Our episode today is about the power of our own stories. It started me thinking, Trin, that we haven't truly shared our own stories with our listener...

So, the question Trininty asks is, "which story should I share?" We have so many sides and facets to our stories. Trinity once was the scared child, born to a white mother and black father who were both part of the black panther movement. The child who was scooped out of school by her mother after she was threatened by her father and fled to live under assumed names. And now...this woman feels like she has to fix everything to keep those around her protected in some way.

Or...then, there's the share the story about Trinity's role as the badass mom and wife, who was the breadwinner of the family keeping it ALL together as she traveled the country in various roles of ever-increasing responsibility. All while, simultaneously, remaining involved in every school project, cheering at every basketball game from 2nd grade through high school and attending every choir performance. OR Did you want to know about the divorced version of Trinity? The previous version of her life looked so perfect to everyone looking in. But, behind that version was the truth of a marriage that was cold, lonely, and desperately broken. This woman left her one-sided marriage, to save her own soul, and to teach her son the love and respect that a woman deserves and to search for peace, joy, and warmth.

And, then, who is Trinity now? She's a corporate executive trying to move a company forward by day, and find meaning, purpose and financial freedom in a side gig so I can live a life of joy and not have to pay penance to "the man" anymore. And what about Shelby?

What story should Shelby share? Our stories are fairly different. Shelby could talk about her nomadic early childhood (which no doubt shaped her outgoing personality) and the young girl who lost her mother at age 7 and who's father quickly remarried a remarkable woman, who was beautiful, perfect and driven for success. Of course, this suited her father, who was an executive for an NFL team. Shelby's stepmom rose from secretary to CEO of her company. So, she had two parents who were busy executives, set high bars for their children and were fantastic role models, but left her feeling like she was never enough....This is where the fiercely independent, over-achieving, people pleaser was born.

Or there's the world traveler Shelby...who has lived and worked around the world In a quest to find herself or maybe to find her worth and build connections with others. It started with an internship in college in Mexico, followed by a world tour with a global program called Up with People and then work in Africa...which she loved, but had to abandon to leave her tumultuous marriage.

Similar to Trinity, Shelby was in a 16 year roller-coaster relationship with a funny, charismatic, alcoholic who was also a covert narcissist and who she thought was the love of her life. However, for anyone who's been in a narcissistic relationship, you can relate to the fact that her husband could be your best friend or worst enemy and she never knew who she was coming home to. She suffered from ongoing mental abuse, (sometimes) physical abuse and gaslighting that kept her small, confused and still causes her to sometimes question her worth. But, these experiences have given Shelby some serious fucking grit, resilience and independence that allowed her to leave that situation and THRIVE on her own.

Today, Shelby is staring down 50 as a single mom raising two teenage girls doing ALL the things with little support. Who is, just like Trinity, a busy executive trying to find her purpose and financial freedom and show her girls that you can live the life you create for yourself.

While we are imperfect...there is sooo much beauty and fucking LIFE in those stories! And, somewhere in there, we found each other...Shelby was the consultant and Trinity was the customer. And, while our career paths diverged for 10 years, our friendship remained strong and we're now partners in our day jobs and working hand in hand to put this podcast out into the world. And our guest today, Monica Wisdom, is and educator, coach and mentor and is here to share with us HER story because telling our story empowers us and also helps others who share fragments of our story know they are not alone.

We know our journey has been sweeter with the strength of our friendship. AND sharing our stories helps us to let go by getting to the core of our triggers and letting go of what is no longer serving us and stepping into our dreams in a whole new way. We become the experiences we believe to be true. Monica reminds us that there is another truth for us to understand, we are powerful divine beings. If we see ourselves in this way, we have a new set of possibilities to explore.

In today's episode, Monica teaches us: 

1. We do not end...we continue....and when we do, we have to ask the question, "why are you still here?"
2. Our story is our superpower. We can write this story to change lives, build businesses, to impact others and it is the one thing we own that no one can take away from us. Why we do and say the things that we do is typically rooted in our story of origin.
3. When you are able to surrender to something bigger than yourself, magic happens.
4. We have to find our own path to healing. Therapy doesn't work for everyone. Take time to find what works for you. Sharing our story and being vulnerable can be the key that unlocks freedom.
5. Everything that comes to us is really just feedback. When you are experiencing a trigger, look into the past to discover the origin of your reaction in that moment. Ask WHY this situation became a trigger.The answer lays in the past.

You can find more of Monica at:

Website | monicawistomhq.com

Instagram | @monicawisdom

Now it's time to tell us YOUR story! We'd love to hear more about you! Please subscribe and leave us a review. Tell us who you are and why you love the Dear Midlife podcast! Our goal is to build a community of women so that we all have someone to turn to when we have a story to share. We want to be able to support women just like you and to let you know YOU are not alone in YOUR journey.

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