuits will be transferrable to other endeavors.
The stories of Jane Goodall and the Wright brothers illustrate the importance of encouraging and supporting your children’s dreams.
Contact Dr. Jordan at www.drtimjordan.com or [email protected]
For more information about how to support kids in finding their passions and calling, read Dr. Jordan’s book, She Leads: A Practical Guide for Raising Girls Who Advocate, Influence, and Lead.

Thank you for listening to my podcast.  Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!

Show Notes: Why 20-somethings get so stressed & anxious A lot of 20-somethings view 20s as a time for fun, but that is faulty thinking. 80% of life’s most defining moments take place by 35, … The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly About Being in your Twenties Read More »

Many individuals in their twenties perceive this period as a time for enjoyment, but this perspective is flawed. Meg Jay joins Dr. Tim Jordan to discuss the concept of identity capital and explores how those in their twenties can gain awareness of their self-discoveries during this phase of life. SHOW NOTES:·        A lot of 20-somethings view 20s as a time for fun, but that is faulty thinking. 80% of life’s most defining moments take place by 35, earning power is decided in your first 10 years. Brain and personality change more during 20’s than at any other time before or after.·        The 20s is a time of lots of choices and greater freedom, but 20-somethings may experience this as a two-edged sword as it creates confusion and anxiety and uncertainty.·        Meg Jay describes what identity capital is and how 20-somethings can become aware of what they’ve learned about themselves up till now. Identity capital is personal assets, what we have to show for how we have spent our time, investments we make in ourselves, aptitudes, interests, passions, how we present ourselves, solve problems, cope with life’s ups and downs, hobbies, life experiences; how you resolved your identity crisis; it’s valuable to assess what your past life experiences say about you and your future.·        We discussed the potential cost of being underemployed and being too focused on not wanting to settle.·        Dating and relationships was also discussed: the choice of who you marry is more important for long term happiness than what college you go to; age 30 deadline, angst if still unmarried and feel behind and pressured to find someone; the importance of our self-perceived mate value: people spend more time planning a wedding than they do planning a relationship; should spend time and money on retreats, therapy, personal growth.·        We discussed the critical shift from being wanted to wanting = what do you want and deserve?·        The biologic clock is real as far as having children. You can use that urgency to help 20-somethings plan their futures instead of being anxious and stressed.·        What is the effect of the frontal lobe not fully wired until sometime between 20-30? Opportunity for new connections that won’t happen again in our lives; never be so quick to learn new things; 20 somethings who use their brain by engaging in good jobs and real relationships are learning the language of adulthood right when brain primed to learn it.·        20-somethings can make a rough plan for your life over the next 10 years: love, work, education, money, travel, friends, family, health, habits, purpose. 

Contact Meg Jay: The Defining Decade: Why 20-somethings Matter 
Contact Dr. Jordan: www.drtimjordan.com 
Another great read for your young adults is Dr. Jordan’s book, Letters from my Grandfather: Timeless Wisdom For a Life Worth Living. 

Thank you for listening to my podcast.  Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!