Real Recovery Talk

Ben's cousin Joel H. is here today to talk with Tom and Ben about his story of addiction, what he went through, getting sober, and staying sober. Joel is four years older than Ben and was super influential on Ben when they were growing up. Ben also shares how important it was for him to see Joel go through the process.

Ben was born with one hand, but that didn't deter him from playing all of the sports especially karate. His mom also encouraged him to be social and surrounded him with friends. Like many of us, Joel drank as a teen. His addiction issues didn't really flare up until he was injured and tried oxycontin. We talk about this and more in this encouraging and entertaining episode.

Show Notes:

• [03:55] Ben shares how Joel got him to work out by punishing him on heavy weights. He was a huge influence to him.
• [05:00] Ben also took Joel to his first AA meeting.
• [06:07] Joel was born with one hand. He was an only child, but his mom always made sure he had friends around and got to try all of the sports. Karate was his favorite.
• [07:04] His parents drank on weekends. That didn't seem to have a huge effect on his addiction.
• [08:16] When he was nearing the end of his teen years, several events took place that he didn't have the coping mechanisms to deal with. He went through a breakup. His grandfather died, and his parents also got divorced.
• [08:50] He also had two groups of friends. The church group that was into sports and the pot smoking surfer group.
• [09:06] He started spending more time with the second group, because he liked the effects of alcohol and it helped him cope with his current losses.
• [09:24] He was still responsible. He went to school, worked, and got married.
• [10:14] When he was 28 years old, he had an accident in the weight room. He began taking Oxycontin for the pain and ended up spending his money on it for the next two years.
• [11:39] He got to a point where he overdosed.
• [12:03] He divorced and got into a new relationship. His pain began again, and he got legitimate pain meds. This led to addiction and depression.
• [13:01] Joel got into trouble for the first time in his life. Joel shares a story where he ended up being dubbed the one handed bandit. He also broke into a courthouse building.
• [14:36] He ended up turning himself in and losing his home and relationships.
• [15:21] Ben and some friends knew it was time to get him into treatment.
• [16:06] Joel started to go to meetings, get a sponsor, and work the steps.
• [20:03] Part of the process of re-evaluating your life is taking an inventory of the way you were behaving and the way you would like to behave.
• [21:08] It's more fun being sober and not waking up with a hangover. The biggest gift of recovery is peace of mind.
• [23:01] At treatment, Joel felt like he wasn't alone. He was around people with a similar story, and the counselors were great.
• [25:05] Tom found out that his false beliefs were at the center of his addiction.
• [26:16] Joel couldn't imagine dealing with his pain without using. In meetings, he learned that this was possible.
• [29:22] Praying started helping Joel to get his confidence back. He surrounded himself with winners.
• [34:14] Fitness really helps with sobriety and having goals and something to shoot for. Joel inspires other people with his one handed bench presses.
• [37:13] Ben shares how hiking and speed walking can alleviate depression and anxiety.
• [40:37] A lot of common sense stuff can be applied to treatment. Going for walks or to the gym really helps.
• [42:15] Part of treatment is practical application of the tools.
• [44:06] Joel was in a sober living environment for almost two years. That attests to his willingness to do the work.
• [46:27] The recent loss of Joel's mom made him feel helpless. His treatment tools and support group enabled him to cope with the loss that would have normally sent him back into addiction.
• [52:49] Joel now works in treatment, and it's great for his relationship with Ben.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
• AA
• Fern House
• Dave Ramsey

A lot of people make an effort to get clean and sober for the wrong reasons. They are doing it for a family member or a loved one. To have success, the addict needs to be committed and want to do it for themselves. In today's episode, Tom talks to Dakota. Dakota is someone who Tom has known for the past year. They talk about how he ended up addicted and how he ended up in South Florida.

Dakota openly shares his story and how he got introduced to weed when he was 10. It didn't take long before he moved on to other things and ended up with a full blown problem. Tom and Dakota talk about some of the parallels of addicts and having problems with their home life. Dakota also shares his unsuccessful attempts to get sober and how things didn't click until he was all in and truly wanted to work the steps.

Show Notes:

• [03:56] Dakota was born in Maine and moved to Phoenix when he was 4. His father was an alcoholic. His mom worked all the time.
• [04:59] He tried weed when he was 10 and instantly fell in love with it. Then he began drinking. He then moved on to other drugs.
• [06:35] The drugs gave him a feeling of acceptance. His relationship with his dad affected his self-esteem. He was always seeking validation.
• [10:17] Being a drug dealer made Dakota feel needed.
• [11:16] The addictive mentality puts us in positions that we wouldn't normally be in.
• [12:22] Things escalated and Dakota began fighting and ended up in one alternative school after another. Things went downhill when he tried Oxy.
• [14:34] He got clean for about four months for a girl he was dating. He then began doing Oxy behind her back. They broke up after a year.
• [16:02] Dakota was sick and on withdrawals and tried heroin. He was just going to do it one time. The Oxy didn't compare to the heroin.
• [17:34] After a year, he decided to go to rehab. He just went to detox and then immediately relapsed.
• [19:18] He then overdosed and was really an addict. He lost friends, lived on the street, and went in and out of programs.
• [22:04] After another overdose, someone in rehab told him about rehab in South Florida. He got 50 days clean and then started drinking again.
• [24:43] After using and going in and out of detox or rehab, he finally decided to call Rock Recovery.
• [25:31] He had a moment of clarity and putting the needle in his arm filled him with shame and made him feel miserable.
• [27:26] You can't just get clean for other people. You have to want it for yourself.
• [28:04] Dakota couldn't change until he put in the actual work.
• [30:03] Addicts tend to play the victim. Everyone is out to get them.
• [34:22] Parents have to show tough love before their addicted child gets a wake up call. You can't keep enabling your loved ones.
• [36:26] Dakota overdosed and almost died. Nick found him passed out.
• [37:26] He felt like the people at Rock really cared. Dakota got a sponsor through some help from Ben, and he just hit the ground running.
• [38:17] Dakota was completely against doing the steps, but when he actually did them it was exactly what he needed.
• [39:30] Sponsorship is something that you should try before you knock it.
• [41:31] It's not about the amount of time that you have been clean and sober.
• [42:34] Dakota talks about the importance of surrounding himself with people doing what he does. Community and people to connect with are important.
• [46:02] Dakota has been clean for 75 quality days.
• [47:10] He has had a huge impact on the sober community. It's important to consider yourself a student and learn everyday.
• [49:02] You need to have some type of balance when you go through the program. Go to meetings, but have fun and live life too.

Links and Resources:

Real Recovery Talk on YouTube

Tom and Ben discuss why addiction treatment is so expensive. People call all the time and unfortunately, they don't all have private insurance or a lot of money. It really pulls at the heartstrings when we hear people's backgrounds and what is going on with them. We would really love to help everyone, regardless of resources.

We are going to talk about the different aspects of what makes up treatment and things that can make private treatment more expensive. If we could help everyone for free, we would. But there are a lot of resources that go into treatment, and we break some of that down today.

Show Notes:

• [05:35] When Ben went to get sober at a state funded detox, they would only open the door when someone left. There is a lot of demand for free detox.
• [06:45] On average, some places can be $80,000 for 30 days. These are for people who have a lot of money. Most private in-patient treatment can run $20,000 to $30,000 a month.
• [08:14] Private insurance can have an upfront deductible that the patient pays. Insurance companies authorize a certain amount of days. They don't actually pay what they are charged.
• [12:32] Treatment centers need to make a certain amount of money to stay afloat. Private treatment centers are a business.
• [13:42] Cash amounts are different according to the services that are provided. Licenses therapists went to school, and they need to be compensated.
• [15:15] You get what you pay for. A poorly paid therapist isn't going to be focused on the patient when they have money problems going on at home.
• [16:43] Business owners that take of their team have the positive results trickled down to everyone else. You want people at the treatment center to be invested in the clients.
• [17:47] Liability insurance and other overhead is very high at a treatment center. Accreditation and upkeep also take up money and man hours.
• [19:07] A brick and mortar facility where people live can have expenses really add up. They also have adventure activities and little extras like trips to McDonalds and gas for the vans.
• [22:22] Not all insurance companies pay equally, so sometimes there is extra cash required. We never know what they are going to pay.
• [23:39] Good paying insurance policies allow us to treat other people who don't have insurance that is as good.
• [24:36] There are different treatment centers and level of care. Look at it as an investment as opposed to an expense. Treatment is the most reliable way to get sober on the front end.
• [26:37] Make sure the patient is completely invested before a loved one puts things on the line with a lot of money.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
• Ep. 69 – Choosing the Right Treatment for Me

Tom and Ben talk with Vinny Bocassi about how addiction affected his past and brought him to where he is today. Vinny had a great family growing up, but once he started partying in high school, he just couldn't stop. He even found identity through drugs and partying.

It actually took overdosing three times and being found by his parents and seeing how much they were affected to create a catalyst for change. Finally, seeing how hurt his parents were Vinny went to treatment. This was five years ago and it was his first and last treatment. Now Vinny helps others find sobriety. Today, Vinny shares his story, and how he was able to move past addiction and find identity in recovery.

Show Notes:

• [03:00] Vinny was relatively young when he started with alcohol and weed. Unfortunately, once he started it was hard to stop.
• [04:11] His reputation from partying made him finally feel like he fit in at school. By the next year, he got into harder drugs.
• [05:04] He played sports in school and when he got injured, he tried opiates which became a huge problem.
• [08:29] It's the way our bodies respond to alcohol and drugs that makes us addicts.
• [11:50] Getting numb and being cool took over for Vinny.
• [16:10] After college, Vinny started working for Verizon. Even though, he barely made it through college and lost several scholarships, it took almost dying three times before he realized that enough was enough.
• [18:44] Vinny's parents dropped in for a surprise visit and discovered that he had overdosed, and they barely found him in time to save his life.
• [19:33] Seeing how hurt his parents were he decided to go into treatment.
• [22:28] He is now closer to his parents than ever. He was also his brother's best man.
• [24:49] Vinny now works at Chapel Hill Detox in South Florida.
• [25:30] When talking to parents of people going into treatment, Vinny shares his story and gets really vulnerable.
• [31:54] Going to a treatment center further away from home is the best. People need to be in treatment for at least 30 days.
• [34:18] Vinny shares the life young people can have ahead of them when they get sober. Showing people what sobriety is about, can help them see how great it is.
• [37:05] Recovery stereotypes need to be broken. Vinny does his best to explain the fun that can be had in sobriety. He even goes to music festivals. You are also more free to travel without the drugs. People getting high can miss out on experiences.
• [39:58] Vinny loves active stuff like American Ninja Warrior courses and working out.
• [46:14] Vinny just bought a house. He plays music and is becoming an addiction counselor. He wants to become a CAC and run music groups.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
• Chapel Hill Detox
• Vinny Boscassi on Facebook

Noah Kingery is a living inspiration. He runs Nutrition Management with 100 clients worldwide. He is also only 26 years old, yet he has overcome addiction, gained and lost over 200 pounds, and started and stopped a successful fashion business. When Tom heard about Noah's story, he knew he would be the perfect guest to have on the show to inspire listeners and clients.

In this episode, Tom and Noah talk about Noah's story. The road to recovery. How different upbringings can affect addiction. And Noah shares a lot of wisdom around finding the right support and reasons to stay sober, overcome addiction, and focus on health. This is an inspirational story of success and missteps that are all part of life and living. We want to welcome Noah to the show!

Show Notes

• [03:12] In 2007, Noah was playing soccer and chasing dreams. Noah wanted to escape and two years later he was drinking and doing drugs.
• [04:42] Addiction takes anything good in your life and destroys it.
• [05:47] Noah was born and raised in Bangalore, India. He has two sisters. His family never gave up on him through the addiction process.
• [07:20] Noah also gained 210 pounds in one year. Food can be an addiction too.
• [09:45] Noah worked in the fashion industry and was a functioning addict.
• [14:04] Ridding yourself of guilt and shame and adding accountability is one stepping stone to getting out of addiction.
• [16:25] People who cared deeply for Noah were shattered by his addiction.
• [17:32] Building a disdain for the addictive lifestyle can be incredibly strong fuel for making the right decisions.
• [18:20] In 2014, Noah ended up under financial investigation. He knew it was time to get sober and rebuild his integrity.
• [19:28] He used the gym and quiet time with the lord as sanctuary for release. A year later, he lost the weight and the problems were fixed.
• [21:13] He was under house arrest, so it changed his environment and allowed him to make drastic changes in his life.
• [23:30] He showed up and pushed through even when he didn't feel like it.
• [25:16] In 2016, he closed the door on the fashion industry.
• [26:19] His relationships hold him up and help him stay sober.
• [28:11] When people get sober one of the first things they want to get back is money.
• [29:39] He started Nutrition Management and had 13 clients. He wasn't sure if this was going to be a passion or a career. He was all in and wanted to do it full time.
• [31:58] He now has 50 clients overseas and 50 clients in the US.
• [32:32] Start to steward small things and it will add up.
• [36:47] Whenever urges for emotional eating start to come back, Noah reaches out to his support system.
• [39:13] It's so important to have one person that you can talk to on a deep emotional level.
• [42:37] Identify what you're running from. Identify what you want to accomplish. Deeply root how good it feels to make optimal decisions for your life. Find your purpose and your passion.
• [45:31] Remember how much work you had to do to get to where you are now. Recovery capital. The longer you are sober, the more likely you are to stay sober.
• [53:25] Noah is grateful for this opportunity and wants Tom to continue to create the impact that he is creating.

Links and Resources:

• Nutrition Mgmt.
• Noah J. Kingery on Instagram
• Noah Kingery on Facebook
• Real Recovery Talk YouTube
• Ep. 76 – How Self Esteem Directly Affects Our Recovery

Everyone on the planet is affected by self-esteem in one way or another. Today, Tom discusses how self-esteem in general can influence addiction. In this episode, he talks about what self-esteem is and why positive self-esteem is so important for sobriety and getting and staying sober. He shares his own battle with self-esteem issues and why finding the root cause is so important.

He also stresses that it's a process that needs to be facilitated by a good therapist. He talks about action steps that anyone can take to start building up their self-esteem in a positive way. By the end of the show, you'll be able to understand how the health of one's self-esteem can directly impact whether someone will have or develop an addiction problem.

Show Notes:

• [02:03] Just after we did a show on the dangers of Suboxone, we found out that the manufacturers have been ordered to pay a 1.4 billion dollar settlement for negligent marketing.
• [04:14] Everybody has self-esteem. It can be good or bad, and it's learned over a period of years.
• [04:51] Traumatic events are a driver of negative self esteem.
• [05:41] The majority of the way someone feels about themselves will develop during their childhood state.
• [06:35] If someone has negative self-esteem growing up, the likelihood of them turning to something like addiction is higher.
• [07:43] One of the first things Tom and his team try to do is help clients identify where their negative self-esteem is coming from.
• [08:48] Figuring this out comes through therapeutic process.
• [09:19] If we can figure out what it is that's causing low self-esteem, we are in a position where we can reinforce positive things to build self-esteem back up.
• [09:26] Once self-esteem is built up, it won't be necessary to act out the way an addicted person did in the past.
• [11:20] Tom shares his childhood abandonment issues and how when he first began counseling he didn't believe that it was a problem.
• [12:12] Once Tom realized that he did have abandonment issues, it was a good place for him to start building upon that.
• [14:05] We want to know what happened prior to your drinking and using drugs that made you turn to them in the first place. One of the biggest reasons for this is one's self-esteem.
• [14:45] Providing a life that reinforces positive self-esteem will reduce the likelihood of your child turning to drugs and alcohol.
• [17:19] Once the self-esteem issues are established, it's time to reinforce and build up things that will encourage positive self-esteem.
• [17:33] People have to have some type of sense of identity and sense of security where they are okay with themselves.
• [18:00] Community and having friends is a big part of the sobriety process.
• [19:03] Take the top five people that you surround yourself with the most and you are the average of those five people.
• [19:39] Having a sense of purpose is a big part of the process. Having something to work towards will keep you going when you are sober.
• [21:59] It takes internal search to find your purpose. It's also okay to reach out to people and be vulnerable.
• [22:48] You also have to feel capable and have a sense of self-confidence.
• [23:19] Tell yourself that today might be hard, but you can get through it. If you don't believe this, you'll never achieve it.
• [24:22] Make a list of your strengths and things that you have accomplished in the past.
• [26:04] Eat good food and exercise. What you put in your body will directly impact the way that you feel.
• [26:57] Have some quiet time and go for walks on your own or listen to a podcast.
• [27:24] Be clean and take care of yourself and your hygiene.
• [27:38] Make sure you're home and living area is clean and organized.
• [28:10] Do things that you enjoy. Try things that you haven't done before to see what you like.
• [28:35] Doing all of these things will really help to build up your self-esteem.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
• Ep. 75 – Suboxone – Our Opinions – The Pros and Cons

Suboxone has been a hot topic for us recently. Today, Tom and Ben take some time to educate you about Suboxone, so that you can make an educated decision for yourself or your loved one. Ben has personal experience being on Suboxone and it was one of the medically assisted treatment or MAT options. It's also a drug that is marketed by the manufacturers.

In this episode, we share some of the pros and cons of using this substance. We aren't against MAT programs, but some of the information can be misleading. We do believe that abstinence based long-term sobriety has better outcomes. We talk about the importance of identifying the proper candidate, some of the marketing, whether it can get you high or not, and much more.

Show Notes:

• [02:59] Ben has personal experience being on Suboxone long-term. It's a medically assisted treatment MAT option.
• [03:19] One thing to be aware of is that there's a pharmaceutical company and marketing behind Suboxone.
• [04:40] We are here to educate you on the pros and cons of it.
• [05:08] Suboxone can help a lot of people get to that abstinence-based part of their recovery.
• [06:18] Suboxone is a partial opioid agonist mixed with an opioid antagonist. It blocks all other opiates. You have to be in full withdrawal before going on Suboxone.
• [08:12] Someone who is using for a long time would be candidate. They've made several attempts at sobriety, but their brain chemistry has changed. Tapering down and using Suboxone should help.
• [10:43] Suboxone is marketed as a magic pill or a cure. It really just assists in the process.
• [11:49] It definitely has an opioid effect for people who have a low tolerance. Used properly it can help change the lifestyle and help focus on treatment and therapy.
• [14:12] Suboxone is used in a detox center as a taper. Without medical assistance, a heroin user can go through a lot of withdrawals.
• [15:02] After two weeks, you should be off the Suboxone completely and have nothing in your system.
• [15:35] The problem arises when people start using Suboxone as a crutch or realize that it can get them high, then they are just trading one for the other.
• [15:47] People on Suboxone maintenance programs can be on it for multiple years. Coming off of the Suboxone will be just as bad or worse than coming off of the heroin.
• [16:29] Ben was on Suboxone for more than a couple years. Ultimately, the game plan should be to get off of everything, even if that plan takes a couple years.
• [18:20] Another thing to think about is what would you do if your insurance runs out or if the pharmacy runs out of Suboxone.
• [19:15] Ben will take someone through the 12 steps even if they are on Suboxone. You get the most sick when you drop from 1 mg to 0.
• [21:22] The tipping point where it's about to get uncomfortable is one of the hardest places for an addict to be when trying to maintain sobriety.
• [22:10] There's going to be an uncomfortable part of the process, but you have to go through it to get to the other side.
• [25:24] Are you going to reach your fullest potential when you are on Suboxone? No, the longer you are on it, it becomes the new normal.
• [27:13] Suboxone is a narcotic that wreaks havoc on the body. You won't be in as good shape having this in your system as you would be with it not in your system.
• [28:18] People are even going into treatment to get off of Suboxone.
• [31:42] Addiction is a symptom of something that is going on. Let's figure out what's causing anxiety that makes you need to take the anti-anxiety medicine.
• [33:40] We need to figure out what's causing all of these uncomfortable feelings and address that.
• [34:52] We aren't anti Suboxone, but we do believe you need to take an individualistic approach.
• [35:22] Don't make the decision to use Suboxone alone. Reach out to someone who has the education to help you.
• [36:57] Your loved one has to buy into their own treatment plan.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube

Why do people leave treatment early? Tom and Ben we'll be discussing the top five reasons why people leave treatment early in this podcast episode. There are so many excuses and reasons that people use to say that recovery isn't working for them. Most of these come from within. We discuss the top five, and how these objections can be overcome.

We also talk about each of the reasons and explain how they can apply to different people. Recovery isn't easy, and it isn't supposed to be. We talk about the importance of being challenged and having opportunities for growth. We also talk about how family members can contribute to the problem and more.

Show Notes:

• [02:48] They are in denial that there is even a problem. Sometimes people have to be strong-armed into going into treatment. There are interventions, and things are taken away.
• [03:37] If treatment is forced on people, they may not believe that they have a problem.
• [04:10] Any part of the family dynamic can be in denial not just the addict. This is why we don't want the loved ones intervening during treatment.
• [06:54] As time goes on, people start feeling better and the addiction starts creeping back in. This is unfortunate because this is the time people start leaving treatment. Getting 90 to 120 days in treatment is the key.
• [07:53] The program is just too difficult. If it was easy everyone would do it. Without a challenge, you won't grow.
• [08:53] We have adventure challenges and make things difficult, so people have an opportunity to constantly grow.
• [09:44] Having to adapt and follow rules creates challenges that can help people in treatment grow and learn to face challenges.
• [10:40] We want the opportunity for things to be difficult, because it's about the application of the tools clients learn to use.
• [13:25] Withdrawal symptoms. People still feel bad after detox. This can cause people wanting to leave when they can't get through this uncomfortable feeling.
• [14:39] Post acute withdrawal can cause anxiety and depression where people still aren't thinking quite right.
• [16:53] If someone is clinically depressed, it's our responsibility as a facility to help with that.
• [18:53] It really takes us about three weeks in treatment to get into the work and see the patterns and behaviors.
• [20:00] Anxiety and depression can have an effect on all of these things we are talking about today and can prevent people from having the lifestyle transformation they need to make.
• [20:27] Doesn't think treatment is effective. People have been to multiple treatment centers, and they're not learning anything that they don't already know.
• [21:04] If you've been to 10 treatment centers, we have the opportunity to teach you how to apply the stuff that you've learned. Knowing the tools and applying them are two different things.
• [23:45] People can get discouraged and adopt a mentality of this is pointless, and I'm not going to do it.
• [25:38] Go into group with enthusiasm. If you've been to 10 treatments, you probably have something to offer other people. Try to find a purpose like bringing hope and inspiration to others.
• [26:26] I already have the tools to stay sober. You can't teach me anything that I don't already know. You have to create an environment where people want to apply the tools that they've learned.
• [27:27] People need to be in an environment that fosters sobriety.
• [27:57] Denial that there is a problem. The program is too difficult. We're still going through some withdrawal systems. They don't think the program will be effective. I have the tools to stay sober already.

Links and Resources:

• Real Recovery Talk on YouTube

This episode is all about the benefits of adventure therapy. It's no secret that I'm affiliated with Rock Recovery and one of the things we offer is adventure therapy. This type of therapy has so many benefits. In this podcast, I'm going to talk about what it is. Why you would want it, and how it helps prepare people for a life during and after recovery.

We offer activities like kayaking, paddleboarding, rock climbing, and more. We also understand the benefits of just being outside. It's our goal to create the best environment for the recovery of you or your loved one. Being located in Florida is the perfect place to get outside and try something new. Plus, the benefits are huge, and that's what I'm talking about today.

Show Notes:

• [04:10] The purpose behind adventure therapy. It's a psychotherapy that's designed to challenge our clients.
• [04:37] Doing something you've never done before will cause anxiety and challenge you, but you come out the other side as accomplished.
• [05:28] We do a lot of activities like kayaking, paddle boarding, surfing, snorkeling, and climbing rock walls. These are a lot of things that addicts and alcoholics have never experienced before.
• [06:10] Before the activity there will be a lot of anxiety and then afterwards people will feel great.
• [06:28] It also removes people out of their element and their comfort zone.
• [06:58] Adventure therapy changes we do something different all the time.
• [08:00] We also do things that don't provoke anxiety like nature walks or just being outside. We also visit the Japanese garden.
• [10:20] A lot of our clients come from the Northeast and it is different in Florida. They get opportunities to do things that they haven't done before, and they begin to know and understand that sobriety is fun.
• [11:27] Sobriety needs to be worth having, and if it's boring no one is going to want to do it.
• [12:17] Adventure therapy also helps people be in the moment and eliminate outside influences.
• [13:21] In group, you won't retain anything if you're just thinking about what's going on back home. When you're out doing things, you have to be attentive and engaged.
• [13:58] Adventure therapy doesn't allow us to sit there and ruminate. It makes us be in the moment.
• [14:28] When people first become sober it's very important to stay busy and surround yourself with people with the same goals.
• [15:41] We need to be able to branch out, try new experiences, and surround ourselves with people with positive input.
• [17:10] We encourage people to try, and it builds their confidence and gives them a new joy.
• [18:39] We can cover everything involved in treatment while we're outside doing different things.
• [19:25] Giving people new opportunities to grow is one of the best ways to help with their sobriety.

Links and Resources:

• Rock Recovery Center

Tom and Ben are going to be talking about using your time efficiently in recovery. They will be referencing the movie Moneyball, because there are many parallels between the movie and using your time efficiently in recovery. In the movie, the manager, played by Brad Pitt, gets rid of his star players who swing for the fence and replaces them with players who focus on just getting on base.

The main parallel is the importance of incremental steps. You can't change everything at once. It's important to get sober and then work on life skills to properly transition back to real life and stay sober. Getting a job and paying your rent is an important first step to living real life while being sober. We talk about how these principles apply to the client, the facility, and the family or loved ones of the client.

Show Notes:

• [04:35] Average players get on base. One base at a time, you still get the same amount of points. It's just playing it safer.
• [05:03] In treatment, there is a limited amount of time, so it has to be used efficiently.
• [06:01] Sometimes people in treatment want to change everything about themselves right now.
• [06:25] It's important to recognize at the primary purpose of treatment is to get off of drugs and alcohol. Setting the bar too high sets unrealistic expectations.
• [07:05] What we're asking clients to do is make progress. You don't have to go from 0 to 100 in 5 seconds.
• [07:10] We want to take incremental steps and continue to progress.
• [08:04] It's the responsibility of the family, loved ones, and clients to pick a facility that fosters an environment for progress.
• [08:31] You need something worth hanging onto after you stop drugs and alcohol.
• [09:40] IOP intensive outpatient is the step after the inpatient lockdown part. It's the transitional step that goes from treatment into the real world.
• [11:33] The responsibility of the facility should help clients acclimate to the real world.
• [13:41] Clients have a responsibility to look for work.
• [14:24] During IOP, clients need to take ownership of their own recovery.
• [14:37] Being in recovery is an opportunity to work on yourself and only yourself.
• [15:09] We want clients to take incremental steps and make a resume and map out potential jobs.
• [16:45] Clients need to progress and get to the steps that will make them self-sufficient.
• [18:59] Parents can unwittingly work against the progress of their loved one by making it too easy for them and not expecting them to get a job.
• [20:07] To get in a sober house, you have to have at least 30 days of sobriety. You have to be employed and pay the $150 a week rent on your own.
• [20:38] It comes down to a sense of accomplishment and ownership in one's recovery.
• [21:21] Don't let your whole recovery ride on a job offer. Have something in case your big plans fall through.
• [26:14] We are supposed to be exposed to things like bills and work during treatment.
• [27:24] Set yourself up for success where you are at today.
• [28:16] We see more success with clients that just go and do it.

Links and Resources:

• Moneyball