Dear Black Gay Men Podcast

Reacting to RACEPLAY & White People’s Trauma Olympics feat. Nico’s Aesthetics


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Jai the Gentleman dives deep into some challenging and necessary conversations, navigating the complexities of race, sexuality, and community with his trademark blend of honesty and fire. The episode, titled “White People S**t,” centers on the realities faced by Black gay men today.

The Comfort Conundrum

The show kicks off with a provocative question: Would you rather be the lone gay person in an all-Black hetero space (like a family Thanksgiving) or the lone Black face in an all-queer white space? The chat was split, leading to a crucial discussion about navigating predominantly straight Black environments versus predominately white queer ones. Jai shares how getting older gave him the confidence to stop shrinking and moving through life as a “one life gay” man—the same everywhere he goes.

Conversion and Kink: The Race Play Debacle

Jai then shifts to reacting to a reel featuring a white gay man who claims, “Jesus is all the man I need” and “No, I will not date a boy,” framing it as a modernized version of conversion ideology. He connects this to the problematic idea that Black people have historically been told they are “not good enough” unless they change.

The main story tackles the shocking case of “Big C,” a creator who built an OnlyFans empire on degrading Black and brown people through race play and racial slurs. Jai critiques insecure “doms” who confuse providing things with earning the right to lead, a flaw that leads to abuses of power, both in sexual scenes and real life.

Catch the full episode for more on these essential discussions, World AIDS Day observations, and a fun list of things the gays do that straights “just can’t handle”.

Dear Black Gay Men’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.



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Dear Black Gay Men PodcastBy Jai The Gentleman

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