Rites of Passage have quietly faded from many modern communities. This leaves boys to navigate adulthood by themselves. Without clear markers of growth, responsibility, or belonging. In this episode of the Men’s Therapy Podcast, host Marc Azoulay speaks with Paul Marcinkowski. Paul is a counselor with the Becoming a Man Program working inside Chicago public schools. Paul brings decades of experience in youth mentorship, men’s work, and school-based intervention. Together, they explore what masculinity and mental health really look like on the ground.

Paul explains that the Becoming a Man Program is not built around lectures or discipline. Instead, it is structured around consistent group circles, experiential activities, and emotional skill-building. It meets boys where they are. Weekly sessions are embedded into the school day. These sessions help young men learn how to recognize emotions, regulate anger, and take accountability for their actions. Paul describes how many students initially attend for social reasons. Gradually, the group becomes something deeper. It becomes a place of support and reflection.

Drawing from his background in camp leadership and men’s initiation work, Paul sees masculinity as a process, not a performance. Rites are not about proving toughness. They are about guiding boys into responsibility with the support of a community. Marc broadens the conversation to the bigger picture. What happens to men’s mental health when we leave boys without initiation? What does leadership look like when no one teaches young men how to grow into it?

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