Summary

Our guest is Mindi Rosser, Social Media Strategist and Linkedin Expert, and our episode today focuses on confidence and success, and how you can use the power of your Linkedin profile to design the career of your dreams.

We also share stories on the value of conducting experiments, being open to trying new approaches, and getting back up from our failures. Engineering exit strategies, i.e. optimizing your Linkedin profile helps build lasting confidence and self-esteem.

Guest Bio

Mindi Rosser helps business to business owners, thought leaders, and subject matter experts to start having great conversations on LinkedIn with their audience, prospects, and peers based on trust, authenticity, and consistency.

Social Media & Contact Links

https://www.tiktok.com/@mindirosser 

https://www.instagram.com/mindirrosser/

https://www.facebook.com/mindirossermarketing/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindirosser/ 

https://www.youtube.com/c/MindiRosserMarketing 

http://www.mindirosser.com 

 

FREE Salary Negotiations Training

Learn to ask and receive the compensation your deserve. Get my free audio training here: 

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/fightforyourworth 

 

Transcript

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/transcripts 

 

 

Summary

Welcome to Salary Negotiations Made Simple!

I am your host, Dorothy Mashburn, and it's my absolute pleasure to introduce our esteemed guest, Katherine Minett. With a remarkable track record spanning over 30 years in sales and sales leadership, Katherine brings a wealth of expertise and insights to our discussion today. Get ready to be inspired by her wealth of knowledge and experience!

During our conversation with Katherine Minett, we explored valuable insights on influence and persuasion. Tune in to discover her story and how to: 

• Build grit and resilience 
• Effectively communicate with your audience by focusing on how you can truly help them; Relate these strategies to positioning yourself for your dream job
• Listen your way into success by understanding your audience's needs
• Prepare for negotiations and sales meetings like a pro
• Cultivate a positive mindset to handle rejection and turn it into motivation

Links Mentioned

Register for Katherine’s free LIVE (on Zoom) 60 min Sales Masterclass

https://www.minettsalesacademy.com/salesmasterclass 

Get Dorothy's FREE audio training on salary negotiations

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/fightforyourworth 

Get a FREE script for a payraise

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/askforaraise 

About Katherine Minett

Katherine Minett is a Sales Success Business Coach and Trainer with more than 30 years of front-line corporate sales experience. Katherine is the CEO and founder of Minett Sales Academy. She trains and coaches’ network marketers and direct sales business owners who are struggling to convert their leads to customers, to go from feeling frustrated, tired, and stuck, to confidently making sales, achieving growth in their business, and impacting the world with their products without feeling salesy.

Social Media Links https://www.facebook.com/minettsalesacademy https://www.instagram.com/minettsalesacademy/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/katherineminett-sales-coach-trainer/ https://www.minettsalesacademy.com

 

Transcript

https://share.descript.com/view/YXR22oNE0MS 

Summary

Have you ever felt like you don't belong or questioned your own abilities, despite evidence of your success?

Coined in the 1970s, Imposter Syndrome impacts countless individuals.

In this episode, Navigating Imposter Phenomenon - Empowering Strategies for Salary Negotiations," we explore the reality of Imposter Syndrome or Imposter Phenomenon and dive deeper into why individuals from diverse backgrounds, such as racial minorities, lower socioeconomic classes, and non-native English speakers, often struggle with feelings of being imposters. 

Finally, we provide actionable strategies for listeners to identify and mitigate imposter thoughts. Let's dive in. 

 

Get the FREE step-by-step guide on Salary Negotiations here:

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/fightforyourworth 

 

Transcript

https://share.descript.com/view/MoreS1pSDxd 

 

Podcast Summary

Welcome to "Salary Negotiations Made Simple." In today's episode, we're diving into the topic of negotiation power and how it affects salary discussions. We'll explore why having power in negotiations is important and why some people struggle with feeling powerless. But don't worry, we've got practical solutions to help you overcome those challenges.

Negotiation power is all about being able to influence decisions and shape outcomes in your favor during salary negotiations. It's crucial for advocating for your worth and getting the best possible agreement.

However, many individuals often feel they have low power when negotiating their salary, which can hinder their success. We've identified three common reasons for this: lack of confidence, fear of rejection, and being introverted.

We have strategies to help you overcome these challenges and regain your power in negotiations. Whether it's boosting your confidence, conquering the fear of rejection, or leveraging your introverted strengths, we'll guide you through it all!

 

Let's dive in. 

Links Mentioned

Salary research

https://h1bdata.info/ 

Free Salary Negotiations Training

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/fightforyourworth 

 

Transcript

 

Power_in_Salary_Negotiations_Session_mixdown.mp3

Transcript

Hello I'm your host, Dorothy Mashburn, and welcome to salary negotiations made simple. Here I show you how negotiating does not have to be overwhelming. I break the entire process of negotiating into easy to learn steps that you can use in any salary negotiation situation. Whether you're starting a new job. Or preparing to ask for a raise.

Expect to receive practical, actionable strategies that are based on real life experiences. I'll be sharing tips that have been proven to work where professionals like you have netted $10,000 to $40,000 more in compensation. It's payment for the skills you already, so you need to know how to ask for payment for those skills.

Are you ready to learn how to boost your earnings?

 In today's episode, we are going to cover power in negotiation. Why power is necessary to influence the outcome of a negotiation, why some negotiators suffer from low power syndrome, and what to do about it.

Power negotiation refers to the ability to influence decisions, shape outcomes. And assert one's needs and interests, understanding and harnessing power is critical because it enables you to advocate for your worth and secure favorable agreements.

However, many people experience a sense of low power during negotiations, which can actually hurt their ability to achieve their desired outcomes.

Today we'll explore three main reasons why people often feel they have low power. Those three reasons are lack of confidence, fear of rejection. And feeling undervalued because their intro. Started ready to get started. Let's dive in first. Confidence, or lack thereof. A lack of confidence can diminish your sense of power and hinder your ability to assert your needs.

 

So if you feel a lack of power because you lack confidence, what can you do? Let's explore some. Actionable steps to help you boost your confidence and therefore increase your negotiating power.

Strategy number one, identify limiting beliefs. Often a lack of confidence comes from self doubt and negative self talk. Start by becoming aware of this. Are you telling yourself that you do not deserve a higher salary? Are you thinking? Well, I'm not qualified enough. Once you identify these limiting beliefs, challenge them. Find evidence that proves your worth. Ask friends and family. Remember every single accomplishment or skill and the value you bring is a part of your worth. Replace those negative thoughts with positive. Affirmations, strategy.

#2 preparation. Yes, you will hear me say this over and over again, never weighing anything. The more prepared you are, the more confident you will feel. Take the time to research industry standards, salary ranges, and market trends. When you know you will feel powerful.

In fact, I have a great site. For you, for your rest. It's called H1 bdata info and I will link it in the show notes. This is a website that indexes the labor condition application disclosure data from the United States Department of Labor prior to filling out an H1B petition, companies have to disclose this LCA labor. Condition application that discloses what they're paying to certain salary ranges uses to your advantage. This is a fantastic data point to have in your tricks bag.

Strategy #3 focus on strengths and expertise. Recognize your unique strengths, skills, and expertise that set you apart in your field. In fact, take the time to write. Them all down. Fill up a whole page, focus on what you bring to the table, and then it becomes easier for you to project. Confidence and claim your power strategy for. Seek support and feedback. Sometimes lack of confidence can be overcome with the support and encouragement of mentors, trusted colleagues and friends. They can remind you of your strengths, offer insights, and share their own experiences. One of my favorite mentors of all time once told me, put on your game. And give them hell. This is my mantra before going into any salary negotiation, you will have to find one that works for you. But once you find it, you will use it and become unstoppable. One way to feel confident when you're talking to your manager or whoever else you're negotiating with is relying on nonverbal cues. Use nonverbal cues, such as nodding, maintaining eye contact, and open body language to convey attentiveness and interest. When you open up to someone, this reduces your own cortisol levels. And increases your confidence. These cues in turn reassure the speaker that you are actively listening.

The next thing that reduces power in the negotiation is fear of rejection. Fear of rejection stems from the desire to be accepted and the fear of being deemed unworthy or inadequate. It can lead to hesitation, self doubt, and a compromised negotiating position. So let's fix that. 

Reframe rejection as redirection and we hear this all the time in popular psychology. Instead of viewing rejection as a personal failure, see it as an opportunity to redirect yourself to better options. Just understand every single one of us have been rejected. In some way or another, it often opens doors to new and more suitable opportunities by reframing rejection as redirection. You can get into a positive mindset and approach negotiations with Resilience strategy number.

o prepare for different outcomes, fear of rejection stems from the unknown. So prepare yourself for various outcomes. 

Create a Plan B and even a plan C. For example, if you want a higher base salary, prepare for what? If they say no, what else can I be ready?

With could I ask for a gym allowance? Could I ask for more PTO, whatever those alternatives are? If you have those in mind, you will not feel as. Updated knowing you have other options can reduce the fear of rejection and empower you to negotiate more assertively. Remember, the goal is to find a mutually beneficial agreement, so if one offer doesn't work out, there are always other areas you can explore. 

Strategy #3 practice desensitization. So what do I mean by that? Just like any fear, the fear of rejection can be mitigated by small exposures. Start by seeking out small opportunities for rejection with people you're familiar with. If you are practicing your negotiation, pitch with a friend, have them counter.

Every single point you make with a valid counterpoint, as you experience and accept rejection in these low stakes situation with a friend or a family member. You will not fear the actual negotiation as much. You will be more resilient and better equipped to handle it in high stakes negotiations. Focus on the process, not just the outcome. Oftentimes, the fear of rejection intensifies when we fixate solely on the end result. Instead, embrace the opportunity to articulate your value, engage in a meaningful conversation, and learn from the experience. Say to yourself, even if I don't win this, this experience is practiced for the next time.

The third thing that reduces power for people is as an introvert, you are undervalued. While introverts have a quieter presence, their skills and contributions are extremely valuable in the workplace. There are strategies to help introverts reclaim their power and advocate for their true worth.

First, lean into your string. Introverts possess valuable qualities that can be very advantageous in salary negotiations. These include listening skills, thoughtful analysis, and the ability to use power of silence to get more in a negotiation, recognize and appreciate these strengths as they enable you to approach negotiations with a very strategic mindset.

Strategy #2 prepare and rehearse. As an introvert, you may find comfort in extreme preparation, but don't. Could be wrong. I preach preparation to every single person. Use preparation to your advantage by dedicating time to research and rehearse your negotiation points. Anticipate objections, craft compelling arguments, and practice your value proposition. The more prepared you are, the more you will know your pitch by heart and the more confident you.

Strategy #3. Use active listening skills to your advantage. Introverts are excellent at active listening, which involves truly hearing the other party's perspective. This is a huge superpower on your site. During negotiations, actively listen to the needs and concerns of your manager or the person you're negotiating with this approach. Allows you to tailor your responses and propose mutually beneficial solutions.

Demonstrate that you genuinely understand and value their viewpoint. You can foster a positive and collaborative negotiation enviro. Let's dive into how, as an introvert, you can excel at active listening.

For example, you could be paraphrasing. Just to clarify, you're emphasizing the importance of developing A robust marketing strategy to target our key demographic. Did I capture your message another way you can show? Active listening is reflecting feelings. I can see that you're excited about the potential of the new product launch and the growth opportunities it may bring. This is very contagious. You can also ask clarifying questions. Can you elaborate on the challenges you mentioned in terms of streamlining processes? I'd like to better understand the areas that require improvement. Active listening involves using these techniques to the specific context and conversation. This provides engaging in a meaningful and productive dialogue which will help you gain confidence and power in any salary negotiations. Does that make sense?

 Strategy #4. Usually I don't recommend negotiating through e-mail, but if you have crippling anxiety or any other anxiety that's causing you to have a challenge with a discussion, you can always leverage written communication. Use this to your advantage by following up with a well crafted e-mail or a detailed summary. It doesn't have to be formal, it's just a written record which allows you to reinforce your key points, clarify any misunderstandings, and express your gratitude for the opportunity to. Pushing

strategy, #5 seeks support from an advocate. I call this shadow negotiation. Sometimes introverted individuals may feel a trusted colleague, mentor, or friend who can act as an advocate for your value. If they're on the executive team, that's even better. They can help validate your contributions, offer insights, and provide an external perspective. In water cooler conversations or even at lunch with their colleague, having someone on your side can boost your confidence and ensure that your value is accurately represent.

Remember, being introverted is not a weakness. You have an extreme superpower and you should be able to unleash that and gather immense value from the negotiating table. 

There you have it, my friends. All about power in negotiation. Why power is necessary to influence the outcomes of a negotiation. Why some negotiators suffer from low power syndrome and what to do about it?

Be sure to check out my free audio training on how to negotiate for your worth at www.dorothymashburn.com/fight for your worth. 

Thank you and bye for now.

Salary Negotiations Made Simple - Career and Life Lessons with Cheryl Hayes - On Courage, Confidence and Curiosity

We have a special guest Cheryl Hayes. Cheryl is an executive director at a large multi-national medical device company called Stryker Corporation. She manages a book of business close to $2B in revenue. She is a colleague and a friend. And more importantly she has successfully navigated some tricky situations in traditionally male dominated industries. 

I have been so impressed with Cheryl’s expertise in negotiations, her focus on courage and her willingness to mentor new talent. We sat down to chat with her to get a dose of her knowledge and and the lessons she has learned on her journey as a mother rejoining the workforce, an executive and a negotiator. 

We talk about:

• Navigating in traditionally male dominated industries
• Building her courage muscle
• And using curiosity to build confidence

Let’s have a listen.

 

Links:

Refereced in the podcast; Learn to negotiate your salary - Free training here

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/fightforyourworth

 

Script to negotiate a pay raise at your current job - Free here

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/askforaraise 

 

Transcript

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

I'm your host, Dorothy Mashburn, and Welcome to Salary Negotiations Made Simple, I show you How negotiating does not have to be. For one, may I break the entire process of negotiating into easy to learn steps that you can use in any salary negotiation situation. Whether you're starting a new job or preparing to ask for a raise. Expect to receive practical, actionable strategies that are based on real life experiences. I'll be sharing tips that have been proven to work where professionals like you have netted anywhere from $5000 to $40,000 more in compensation. It's payment for the skills you bring, so you need to know how to ask for payment for those skills. Are you ready to learn how to boost your earnings? Let's dive in. In today's episode, career lessons from an expert, we have a special guest, Cheryl Hayes. Cheryl is an executive director at a large multinational medical device company called Stryker Corporation. She manages a book of business close to $2 billion in revenue. She's a colleague and a friend, and more importantly, she has successfully Navigated some tricky situations in traditionally male dominated industries, and I have been so impressed with Cheryl's expertise and negotiations, her focus on courage and her willingness to mentor new talent. We sat down to chat with her to get a dose of our knowledge and the lessons she has learned on her journey as a mother rejoining the workforce and executive and the negotiation. Let's have a listen. Hi, Cheryl, how are you today?

Cheryl Hayes

Hi, Dorothy, how are you? Happy to be.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

Great to have you. Can we get a quick introduction about you, who's Cheryl and a little bit about your story.

Cheryl Hayes

I am the director of procurement at Striker School Device company, but my whole career the last 20 plus years has been in supply chain worked at EMC and Dell and Siemens and Applied Materials. So large multinational companies and women in technology. So have that own share of challenges as you. I guess and love what I. I’m happy to help here and talk about what we're going to talk about today.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

We're talking a lot about confidence, feeling our way in our careers through a male dominated world. The Dell and EMC very tech companies tell us how you felt. What was your first impression when you got in and how you navigated just one or two stories about about that experience?

Cheryl Hayes

I came into EMCC fresh off. Staying home, raising children and it was quite a culture. Shock for me, I didn't. Know anything about technology I didn't even know how to do a PowerPoint presentation. One thing about AMC, I always say it's like being raised by the nuns working there, right? So they were very sick. I was very, very fortunate. Because we had what was called EMC University, you could take a class in anything that you wanted to know about. You could take a class and I had to learn how to do Excel and pivot tables right? I have to learn how to do. A PowerPoint you could take business acumen. When I started EMC, they were smaller. They didn't have the breadth of products that they had, but they would have, they would launch new products and then they would have after work one and a. Half hours or. So of, you know, learning about the new product. It was just the natural curiosity that I have and I wanted to learn all of this stuff and I I think I have it on my resume. During my 16 years there, I took. 100 and. 11 classes some. Of them were mandated, particularly as I rose up in the ranks at at director level. We had to do a lot of three 60s and personality type tests and learning how to manage groups and in certain classes that we had to. Take and I also had taken a kind of four day MBA program that not something you could just sign up for. It's kind of nominated for that. Again, it's just that that natural curiosity and wanting to learn and wanting to be better, doing what I did have to learn, particularly being a woman in a company that was known for being Boys Club is, you know, you have to have your voice. Right. And you have to. You ask for what you want and. Ask for what? You need and I think that. Became much more prevalent the higher up I went in that company, but again, I was very fortunate to to be part of that, no.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

What was the trigger to say that I've got to ask and kind of advocate for myself?

Cheryl Hayes

Yeah, I have a great story about that. So I have this really nice boss who. Really admired what I did and was. Really depended on. So I went in for. A review and he gave me a very good review as a top review that you could get. And I had with me in. A folder, the job description of the job Rep for the next level. It was a senior. Is still an individual contributor, but was at the. Senior level. And so he gave me my review. Glowing review. So happy to have me. On his team and that was it. And I said, well, how come you didn't promote me? I I really thought I. Was going to get promoted and. He said. I just didn't think about it. And I said. Well, here's the job description for the. Senior level and there was something in. There about doing reverse auctions and I. Said. And I'm the only. One in the group. That has done reverse auctions. So I'm doing all of these things and I. Don't have the. Title and I'm not getting paid for. It paid for it and he said. I I don't have a good answer for you, can you? Give me a. Couple of days and I learned a very valuable lesson. Then, if you don't ask. Or if you don't let your manager know. And other people. What your aspirations are or you know what you want to do? Or what you. Need if you don't ask, you don't get. You know it's. Going to be the same for your. Salary negotiations, right? You don't ask, you're not going. To get as humans who wired for fear and maybe women more so, particularly in business and trying to get past that and have that confidence which you will have over time, you know when you're new in a role or you're new in. A company you want to be. Like so, you're not going to take as many chances or you. You may not say as much as you may want to say, or you may not. Want to stand out like? I really think maybe we should do. It this way or this? Might be a. Better idea because you just kind of want to. Go with the flow and. You want to be like. You know, it's getting past that fear. Help get you where you want. To go, that's.

Speaker

Courage I.

Cheryl Hayes

Guess is what we're. Talking about here is learn. There's a learned behavior too, but courage is is a learned behavior. It's not something that people have more. Of than others. It's something that can be learned and it's being comfortable with the uncomfortable. And it takes some time. And maybe you start small, you know. I don't like. I don't drink coffee, so maybe for some reason for health reasons I need to start drinking coffee, right? And I'm really nervous about drinking.

Speaker

That's not.

Cheryl Hayes

Coffee and I don't like it and I'm afraid it might do something to me, but maybe and I'm using. It as an example. Maybe I just have a half a cup, you know? And then eventually, you know, you, you can move on. And eventually, oh, I can. Have a cup of coffee. Not a problem, right? So yeah. Chunking things up and starting small to get past that. Fear and. Develop more courage.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

That's a really good point that we are wired for fear and women more so. Why do you think that is they? Why do we want to be liked so much worries?

Cheryl Hayes

Pleasers, right. You know where mothers were were you know, maternal, you know. And where you know it's new for women. To the executives in the workforce, right, we we haven't been that. We've been what administrative? Yeah, and. And that's what we're best at. And that's what we know. And you know, there's always been a bias, I have to say. I have noticed it's higher in technology than it is in medical. I think there's more of an even split and particularly it's strike, are they pretty good? But I think it's getting better. You know, I've seen that evolution and I and I hate the disparity. It's, you know, them versus US. And we're all together to be saying we're all the. Same rather than. Well, she's a woman, so she's gonna do this. So he's, you know, I just I I want us to get to the gender neutral, right, that we it doesn't matter if you're a male or female. In that job. Whoever does the best job will win.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

Right, right. But there is an awareness that we bring a huge counter perspective. To anything we do. Yeah, let me dig a little bit deeper on when you moved from trade or or didn't think about asking for a promotion ahead of time and then you made the transition to asking what was that that in between your life for you? How did you practice? How did you build up your confidence?

Cheryl Hayes

I'm very good at networking so.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

Yeah, you are.

Cheryl Hayes

What I did was. So what I did was.

Speaker

And that's.

Cheryl Hayes

You know, trying to meet with people that you don't know or people that are at a higher level or an executive level. And so I did a lot of networking both and I'm still to this day internally and externally. People want to help. Generally I find people want to help. I I love to hear. People's stories when you approach it. I I need your. Help or I gotta ask you something. Or I'd love your opinion on the. People are pretty open to that. I read some books again, I took some classes at the MC, you know, and all of that just kind of helped. I mean at the end. Of the. Day it's on you and. You just kind of have to move those boulders out. Of the way. Realize that, yeah, you're gonna you're. Going to fail sometimes you're going to be. A whole lot of yourself. Sometimes you can ask. Us something that you know they going to think you're crazy. They're just gonna. Say flat out. Why did you even? Ask for that right? So you know, and that takes a little. Getting over right? Because you make a big blunder or you make you know, a mistake we've all made them all. Make 10 mistakes a day. I mean, we all make them right? Realizing that we're all human and and. I think we tend to. Put folks that we think very highly of up here and you know, we're kind. Of here and yeah. Well, saying you know, so I think it's just a behavior that you have to instill in yourself and you have to. Work at it. We have imposter syndrome. Right.

Speaker

MMM.

Cheryl Hayes

I'm really not that good and it's like, and sometimes even today, as many years as I've had in supply chain and I feel pretty confident about what I. Know and what I can do?

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

You know.

Cheryl Hayes

The other days I'm like. I'm not that good. I'm like, no, no, I have to talk myself out. Of it, yes you are, you know. You know and and. Because you do have those moments where human.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

Impostor syndrome comes up so many times in any negotiation because you're doubting yourself. Thing that was really resonated. Someone said to me was if you have impostor syndrome, that means. You're learning and. Because the more you learn the, the more you realize how little you know.

Cheryl Hayes

Oh, that's.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

So yeah, so it's it's a really cool way of looking at it to say to yourself, well, that means I'm getting. Smarter or a? Bigger expert than the thing I do.

Cheryl Hayes

That's wonderful. It's changing that narrative that that's a wonderful way to. Look at it, yeah. I think you just saved a lot.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

Wondering just.

Cheryl Hayes

Of people Dorothy right there.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

You said something about curiosity. I wonder if that helped you with your network. Tell us about young. Cheryl, how did you?

Speaker

How did you get?

Cheryl Hayes

I love hearing people stories. I think you know, at striker, obviously we have our strengths finders, right?

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

Yes, the Galaxy.

Cheryl Hayes

And so my number one is individualization. So, and it's a good one for negotiation too, because you know, I do want to hear your story. I want to hear you your. Side, you know negotiations. They're not going to tell me they're weak. Spot, right? I have to figure. It out and I have to. Ask some questions. And I have to probe. You kind of figure out. What's really bothering them and then that's how you can help and you can negotiate, right? And come. Once Applier, he was just so afraid he was small supplier that we were. Going to move the product. That's what we've. Talked about it, but nobody has the appetite. To I'll give you a 2. Year PO, he goes all right and then. I got a cost reduction right. So that's what he was looking for, that's what. He was afraid of. Right, so when you? When you probe or. You ask those. Questions I do like to hear people's stories because that's how you learn, right? Older person, just like we're doing here, you know? And not everything. 'S gonna apply. And not everything's gonna gel with you. But this. Is why we do what we do. You know, we tell these stories and maybe that will help somebody. And so I'm always curious.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

Right.

Cheryl Hayes

I always have been, you know, even as a young child.

Speaker

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Cheryl Hayes

So you know, I love to travel. I like to learn about. New things I love. History for me, it's just fascinating. Probably more part of my personality.

Speaker

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

You mentioned individualization. So for our listeners, could you tell us what that strength within Gallup means?

Cheryl Hayes

So basically it's not a one sided conversation. So it means you, you listen, I've had vendors say this to me that you know you listen and you ask very thought provoking questions. So that's really what? That means it's like, yeah. You want to. Hear the other person's point of view. And not just your own. And you're not closing. It out like you're open to it.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

Yeah, yeah. So that means that any person you talk to, you give them individual attention perhaps. Every conversation is unique.

Cheryl Hayes

Yeah, because everybody's different. And you can embrace that you. I can embrace that. That differentness right. You know that uniqueness to somebody else. And and I can understand it. It comes a little bit with. Empathy as well? I remember our boss telling us, and I just want to let you know Cheryl Sourcing Group score is really low on empathy. And I said, well, it was my #9 or 10. So I said I'll take the hit for the whole team. But you know, individualization has a a component, nothing in it.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

There you go. So I'm wondering, you know, if we if we pivot to salary negotiations. And you use that individualization technique. How would that benefit you like listening or?

Cheryl Hayes

Yeah, that's a great question. I think as they go. Through the role and they explain the role what? The role is. Right. What you're going to be. Doing how many? People are you? Going to have working for you, you. Know is it global? So that means you're going to be working. A bunch of different. You know, there's a lot of travel. You have to figure out what? Worth to you and then. And you can use. That to negotiate. OK, well, you know, especially after you've done some market research or what? You know what you think you should be paid. This is what I think that job is worth to me based on the information that you've told me, you can use that do you've asked your questions and learned about the role as much as you can, and it's hard in an hour. To do to know everything right? But what you're gathering what that role is, what? The value that you bring. So this is what you're saying you need. This is how the value I bring. In that role, I. Could say things like I traveled my whole life. Role requires a lot of travel. I don't get yet why? I don't know why. But I don't you know, so.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

Yeah, that's a good value.

Cheryl Hayes

You know I don't. Get sick. Hardly ever. I should knock on my head here, but hardly ever. So it makes me reliable. You know, I have very high. Employee survey scores. I mean, there's certain things that I bring to. The table because I'm more. Lots of years of experience I. Bring that mentoring piece, too so you you can establish your value to the position. What you believe that position is? Worth you? Ask for that. I don't ever come out with a. Number when I'm negotiating. I want them to tell me the range because I want to know if they're even the right range and whatever number. They come up with. There's probably at least 10% more that's available and you just. Have to ask for it now I have asked. Over asked and I've lost. Help on some opportunities because. I've ever asked have to you. Know be reasonable, but there's other things maybe could ask for stock, for example. So no additional stock or that type of thing, so. Yeah, you should look. At negotiation as an entire package with your salary doc, your bonus and then additional parts that you may get or additional. Benefits that you may get because it's all-encompassing and I've had people ask for additional time, vacation and things like that. Always ask for what you. Feel you deserve. To get them to give you the number. First, because it. Was will weaken your negotiation. If you give them a number there, there have been cases where I've had to spit out a number and I. It's a gamble, right? And I think, like I said, I've lost a couple of opportunities because the number I said is too high.

Speaker

Right.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

Well, yeah, we've done an episode on that actually to how to create a average number. Yeah, and if.

Cheryl Hayes

You throw out a number, you can say, look, you know, and generally what I'll do is look, I'm looking for the entire package, which includes stock bonus and salary. And this is the kind of area I want to be in. So how can you get there and then? Then you can get them to talk about I mean. Piece they they tend to be pretty much open with that so.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

Yep, Yep.

Cheryl Hayes

This is your bonus. And then the salary they play around with. Because they want to get. As cheap as they. Yes, you wanna get you wanna get as much as you. Can cause. We all know how it works, right? Two 3% raises, that's. All you're gonna get, right? So unless you. Plan on moving around all. The time which is hard. I don't have so much of an appetite for it as. Maybe some someone earlier in. Their career does because it's really hard starting over. You constantly prove yourself. You have to develop relationships. Have to learn a lot. More for me again I have that. Natural curiosity, I like to. Learn it's not that easy because you have to navigate. I have to get people I. Started remote as striker. I didn't even. Know my team. You know, so.

Speaker

It was really.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

And during the pandemic, if I remember.

Cheryl Hayes

Yeah, yeah, it started in.

Speaker

Right.

Cheryl Hayes

March 2020. Yeah. So you know, that's that's hard. You know, developing that trust over time.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

So there is a cost you're saying right to moving around. So you've got to factor that into, yeah.

Cheryl Hayes

Yes, because we can all make more money going somewhere else.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

You know once.

Cheryl Hayes

You've been in A roll. For a while. You know 2 or 3% raises, that's not. Market rate, yeah. I think that's a lot trickier because companies just don't have the appetite for that. They can't be doing that for everybody. I mean, I found out I was hiring a girl in California. And I had asked for her salary information and the recruiter by accident sent me one of my peers, the guy, his information, who had just been promoted to director. I was director two years before him he made. More money than me.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

Gender pay gap.

Cheryl Hayes

Is when I was furious and there was nothing I could do like I. Couldn't I couldn't. Say anything because I didn't want to get the recruiter and. You know, this happened years ago, I. Looked back at it and I thought.

Speaker

I probably should.

Cheryl Hayes

Have said something, but again, I didn't and. There was a there was a class action lawsuit. With Dell, that they weren't paying female. Directors California as much. And so it it stung. It really stung. And I was so far under the curve. Now there was one. Year and this is the. The first time that they had ever done that, they redid the salaries, so they they brought them back up to market rate and gave me 12%. And it wasn't during raise time. So more level set me but. That you have to. Make choices so you have to decide. Is the money. What's important to me that I'm going to have to leave even if I like my. If I'm going to make more money. To try to get more out of a company internally, that's really tricky and to be honest.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

It's good to have clarity and transparency, right, because there are some battles that you can fight and win. And some you. May not be. Able to and then you have to use a different strategy.

Speaker

Right.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

So one of the things that we started off with is confidence and anxiety over asking. So I'm wondering, could you perhaps tie your curiosity and how that helped you with confidence when you said that? I was thinking perhaps because you come at it from asking questions you don't feel like you're engaging in this kind of nebulous. Battle with someone.

Cheryl Hayes

Yeah, right. The more you, the more you know, the more confident you feel, right? So we ask those questions and. You or you learn about some. You can talk to it or the more that you you develop that confidence. I know something about this or I could use this tactic, you know, just what we're doing here. You know, hopefully we'll help somebody when they're trying to negotiate a salary. Right. Trying to negotiate something that they need for themselves. Right. And it's going to. Be uncomfortable. I mean again, because we're wired. For fear and it's just. It's easier to do nothing, but if you do nothing, the reward is nothing. Again, using that curiosity, learning, asking questions, reading. I read a lot too. Yeah, you know and. Again, I was telling you I like to look at. A lot of short. Podcasts and a lot of short. I like to read a lot.

Speaker

Of little short little.

Cheryl Hayes

Articles on LinkedIn or whatever, and so you get some. Tidbits all the time because, well, busy.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

I think that's.

Cheryl Hayes

What's helped me the. Most just to know that confidence.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

And I love that you're sharing your experience with us because trying to fast track, right? So whatever we've learned over like the last 20 years or we can put it in a package and hand it to someone so they can. They can jump start. So I like the attention you brought to us on curiosity because. It seems like. If you're curious, maybe you can get over your fears.

Cheryl Hayes

Yeah, I think that's a good way to. Look at it again. It's constantly have to work on and talk. Yourself out of but. It's a learned behavior and and that's the the point I want to drive home. You know, it's a learned behavior and it can. Be learned, yes.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

You've set us up really well, Cheryl. Today we should be thinking about curiosity. This is the first in a long series nightly. Be digging deeper into this concept of curiosity and negotiations.

Cheryl Hayes

Love it and thank you for having me, Dorothy.

Host - Dorothy Mashburn

Thank you. You take care. Bye bye. There you have it, my friends. Someone who is in the arena daily, her focus on courage, curiosity and the road to standing. Up for your worth. I hope you take a moment to let her story sink in and take pieces of it to apply to your situation. Whatever stage you might be at, remember that courage and curiosity are learned behaviors. So go ahead, give them a try. Start small. And then accelerate from there. Alright, my friends, signing off for today. Bye for now.

Summary

Get ready to learn how to boost your earnings and advocate for yourself in salary negotiations with these simple and practical tips! Hosted by expert negotiator Dorothy Mashburn, this episode breaks down the anxiety and self-doubt that often gets in the way of getting paid what you deserve. 

Discover how childhood conditioning and social norms can make you forget your worth and how to shift your mindset to speak up for fair compensation.

With real-life examples and proven strategies, you'll be empowered to take charge of your salary negotiations and net anywhere from $5000 to $40,000 more in compensation.

Don't let fear of loss prevent you from advocating for yourself - tune in and learn how to negotiate with confidence!

FREE Salary Negotiations Training:

With my free salary negotiations training, you'll learn all the tips and tricks you need to confidently ask for the salary you deserve. And the best part? You can listen to it anytime, anywhere - whether you're on a walk, doing your daily exercises, or whipping up a delicious meal in the kitchen. Get it now!

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/fightforyourworth 

 

Transcript

Hello I'm your host, Dorothy, and welcome to salary negotiations made simple. I show you how negotiating does not have to be overwhelming. I break the entire process of negotiating into easy to learn steps that you can use in any salary negotiation situation. Whether you're starting a new job. Or preparing to ask for a raise.

Expect to receive practical, actionable strategies that are based on real life experiences. I'll be sharing tips that have been proven to work where professionals like you have netted anywhere from $5000 to $40,000 more in compensation. It's payment for the skills you already bring, so you need to know how to ask for payment for those skills. Are you ready to learn how to boost your earnings? Let's dive in.

In today's episode, we'll explore when negotiating against ourselves as common, how our anxiety can trick us, what is our common response when given and dual responsibilities in a job. Without any entropy and what to do when faced with a situation like that? Level 28 I was promoted to associate. I was thrilled. I announced it to my mom and dad back in India. My friends, even the people in my insanity exercise class. It meant more responsibilities, managing 2 people and in my mind was a vote of confidence that I was awesome.

The promotion did not come with a pay raise and I didn't care. Sure, more responsibility meant that many, many good things are coming in the future, right?

About six months into the role. 

As I took stock of the long hours, the constant troubleshooting with my team and being accountable to tough questions in the boardroom, I quickly realized what I had signed up for that I had nearly doubled my work. Every day was mostly thanks. And I was nowhere close to getting anything for it, and I wasn't feeling awesome anymore.

Yet I still felt like I was lucky to have this opportunity and did not want to appear ungrateful. I also worried that I might come across as pushy or entitled, and I spent hours thinking about whether or not to ask for a raise and how to ask for it. I revisited the idea several times. Weighing the pros and cons making checklists. On any given Sunday night, I would finally decide that I will ask for a raise. I knew that I deserved to be paid fairly for the work, and I felt confident that I had a good case. I was ready. But then on Monday morning, as I walked into the office, my self doubt and anxiety kicked in my mind started racing with all the reasons why I shouldn't ask for more money. I thought about all the other people who might be better qualified for the job and might be willing to do it for less money. I convinced myself how lucky I was to have this job in the first place. And how ungrateful it would seem to ask for more. By the time I sat down at my desk, I had talked myself out of asking for a raise. Instead of making my case, I negotiated against myself. Looking back on that experience, I realized that I had let anxiety, fear and self doubt get in the way of advocating for myself. I did not even give my manager a chance to say no. If you can relate to the situation then you know. What I'm talking about? So let's dive in as to what really happened. When you're anxious, you're ready to rid yourself of the uncomfortable feelings of anxiety. Am I? Right.

So let us figure out what is happening behind the scenes in our brain. R

esearch has shown that most people prefer to choose an option with a known outcome rather than taking one with unknown risks. This phenomenon is called the Ellsberg paradox. So in my case I knew what was the outcome of doing nothing. Just more work, but I didn't know the outcome of. If I raised my hand and asked for.

The amygdala is thought to be responsible for this. It is highly sensitive to risk and the fear of loss prevents us from making a decision in spite of all the evidence. 

The truth is I would be better off if I asked and the probability was low of my employer taking away the added responsibilities. 

But as my story went, I never found out because I never even asked. I was guaranteed to miss. 

Social norms and childhood education are also working against us. As we are growing up, it is hammered into us. That hard work and taking on more responsibilities is the key to success and recognition from a young age. We are taught to strive for good grades, participate in extracurricular activities, and take on leadership roles as we progress into our professional careers. This mindset carries over. And we continue to equate more responsibilities with more value and worth. Unfortunately, this conditioning can work against us when it comes to salaries. We may be so grateful for the opportunity to take on more responsibilities that we forget to advocate for ourselves. And our worth.

We may also assume that our bosses will recognize and reward us for our hard work without us having to ask for it. Most bosses are so busy putting our day-to-day fires they may not even realize that we are taking on additional responsibilities. We have to make it known to them it's so important to shift our mindset and recognize that taking on more responsibilities does not guarantee recognition or a pay raise. So what that means is you have to speak up and not sacrifice fair compensation.

So what can you do when you have an amygdala? On hyperdrive, throwing out fight flight or free signals, or when your social conditioning is sending you mixed signals.

First normalize the situation. Say to yourself, fear is. Remind yourself that asking for what you're worth is not only reasonable, but it's also necessary. You're not doing anything wrong by advocating for yourself, and you're not asking for anything beyond what you're entitled to. Make a list of the worst things that can happen, and then add a probability column, one being the most. Unlikely, and three being the most likely. Just doing this exercise is going to help you get through the fight, flight or freeze response that the amygdala has started in your brain. 3rd reframe from a loss mindset to a gain mindset. And what does that look like? A loss oriented mindset may lead someone to fear negotiating for a higher salary because you're afraid of being rejected or losing the job altogether. If the same person reframes that mindset to a gain oriented one, you start to focus on the benefits of negotiating for a higher salary, such as. Being compensated fairly, having more financial freedom and feeling more valued by your employer.

In summary, as most negotiation experts would agree, the. Biggest person you have to negotiate with is yourself. You have to convince yourself that the value you bring is worth more than what you're currently getting, that your market research is solid, and that varying from these two top points is your self doubt. Fear and anxiety speaking. None of it is based on reality. But it is the reality of our professional lives that we will continue to get responsibilities as a token of our employers, confidence in our abilities. So what should we do? I'm not saying more responsibility is a bad thing. I'm saying you need the. I got more responsibilities and in lieu of that, I also got this because I. Asked for it.

Let's now explore what you can do when you do get new job responsibilities. What are those options you can ask for first? No brainer. Simply ask for a pay raise if that's out of the question, ask for a sign on bonus. I once negotiated $15,000 in sign on bonus because there was no more. Budget left in the base salary bucket in the financials. Either way, document the added tasks you're taking on so when the time is right, maybe it's budget time.

Maybe it's performance review time. So when the time is right to ask for a promotion or pay raise, you can clearly articulate how these extra responsibilities that you took on had tangible benefits for the organization. Because remember, we are always playing the long game in a salary negotiation. Another option is to ask your manager to support you in undertaking further development or studies so you can fulfill your new responsibilities properly. This could be something like a project management certification, or 6 Sigma or a year of LinkedIn learning.

I have a client. Who recognize that her company did not have room in the budget to offer a significant pay raise, but they had not yet used up their education budget, so she was able to negotiate a membership at a premium executive network as part of that compensation that membership is valued at over $10,000 annually. 

What do I want you to take away from this? The thing to remember is we as humans have a tendency to negotiate against ourselves when we face a fight, flight or free situation. The key is to remember, do not negotiate against yourself. 

When you do face a situation where you have so much anxiety, take a moment and write down what is the worst thing that can possibly happen. If you do raise your hand and ask for more. Chances are that you have heightened the risk in that negotiation. So what did we cover today? We talked about how we tend to negotiate against ourselves when facing unknown situations. We also talked about how it is so common for employers to offer additional responsibilities without additional pay and what to do when faced. The situation like. That most of us are going to be in that situation because employers.

Do want to.

See how well you perform when provided additional responsibilities. So there you have it, my friends. Please do not negotiate against yourself and think about what potential creative solutions you can come up with to find and win win solution. With your employer.

 

Make sure and check out the free salary negotiations training on my website dorothymashburn.com/fight for your worth. This is an audio training that you can listen to when you are going on a walk, doing your exercises, or simply cooking in the kitchen. I'll break down all of the different things you need to do. In order to determine your worth and confidently ask for the salary to match that worth.

That's all for today. 

 

Thank you for listening and bye for now.

 

 

How to Negotiate Your Salary Even When You're Intimidated by Your Counterpart

Links

Impact of Deep Breathing Peer Reviewed Study: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/psyp.13091 

Free Audio Training on How to Negotiate your Salary 

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/fightforyourworth 

 

Script to use when negotiating with someone when they may be in the Dominant category of communicators - Scroll to the bottom of this blogpost

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/post/howtonegotiateyoursalaryconfidence 

 

Transcript

Hi I'm your host, Dorothy Mashburn, and welcome to salary negotiations made simple. Here I show you how negotiating does not have to be overwhelming. I break the entire process of negotiating into easy to learn steps that you can use in any salary negotiation situation.

 

Whether you're starting a new job. Or preparing to ask for a raise. Expect to receive practical, actionable strategies that are based on real life experiences. I'll be sharing tips that have been proven to work where professionals like you have netted anywhere from $5000 to $40,000 more in compensation. Its payment for the skills you bring, so you need to know how to ask for payment.

Those skills don't settle for less. Are you ready to learn how to boost your earnings? Let's dive in. Welcome to today's episode how to negotiate with someone when they intimidate us.

In today's episode, we are going to cover how to negotiate with somebody when they intimidate us. Normalize impostor syndrome, a foolproof formula on how to negotiate with someone who is in that intimidation category. While deep breathing helps us negotiate better and an actual script to use when negotiating with your counterpart. Last week we discussed the disk framework, a simple tool for understanding personality and communication types.

Before we begin, I want you to understand that the disk framework is just one tool. It provides a broad awareness of your counterparts behavior style, not exactly a prescriptive tool. But it gives you some general brush strokes that allows you to customize the message so that your counterpart receives it loudly. There are lots of other powerful frameworks out there for sure. Clifton strengths by the Gallup organization is a powerful one that strengths assessment is 34 talent themes and they're categorized into four different domains. They're called strategic thinking, execution, influence, and relationship building.

Before I begin, the point that I'm trying to make is there are lots of different frameworks that are very effective in understanding how people receive information and what type of information appeals best to a particular communication or personality style. The thing I want you to take away from this is user framework that is intuitive to you. For this podcast episode today we are going to focus on the disc because it is easy enough to follow and it allows you to quickly adapt your message while you're talking to the person because it's just four different areas.

Once you get comfortable with negotiations, understanding your counterpart and analyzing what resonates best. You can start diving deeper even within these various frameworks. Today, we'll dive deeper into just one particular personality or communication style, which is the dominant type, which is why we call this podcast how to negotiate with someone when they intimidate us. We call with the dominant type. You cannot persuade them with feelings or relationships. Instead, they're going to be focused on results. And achievements. And then as the conversation evolves, you introduce your willingness to find a win, win solution. You will report, you inject stories and then the relationship happens, but you have to talk to them in the language that works best with their personality type. For example, instead of saying I was a great marketer at my previous job, say I delivered a 13% increase in the first three months of sales because I launched the customer first campaign or I reduced cost by 24% by optimizing 5 plant networks into two.

A good way to Orient yourself on this type. Of a pitch. Is think about the personality of a well known figure like Simon Cowell or Oprah or Gordon Ramsay or Hillary Clinton. You can also pick someone in your immediate circle of friends, somebody who you believe is this particular dominant personality type, and then develop your message from there.

As you know, we don't like to make broad statements in this podcast. We want to give you actual examples. Let's assume you're applying for a project manager position and have received a job offer once you reviewed it, you believe that you deserve another $20,000 in base salary. L

et's also assume that you have determined that the hiring manager with whom you will negotiate is a dominant type of communicator. Somebody who talks about achievements, winning and results.

It is common for people in this communication style to be seen as uncaring, perhaps abrasive. It is possible that you are more intimidated to ask because of the intensity of this person. So here's what I want you. To do do not negotiate against yourself. Because you're intimidated. And I'm not saying it, this is for everyone. Some people will be just fine, but some might be more intimidated. It will be very tempting to justify out of what you think you're worth because you are more than ready to get rid of your anxiety. Don't do that.

Trust me, you have to get over that intimidation factor at some point during your career, so you might as well do it today. You can negotiate with someone who intimidates you. You can do it. Trust me, it has been done. I have done it. I have seen hundreds of people do it, so let's take it one step. At a time. We can absolutely formulate a step by step plan that works best with this type of a manager. First of all, because of their intensity, and because you might be intimidated, you've got to identify and acknowledge it. It is very normal to have impostor thoughts.

 Usually I don't like saying impostor syndrome because it is so overused in popular vocabulary, but it is perfectly normal to use impostor thoughts, because that will define the self doubt, nervousness, and questions that you might have once you start feeling anxiety over negotiations. When you feel those feelings, the butterflies in your stomach, the sweaty palms, whatever anxiety looks like for you, it is critical that you acknowledge that this might happen and what you do from here is you normalize it.

And how do you do that?

The way to do it is say something to yourself, such as this is an important negotiations. The stakes are high, so of course I'm nervous. And then instead of getting wrapped up in self doubt and asking yourself if you deserve. Or is this the right time to ask, or basically talking yourself out of it? Start planning your negotiation. Planning helps you get out of that vicious cycle of do I deserve it? Should I say something? Start thinking about your accomplishments and achievements, the things that you know are true of your skills and expertise. It is going to take some time and willpower to do this. Take the time you need, do some self reflection. It is worth it, I promise.

 Next, you're going to craft your pitch. We know a dominant communicator values, results and accomplishments, so your pitch should focus on your results and your achievements. Make sure you're providing actual numbers on how you successfully achieved something. Let's assume that you're interviewing for a project manager job. Instead of saying I delivered many successful projects, you will say I delivered project X3 weeks ahead of schedule and under budget by 30%. And because of that launch sales increased by 20% in the first three months of launch because we were able to take advantage of our competitors back order. You are providing specific metrics. And data on every single claim. Again, remember from the audio training, don't wing it whenever you get any sort of negotiation training from me, just expect that I will say that.

Don't wing it.

Practice and practice and practice everything that is worth anything is achieved because somebody practiced the heck out of it and so that is exactly what I want you to do.

I have provided you with this free script in the show notes. Make sure. And download it and then. You can of course tweak it to however you need it practicing your pitch.

This is especially critical if your communication style is not in the dominant category. This kind of a pitch might feel like bragging to you, so if you're somebody, say in the influential category, talking about just results and achievements might feel awkward, even daunting. So practice it several times.

Here I will borrow a little trick from our friends in cognitive behavior therapy. They use this technique called exposure therapy to help reduce phobias. It's called exposure therapy because the idea is that if you're nervous about something, the more you're exposed to it, the less that thing looks scary. So if someone is afraid of snakes. For example, first they look at a picture of a snake, then they watch one on TV, then they go to the zoo to look at that snake, then to the pet store. And maybe someday they will touch and. Pet the snake. You see where I'm going with it?

The more you're exposed to something, the less nerve racking it is.

 So This is why I ask you to practice your pitch to reduce any intimidation factor or impostor thoughts. Two days prior to your negotiations due and exposure therapy of of sorts.

First, you will practice your pitch while getting ready in the morning. Then perhaps in the living room, then in your backyard, then in front of your monitor in your office, and then finally in the interview room where you will do the negotiation. There are many benefits of this, the main one being you have taken away the fear of the unknown. You're less nervous because the environment and the message is familiar. No threat, no anxiety right before the negotiation.

 I want you to practice deep breathing. And here's something from neuropsychology that is very interesting. I want you to understand how deep breathing helps us. I will link the study in the show notes, but the gist is this. When you take deep breaths using your diaphragm, it increases the hormone in your body called nor adrenaline and keeps that hormone at a nice and easy level. At that level, the hormone keeps your focus and attention sharp, while also maintaining lowered anxiety levels. Think of it as a fertilizer for the brain. Too little, not so good too much is also not good. When you have this wonderful hormone at just the right level going around your body, your brain is in a wonderful zone where you have great focus and little to no anxiety.

See how this is the perfect internal zone to negotiate like a world class negotiator. On the day of the negotiation, take deep breaths. And here is exactly what I want you to. Do breathe in for five seconds and breathe out for 10 seconds. Make sure there are deep breaths where your diaphragm is engaged. If it's just your shoulders moving, then that's not the right way to do it. Try to fill your belly with air. Got it. OK, now repeat this deep breathing five times.

Always make sure that your out breath is longer than. Your in breath. OK, now we are all prepared to deliver our pitch.

When you're making your ask, keep it concise and to the point.

Here is a five step formula.

First, thank the hiring manager for their time. Explain again why you are so excited about the opportunity you like the focus on winning the impact the organization is making, et cetera. Reinforce how you can deliver results for the organization, such as deliver a project in 11 months or increase sales by over 10%. Explain how your skills and experience can allow you to provide those results.

Third. Talk about the market value and say that you deserve a market value for purposes of this example, $20,000 extra over the base salary.

Step #4. At this point the hiring manager will ask for clarifications.

Provide your information in short, succinct order based on your market research on three different sites, what your network has given you as a data point, what you have found on indeed. You have used. Those three different sites and triage this number which you now know is the market value. Or someone who is bringing the skills and experience that you are and #5 the hiring manager will say something like let me review the budget at this point. All you have to say is thank you for your consideration. I will wait eagerly for your review and response. You may also. Ask what is an appropriate time to do a follow up.

At this point, you might be thinking, wait a second. What did they say? No, I came in here with my best. Offer first. Remember, this is not very common. Most companies will come to you with the lowest range of the market value. They think they can get away with.

But in any case, if they do say that you will counter. With, I understand. Let's discuss how we can get to my market value with the options you do have available. Then you start problem solving and how to get to the value you're seeking. Maybe it's combination of 10% equity or a one time bonus or extra paid days off. This is the creative way to get to the original market value.

The extra $20,000 you had asked for the overall comment or the overall take away from this entire episode, the thing to remember is when you were discussing with somebody. And that dominant personality type.

 Do not put any fluff. There is no need for unnecessary information. In fact, it's actually bad for you because they're not receiving any of that fluffy information anymore.

In fact, they might have forgotten the information that was relevant to them in the 1st place. You will lose them. At the cost of contradicting myself, I will repeat it one more time.

People get in the habit of repeating themselves because they feel that their message will resonate more. But our brains are cheapskates when it comes to processing information, less is more when it comes to influencing people. Remember the mantra I gave you a few episodes back when you get what you want, stop talking. There you have it, my friends. How to negotiate with someone when they intimidate you.

Remember, much of negotiation is getting over fear and standing up for.

To believe when you get your mind wrapped around that simple but powerful concept, you will start approaching every negotiation in a step by step method. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen, and with each successful one under your belt, you will regain your voice and your power.

Make sure and grab the free negotiations training at dorothymashburn.com/fight for your worth.

I'm signing off for today. Thank you for listening and bye for now.

 

 

 

 

Links

Take this fun quiz to determine your communication style - scroll to the end of the blog post to access.

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/post/rapport 

Ace your Negotiations: Mastering Tough Questions:

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/post/ace-your-negotiations-mastering-tough-questions-in-negotiations 

Sites for D.I.S.C. assessment:

https://www.betterup.com/blog/what-is-a-disc-assessment 

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/disc/ 

 

 

Transcript

Hello I'm your host, Dorothy Mashburn, and welcome to Salary Negotiations made Simple.

I show you how negotiating does not have to be overwhelming.

I break the entire process of negotiating into easy to learn steps that you can use in a.

 

Any salary negotiation situation, whether you're starting a new job or preparing to ask for a raise.

 

Expect to receive practical, actionable strategies that are based on real life experiences. I'll be sharing tips that have been proven to work with professionals like you have netted anywhere from $5000 to $40,000 more in compensation. Its payment for the skills you. Already bring, so you need to know how to ask for payment for those skills.

 

Are you ready to learn how to boost your earnings?

Let's dive in.

Yes, I know you're ready to get to the meat and potatoes of this, and so am I.

We're talking about how to establish rapport in a negotiation.

You have probably heard about the importance of building rapport, but how exactly do you do it?

Most new negotiators struggle with this, and while many experts.

Emphasize how important building rapport is, the specific technique and strategies for building a

This lack of practical advice can leave negotiators feeling lost and unsure of how to proceed.

 

Am I right?

 

Do you feel that you are in the same boat?

 

Sometimes I have negotiated hundreds of agreements with negotiators at all levels and I'm here to emphasize that building rapport.

 

Is absolutely key.

 

Means the experts are absolutely right on that.

How do you do it?

 

Is the problem right?

 

We know it can make all the difference between a successful negotiation and a frustrating stalemate.

Taking the time to establish a connection with the other party can help you both feel more comfortable and invested in the process and you can unearth.

 

Gold Nuggets during the report building that can give you an extra advantage during those negotiations.

 

That said, rapport building isn't always easy.

 

Sometimes it happens right away, depending on the personalities.

But other times it takes a bit of patience and effort.

 

The important thing is to stay open and attentive to the other party and to look for opportunities to connect on a personal level.

 

This might mean asking about their interests or background, or sharing a bit about yourself.

 

Establish a common.

 

When we look around, we can always name someone in our life who is naturally gifted at reading the room or understanding nonverbal cues.

 

Am I right? Take a moment to think about that person.

What are they doing that allows them to find a common thread?

And then pull at it.

Are they mind reading?

Probably not.

So what are they doing?

Of course, there are many different ways of learning to master the skill.

We will focus on just one framework because in my opinion it is simple, practical and easy to apply.

One quick disclaimer, this framework is based on emotional and behavior theory and definitely has its critics.

The key is it gives its sound enough framework to base your negotiation strategy.

This framework has been around since the 1920s and is still relevant to.

It was developed by a psychologist named William Marston and is called the Disk Framework.

DisC stands for dominant, influential, steady and conscientious.

Dominant types are celebrities such as Gordon Ramsay, Elon Musk and Hillary Clinton.

Their assertive and confident take a moment to think about the people you interact with on a daily basis.

Can you think of 1?

Influential types are outgoing and sociable, like Ellen DeGeneres, Bill Clinton and Jay Leno.

Steady types are cooperative and patient.

Some celebrities that could follow the study types are Tom Hanks and Fred Rogers.

 

Conscientious types are analytical.

And detailed oriented like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett.

I bet you can place someone you know into each of the four categories one more time.

We are all complex organisms and four categories is a very, very simple representation of such complex beings.

Keep in mind we are going for a directional idea here in order to maximize the value of the pitch.

You're going to make, so we do not have to be exact.

Take a moment to think about which type resonates with you the most.

What do you?

Think are you dominant, influential, steady or conscientious?

Knowing your own communication style is a foundational step to building rapport.

There are many free online resources which you can use to do a quiz which will allow you to develop or find out about your own style.

I have included a free one in the show notes that can provide a general guideline, though remember there are professional sites that do these assessments with much more details and accuracies, and I will link a few of those.

In the notes as well.

Now let's try to understand what type of information resonates best with each communication style.

If you're addressing a dominant person, say Gordon Ramsay, you should focus on results and achievements.

Use concrete examples to illustrate the benefits of your proposal.

Your idea highlight how your solution will help the person achieve their goals and their objectives.

Sweet confidently and assertively, and be ready to answer tough questions.

By the way, I have a whole blog post on how to handle tough questions and I will link it in the notes section.

When communicating with an influential person, focus on building a personal connection.

Share stories, anecdotes, and examples that will help the person relate to you on a personal level.

Use positive language and highlight the potential for fun and excitement.

Be enthusiastic and engaging.

And be prepared to listen to the person's ideas and feed.

Think how Ellen communicates on her show.

Try and watch a few of her shows.

This is the type of communication that we're going for.

Now let's move on to a personality type that prefers the steady style of communication.

They will like to focus on building a relationship of trust and respect, show empathy and understanding, and be patient and supportive.

Use language that is friendly and familiar and avoid coming across as too pushy.

More aggressive.

Be prepared to listen actively and to offer constructive feedback and support.

See how some of these personality types might clash with each other?

This is exactly why we need to understand our own style as well as the style of the counterpart that we are negotiating with now.

Finally, communicating with a conscientious person, you need to focus on details and facts.

Use precise language and provide evidence to support any claims that you make. Be prepared to answer technical questions and to provide detailed explanations. Show respect for the person's expertise and be willing to work collaboratively to find the best solution.

The people who are best known for.

This style are.

Warren Buffett, Bill Gates.

And if you can think of some of the presentations that they have made or if you can look those up before a negotiation, you are going to be golden.

 

The bottom line in all of this is to provide information in the language of the receive.

Not how you like to receive information, but how your counterpart likes to receive information.

This is your best way to maximize any pitch that you make in the negotiation.

I have to provide the disclaimer here.

You have to be adaptable.

Everything about a negotiation is about adapting.

You and I are only human, so it is very possible that you might have considered someone to be conscientious, but as you engage, you find out they actually are in the steady type category.

During your preparation time, which remember preparation is foundational for any negotiation, have backup scripts in case you need to adapt your pitch.

If halfway through, you determine that your counterpart is actually a different communication style, you will want to be able to adjust your approach.

This is one big reason.

I recommend that negotiation should happen at a conversational level and not through e-mail.

The key is to listen carefully to your counterpart and adjust accordingly.

In many negotiation classes, you will hear people talking about how you need to build your active listening skills, and this is exactly why, because you're listening for clues so that you can adapt your message.

Makes sense.

Right.

 

One way to get better at this is to notice how salespeople make their pitches.

If you pay close attention, you will see that because they are studiers wait, studiers is that even a word?

OK, student.

Students of behavior, and they also practice a lot.

They are experts at addressing and adapting to their customers needs and objections.

Let's say they are working with a.

Customer who's a Dd.

Type, which means that the D types are dominant and results driven.

A salesperson may focus on discussing the benefits and results that their product or service can provide.

If a customer is an S type means they're steady and cooperative and expert salesperson.

May focus on building a relationship with the customer and demonstrating how their product or service can meet the customer's needs.

For an eye type customer whose outgoing and sociable a salesperson may focus on establishing a personal connection AC type who is conscientious and detail oriented for them, an expert salesperson may focus on providing specific details and data to support their product or service.

They may also take a more structured and methodical approach to match the customer's communication style.

So usually sales training includes words about mirroring and this is another way of doing exactly what I'm teaching you here today.

So mirroring is basically doing what the customer is doing in the language that they understand so that they receive the information that you're sending them in a perfect.

Does this make sense?

There you have it.

An easy framework to help you build rapport with anyone, though I want you to remember that building rapport with others is a valuable skill and can greatly improve the outcome of your negotiations.

And while the disk framework can certainly be a helpful tool for understanding how to communicate.

It doesn't happen overnight, my friends.

I would encourage you to approach rapport building as an ongoing experiment.

 

Pay attention to how people respond to your communication style in different contexts.

 

Whether you're in a cafe, on the metro or anywhere else.

 

And then use that feedback to refine your approach overtime.

Remember to ask yourself questions like how did I handle that interaction and could I have done something different?

What could I have done better?

Think and reflect on every single experience.

I promise you you will get better.

It is not a one and done skill.

 

It is something you will continue to learn and refine throughout your life.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes or experiment with different approaches.

How you will learn.

 

What works best for you?

Finally, as you practice and refine your report building skills, you will find that you become more confident and effective in your interactions.

So be an experimenter, keep learning, and don't forget to do an after action review to help you continue to grow and improve.

Good luck.

 

On Thursday we will discuss how to negotiate with a personality type identified in the dominant category.

This is the first of a series.

That we are going to do on how to negotiate with all of the four personality types, so make sure and tune in for that one.

Some great tips to help you not feel intimidated.

 

Thank you for listening today and bye for now.

Transcript

Welcome to our podcast, Salary Negotiations Made Simple!

I'm your host Dorothy Mashburn, and welcome to Salary Negotiations Made Simple! Here I show you how negotiating doesn't have to be overwhelming. 

 I break the entire process of negotiating into easy-to-learn steps that you can use in any salary negotiation situation - whether you're starting a new job or preparing to ask for a raise.

 Expect to receive practical, actionable strategies that are based on real-life experiences.

 I'll be sharing tips that have been proven to work where professionals like you have netted $10 - $40k more in compensation.

 It’s payment for the skills you bring – so you need to know how to ask for payment for those skills.

Are you ready to learn how to boost your earnings? 

 Let's dive in! 

Welcome to today's episode of "Prepare the Mind" where we'll be exploring a series of short exercises to help you get ready for any negotiation.

Have you ever been caught off guard by a difficult conversation or negotiation?

In those moments, having a few tools at your disposal can help you maximize the value from the conversation.

That's why I'm here to share practical tips that you can implement before any negotiation. So, get your notepad ready, or feel free to replay this podcast as many times as you need to, because we want to make sure you have all the tools you need to succeed in asking and receiving more money and benefits.

Let me ask you this: Did you know that the best things in life are on the other side of difficult conversations? That's what the American Negotiation Institute says, and I couldn't agree more.

But sometimes, we're hesitant to have those conversations, especially when it comes to negotiating for a salary increase, asking for a promotion, or even just discussing an issue with a coworker.

 

So, what's stopping you from having those conversations?

 

Is it anxiety, nervousness, or feeling overwhelmed?

 

Take some time to think about the root of those feelings. Maybe you're afraid of rejection or worried about damaging a relationship. But don't let those feelings hold you back.

The question is, how can you move forward with confidence?

This is why we are here today.

Let’s assume you have 2-3 days prior to a negotiation.

• I want you to grab a piece of paper and write down why you're feeling that way.
• Take a moment to acknowledge those emotions, and don’t edit yourself.
• Just write it all down. After that, take a day to step back and don’t think about it at all. Just clear your mind.
• The next day, take another piece of paper and write down how you are feeling today. Take another day.
• Then come back and compare the two pages of writing.

Do you see a difference? I am betting that absolutely 100% you will see an improvement.

Now, let's move on to shorter time frames.

If you have 2 hours before a negotiation, try a meditation technique called grounding.

• Find a quiet and comfortable place where you won't be disturbed.
• Take a few deep breaths and focus on your breath as you inhale and exhale.
• Notice the sensations in your body, such as the feeling of your feet on the ground or the weight of your body on the chair. Start to name the things you can see, hear, touch, smell, and taste in your surroundings.
• Keep naming these things and focusing on your breath until you feel calmer and more grounded.
• This technique can help you stay present in the moment and reduce the impact of anxious thoughts about the upcoming conversation.

Let’s assume you have a negotiation discussion coming up in an hour or less, and you're feeling anxious about it, here's a positive psychology visualization exercise that can help you feel more confident and prepared:

• Find a quiet and comfortable place where you won't be disturbed.
•        Take a few deep breaths and focus on your breath as you inhale and exhale, letting go of any tension or stress.
•         Visualize yourself engaging in the conversation in a positive and successful way. See yourself speaking calmly and confidently, and the other person responding positively. Imagine the conversation going smoothly and ending in a win-win outcome for both parties.
•         If any obstacles or challenges come up during the conversation in your visualization, visualize yourself handling them with ease, staying calm and composed, and finding a positive solution.
•         Keep visualizing the conversation going well until you feel calmer and more confident. You may want to repeat this exercise a few times, focusing on different aspects of the conversation each time.
•         As you finish the exercise, take a few more deep breaths, and focus on the feeling of confidence and positivity that you have cultivated through this visualization.

This exercise can help you approach the upcoming negotiation with a more positive mindset, which can increase your chances of success. By visualizing a positive outcome and practicing your response to potential obstacles, you'll feel more prepared and less anxious, which can help you communicate more effectively and negotiate more confidently.

Finally, if you have less than 30 minutes before your negotiation discussion and need to quickly calm your nerves, a positive psychology technique you can try is called mindful breathing. Here are the steps:

·     Find a quiet and comfortable place where you won't be disturbed.

·   Take a few deep breaths and focus on your breath as you inhale and exhale, letting go of any tension or stress.

·        Bring your attention to your breath and notice the sensation of the air flowing in and out of your nose or mouth. Focus on the rise and fall of your chest or abdomen with each inhale and exhale.

·        If your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breath, without judgment.

·        Continue breathing mindfully for a few minutes, letting any thoughts or sensations come and go without getting caught up in them.

·        Do this for 10 minutes.

·    As you finish the exercise, notice how your body feels and take a moment to appreciate the present moment.

Mindful breathing can help you regulate your breathing and slow down any racing thoughts. It can help you stay present in the moment which can help you approach the conversation with a clearer and more focused mind.

Recently, I have been talking about experimentation a lot. Experimentation allows us to step away from a perfectionist mindset.

And try the things that look hard. And once you try it, it of course gets easier each time. Am I right?

So, here's what I want you to do next:

The next time you are planning to have a difficult conversation try using one or more of the techniques we discussed today.

Remember that negotiation is a skill that can be learned and improved with practice.

Don't be too hard on yourself. The first time might be awful. And that’s ok. No one gets everything right the first time. This is why we are doing these practice conversations!

Take note of what went well and what could have been improved, and use that knowledge to improve your skills for your negotiations for the job offer or a pay raise.

So there you have it, some practical exercises and tips to help you prepare your mind for any negotiation.

Remember to acknowledge and work through any anxieties or fears you may have, reframe the conversation as a problem-solving discussion, and find ways to practice.

Thanks for listening to today's episode of "Prepare the Mind” on our Podcast Salary Negotiations Made Simple.

Be sure to tune in to our Podcast on Tuesday morning next week, where we will be talking about using a framework from social psychology to help establish a deep connection with our negotiation counterparts!

In the meantime, check out my website dorothymashburn.com/fightforyourworth ; subscribe and boost your income with a step by step audio training guide on salary negotiations.

Welcome to Salary Negotiations Made Simple!

Get your free audio training : "Know your worth and Fight for IT: 7 Easy Steps to Negotiating the Job Offer of your Dreams":

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/fightforyourworth 

Read about a simple framework that shows how to build rapport:

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/post/rapport 

Get your free copy of a offer acceptance template here:

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/post/salarynegotations 

Read about how to handle tough questions:

Ace your Negotiations: Mastering Tough Questions

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/post/ace-your-negotiations-mastering-tough-questions-in-negotiations