Angry On The Inside - ADHD Women Talking Late Diagnosis

S1 E18 ADHD Women & Gratitude Guilt: Why Thankfulness Feels Hard for the ADHD Brain


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Gratitude season hits different when you have ADHD. While the world is shouting “just be thankful,” most of us are stuck juggling overwhelm, rumination, perfectionism, emotional intensity, and a brain that cannot seem to slow down long enough to notice the good stuff.

In this episode, Jess and Jeannine get honest about what gratitude actually looks like for ADHD women not the Pinterest version, not the toxic-positivity version, and definitely not the guilt-tripped version.

From Jess’s real-life run-in with an aggressively cheerful quote at her oncologist’s office, to Jeannine’s abandoned gratitude journal, to the science behind dopamine, serotonin, rumination, micro-gratitude moments, and why joy feels so huge (and so rare) when it finally breaks through this is gratitude told through the lens of real neurodivergent life.

Inside this episode:

  • Why gratitude for ADHD brains is awareness, not performance

  • The difference between gratitude and toxic positivity

  • How comparison, ableism, and internalized shame sneak into “thankfulness”

  • What the science says about gratitude, dopamine, serotonin, and ADHD emotional regulation

  • Joy as a form of gratitude (hello, “wee moments”)

  • Why perfectionism, RSD, and negative self-talk shut gratitude down

  • How neuroplasticity supports changing emotional patterns at any age

  • Micro-gratitude vs. forced routines and why tiny wins actually work

  • Why ADHD women feel undeserving of good things (and how to shift that)

  • The emotional power of handwritten letters and intentional connection

    Jess and Jeannine keep it real, keep it funny, and keep it grounded in lived ADHD experience. No pressure, no journals required, no guilt if you haven’t felt thankful today. Gratitude isn’t a task it’s a moment. And you deserve to let the good stuff count.

    If this episode hit home, share it with someone who gets it.

    We’re building a space where neurodivergent women can feel seen, validated, and a little less alone.

    00:00 – When Gratitude Season Meets ADHD Reality

    Holiday pressure, “just be grateful,” and why it doesn’t land for ADHD brains.

    01:27 – Toxic Positivity in a Serious Space

    Jess’s oncologist-office moment & why forced positivity feels invalidating.

    02:21 – Ableism, Comparison, and Misunderstood Gratitude

    What gratitude is not — and how comparison hijacks it.

    04:33 – The Science: Dopamine, Serotonin & the ‘Wee Moment’

    ADHD joy, emotional intensity, and why gratitude hits differently.

    07:09 – Perfectionism, Shame Cycles & Feeling Undeserving

    How negative self-talk blocks gratitude and keeps ADHD women small.

    10:16 – Neuroplasticity & Rewiring Gratitude Patterns

    ADHD brains can change — even later in life.

    12:06 – Gratitude Letters, RSD & Communicating Love

    Why writing feels safer, deeper, and emotionally clearer for ADHD folks.

    14:22 – The Shirt Spiral: Perfectionism on Full Display

    A relatable, classic Jess story about overwhelm, appearance, and RSD.

    17:06 – Gratitude in Chaos: ADHD, Rumination & Emotional Overload

    Why pausing is hard, and how ADHD blocks access to positive moments.

    26:29 – Micro-Gratitude: Tiny Wins That Actually Work

    Realistic, ADHD-friendly gratitude without guilt, pressure, or perfection.

    29:12 – A Moment of Gratitude Between Jess & Jeannine
    ...more
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