Raising Daughters

3 high school girls candidly discuss the effects of not having a dad present in their lives Show Notes: Effects of absent dads at different ages  3 high school girls candidly discussing the effects of … 005: Absent Dads Read More »

Show Notes: Dr. Jordan’s 10 is a 10 is a 10 principal helps kids share their feelings in order to be understood & to relate to the stories & emotions of parents and peers Girls … A 10 is a 10 is a 10: Understanding Girl’s Emotional Roller Coaster Read More »

It’s important to listen to our daughters, especially their emotions. Today, Dr. Tim Jordan looks into a girl’s emotional life and shares stories from his retreats and camps of the different kinds of losses girls experience. SHOW NOTES:·        Girls need safe spaces to express all of their feelings, especially during the roller coaster of emotions during the teen years·        Dr. Jordan shares stories from his retreats and camps of the different kinds of losses girls experience·        A 10 is a 10 is a 10 principal: a loss is a loss, the experience and details may differ, but the emotions don’t feel any less real = a 10 is a 10 is a 10, we can relate to each other even if our stories aren’t the same·        A loss of a pet can create similar feelings to other seemingly more important losses; a pet is always there for you, can share stories and fears, and they listen without judgment; pets become a safe haven for girls·        When kids come to you with their feelings, take them seriously, listen, mirror, get in their shoes and see from their point of view, affirm feelings, ask if they want feedback, help them see it in a different perspective, encourage them to journal, draw, etc. to express and make sense of emotions and loss; never belittle, minimize, judge them as being dramatic or too sensitive·        Girls at camp realize they are not the only ones who have experienced what they have, they are not alone or crazy, peers can relate even if their stories are different·        A 10 is a 10 is a 10; remember this principle so kids feel safe to share with you. Contact Dr. Jordan: www.drtimjordan.comEmail feedback to [email protected] If you would like more information on understanding and dealing with your daughter’s emotional life, check out Dr. Jordan’s online course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need. 

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On a mission to help parents build a happier, healthier, more heartful world one kid at a time, Christy Keating joins us to dive into the topic of consent. As a Certified Parent Coach and Positive Discipline Educator, she shares insights on incorporating safety lessons into family conversations, implementing protective measures at home, and guiding children and teenagers in understanding the concept of consent—both in giving and receiving. Tune in to gain valuable perspectives from Christy on fostering a safer and more respectful environment within your family. SHOW NOTES:·        Consent is not a one time talk at age 16. Most sex education should be relationship education starting in the preschool years. This includes teaching about respect, setting and respecting boundaries, and advocating for yourself.·        Building solid relationships at home becomes the template for all future relationships and it allows kids to develop self-confidence and a belief that they deserve to take care of themselves.·        Girls need to learn the difference between being assertive vs aggressive. This is best done with role playing at home.·        We discuss the importance of teaching kids how to access and trust their intuition in order to take care of themselves. We also discuss how alcohol and drugs blunts your internal alarm system.·        Christy discusses some of the legal aspects of consent that parents and kids should know.·        We discussed how parents can handle and prevent sexting.·        Discussions about boundaries and consent should be a continuous process throughout childhood. Don’t wait until they are ready to go off to college! Contact Christy Keating: https://www.theheartfulparent.com/consentListeners to this podcast are eligible for 2 free handouts about teaching kids about consent. Contact Dr. Jordan: www.drtimjordan.com

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Who are doing your child’s homework – your children or you? Parents become too involved in their children’s homework, robbing them of the chance to develop self-responsibility and self-motivation
Start of the school year is the perfect time to establish agreements about schoolwork and homeworkBegin by discussing what intentions she has for this school year, i.e. let her tell you what she wants to accomplish.
Learning: ask questions about what she enjoys, grades she desires, and especially why; ask her what her plan is to accomplish these goals; what did she learn last year during covid about how to study and stay on track?
Friendships: What does she want as far as her social life? deepen current friends? attract better ones? Have friends in different groups? What is her plan to achieve this?
Activities: why does she love the ones she does? Willing to try new ones?
Personal growth: Are there any ways she’d like to get out of her comfort zone and stretch herself? Take more risks? Try new things? Advocate more for herself? Not compare herself so much? Raise her hand in class more often? Show up as real self vs façade?
Autonomy: Ask why they want whatever they decide; they need more autonomy to develop become more self-motivation and self-responsibility
Autonomy = engagement = perseverance = fulfillment = they own results so it’s their touchdown dance
She may falter at 1st b/c not want to take responsibility and used to parents jumping in to fix and rescue; there may be a learning curve so be patient; if she feels stuck or falters, ask her, “What will you do?”
The time to turn over responsibility for their schoolwork is now! The costs of faltering are much lower the younger they are. Don’t wait until you drop them off at college to let go. Contact Dr. Jordan: www.drtimjordan.comFor comprehensive information about your daughter’s social and emotional life, check out Dr. Jordan’s online parenting course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need

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Parents become too involved in their children’s schoolwork, robbing them of the chance to develop self-responsibility and self-motivation Show Notes: The start of the school year is the perfect time to establish agreements about schoolwork … Stop Micromanaging Your Child’s Homework! Read More »

Be prepared to be surprised as 3 young women candidly describe their thoughts & feelings as they begin their 1st year of college Show Notes: 3 young women who are about to begin college open … A peek into your your daughter’s emotions as she starts college Read More »

Going to college is certainly an overwhelming and arduous undertaking – especially for young girls. If they are to excel not just in their studies but also in their personal growth, they need the right support and guidance in one of the biggest touchpoints of their lives.
3 young women who are about to begin college open up about the following issues:

• Describe the mixed emotions you are going thru as you anticipate leaving for college.
• Share your biggest fears about making friends, handling being away from home, ability to handle your school work, missing your support network, and picking their major and career path.
• What are you most excited about?
• Are you open to getting out of your comfort zone and redefining yourself? What might that look like?
• When did you 1st start feeling pressure about college & picking major? From whom?
• What boundaries do you need to set with parents and boyfriends, especially about staying in touch?
• What self-care habits will you be sure to incorporate into your schedule? quiet space, exercise, nature, express feelings.
• 
  

Contact Dr. Jordan: www.drtimjordan.com
If you want more information about your child’s emotional life, check out Dr. Jordan’s online course: Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they needAlso have your daughter check out Dr. Jordan’s book written for young adults to help them figure out their calling: Letters from My Grandfather: Timeless Wisdom for a Life Worth Living

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Mental health issues experienced by Olympic athletes offer a glimpse into the stress & pressures our children face from youth sports. Show Notes: Weight in Gold HBO sports documentary Mental health issues for Olympic athletes … Is your daughter’s sport’s experience causing mental health issues? You may be surprised Read More »

HBO’s sports documentary, "Weight in Gold," delves into the hidden mental health challenges of athletes. In this episode, we discuss the impact of youth sports, overuse injuries, and the critical role parents play. Dr. Tim Jordan shares insights on fostering balance and supporting children's mental health, offering a compelling exploration of the unseen struggles in the pursuit of success. Join us as we navigate the intricate terrain of youth sports to empower both athletes and their families. SHOW NOTES:  “Weight in Gold,” an HBO sports documentary. It delves into the debilitating depression, anxiety, suicidal ideations, and other mental health crises that can plague these athletes on their quests for gold, regardless of their level of acclaim. Intense training, hours, singular focus to the exclusion of other things like friendships, family time & vacations; fear of taking even 1 day off. I’m aware of the benefits of kids playing youth sports: teamwork, learning a skill, exercise for your body, win & lose, sportsmanship, see body for its function vs just appearance, make friends with similar interest, creates a tribe Overuse injuries have been rising: Sports specialization and not following the youth sport participation recommendations may increase the chance of overuse injuries; Female athletes more frequently specialize in a sport at earlier ages and sustain more injuries than males Whole life structured around their sport; when quit b/c of injury or graduate HS, not know how to structure their days on their own Must grieve this as a loss, a process, take time to journal what they learned about self, gained, life lessons they want to take with them, things they want to leave behind Knew their place by their ranking, their numbers and times, accolades from coaches and parents, now not sure how they are doing, sense of confidence and standing must come from withinDo things for YOUR reasons, what do you want and WHY? Body image: see selves as fat when really muscular; compare their muscular legs to toothpick friends; distorted body image. Stress from parents and coaches and recruiters and college prospects: MS & HS girls want to quit b/c they are burned out but afraid of disappointing parents, coaches, teammates. Value achievement over character; adds pressure, anxiety about measuring up and winning and pleasing adults, depression if fail. What can parents do? Balance: sports with music, arts, jobs, family time, alone down time, time to follow other interests Make sure kids are pursuing sport b/c of their reasons vs pleasing us or not disappointing us, “Why do you love soccer? Painting? Listen to them if express burnout, be heard and understood, let them choose activities and levels Need for breaks, family vacations, normal camps Choose coaches with good intentions Refuse to get caught up in the current rat race of college scholarship or bust, being the best, doing same sport year-round, focus on winning and being on the best club teams Parents need to set the tone, family intentions (TJ & hockey), OK to say no, derive benefits w/o the costs Be aware of your child’s mental health, look past medals to how they are feeling & coping (like grades after divorce) Have safe place/person to talk about their feelings, worries, fears; just talking about it is therapeutic and healing, they are not alone Contact Dr. Jordan: www.drtimjordan.com If you want more information about your child’s emotional life, check out Dr. Jordan’s online course: Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need 

Thank you for listening to my podcast.  Please join our community on our social media platforms and share with yours to help us grow!