On today’s episode, McKay talks about how to turn the skeptics and critics in your life to supporters and partners.  He shares several principles that can help bring skeptics to your way of thinking.  First, approach everything from their frame of reference. Often the smartest person in the room tends to be the quietest one, because they first seek to understand.  He goes on to talk about the importance of speaking with authenticity.  

McKay shares the experience of Nelson Mandela who used the power of helping others feel validated to prevail in one of the most significant negotiations of all time.  McKay then talks of how parents and people can use trust to influence the skeptics and critics in their life. McKay then shares the tactics of Robert Cialdini to develop more influence with people in our life. These tactics include reciprocity, explaining why, contrasting, and social proof. So, put these skills to test when dealing with the skeptics or critics in your life.  They will help you win them over to your way of thinking.

The Finer Details of This Episode: 

• Shania Twain’s vocal cords infected by ticks
• Ticks as a metaphor for skeptics 
• The importance of listening 
• Using trust to win over skeptics
• The power of authenticity
• Valuing others’ opinions
• Nelson Mandela’s quest for equality and freedom
• Practicing what you preach
• The rule of reciprocity

Quotes: 

“​​Turning skeptics into believers, and critics into partners can be done. And learning the skill to do that is not only useful in sales and business, but also with kids, spouses, and a host of other people in our life.”

“When I'm talking to a skeptic, I don't always know how to bring them to my side, but after listening often, that way to bring them over is revealed to me. It's in listening that you gain your inspiration of how to persuade them.”

“People who ask questions are often the smartest in the room, because they have the humility to ask about what they don't know.”

“Next, winning the skeptics, critics, or other ticks to your side is a matter of trust. And trust is a function of two characteristics: character and competence. You may have someone with extreme character on your team, but if they're not competent, you don't trust them to do what needs to be done.”

“So answer questions directly and genuinely. And remember, rapport is not enough to bring skeptics to your side.”

“You see, Mandela understood that to get the people with the guns to give up the power, he had to convince them that they would be safe after doing so.”

“​​When people know why you're building a business or your children understand why there is a rule, they're much more apt to comply.”

“Remember, shut up and listen. Use questions to guide the direction of the discussion but make sure the skeptics and critics feel understood. Then talk to them in their language and from their point of view.”

Links:

Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen