Sex With Emily

Two of your most powerful sex accessories? Your hands. Hands set the tone of your sexual energy. For example, caressing their cheek while you make out versus pinning their hands down while you have sex. And while we talk a lot about what to do with our mouths or genitals on this show, today I’m focusing on a lost art: hand play. Specifically, how to finger, give a hand job, and use your hands with sexual intention. Today, my Producer, Erica, and I first share how to penetrate a vulva with your fingers. We give you tricks to stimulate the labia and clitoris, different forms of pressure and touch, and how to find the G-spot when you finger. Next, we give the penis some love with hand job techniques and upgrades like toy play and perineum stimulation. Finally, we discuss secondary erogenous zones and answer your hand play questions.

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com.

Show Notes:

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It’s Hotline Calls time! And we’ve got one common theme: trust - the foundation of hot sex. Because when you trust yourself and the person you’re with, you can fully let go in bed and relax into your deepest pleasure. When oral sex gets too rough, how can you ask your partner to be more gentle and respectful? I’ve got some thoughts. When your partner doesn’t love booty play – but you definitely do – can you still ask for a rim job? Let’s say your partner goes to strip clubs, and it makes you super uncomfortable. How do you set boundaries together? Finally, when you’re the non-primary partner in a polyamorous relationship, what resources can you turn to for advice & guidance?

Have a question? Call my Hotline 559-TALK-SEX (559-825-5739) or message me at sexwithemily.com/askemily.

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

Show Notes:

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We all experience performance anxiety in bed from time to time. We get in our heads, we worry we’re not hot / good / skilled enough, and sometimes we try to be people we’re not during sex. That’s why today’s episode is about identifying different types of performance anxiety, so that we can show up more confident and relaxed for sex. First I talk through O-blockers: common reasons your orgasm and overall pleasure hit a limit. Next I bring up popular “personas” people adopt in bed, like the cool girl/guy who’s down for whatever (even when you’re actually not) and the super dominant, in-charge lover (even when you’re actually more submissive). Finally, I give you strategies to increase your sexual confidence and take all of your sexual anxiety questions.

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

Show Notes:

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This is how an orgasm works. It’s a symphony of mind, nervous system, blood flow and muscle spasms, all syncing up to give you oh-so-wonderful sensations. But what if you’ve never had an orgasm before? Or what if you do experience them – but want them to be better? In today’s popular Best Of episode, I explain the science behind orgasms and how to make yours amazing. I tell you what to do if you’ve never had an orgasm before, give you tricks for elevating your orgasms, and even share a few unexpected erogenous zones where you can orgasm (nipplegasms, anyone?). I also take your orgasm questions including: when the sex is great, but you just can’t climax with your partner, what gives?

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

Show Notes:

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Initiating sex, dry spells, and mismatched libidos: the Hotline Calls are open, and your sex questions are answered! Today’s sexual concerns are especially relatable: I’m willing to bet you’ve experienced one of these yourself. Let’s start with orgasms. When you can only get off in one very specific position, how can you retrain your body and mind? I give you tips on switching up your technique. Next: coming out of a sexual dry spell, how do you learn to initiate again? I help you collaborate with your partner. When you’re always a top (the more dominant one during sex), how can you tell your partner that you’d like to bottom (be more submissive) occasionally? I walk you through that conversation. Finally, when your spouse has next to zero interest in sex, what now? I offer insights on changing your relationship patterns to experience mutual pleasure and compatibility.

Have a question? Call my Hotline 559-TALK-SEX (559-825-5739) or message me at sexwithemily.com/askemily.

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

Show Notes:

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([TW: SA] If you would like to skip this portion of the episode, please skip through: 21:25-22:00) Let’s talk friends with benefits. Somewhere between a relationship and a situationship, you’ve got FWBs... And in my view, they’re a completely valid relationship model. But let’s be honest: they’re not for everyone. Navigating the friendship part of an FWB can get murky, especially if you’re secretly hoping it will turn into a real relationship. So in this popular best-of episode, I first help you get clear on whether or not you’re a good candidate for an FWB set-up. Next, we talk about how to establish your terms going in, because trust me – before you have sex with your friends, your communication skills have to be on-point. Finally I answer all your FWB questions, including: when you’ve had the same FWB for years but crave more with them, should you speak up? Or move on to someone more committed? 

See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com

Show Notes:

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It’s time to debunk the toxic myths around sex and age. Does sexual satisfaction drop off as you get older? Absolutely not! In fact, the data tells us the exact opposite is true. Today, anthropologist, bestselling author and my dear friend Dr. Wednesday Martin and I lay out the facts, which is fitting: we’re both in our fifties! If you’re not in your fifties yet, here’s what you can look forward to. It’s the decade many of us hit the reset button on our sexual desires. It’s the decade you start purely having sex for pleasure. And it’s the decade your confidence and communication get even better because you’ve honed your relationship (and career!) skills. Wednesday and I talk about why your fifties are so sexy, the signs of perimenopause and menopause and how to treat both, and our best advice for younger women.

See the full Show Notes at sexwithemily.com

Show Notes:

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When you’re not turned on by your partner, should you open the relationship? What does it mean when they don’t finish during sex? In today’s Hotline Calls episode, I’m taking all your pressing sex questions. First, when you want to bring sex toys and lube into the bedroom, but your partner is firmly opposed…what now? I offer communication tips to help bring down defenses. Next, when you’re loving sex with your partner but they never orgasm, is that a cause for concern? I talk about delayed ejaculation and why it happens. We also get into non-monogamy: when you’re not turned on by your partner, should you open up the relationship? Or is a different, deeper conversation needed? Finally, when you’re happily hooking up, how do you keep casual sex from turning into serious relationships?

Have a question? Call my Hotline 559-TALK-SEX (559-825-5739) or message me at sexwithemily.com/askemily.

Show Notes:

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Bored in bed? It happens. Sexual boredom doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship – but it is a cue that you’re ready for novelty. So save this episode because it’s an entire guide to spicing up your sex. First, I start with the when and where: how does the time of day affect your arousal? And where can you do it besides the bedroom? Next, we make your favorite sex positions more interesting and exciting with tweaks you can try right now. Finally, I give you beginner-friendly kink with sensory deprivation, temperature play and hurts-so-good pain play. Right this way to easy kink and tons of low-lift ways to play.

Show Notes:

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Your sleep affects your sex drive: we know this. The bottom line: if you know the right sleep hacks, you can have much better sex. In this fascinating Best Of episode with Dr. Michael Breus, we dive into the science of sleep and how to leverage it for sexual arousal. Starting with the four chronotypes, your body’s natural disposition to be awake or asleep, we help you figure out how to work with your body (not against it) for sexual arousal. We also discuss snoring – why it happens and how it affects your sexual connection. “I’ve saved more marriages as a sleep therapist than I ever would have as a marital therapist,” says Dr. Breus. In this episode, you’ll learn how to work with your unique circadian rhythm for better sex and communication.

Show Notes:

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