Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality from a Christian Perspective

Wet dreams, whether sexual dreams are sinful, a widow’s desires, and is oral sex a sin. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

Today we’re finishing up the questions we received from 2021 from our anonymous Have A Question page. There were quite a few and our family has been sick, so it’s taken me a bit to get through them all. But, I finally did it and we’re on the mend. I’ve also been busy kicking off the first cohort of the year for our Becoming More Sexually Engaged course. There’s still time to join if you’re interested, but I’m going to be closing it down until the next cohort shortly.

With that out of the way, let’s get to the questions.

I struggle with wet dreams. My wife and I have sexual activity once a week, either sex or a handjob. If we’re planning to have sex sometimes that can slip to a few days longer than a week if we are busy or tired. When that happens I’ll have a wet dream day 7-10, and then I won’t have as much desire for when we were planning to have sex the next day or so. Is there something I can wear at night to stop the wet dreams? We tried doing a handjob once it’s been a week so I don’t get a wet dream, but then if she wants to have sex the day or two after I have less desire. A few times she’s been irked with me and so she’s purposefully not finished a handjob, letting go right before the finish which is frustrating because semen comes out but it doesn’t feel great like an orgasm. The times she did that I deserved it and it was kinder than giving me nothing since I don’t masturbate. Since an unfinished handjob leaves me full of desire but still drains the pipes could that be a fix to the wet dreams? Or wearing something at night to prevent an erection?

I think there are three issues here to address. Let’s talk about the wet dreams first. Wet dreams are normal, many men experience them when they’re younger. I’m not aware of any way to stop them other than having sex more often, and trying to stop an erection is not a good idea, I don’t think.

November 2021 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• Wife becoming less adventurous
• How long before porn memories fade?
• What counts as premature ejaculation?
• Is getting a vasectomy a sin?
• Husband isn't acting like a believer
• Is it okay to talk about sex?
• Are we going too far?
• Sex frequency has gone down
• Crossdressing men
• Rimming
• Sex once or twice per year since kids were born
• Conflict over anal play
• CBD Lube
• Spanking
• Masturbation for medical reasons
• Is masturbation okay if your spouse can't participate?
• Will masturbation keep me out of heaven?

This year, our most popular resource is Our Sexploration List - a great way to start a conversation about your sexual preferences with your spouse. Interested in learning more? Check it out here.

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Premature Ejaculation
• Keep Your Love On - Danny Silk
• Introduction to talking dirty
• Is it wrong for Christians to crossdress?
• Is it okay to engage in pegging in a marriage?
• Marriage Coaching with Jay Dee
• Spice Jar - Break out of your bedroom routine
• Is masturbation for medical reasons okay?
• Why masturbation is a problem whether you are married or single
• What is your opinion of solo masturbation due to separation?
• Three are no salvation issues

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful champions!

If you'd to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference!

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

What is feeling naughty? Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

Here's the question I'm answering:

Hi Jay,

Just a general question, what is the feeling of "feeling naughty"? And I guess there are other questions attached, is it sin? Are we describing something that’s simply "different" as "naughty" as maybe we don’t have another reference point in our vocabulary? There’s no great issue in our marriage or anything around the topic, just curious for your thoughts. But as a little context that got me thinking - my wife and I had a night in a hotel recently to celebrate our anniversary (which was actually 6 months ago, better late than never). As a treat and for fun, I bought her some lingerie that had a hole in the crotch area. It was very sexy and she loved them and we made love while she wore them. To which she exclaimed, "It feels so naughty!"…which I had to agree with, but I’d probably describe more like lots of "fun" whether naughtiness was an element or not. Thanks for your good work! 

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Why marriage ruins sex
• Our Sexploration List
• Sexy Coupons - show your spouse you still love them in that special way
• Introduction to Talking Dirty - if you're looking to break some taboos
• Intimacy Advent Calendar - You can still manage to do 7 days of Christmas

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

October 2021 Questions - Consensual adultery, caught masturbating, handjobs with condoms and more. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

Here we are for another monthly roundup of our anonymous questions from our Have A Question page, these ones are coming from October 2021. Hopefully, I’ll get this out before November ends.

Before we get to the 7 questions we have today though, I want to let you know that if you’re reading this before December 1st, you still have time to check out our Intimacy Advent Calendar, but not much time. Soon it’s going to be gone again for another year.

And, as previously mentioned, if you aren’t interested in buying it, but still want to play along at home, check out our Instagram page where I’ll be posting a card every day from December 1st until Christmas.

Oh, and lastly, we’re running a Black Friday/Cyber Monday deal - 50% off all digital products in the shop, just use the coupon code BLACKFRIDAY2021.

With that out of the way, let’s get on to the questions.

Why do many couples today believe that if the other approves of their cheating with someone outside the marriage, it is not considered adultery?

The Limon by Minna - Product Review. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

Get $50 off the Limon by by clicking here and using the coupon code UIBLACKFRIDAY.

This month our most popular resource is Our Intimacy Advent Calendar - a fun way to inject some intimacy into the holiday season. Interested in learning more? Check it out here.

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• The Ola by Minna
• Learn how to give a great massage
• Book - ADHD After Dark

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

Is premature orgasm a thing for women? How do you last longer? Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

The question we're answering today is:

Hi Jay,

I have a question for you / your podcast.

So my husband and I have been married for about 8 months now. It seems like every time he gives me oral sex, I end up orgasming within just a few minutes. Now, as great as orgasming is, I feel like after I orgasm so quickly, I am not as stimulated by penetration. Also, I really enjoy oral sex and I wish the experience could last longer. My husband and I waited until marriage to have sex. But before I was following Christ and before I met my husband, I was sexually active, including oral sex, and this never happened. So my questions are: 1) is this normal? is "premature ejaculation" a thing in women? 2) are there any ways to fix this and/or last longer? and 3) in women, if you orgasm once, is there a "come down" period? How is it possible to have multiple orgasms in one "sex session"?

Sorry for all of the questions! I still feel like we are so new to having sex and we have a lot to learn. I appreciate any and all input. Thanks!

This month our most popular resource is Our Intimacy Advent Calendar - a fun way to inject some intimacy into the holiday season. Interested in learning more? Check it out here.

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• How to make it easier to orgasm during sex
• Making it easier to orgasm - a guide for Christian wives
• Introduction to talking dirty
• Oral sex survey
• Christians, anal sex and anal play
• Responsive desire vs. spontaneous desire
• Limon by Minna (use coupon code UIBLACKFRIDAY for $50 off)

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful champions!

If you'd to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference! Plus, supporters this month get our Intimacy Advent Calendar free!

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review. They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage. You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

September 2021 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• Wanting your wife to have sex with other men
• How to handle a spouse who doesn't want to have sex
• What is healthy sexuality for single people?
• Does God intend for you to be a virgin if you don't get married?
• Dealing with the loss of a wife
• Can men continue to have sex after orgasm?
• Should you do Our Sexploration List while aroused or not?
• Pain during sex
• Are men turned off by prolapses?
• How to build stamina
• Are topless and nude photos the same as porn?

This month our most popular resource is Our Intimacy Advent Calendar - a fun way to inject some intimacy into the holiday season. Interested in learning more? Check it out here.

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Covenant Eyes - Accountability Software
• Where did my sex drive go? - Free Ebook
• Our Sexploration List
• Post on pain during sex
• Moringa seeds
• Moringa seeds
• Maca powder
• L-Arginine
• Red Ginseng
• Ashwagandha
• Red Raspberry Leaf Tea

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful champions!

If you'd to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference! Plus, supporters this month get our Intimacy Advent Calendar free!

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

August 2021 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• Snoopy wife caught husband
• Is orgasming the same as cumming?
• Is OMGYes okay?
• Ejaculate colour and consistency
• Encouraging senior sex
• Wife won’t “finish” oral sex
• Wife searched for porn
• Birth control for Christians
• Wife’s smell
• What sexual behaviour is prohibited
• Zoloft and PE update
• Multiple wives - again

This month our most popular resource is Our Sexploration List - a sure-fire way to spice up your sex life. Recently updated with new sections! Interested in learning more? Check it out here.

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Christian Married Sex Conference
• Becoming More Sexually Engaged - for Christian Wives
• Birth control options for Christians
• Zoloft and PE original question
• When did God stop allowing multiple wives?

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful champions!

If you'd to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference!

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

July 2021 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• How do I hide my BDSM toys when I live at home with my parents?
• Does God value boys more than girls based on Leviticus 12:2-5?
• How do you handle the hormones from PCOS when you have a low-drive husband?
• Is it okay to fantasize about my fiancee?

This month our most popular resource is Our Sexploration List - a sure-fire way to spice up your sex life. Recently updated with new sections! Interested in learning more? Check it out here.

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Sex Noises Survey
• Christian Married Sex Conference
• Becoming More Sexually Engaged - for Christian Wives

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful champions!

If you'd to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference!

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.

June 2021 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

In this episode, we are tackling the subjects:

• How to improve a boring sex life
• Why only ED during sex?
• Meds for Premature Ejaculation
• Risky public sex
• Should I talk to my doctor if I have ED?
• Fantasizing about premarital sex
• Turned on by my wife urinating
• Wife with no interest in sex
• Is breastplay required for a good marriage?

This month our most popular resource is Our Sexploration List - a sure-fire way to spice up your sex life. We just updated it! Get it free this month when you become a new $5+/month supporter.  Interested in learning more? Check it out here.

Here are the links I mentioned during the podcast:

• Sex Noises Survey
• Intimacy Ignited - Song of Solomon Bible Study
• Promescent - Premature Ejaculation Spray
• Episode 68 - Discussion of the morality of public sex
• Why marriage ruins sex
• Introduction to talking dirty
• Where did my sex drive go? - Free ebook
• Why are men obsessed with breasts?
• Don't put your hope in magic pills
• Melt - Couples massage classes

Follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter

If you'd like to discuss the questions as they come in, consider joining our private forum.

Thank you to all our faithful champions!

If you'd to support our ministry and see it grow, check out our support page for more info.  Even $5/month makes a difference, and also a free copy of Our Sexploration List this month!

Lastly, if you like our podcast, click here to give us a rating, and leave us a review.  They help others know this is a good resource to help with their marriage.  You managed to find us, help someone else do the same and receive the same benefits to their relationship.