Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality from a Christian Perspective

By Jay Dee - Marriage EducatorSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Religion & Spirituality Christianity Relationships Sexuality

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Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality from a Christian Perspective episodes

February 12, 2017 Still looking for the perfect Valentine’s Gift?
Looking for the perfect Valentine's Day gift that will continue to around for years to come? Something that's sexy without being sexual? Check out Melt.
4 min
November 04, 2016 Should I listen to my husband or God?
This morning I listened to a recorded Facebook live broadcast. It was about whether you should listen to God or your husband that I really wanted to respond to. Actually, I left a few comments on the live broadcast because I couldn’t help myself. It’s here if you want to see. Scott LaPierre was answering the question:
What does a wife do when her conviction regarding a spiritual principle is different than her husbands? For example, I have a conviction that we should be tithing. For a while we were, but when money got tight, my husband said that we should not tithe again until all of our debt is paid off. We have school loans, so we’re easily talking a decade from now. So, what does a wife do when her conviction is not the same as her husband’s in an area like this?
Scott’s answer was basically that she only has to worry about submitting to her husband. That she’s not responsible for following God in situations like that.
I completely disagree!
Even though I believe in a headship and submission model of marriage. Now, I normally wouldn’t write a post pointedly disagreeing with someone else, but this really bothered me. Here’s why.
Hierarchies are … hierarchical
My biggest problem with a stance like that is that it throws out the idea of a hierarchy. The hierarchy given in the Bible is God, then husband, then wife, then children. Each “level” of hierarchy doesn’t supercede the previous one. If it did, then the children could ignore the husband in favour of the wife’s wishes. We know that’s not appropriate, so why then does God drop off the map as soon as a husband is in place?
The answer is, it doesn’t. Just because you get married doesn’t mean that God isn’t the source of your morality. It doesn’t mean you can start ignoring Him or even following your husband instead of God. You follow your husband, so long as he doesn’t contradict God.
It’s like if you’re a worker in a plant and your manager tells you to do something that you know the CEO wouldn’t approve of. Do you do it? You shouldn’t. Arguably, the CEO is the final authority in that company. What if the CEO tells you to do something illegal? Do you do it? Of course not, because the CEO has an authority over him, the law.
In the same way, if a husband tells his wife to do something immoral, then she has a responsibility to God to say no. In fact, I’d argue she also has a responsibility to correct him. If done properly, that’s neither disrespectful or failing at submission. It’s doing your job as a helper. God help me if my wife ever things she can’t hold me accountable. Because no one else in the world sees as much of what I do as she does. She’s the perfect person to hold me accountable to the things I said I would do.
We are each responsible for our own actions
Secondly, Scott mentioned that the wife is not held responsible for her actions, only for her decision to follow her husband. That is not a view I see expressed in the Bible anywhere. Instead, I see these verses:
But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load. – Galatians 6:4-5
This one is sort of backwards,
13 min
June 17, 2016 SWM026: Last Minute Father’s Day Gift Ideas
Last Minute Father's Day Gift Ideas. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
Father's Day is this Sunday, and I thought we'd share some last-minute Father's Day gifts for those wives who listen to the podcast. We've got some free options, some not-so-free options and some options that are a bit of an investment, but all of them you can manage to pull off even the day before Father's Day.
Now, most of these will work for husbands who are the higher-sex-drive spouse. If they are the lower drive spouse, w ell, then it's a bit more difficult to buy for. You're going to actually have to figure out what they want. But, for those wives with high-drive husbands, usually what fathers want most for Father's Day is the act that made the fathers in the first place: sex. So, here are some sexy gifts for you, or rather, for him.
This is an idea I had a couple Father's Days ago. You can read about it here. This is the free option, assuming your husband has any ties. If it's an old one he never wears anymore, even better. All you need to find is a box or a bag to put it in.
"Do It Better" is on sale
A while ago, I did a book review of Do It Better: Twelve Sexual Routines and Principles You Wish You Knew, and this week Jeff (one of the authors) emailed me to say that it's on sale for only $0.99 for kindle this week until Sunday. Get the book and read it together and focus on your sex life for a bit.
Another idea is our sexy coupons printable in the store. This instantly downloadable PDF contains printable sheets of coupons to give to your husband on Father’s Day. It contains 50 pre-typed Sexy Coupons, plus a sheet of “make your own” hand written coupons, that you can print and choose from to give to your spouse as a gift. You can print them on regular paper, card stock, or buy perforated business cards to make it easier.
10 min
June 17, 2016 SWM026: Last Minute Father’s Day Gift Ideas
Father's Day is this Sunday, and I thought we'd share some last-minute Father's Day gifts for those wives who listen to the podcast. We've got some free options, some not-so-free options and some options that are a bit of an investment, but all of them you can manage to pull off even the day before Father's Day.
10 min
May 06, 2016 SWM025: Preparing for Mother’s Day
Preparing for Mother's Day. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday, so thought I'd talk briefly about why father's should celebrate Mother's Day in honour of their wives. And today, my wife, Christina, has made the time to join me on this episode. Sort of to make up for the ones I missed recently. So, here we go.
Mother's Day is the most dangerous day of the year.
Looking for a last minute present? Head over to CouplesMassageCourses.com (clean) to learn how to give your spouse a sensual massage.
If you are a more adventurous couple, you can head over to MarriedDance.com and use the coupon code SexWithinMarriage to get 10% off your order. Caution - know your spouse before deciding to buy them a sex toy for Mother's Day.
Or, if you're last minute shopping on Amazon, you can use our affiliate link to help support us (SexWithinMarriage.com/Amazon).
Mother's: Take the day and listen to the appreciation and love you are receiving and feel good about the role God has given you. Here's a link to the post Christina mentioned: 3 Things You Might Not Know About Proverbs 31
10 min
May 06, 2016 SWM025: Preparing for Mother’s Day
Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday, so thought I'd talk briefly about why father's should celebrate Mother's Day in honour of their wives. And today, my wife, Christina, has made the time to join me on this episode. Sort of to make up for the ones I missed recently. So, here we go.
10 min
April 13, 2016 SWM024: Why Do Men Think Sex is a Reward?
Men often experience sex as a reward, even when nobody intended it as one. The flip side is that when sex does not happen it can land as a punishment, or as having failed at something. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.
I think there are three reasons. The first is hormonal: dopamine is the reward chemical, and sex delivers it in quantity. The second is cultural, because we are taught from a young age that sex equals winning, that it is the prize at the end of the pursuit. The third is that sex is bound up in what it means to be male, so a rejection is rarely heard as a no to one moment. It is heard as a verdict on the man.
None of that makes the framing correct, and it does real damage when a wife who simply is not in the mood gets experienced as handing out a punishment. But knowing why it lands that way is the first step to being able to talk about it honestly.
13 min
April 13, 2016 SWM024: Why Do Men Think Sex is a Reward?
Often men see sex as a reward, even when it's not intended for one. Conversely, if they don't have sex, sometimes they feel punished, or that they failed at something. Why is this? I think there are three reasons:

Hormones - specifically dopamine, the "reward" hormone.
Society - We're taught that sex = winning
Sex is a big part of being male
13 min
April 06, 2016 SWM023: It’s all about the relationship
The Bible uses marriage as a metaphor for God's relationship with us many times. I think there's a good reason for it. In this podcast episode, I discuss my belief that all the do's and don'ts, both in marriage, and in the Bible, point to one thing: the relationship. Not that the rules are unimportant, or are not valuable, but that the underlying relationship is far more so. In fact, if we focus on the relationship, on our love for the other person, then all the rules, the guidelines, the do's and don'ts, will happen all on their own.
19 min
April 06, 2016 SWM023: It’s all about the relationship
The Bible uses marriage as a metaphor for God's relationship with us many times. I think there's a good reason for it. In this podcast episode, I discuss my belief that all the do's and don'ts, both in marriage, and in the Bible, point to one thing: the relationship. Not that the rules are unimportant, or are not valuable, but that the underlying relationship is far more so. In fact, if we focus on the relationship, on our love for the other person, then all the rules, the guidelines, the do's and don'ts, will happen all on their own.
19 min