Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality from a Christian Perspective

Strapons, Exes and Foreskins. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

Well, it’s November, so it's time to get into the questions we received in October from our anonymous Have A Question page. As these are anonymous questions, all we get is what they submit. I post them in our supporters’ forum, we discuss them, and then I write up my responses on a blog post and release them as a podcast episode.

Before we get into the questions, though, we’re getting closer to Christmas, and this time of year is when I put our Intimacy Advent Calendar up for sale again. So, if you’re looking for a gift for your spouse, then check it out. It comes in three flavours - the romantic set, which has a bunch of non-sexual activities; the sexy set, which includes all the romantic cards and a bunch of sexual ones; and the black-label set, which has all the others, plus many more adventurous choices. So, whatever your dynamic, there’s something for you that I think your spouse will appreciate.

And now, let’s get on to the questions.

I have a fantasy about using a strap-on on my wife. The idea is I could go for more time than with my real penis and maybe stimulate her to an orgasm. Also, it seems fun to try a bigger than real-life one and see if it feels better for her. I love getting her to orgasm; it is the best ever! I'm pretty sure my wife would think that a little strange. I have floated the idea before and got that vibe. Sometimes, my ideals of what sounds sexy aren't so sexy in reality. What do I do with my ideas, or how can I find the sexy ideas my wife is interested in? She tends to just want simple and fast. If I ask her about fantasies or ideas she'd like, it's mostly nothing. I feel like I have a lot of creativity for sex, but need to tune how I use it better, but can't find what she likes, and she doesn't seem to know either.

There are a few things I want to hit with this question.

SWM 114 - Understanding and Navigating Sexual Obligations in a Christian Marriage. Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

I had a wife ask, Sex should be a gift given freely, and if I don’t have veto power, am I really giving freely? This is my response in light of 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 and the role model Jesus was for us dying on the cross.

If you have a different opinion than I do, or want to share your perspective, please post them in the comments on the blog post.

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful supporters!

If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference.

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

September 2023 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• A husband's changing orgasms
• Can widowers masturbate
• Husband won't stop masturbation habit
• Calling husband "daddy"
• Feeling guilty about initiating sex

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Guide to edging
• Is it sinful for widows to masturbate?
• What about sex for the surviving spouse?
• Mutual Masturbation for married Christians
• Mutual Masturbation survey results
• Is there a good way to tell your husband no sex tonight?

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful champions!

If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference!

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

SWM 112 - Do men have it harder when it comes to sexual expectations? Check out the blog post here for more details and links.

This podcast episode is answering this question I received from our anonymous Have A Question page:

Hi Jay, I've noticed a dichotomy when it comes to expectations for male and female sex drives and what's considered desirable sexual performance. As a man, I feel like there's a lot of pressure to perform sexually. This means being able to become sexually aroused when seeing a naked woman (my wife in this case), being able to maintain the erection and having the sexual stamina to keep from climaxing for a sustained interval (not sure what the average woman considers desirable stamina but let's say 10 minutes?) Not to mention the societal pressure that men face when it comes to the size of their penis. I myself feel insecure about not having a large enough penis. Who doesn't want to add a couple of inches to their penis? I've become somewhat perplexed/frustrated because I feel like there are very few expectations placed on females. We live in an age when "all women are supposed to be seen as beautiful." It seems that females are simply expected to be willing to participate in sex when the mood is right, and that's it. There's no expectation on the size or quality of female genitals, no expectation on their ability to get aroused or maintain arousal, and no expectations on the level of physical or mental effort they invest in sexual activity. It seems they are just supposed to be the recipient while the man does the thrusting. Even when it comes to the subject of natural lubrication, there's a stigma around a man who can't naturally achieve and maintain an erection, but for the woman, there doesn't appear to be a stigma around the inability to produce sufficient arousal fluid (vaginal wetness). As it pertains to the topic of pornography, I've read many articles about the dangers of pornography for men, how it leads to sexual desensitization, and when paired with masturbation, decreased sexual stamina and even erectile dysfunction. I can't say I've read many articles discussing how viewing pornography is detrimental for women. Is it just me, or is there a double standard when it comes to sexual expectations for men and women?

If you have a different opinion than I do, or want to share your perspective, please post them in the comments on the blog post.

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful supporters!

If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference and new supporters in September get Our Sexploration List free.

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

Sex in heaven, oral sex positions, recovering from affairs, wanting to be a mom. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

Welcome to another set of questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. These are 4 of the questions that came in during August. I pulled two of them out to tackle separately in longer posts and hope to get to them in the next few weeks.

So, let’s see what sort of questions people had for us last month.

Question: I think there's no sex in heaven...a special gift that God has given us here ( and Satan has tried to destroy). Jesus says "no husbands, no wives." My husband doesn't necessarily agree....What do you think, Jay and forum members?

I answered a similar question in Question 28 of January 2019's episode. I re-read it for the podcast episode, here on the blog post, I'll just link to it here.

Where can I find the diagram of the various positions for a man to perform oral sex on his wife?

The couple that runs MarriedDance.com (10% discount if you use UNCOVERINGINTIMACY as a coupon code) also runs a free site called Christian Friendly Sex Positions, and they're all categorized so that you can find oral sex positions for oral sex on a wife (cunnilingus) here: https://www.christianfriendlysexpositions.com/category/foreplay-positions/oral-sex-positions/cunnilingus/

July 2023 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• My wife feels disrespected because I notice other women
• Wife is hurt but not healing after years
• Wife disconnects during foreplay
• What can we do during fertile days
• Oral sex questions
• Husband doesn't know our anniversary date
• Should I be worried if I'm late?
• In-laws over-share about sex
• Fantasies for couples
• Low-drive husband
• Period sex

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Marriage Coaching
• Sexy Memory (game)
• Truth or Dare (game)
• LoveHopeAdventure.com (games)
• Our Sexploration List
• Oral sex survey results
• Orgasming from oral sex survey results
• Do Christians have sex during their period?

Don't forget to fill out ourlatest survey about how premarital sex affects married sex. We're looking for another 800 responses before we do the analysis.

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful champions!

If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference! All $5/month supporters in August and September get Our Sexploration List Free

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

June 2023 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• Crossdressing
• Reframing "duty" sex
• Wife gets sex when she wants, but he doesn't
• Afraid to have more children

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Is it wrong for Christians to Crossdress?
• Book a coaching call
• SWM 093 - Question 10 about the difficult pregnancy

Don't forget to fill out ourlatest survey about how premarital sex affects married sex. We're looking for another 1000 responses before we do the analysis.

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful champions!

If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference!

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

SWM 108 - What does the Bible say about hell? Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

This podcast episode is a Bible study about the topic of hell.

One of the most confusing subjects in Christianity is the topic of hell. I think it's so confusing because most base their beliefs on a handful of passages and then a heavy dose of pop culture.

And the popular view is that hell is a place of eternal torment where vengeful God sends you for all of eternity for not obeying Him. People use this belief to try and scare people into being Christians. The "If you don't, you'll go to hell and be tortured for eternity" type of evangelism.  

Unfortunately, this makes the basis of your salvation one of fear rather than love and also turns God into a sadist rather than a loving Father. Because what sort of loving God would create trillions of people, knowing the vast majority would reject Him and then keep them alive for eternity to torture them?

That is a difficult question for Christians to answer, and they usually resort to an argument that amounts to "He's God and can do what He wants." 

If you read certain parts of the Bible the way you must justify this view, it also makes heaven a front-row seat of the torture of hell, making all saints sadists who will revel in the agony of the lost for eternity.

It's no wonder people look at Christianity and think you must be insane to follow such a God.  

You cannot support this view without leaving out large portions of the Bible. Instead, I think the Bible shows that even hell shows a loving and merciful God who gives us a choice between eternal life or eternal death. Then He grants us our selection like a loving father would.

So, let's see what the Bible says about hell. Do people get tortured for eternity? Is it just an infinite existence of everlasting torment? Is God really that sadistic?

Now, I know this subject is going to upset some people. I challenge you to read it until the end. Check the Bible verses for yourself. This post will be mostly Bible verses with my thoughts interspersed so you can know what I'm getting from those verses.

Do your own study. I don't require you to agree with me, and I'm more than willing to be challenged on this so long as you do it in good faith. We had quite an interesting discussion about it in our supporter's forum.  

If you have questions, please post them in the comments on the blog post so others can participate. If you're feeling shy, you can email me as well.

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful supporters!

If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference!

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

May 2023 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• Wife wants too much sex
• Couple needs counselling
• Keep having the same unproductive fight
• Make boundaries before you start dating
• Sexy underwear for men

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Book a coaching call

Lately our Art of Edging ebook has been very popular as it's new. If you want to learn how to extend your sex sessions, along with connection and pleasure, check it out.

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful champions!

If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference!

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

April 2023 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• Is it okay to take nude pictures and videos of each other?
• Limon by Minna discount
• Asexual wife?
• Wife loves me, but isn’t in love with me
• Wife isn’t interested in improving our sex life
• Wish I married a bigger butt
• Secretly feed her ejaculate
• Husband says my vagina stinks and tastes bad
• 50-year-old wife refuses to have sex
• Do we need a counselor?

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Why masturbation is a problem, whether you're married or single (post)
• Limon by Minna (review)
• Limon by Minna (toy) - use coupon code LIMONADE for 30% off
• Arousal Non-Concordance (post)
• Married Sex (book)
• Intimacy Ignited (book)
• Is my spouse attracted to me (survey results)
• SWM 101 - Why does my spouse always push for more during sex (post)
• Marriage Coaching
• Book a single consultation call

Lately our Art of Edging ebook has been very popular as it's new. If you want to learn how to extend your sex sessions, along with connection and pleasure, check it out.

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful champions!

If you'd like to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference!

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.