Jet Setting Jasmine is a licensed clinical therapist, co-owner of Royal Fetish Films (an adult film production company), and an adult entertainer. She combines her love of the arts, film and sex education to produce erotica that stimulates and engages the audience to push their sexual boundaries. Jasmine joins Jess and Brandon to share thoughtful insights on her life as a therapist, mother, performer and entrepreneur. She talks about directing porn (including a recent threesome scene starring her life partner, King Noire), the value and appeal of ethical porn, how porn performers balance their own pleasure with the need to perform for the camera, and strategies for staying in the moment when faced with distractions.

This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

 

 

 

If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Jet Setting Jasmine: Mother, Porn Performer, Director & Licensed Therapist

00:00:05 - 00:05:18

You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr Jasser podcast. I'm your co host. Brandon wear here with my lovely partner Dr Jess. Hey how you doing today babe. I'm great. I'm feeling good. You're feeling good well today. We are joined by Jet Setting Jasmine. I licensed clinical therapist owner of Blue Pearl. Therapy wears many hats including including adult performer sex educator. I know you own a number of businesses. What are you up to right now. What's on your radar on my Iradar right now is trying to balance family and all of those and I think that has been that is like my number one goal and challenge challenge right now. It's not it's not one particular thing. It really is striking the right balance with our family. We have an eighteen year old. Hold a fifteen year old and a one year old yes so the fifteen year old should be watching that one year old bruce thing I thought auto yes no and that's how it works so and we travel a lot for our business. So King King wires my partner and the biggest thing for us is how do we keep our family together and still honor the lifestyle that we wanna live and the work that we WANNA do and part of that is traveling with the family as much as possible so yes. The fifteen year old is flying in tonight. she pretty much on the road Friday through Sunday so she can watch your brother and we can haul around in the eighteen year old was doing hurricane prep while we were gone last week and you know so super super awesome kids very responsible but it is striking about kids right and what a cool life for a teenager to get to fly out to different places. I know you're in the northeast and the New York area. You're in the Poconos does your and now you're down in Atlanta and I know the fifteen year old hasn't arrived yet but last night you were shooting. Can you tell us about the shoot so thankfully were in that. Lennon have family here so my sister came in. older sister says you've got to spend some time with her nephew. so this shoot was it was my first like true who director debut wear. I am doing a short documentary on women producing and directing porn yeah so I have directed before either co-directed or directed and starred but there's something very different about being completely out out of the scene and having being responsible...

Sex therapist Shamyra Howard joins Jess to talk about how to have happier relationships — with yourself, family, friends and partner(s). She talks about how to apologize effectively and why your partner doesn’t want you to be sorry — they want you to be better. Shamyra also offers strategies to:

Manage jealousy and overcome insecurities

Validate your partner and differentiate between validation and affirmation

Understand differences as opposed to simply accepting them

Check out Shamyra's Sexuality Superhero feature here.

See some more of Shamyra's pearls of wisdom below...

View this post on Instagram

You know what's sexy? Vulnerability is a word we use often but what does it mean for relationships and why does it matter? Relationships are all about feeling safe enough to take emotional risks knowing that this person has the ability to hurt you, but relying on your own ability to trust yourself to show up. This happens best with an emotionally responsive partner. When you respond to your partner's emotional vulnerability with emotional security that creates connection. That's Intimacy. That's Sexy. #mondaynightraw

A post shared by Shamyra (@sexologistshamyra) on Sep 9, 2019 at 7:32pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

Stop faking orgasms! #mondaynightraw Faking orgasms contribute to the orgasm gap that we are working to end. Taking ownership of your sexual pleasure is sexy! Let's do it!

A post shared by Shamyra (@sexologistshamyra) on Sep 2, 2019 at 7:13pm PDT

View this post on Instagram

Potential is great, but. That's it!! Most people have potential, but what they do with it counts most! Monday Night Raw

A post shared by Shamyra (@sexologistshamyra) on Aug 26, 2019 at 7:49pm PDT

This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

 

 

 

If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

How to Deal With Insecurities, Neediness and Apologies

00:00:05 - 00:05:03

You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can US tonight. Hey Hey just a riley here and very excited today to be joined by sexologist Chamara sex therapist sexologist logistic extraordinaire the creator of the US your mouth conversation starter cards. Let's talk about those. Do you want me to do with my mouth eight and so that was the first thing my husband said when he saw the question he got the first Cardi Pool was use your mouth and he's well what I have to do and I say clearly. You didn't read the direction car so these are conversation starter car so as you mentioned I'm a sex therapist right on the green couch. is my practice and and what I realized is that couples talk about sex or their relationship. What they usually talk about is what we're going to eat for dinner tomorrow. The kids need this for school. Oh All we'd have to do this. These bills are paid for the business stuff and so when I ask them stuff about their relationships and even sex they're like looking at each other like do you know this do. I know this into and so these cars are really a fun way to help them. Increase the intimacy in and out of the bedroom so they are really fun. I've sold over eight hundred of these these cards eight hundred decks yes of these cards and I keep getting lots an...

Austin-based sex therapist, Adam Maurer, joins Jess to share straightforward insights for happier relationships. They discuss JODO, setting boundaries, managing let-down, dealing with personality differences (e.g. introverts versus extroverts) and a simple weekly ritual to improve communication, understanding and intimacy.

Follow Adam on Instagram, and check out moontowercounseling.com. Adam will also be in the Bedpost Confessions from October 23-25. Check it out!

This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

 

 

 

If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Jess discusses emotional vulnerability, sexual shame, strategies for discussing sexual needs, why some people cheat and the Madonna/whore dichotomy with Toronto-based sex therapist, Kat Kova. Kat also helps Jess to open up about her greatest sexual fear.

This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

 

 

 

If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Overcome Sexual Fear, Open Up and Share Deeper Intimacy

00:00:05 - 00:05:24

You're listening to the sacs with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can us tonight. Hey hey hey this is just a rally your friendly neighborhood sexologist and i am joined today by individual couple and sex therapist toronto-based cat cova. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. Now your leisure your sex therapist. What drew you to the world of sex therapy. Yes so. I'm your friendly neighborhood sex there. and it's so funny i actually people don't really believe me when i say this but i wanted to be a sex therapist. From the age of ten i i was so in love with a doctor sue johanneson on the sunday night sex show and what i found to be so interesting about her was that she just delivered education and in an entertaining way and she seemed to really be meeting the need that that didn't seem to be met anywhere else that i was exposed to and so for better or worse yeah that's kind kind of how i got into it and i always really wanted to develop into someone that i felt like was missing in my life who i wanted to talk to when i was a little kid so that's kind of part of my story so sue johannesen had a nationally syndicated television show in canada. It used to be on sunday night so she. She was sort of our canadian version of dr ruth. She was a little bit more subdued than dr ruth right a little bit less of a caricature you say i i found her to be outrageous. I mean have you seen her on conan o'brien. Yes she's very funny. She likes drops a dildo to her. I don't remember that she's about the eighty or so. I mean i thought she was eighty back when she was on the show in the eighties so i i can't imagine but she was really great at what she did and she really did it. Just deliver the goods matter of fact of course people will look back and say oh but she said this or she said that yes. It was twenty thirty years ago. Some things have changed but she was a trailblazer in the field so you followed in her footsteps. Did you go straight and steady sexuality right away or is it a path that kind of led back to to where you are today yeah. It's definitely something that i was led back to you because they didn't tell anyone at the age of hand. I wanted to be a sex therapist. I thought they would really look let me look. I was very strange and people still do by the way because it's very unorthodox particularly in my community which is the serbian community and it was something that i really decided on when i was about twenty two and i was alone in tokyo jio working there and decided i really wanna do something that has a lot of purpose in my life. When i was in tokyo is working in a job that i didn't really like take a year off from school so it was between my b._a. In psychology and then i decided to do a certificate and sexuality studies at york university versity and went on to do my...

How can you reduce the negative effects of technology on your relationship? And how can you move on and rebuild after you’ve cheated on your partner? Jess and Brandon share their thoughts in response to listener questions.

Oftentimes when we ask something of our partner, we need to begin with ourselves. Before you try to convince your partner to put down their phone, ask yourself if you need to do the same. Even if you allow it to interfere to a lesser degree, every time you’re on yours, they're likely to pick up their own.

And when it comes to cheating: you can move on and have a happy relationship after an affair. Begin by taking responsibility, getting help, tracking your progress, and making space for negative feelings and interactions.

Please see some rough notes below...

How do I get my wife to put down her phone?

Great question! Oftentimes when we ask something of our partner, we need to begin with ourselves. I was working with a group of couples the other day and one group was complaining that their partners were always on their phones checking emails and working. They were really chastising them and the message was, “oh we’d have more sex if you didn’t work so much and you’d put down your phones”. This was directed specifically at entrepreneurs, because this was an entrepreneur group who brought their partners to my session. But then the entrepreneur group turned around and reminded their partners that they too are almost always on their phones — they’re scrolling through feeds, updating social media, reading articles — they may not be working in the paid sense, but they’re still allowing technoference to interfere in their connection.

So before you try to convince your wife to put down her phone, ask yourself if you need to do the same. Even if you allow it to interfere to a lesser degree, every time you’re on yours, she is likely to pick up her own.

Technoference is becoming the norm in relationship. Research shows that the mere presence of a phone detracts from concentration, presence, connection and trust. In one study, they compared interactions in three scenarios: phone on the table, phone in your pocket and phone outside of the room. The third scenario was associated with the highest levels of trust, empathy and intimacy.

And it’s not just about distraction. Blue light can interfere with sleep, which adversely affects relationships. The light emitted by phones, laptops and and tablet devices (even when set to silent mode)  is “short-wavelength-enriched”, which means that it contains high levels of blue light which interferes with the sleep-supporter hormone, melatonin. When we don’t get a good night’s sleep, we’re more likely to engage in conflict with our partner, less adept at resolving these conflicts, more likely to made poor food choices and less inclined toward sex.

Minimizing technoference can be easier and more successful if you choose specific strategies and roll them out one at a time as opposed to trying to overhaul your entire lifestyle or trying to change everything at once.

I’m going to share some of the strategies that work for my clients, but you don’t have to do them all. I suggest you try one at a time.

1. Have a phone-free dinner. In the past, we didn’t have to go out of our way to take a tech-break, but leaving the phones at home (or in the car if you’re dining at home) is a simple way to ensure that you’re present and connected to your partner — instead of being connected to your 300 "best friends".

2. Go for a walk, bike ride or drive without using your map app. Technology is grand and can help you to see more relevant places in a shorter period of time, but it can also detract from discovery and the excitement of the unknown. Once in awhile, whether you’re on vacation exploring a new city or simply wandering the streets of your own neighbourhood, opt to leave the map at home (or just keep the app closed) so you can discover new streets, cafes,

Our old friend Mikey Singer joins us to talk about how to prioritize intimacy and sex after you’ve had a baby. Parenthood changes the household dynamic, but it can be for the better.

To learn more about We-Vibe and its products, click here.

Get your tickets to MomFest now by clicking here. Jess is looking forward to seeing you all on September 10th!

This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

 

 

 

If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Sex & Intimacy After a Baby  Insights From A New Dad

00:00:00 - 00:05:17

Welcome to the sex with dr podcast. I'm your co host. Brendan wear here with my lovely partner dr jess. Hey hey we have a special guest with us today. His name is mikey senior. He is a brand new daddy so it's kind of weird when you say like that not in kinky sense in a literal sense he had a baby. He's a brand new dad. He's a good friend of brandon's. Let's not give mikey too much. I'm going to start giving him a hard time. Let's not give mikey too much credit here. His partner had a baby well. He was part of it. He deposited his sperm. I did a lot of it are you. You saying you were on top o- ente- behind wherever she needed me to be and then i was support you know i- supreme support role hang on are we talking about during the making of the baby or the delivery of the baby all senses of even even now caring for the navy like a husband's role is support staff staff. That's that's what we do. We support staff in the sex. We supports that pregnancy and we support staff in like actual raising the child. I okay hey i don't like the support staff and the raising the child but we'll get to that but i really like the support staff during the sex really you look at me as a support staff during coitus toyotas i can i can lean on you. I can bend on you. I can angle my hips on you. I like it. It's interesting when we talk about this because during the sex it's very much. Let me get what works for me. That's what i'm saying. We're the support staff. You're like. Oh just just a little bit. Just move a bit too. Oh that's perfect going. A little higher up got no perfect. Are you still here. That's like oh. You're so here and then two point now that i've got mine. Go down rub my feet. Yes i am a supreme particularly but that's part of the support staff like when in your wife is pregnant and those are very swollen. Your job is to massage the however . Maybe i'll get pregnant just for the foot rubs now. Mike and i go way back doc. I said he's brandon's friend but he started as my friend and brennan does this. He walks in. He's charming funny more likable than myself and then they become they become friends but that's okay. My world's are colliding. Mikey used to be the co owner of the everything to do with sex show which was a trade show on the eastern side of canada a huge show with twenty five thousand thirty five thousand attendees over the course of a weekend. We learned a lot together. I'm pretty sure i've spanked him. We've done things in the dungeon together other. We've done things on stage together. You bullied me in my hotel room. I don't even know what you're talking about. just would never let me go to asleep because you know you've worked for in three days. You'd work seventy two hours and just be like oh you got to g...

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TL;DR: Sexual Repression ≠ Who You Are

Repression is an experience, not an identity. You can feel repressed one day and empowered the next. Both can be true.

Shame isn’t innate, it’s learned. From religion to racism, sexism to ableism, systemic forces fuel shame around pleasure.

Common signs of repression:

Feeling judged for your fantasies

Guilt after masturbation or partnered sex

Shame after pleasure

Start the unlearning:

Talk about judgment with your partner. Ask where it comes from.

Reframe masturbation as self-love, not selfishness.

Examine the sex-negative messages you absorbed growing up.

Reclaim your body, one session at a time:

We-Vibe Touch X for gentle solo reintroduction to pleasure

Mind-Blowing Oral: Clit Edition for affirming anatomy & partnered play

Mindful Sex Course to deepen communication & embodiment

Empowerment is a practice. It’s built in micro-moments: curiosity instead of avoidance, self-touch without shame, conversations with compassion.

Explore more:

How to Talk About Fantasies Without Feeling Weird

How to Meet at a Sex Club

What Is Sexual Repression?

Sexual empowerment and sexual repression are not static states of being, but experiences that fluctuate over time.

You may feel repressed one day and empowered the next.

You may experience empowerment in one sexual scenario and struggle to overcome the repression with which you were raised. The experience of sexual repression (which is universal) does not mean that “repressed” is a part of your sexual identity, as sexuality is fluid.

You may feel empowered on your own, but you may be socially repressed because of your gender, sexual orientation, race, age, ability or body type. While empowerment and overcoming sexual repression may be admiral goals, it’s important to look at the ways in which systemic oppression wreak havoc on our sexual identities and sexual expression.

In a world where ads for cosmetic surgery get a pass, but sex educators are de-platformed, it’s no wonder so many of us internalize shame around pleasure.

Let’s take a closer look at some signs of sexual repression and explore how you might move toward empowerment with yourself, or in partnership.

How Do I Know If I’m Sexually Repressed?

1. You Feel Judged For Your Sexual Desires

Your partner (or society) shames you for your sexual desires or fantasies. This is a serious red flag and a sign that you may not be compatible. Compatibility can be cultivated, but if they judge you for your sexual desires, you may find difficulty finding common ground.

What to do: Talk to them about the judgment. Call it what it is. Ask them to explain the source of this judgment. How does it make them feel? Are they struggling to overcome a sexual issue and are they projecting their negative feelings on to you? If they’re willing to work on this, you can find a path to compatibility. If they continue to shame or judge you (without acknowledging their own hangups and baggage), you may want to consider whether they’re the right sexual partner for you.

If your partner (or society) shames or mocks your fantasies,

Jess & Brandon address a listener who wants to “convince” his wife to fulfill his fantasy. They discuss the appeal of public sex and how you can build upon your fantasies in a safe way and incorporate your partner.

Please see some summary notes from this podcast below:

I may be weird but I want to have sex in public. How can I convince my wife to fulfill this fantasy?

Public sex carries an element of risk, which can heighten excitement, desire, passion and intimacy — if you balance this risk to ensure personal safety. I often suggest that the formula for a lasting relationship involves cultivating so much love, safety, trust and respect that you can engage in non-sexual behaviours and/or explore fantasies that are a little risky. Having sex in public is one example of an activity that can heighten passion without huge risk as long as you consider your local laws.

Not everyone consents to watching or hearing you have sex, so be mindful and respectful of others’ boundaries. If you go shopping with your younger sibling or child, you don't want to hear a couple having sex in the next fitting room. If you go for a walk with your grandmother, you don’t expect to see a couple getting it on behind a tree. You can experiment with elements of public sex without exposing yourself to non-consenting parties. Consider the time, place, lighting and other logistics as you explore this fantasy. A public park or parking lot at 3am likely provides less privacy than it does at 2am.

But you don’t have to have sex in front of a crowd to benefit from the thrill of public sex. Consider the following strategies to enjoy the risk and reward without reaping negative consequences:

1. Have sex on your own property — on the balcony or in your yard (in the dark), for example. You’ll enjoy the thrill of being outdoors and the threat of being watched or caught, but you can control the degree of exposure and slip back inside at any point in time. Be sure to turn off the outdoor and indoor lights so that your neighbours won’t be able to see you in action.

Other semi-public options include the car, single-stall restrooms and fitting rooms.

2. Expand your definitions of sex. Don’t get hung up on P-V intercourse. Time and space won’t always allow for all types of sex, so get your quickie on using your hands, lips, tongue and even toys — consider a wearable toy like the new We-Vibe Moxie. Wear it while shopping and give your partner the reins of control (using the remote control or the WeConnect smartphone app).

3. You don’t have to “finish”. Obviously there is no universal finish line for sex, but oftentimes, we become focused on reaching orgasm as the ultimate goal. Instead of striving to climax in a public space, consider getting started in public with dirty talk, discreet touching, sexting, rubbing through clothing under the table and other activities before moving into a private space to follow up.

4. Go to a sex club or event where on-site sex is permitted. You can enjoy the thrill of exhibitionism without the risk of violating others’ consent.

This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

 

 

 

If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Bringing Fantasy to Reality: Public Sex

00:00:05 - 00:05:00

You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sa...

Karen B.K. Chan, joins Jess and Brandon on the podcast to discuss rejection. How can we manage rejection? And when we feel rejected, how can we embrace it? How do we develop resilience and emotional literacy and to navigate uncomfortable social situations. Listen now and learn more!

The following is a rough transcript of the introduction to this podcast:

When was the last time you felt rejected — in work, socially, or otherwise?

I feel rejected often because I talk to strangers so often. The other day I was walking down the street and I said good afternoon to a woman and she didn’t reply. The way I read the situation was that she looked up at me, mouth agape and then averted her gaze. I felt as though she was irritated with me and though that may have not been the case - she may have been shy or felt threatened or simply didn't know what to say, but I remember feeling irritated. But I was only irritated because I felt rejected.

I also feel rejected when I try to make conversation with people and they seem uninterested. When I play Ultimate, I often play with new players or new teams or new subs and some people really like to chat on the sidelines and others clearly aren’t interested. I always try to make conversation because I’m chatty and sometimes I get one word answers and I take it personally.

But of course, it’s not their responsibility to make sure I manage my own feelings of rejection. They may not want to talk because they’re into the game. They may not be in the mood. They may just not really like me. And I’m sensitive about this. Sometimes when I’m in certain spaces, I feel like I’m being rejected because of my race, because of my occupation, because of my appearance if I don’t fit in. But this is on me.

I grew up thinking people in Toronto were snobby and at some points in my life, I had a chip on my shoulder because of this. And I think it’s because I wasn’t being honest about how I felt. I wasn’t owning the feelings of rejection.

And feelings of rejection are tough. They’re psychological and physiological. Evolutionary theorists suggest that because we come from hunter-gatherers, we needed the community to survive. When we felt rejected by the group, we feared for our lives because we simply couldn’t survive on our own. It stems from a life or death situation and it’s a warning system for our own protection. Of course, we no longer live in the wild, so we no longer need to allow rejection to scare us. In fact, we’ll be better off if we embrace rejection.

MRI studies show that the same areas of the brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain and pain medications like Acetaminophen can reduce emotional pain.

But emotional pain can feel more intense than physical pain because we can recall it, and because when we face emotional pain like the pain of rejection, we tend to self-sabotage and be harder on ourselves. If you get a bruise, you don’t ruminate about it, but we tend to be self-critical when faced with emotional rejection.

I want to talk about rejection because I think we’re getting it all wrong. I think we fear it too intensely and it’s time to embrace it. We often talk about the power of vulnerability and how much it can improve self-esteem, relationships and fulfillment. And rejection is a part of this vulnerability. Rather than avoiding or dismissing rejection, I want us to embrace it and learn from it.

Joining us to discuss how to handle rejection is BK Chan. BK is sex and emotional literacy educator.

BK has an Emotional Intelligence  online course you can access here.

The following is a rough transcript of the podcast conclusion:

Rejection is a life skill. There are so many pearls of wisdom to pull from BK’s insights and even though I’ve only met BK a few times, she is one of my favourite people I’ve ever had the privilege of speaking to and spending time with. If I have to pull one action item out of BK’s many insig...

Julie Peters, author of Want: 8 Steps to Recovering Desire, Passion, and Pleasure After Sexual Assault, shares her insights regarding recovery and the return to desire, sexuality, trust, and pleasure after assault. Her approach is grounded in gratitude, mindfulness and pleasure and is relevant to survivors of all genders as well as the general population.

This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.

 

 

 

If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Sex & Pleasure After Sexual Assault

00:00:05 - 00:05:24

You're listening to the SAX with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight . Welcome to the sex with Dr Jess podcast. I'm your co host Brandon wear and I'm just so Riley your friendly neighborhood sexologist before four we get started. I want to say a big. Thank you desire resorts and cruises for their ongoing support of our little podcast here you can find out more about desire and their clothing optional cruises and resorts at Desire Experience joining us today is Julie Peters the author of want eight steps to recovering desire passion and pleasure after sexual assault. Thank you for being here. Thank you so much for having me. Can you tell us a little bit about your journey that led to in writing this book absolutely yes so I was assaulted quite a few years ago now in a sort of a date rape kind of context it with someone that that I knew really well entrusted a good friend and I just kind of went through this journey afterwards where I've found that my like my life had just sorta lost its color and it took me a long time to kind of recognize what was happening and that I had experienced trauma essentially really and one of the questions that I really had as I was going through that was like where is my sexual desire like what happened to my body. Why don't I feel like I want to feel connected with anybody in that way and so you know I did some research late night google? What do you do like you've been assaulted and you know what is it and the best advice I could get at? The time was just don't until you want to which I thought was really. I mean sure fair enough but like there's so much more the Matt and so I kind of figure it out on my own and this book is really everything that I learned during that time using my yoga meditation practices and all kinds of other things to kind of find my way not only back to sexual desire but really to in new way of understanding outstanding my sexuality and a new way of feeling connected in my body and feeling like I was kind of having color not only again but sort of in new it's interesting because after trauma we often talk about connecting to your body and has a yoga instructor and a Yoga Practitioner. You probably are very much connected to your body but that doesn't always mean that it's sexual or Roddick yeah absolutely and sort of depending on who you ask there are lots of spiritual traditions that really see sex as dangerous as sort of like an energy that could disrupt your spiritual path and one of the things that really helped me as I was kind of going on this journey was I'm learning about Tom Tra- as sort of a different perspective on that so you know a lot of the one of the ethical precepts of Yoga is Brahmachari which is usually translated celibacy...