By McKay Christensen
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The podcast currently has 188 episodes available.
We all have gaps. Gaps in our awareness of others’ feelings, in how we communicate or don’t communicate, or in the many ways we don’t measure up particularly in dealing with people. Our emotional intelligence allows us to navigate through life and difficult times and, as such, the topic of emotional intelligence is one of great importance. McKay enlightens us on the subject today and how we can bridge the gaps many of us tend to have in our emotional lives.
McKay starts with the story of the Golden Gate Bridge which was built despite the many apparent impossibilities and how this bridge has become a great landmark in the city of San Francisco. He likens us to this bridge - when we decide to improve our emotional intelligence, we bridge gaps that we have in our lives. Our host also discusses the impact of negative emotions and avoiding the ‘me-monster’ that neglects the views of others, and identifies some ways to strengthen our emotional quotient - bridge gaps by seeing the views of others, and show genuine interest in things that interest them. McKay finishes up by sharing his message for us all to harness the power of time, use the NIB rule - Notice, Importance, and Belonging, and watch how strength comes into our lives as a result.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
- Creating landmark moments in your life; lessons from the Golden Gate bridge
- Recognize that you have a gap
- Why does your emotional quotient matter?
- The impact of negative emotions
- How do you avoid difficult emotions?
- Ways to strengthen your EQ and bridge your gaps
- Walk in the shoes of others
- Harness the power of time
- The NIB rule
Quotes:
“There's something about us or what we're doing that needs to be overcome, and this isn't easy.”
“It's our shortfalls that are at the heart of our gaps in life. And here's the thing, bridging the gaps in our life is possible.”
“It is critical to remember that we all have gaps, we all fall short, and sometimes we need to step up and do what we think isn't possible.”
“When we overcome and become more of who we can and should be, we find landmark moments in our life.”
“A ‘me-monster’ is someone so self-absorbed that no one else matters. Someone who thinks and makes decisions out of their mood or need or perspective.”
“It's easy in life to get so focused on ourselves, that we don't see the major things going on around us, and this makes us blind to the gaps that exist in our life and with people.”
“EQ is the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. It is the ability to understand things from the view of other people, empathize with others, and overcome challenges in dealing with people and defuse conflict.”
“Success in school is 75% IQ, and 25% EQ. In life, it's exactly the opposite.”
“Every time we strengthen our emotional intelligence, we bridge a little more of the gap.”
“When you can step into another person's view with ease, and empathize with their way of thinking, and do that with a variety of people, you don't get stressed or upset or thrown off course in life because you understand others.”
“As we learn to catch our emotional reactions before we act them out, we become more self-aware and more emotionally mature.”
“EQ comes alive when you're able to become aware of the full extent of your emotions, whether positive or negative.”
“I've learned that, over time, things tend to be less important than I thought they were at the moment.”
“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.”
Show Links:
Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen
The force of hope is a potent one that has the power to brighten our lives and bring happiness. No matter how isolated or stuck in your business or life you may feel, it is so very important to hold on to hope and allow it to influence the decisions you make. It is a key ingredient in helping you to live the life you want to live, and in this week’s episode, McKay explores the propensity to hope, demonstrating just how powerful it can be even in the bleakest of situations.
Trapped in a sinking cave for two weeks, 12 young boys and their coach held onto the hope that they would survive without food and sufficient air. This moving story acts as our opener in this episode as McKay correlates it to situations we face in life. The propensity to hope is having a behavior or pattern that results in a habit of holding on to hope. Today, Mckay discusses what hope encompasses and how it can be defined, and also delves into how to find hope when all seems lost. The episode comes to a close with McKay encouraging us to always choose hope because when we let hope make our decisions, we discover a better and happier way of living.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
- Having hope in a bleak situation- the story of the Wild Boars of Thailand
- Understanding what propensity means
- Hope in Pandora’s box
- What does hope encompass?
- How to stop thinking about the ‘nevers’
- How do you find hope when you are down and discouraged?
- A story of hope told in a painting
- The choice of hope
- The benefits of holding on to hope
- Ways to acquire the trait of being hopeful
- Hope as a force multiplier
Quotes:
“We all get buried, stuck from time to time, whether by our own poor judgment or by factors completely beyond our control.”
“We had each other and we had hope.”
“We all face storms and darkness and are lost in isolation from time to time. Sometimes we lose, fail, regress and it's in those times that we're unsure whether we can, in fact, do what we're being asked to do.”
“Hope is a passion for what is possible. When things around you say give up, hope always remains.”
“The definition of propensity is an established pattern, behavior, or an attraction to a thing.”
“Are you a person of hope? What's your propensity?”
“When we have hope, we have more than we think.”
“Don't give in to your depravations, live up to your expectations.”
“You weren't placed here to peek into your future, but to open the door wide and walk through with confidence.”
“Hope is the belief that circumstances will get better. It's not a wish for things to get better, it's the actual belief, the knowledge that it will happen.”
“Remember, you can't make someone else's choices, and you shouldn't let them make yours.”
Show Links:
Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen
Too often, we seek to get by doing the least we can do. And, after a while, the least we can do becomes a way of life for many of us. The problem is that we then work and live well below our ability and level of performance possible. And this habit or way of living begins to take over our life. Imagine an Olympic athlete whose attitude is to do the least they can do in their training as they prepare for the Olympics. It would be foolish to assume you could excel with that mindset. World class athletes instead do the most they can do to reach their goals.
For example, many people dream of becoming wealthy without having to put forth any effort. Today’s episode begins with a discussion of why playing the lottery seems tempting but is an unwise investment. McKay points out that the real lottery winners are the IRS and state governments, which take in almost half of the winnings, while those who buy the tickets lose week after week and would be better off putting that money into savings instead. He argues that we’ve developed a habit of wanting to do the least possible to earn money but that this attitude will catch up to us eventually, like a bank robber who makes one mistake and loses the money and their freedom. Instead, McKay encourages a change in attitude, leaving behind “the least possible” and instead developing a culture of excellence in ourselves, our families, and our work environments. Using examples of big-name companies, including Procter & Gamble and Disney, he demonstrates how the pursuit of excellence can have huge benefits, both in business and in our personal lives.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
- Why do so many people play the lottery despite the odds being stacked against them?
- Federal and state governments are the big lottery winners
- The story of Alan Pace, who tried to get rich by doing the least possible (by robbing a bank) but wound up in jail after one simple mistake
- How to encourage your children to strive for excellence (featuring the story of creating spelling bee champs by encouraging teamwork)
- Scarcity mentality vs. abundance mentality in the workspace
- The pursuit of excellence as a business strategy
- Disney’s development of The Lion King as an example of the pursuit of excellence in action
Quotes:
“Let’s say I put $100 million inside a house somewhere in North America, somewhere in Canada, the United States, Mexico, Guatemala, etc. And then I gave you a key, and you had to pick the right house, you had one chance to pick the right house. Those are better odds than your winning the Mega Millions lottery.”
“I also think people enjoy the fantasy of it, they dream of what it would be like to have all of that money, right? And that’s a little exciting and brings excitement to their day. But most of all, I think they get in the habit of chasing the least they can do to be wealthy.”
“If I were to ask you if you’d rather win the lottery or not, of course, you’d rather win the lottery, right? But here’s a proven fact. When you have to work to build wealth, you build yourself, you build your life, you build your capabilities.”
“The least we can do becomes a way of life for many of us.”
“When you begin, even in small ways to invite excellence into your life, you will feel a spirit of self-worth and peace enter into your life. And that spirit will invite you to rise, to do things with the best part of you, instead of the least part of you.”
“Excellence is not an act but a habit.”
“When you stop doing the least you can do and do your best, it brings you back to who you can and should be. It restores you, your hope and your future. Excellence is a strategy for being happy.”
“Find one way each day to be excellent, and here’s what you’ll find - you’ll find the real you.”
Show Links:
Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen
How do you find your true worth? Our self worth is determined not by how much we get, but how much we give. When you see your noble responsibility to use your gifts for good, you find your worth. In this week’s episode, McKay delves into the subject of noblesse oblige, explaining the noble responsibility we have of helping others by giving, and getting inspired to live happy lives along the way.
He starts off with the story of Chhiring Dorje who, in spite of being in danger himself, carried out the most daring rescue on the deadly K2 mountain. McKay also talks about finding inspiration by giving, explains the law of giving, and encourages us to practice the Five-Minute Favor to incorporate a lifestyle of giving into our lives. He finishes off by advising us to accept the noble responsibility of sharing our strengths and gifts with others - not to get something in return, but to live fulfilled and enriched lives.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
- The most daring rescue in climbing history- Chhiring Dorje Sherpa’s story
- Finding inspiration by giving
- Stories of those who gave
- The law of giving
- Conditioning yourself to a lifestyle of giving
- The Five Minute Favor
- The gift of La Liberté éclairant
- Getting from giving
- How to become a genuine giver
- The noblesse oblige concept
Quotes:
“When we turn from getting to giving, we find strength and inspiration we didn't know we had before.”
“But when we forget ourselves and focus on helping others in their climb or goals or efforts, we get inspired. We also find our true capability.”
“Perhaps there should be a different kind of Forbes list— a list of people who give.”
“In giving, you find your worth.”
“The law of giving is a law or principle with a promise that if you become a person who focuses primarily on giving, you will find a greater return than might otherwise be possible.”
“Every time you find five minutes, think about how and to whom you can give. It's amazing how rich your life will become if you take all the extra five minutes in your day to give.”
“Self-worth is perfectly correlated with two important outcomes —happiness and freedom from stress.”
“Giving creates reciprocity. Giving creates influence.”
“Your Maker and life and circumstances have given to you certain endowments, and the purpose of these gifts is to be an ongoing blessing to those around you.”
“We have all been given gifts, and some are different than others, but we all have them. And they don't need to be something magnificent - just often a simple talent.”
“Your talents are embedded in the nucleus of who you are. You are more gifted than you know, and these gifts were given to you because you have the unique characteristics and talent to, in turn, give these gifts to the world.”
Show Links:
Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen
What goal are you pursuing in your life? Perhaps it’s to be healthier, or to save a relationship, or maybe it’s to break long standing bad habits. It might be to succeed in business, academics, or your spiritual life. Whatever it is, in this week’s episode, McKay gives insight into the most effective way to achieve your goal, and that’s by doing small, consistent actions over time.
He kicks off by narrating the story of a 544 BC Chinese Grandmaster credited with being the author of the famous book The Art of War, which has been used by modern day leaders up to this day. McKay then cites his favorite quote from the book, “Plan for what is difficult while it is easy, and do what is great, while it is small”, and goes on to reveal how a small and quick apology early on can prevent a potentially large disagreement later. He also shares examples of how doing something small may not seem urgent today, but could lead to something great in the future or even prevent a disaster, and emphasizes the need for consistency in doing the small things for they have a cumulative effect and become more powerful. In essence, today, McKay reveals why the “go big or go home” mentality may not be the most effective, and in doing so, reminds us that what is simple to do is also simple not to do, so we need to be apt to take small, consistent actions to reach our goals.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
· Stories and examples of the effects of doing or not something great when it’s still small.
· The law of attraction.
· How doing something small led to Stanford University.
· The fallacy of the “go big or go home” mentality.
· The principle of action-oriented momentum.
· How small things lead to great outcomes.
· Being apt to act.
Quotes
“In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity.”
“Plan for what is difficult while it is easy, and do what is great while it is small.”
“Small things done consistently alter the trajectory of your life.”
“It's easy to do something today rather than trying to make up lost ground tomorrow.”
“Small is easy, small is fast, small doesn't take much time, and small is doable.”
“Small choices are at the root of almost every result in life.”
“A small thing that will lead to something great comes about just by doing the next right thing.”
“While small may not be sexy, small moves are successful and sustainable.”
“Small has a sister and her name is simple.”
Show Links:
Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen
In this week’s episode, McKay explores the concept of the life thermostat, showing how people set internal limits and how they can reset those limits to achieve personal and professional growth. Through the stories of individuals who faced significant challenges on their journey to achieving greatness, our host highlights themes of resilience, breaking through barriers, and resetting your thermostat.
David Goggins’ journey, from surviving childhood abuse and battling a learning disability to transforming his life through Navy SEAL training and ultra-marathon running, showcases the power of resetting one's mental thermostat. McKay also shares Simu Liu’s story of defying his parents’ expectations to pursue an acting career, eventually landing a role in a Marvel superhero film. He also documents Brian Epstein’s rise from working in his family's record store to managing one of the greatest bands in history, The Beatles. Each story presented here today emphasizes the importance of perseverance, embracing change, and shedding old identities. McKay concludes with a powerful message: by resetting our internal thermostat and refusing to settle for mediocrity, we can unlock our true potential and lead ourselves and others to new heights.
Main Themes:
Top 10 Quotes:
"Every breakthrough you want to make in this life requires a break with your old identity."
"We live in a society where mediocrity is often rewarded, but I wanted to be like those guys who detest mediocrity."
"I've been scared to death of this guy, but this time, I stood up and started helping my mother."
"I realized no one was coming to help me, and that was the moment I decided to change."
"Change is a daily activity that, if practiced, becomes easier the more you do it."
"When you set your thermostat, you establish a range in which you operate—it's up to you to reset it when needed."
"I knew I could be something special, but I was afraid of the work it was going to take."
"Momentum in life and leadership is easier to maintain than to recreate."
"Hope remains for you and me, and it is hope that helps us create a new belief of who we are and can be."
"Reset your thermostat and find the life and person you’ve hoped for—you can change and rise to your true setting."
Show Links:
Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen
McKay undertakes an exploration into the transformative power of confidence this week, illustrating how it can lead to extraordinary achievements in both personal and professional realms. Using the massive success of the Barbie movie as a central example, he examines how confidence can change perceptions, drive success, and inspire others, even when faced with doubt or setbacks.
McKay expands on this theme by sharing stories of such influential figures as Margot Robbie, whose belief in the Barbie movie’s potential turned it into a billion-dollar phenomenon, and Ruth Handler, whose confidence in her vision created the iconic Barbie doll. The episode highlights that confidence isn’t an inherent trait but something nurtured through practice, dialogue, and learning from others. He goes on to note that, by modeling confidence, individuals inspire those around them, creating a ripple effect that empowers others to act boldly. All told, the stories and insights McKay shares here today emphasize that confidence can be contagious, and with persistence, anyone can unlock their potential and achieve great things.
Episode Highlights:"Confidence wears red lipstick—it steps into the room unapologetically, radiating self-assurance."
"Margot Robbie didn’t just star as Barbie; she was confident enough to produce the film and make it a global phenomenon."
"Ruth Handler’s belief in Barbie was unshakable, even when others doubted her vision."
"Confidence isn't just a trait, it's a statement—a bold declaration that says, ‘I know who I am, and I’m not afraid to be myself.’"
"Practice builds confidence, whether you’re diving into a pool or pitching a new business idea."
"Dialogue with those who know more than you helps accelerate growth and boosts confidence in any field."
"John Hancock signed his name large enough for King George to read—because confidence makes a statement."
"When we model confidence, we give others permission to lean into their own strengths and abilities."
"Confidence doesn’t wait for someone else to lead—it steps up and takes the first move."
"You were not put on this earth to be passed by; your confidence is the key to unlocking your future."
Show Links:
Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen
There are two primary sources of unhappiness: living focused on the wrong things, and living in a way not in harmony with what matters most to you. Today, McKay opens our eyes to see why we need to discover what matters most to us and how to live in harmony with our values to live a happy and purposeful life.
In this episode, McKay tells the story of the integrity possessed by Tony Finau, a man who valued honesty and decided to live with his values. He goes on to discuss the reasons why many are unhappy, the importance of deciding what matters most to you, and ways to identify your governing values. As McKay makes clear here today, when you become a light, and not a judge, and write down your governing values, you become set on your way to a happier and better life.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
- Tony Finau’s integrity
- The sources of unhappiness in life
- Why you have to decide what matters most
- How to live in harmony with what matters most
- Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony- the pursuit of what matters
- How do you determine what matters most to you?
- Ways to identify your governing values
- Be a light, not a judge
- Living in harmony with your chosen values
- The power of planning your day
Quotes:
“To be happy and to pursue a purposeful life we have to decide what matters most and then seek to live in harmony with what matters.”
“A deal is a deal. A handshake is a handshake. Integrity is integrity.”
“It seems like selfishness, operating without common respect, and other such things, are the trades growing in our society.”
“Be yourself, but be that perfectly.”
“Our daily actions are in line with what matters most to us.”
“Our purpose in life is to become the best we can be, to become a person of noble actions and virtues.”
“We only have one life on this earth. I mean, I haven't heard of anyone going around for a second try, and if we aren't doing what matters most, then what in fact are we doing?”
“You must take responsibility for your belief window and remove the erroneous beliefs on that window.”
Show Links:
Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen
In this latest episode of Open Your Eyes, McKay delves into how lessons from football, business, and life can shape leadership and influence. Building upon a foundation featuring the legendary strategies of NFL coach Bill Walsh, our host unpacks the ways in which teamwork, preparation, and foresight are essential to becoming a leader of influence in any field.
McKay highlights Walsh's remarkable transformation of the San Francisco 49ers, emphasizing key leadership principles such as talent recruitment, organizational excellence, and seizing opportunities. Through this and other compelling stories, listeners learn how successful leaders anticipate challenges, foster a culture of accountability, and inspire teams through humility and authenticity. The episode underscores that great leadership isn’t just about strategy—it's about genuinely investing in people and creating a clear vision for success. Ultimately, McKay reminds us all that true influence stems from preparation, belief in others, and bold, decisive action.
Episode Highlights:"Everything Walsh did was to gain influence over the hearts and minds of his team."
"Leaders of influence know it's not about the shoes, but what you do in them."
"In your organization, be a first-class noticer. Learn from mistakes and seize opportunities."
"Recruiting and finding talent is key. You are only as good as your people."
"Leaders with influence force everyone in the organization to think at a higher level."
"Anticipating the what-ifs makes you a better leader and a leader of influence."
"Success doesn’t care what road you take to its doorstep."
"Walsh's leadership wasn’t just about strategy—it was about instilling confidence and clarity in his team."
"Humility is perhaps the greatest quality of a leader of influence."
"Great leaders believe in their people, and that belief permeates every action."
Show Links:
Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen
Today, McKay brings to us an important topic - starting your impossible. Recognizing that we all have to face what appears to be the absolutely unachievable from time to time, McKay shares with listeners, using real world examples, how to start and keep doing the impossible.
He begins the episode describing the accomplishments of the Wright brothers, who, through the challenges associated with air travel, were able to do the impossible. McKay also speaks about finding inspiration as the path to success just like the Wright brothers did, the impact of walking with giants, and why social learning is effective for doing the impossible. He rounds off the episode with a story about some wives who showed immense courage and encourages us to forge our own courage by building our optimism so we can start our own impossible.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
- The impossible challenges that came with air flight in the past
- How the Wright brothers dared the impossible
- Otto Lilienthal’s impact on the Wright brothers’ success
- Why you need an inspiration to start the impossible
- Why do Alcoholics Anonymous have high success rates?
- John Woolman’s mission
- Walking with giants
- The reason why social learning works
- The power of faith in doing the impossible
- The castle of the loyal wives
- Gathering courage for the impossible
- Keeping your optimism for courage
Quotes:
“We all have the impossible from time to time - a change needs to happen, but it seems impossible.”
“You need a connection with other people where you can find inspiration.”
“The people with which you surround yourself have a huge impact on how you see yourself, your challenges, and your ability to face those challenges.”
“When you learn from others, and you learn from ongoing interaction with others, you store those memories with emotion, and, as a result, they're more powerfully recalled and used.”
“I believe that the moment you let faith into your life, you will see more power and peace enter into your life. You worry less, you trust more.”
“There is power in faith. Faith is an enabling power. ”
“Open your eyes to the fact that you can do what you set out to do.”
“Courage is the mental or moral strength to resist opposition, danger or hardship. It implies firmness of mind and will in the face of extreme difficulty.”
“The truth is that whenever you're facing the impossible at its deepest, most fundamental level, it requires courage.”
“We must fix our minds on the fact that we can do the impossible, and we have to decide in advance that it is worth it.”
“Find your courage.”
Show Links:
Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen
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