Episode Summary: On today’s episode I chat with Jory Agate, IFS trainer, Approved IFS Clinical Consultant, and IFS Certified Therapist. We explore two of Jory’s favorite topics and areas of expertise: rupture and repair, and grief. She will be offering a two-day workshop on grief through Life Architect in November 15 and 16 called IFS is Grief Work: Healing Unattended Losses.

Key Takeaways:

• Rupture and repair are natural parts of all relationships 

• IFS offers a path to engage with parts that arise during conflict

• Repair involves accountability and listening rather than just apologizing

• The importance of centering the impacted person’s needs in the repair process

• Grief work is a core component of IFS

• Self does not get overwhelmed; it can be with anything

• How can we hold space for our grief without feeling overwhelmed?

• "When we can acknowledge our exiles and help protectors relax, we open the door to real healing."

• Grieving unmet needs or past hurts allows us to unburden exiles and foster self-compassion.

My Favorite Quote: "Rupture is inevitable, but repair is a choice that builds stronger relationships. When we show up with self-energy, we’re more likely to meet others’ self-energy in return." – Jory Agate

About Jory Agate: Jory Agate is a certified IFS trainer and therapist based in Cambridge, Massachusetts. With a background in parish ministry, Jory brings her commitment to healing, relationships, and community into her IFS practice and teaching.

Episode Sponsor: Life Architect  

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Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He is a writer, counselor, and IFS Level 1 practitioner.  

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Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program.  

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