Shut up a Second

In which our heroes get let off the leash, run around the park some and get in trouble for rolling in something as they discuss dogs. We sigh in sadness as dogs break up the Beatles, cower in fear at a dog-run Russia, and ponder the effectiveness of corgis as weapons. Jackson has his taxes done by a rhinoceros, Tess owns the saddest penguin companions and Duscher just wishes his cheetah would stop asking about technology. It's a tail wagging, tongue lolling, flea-filled, fourth dog activity themed adventure, as two old dogs and one new dog refuse to learn new tricks and deliberately forget about some of their old ones.Want to help put our assortment of animals through puppy school? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in our cheetahs not mauling everybody to death. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably about six books on dogs. We guess.

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In which our heroes revisit the wondrous world of the animal kingdom by playing god and creating their own dream creatures that seemingly sit on the fence between adorable and terrifying. We discover how close monkeys are to driving cars and buying snacks, uncover some of the secret skills of farm animal and find a foolproof of getting rid of foxes. EJ has an emotional connection to Finding Nemo, Alli bases her expertise on the mysteries of the sea by her childhood drawings and Marley just wants know who the biggest jerk of the animal kingdom is. So join the gang as they get in touch with their animal instincts. It’s far from purr-fect. Want to help discover who is the biggest jerk of the animal world once and for all? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in this ever changing mystery. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably more tangible evidence on animals there.

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In which our heroes give up on finding Duscher a valentine, notice how long it's been since we recorded anything, and leap into the studio to bust out something before the big day. We discuss EJ's inability to refer to her own genitals, Saint Valentine healing a jailer’s daughter, and a pie company called dicks. EJ can't stand some of the Care Bears, Zoe intends to spend the day throwing things at happy people, and Duscher just wishes he wasn't so attracted to bitches in glasses. So go out and desperately buy a cassette, record this episode onto a mix tape, and ruin another perfectly good Valentine’s Day. You’re welcome.Want to help EJ buy a matching hat for her boyfriend pillow this valentine’s day? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in her sad, lonely life. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s still probably a book or two about love and maybe some on the importance of solitude.

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In which our heroes are still taking a break from recording, still spending a small amount of time with our loved ones, so we’re re-releasing our 2014 Valentines Day Special. Duscher still hasn’t found himself a new lady and/or man for the big day and the clock is ticking! We discuss yeast infections, whether or not ties are dicks and what is the most ideal Valentine’s Day experience. Jackson just can’t handle dog genitals, Marley is a bit iffy about Monkeys, and EJ can't explain chia pets to save her life. So pick up the last remaining wilted flowers from the 24 hour florist that we inexplicably have in this country, re-wrap that box of half-eaten chocolates and realise that this was still a bad idea and you still have no clue what romance is.Want to help EJ buy a fetching scarf to match that sweater vest for her boyfriend pillow this valentine’s day? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in her sad, lonely life. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s still probably a book or two about love and maybe some on the importance of solitude.

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In which our heroes take a break from recording, spend a small amount of time with some loved ones and re-release our 2013 Valentines Day Special in an attempt to buy Duscher enough time to find himself a new lady and/or man for the big day. We discuss our worst valentines, make our opinion known on the issue of friendzoning, and decide the ideal amount of pubic hair. Jackson uses the phrase 'Kid Cancer', Zammit doesn't understand the point of roses, and EJ tries valiantly to defend herself. So gather up your significant other, curl up in front of the fireplace, and realise all too suddenly that this was a bad idea and you have no clue of what romance is.Want to help EJ buy a sweet sweater vest for her boyfriend pillow this valentine’s day? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in her sad, lonely life. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably a book or two about love and maybe some on the importance of solitude.

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In which our heroes find a zone of immunity where they can conspire to their hearts content, have our in-house lawyer Charles on speed dial as we plan all sorts of crime. From inconspicuously stealing a bridge to straight up murdering a guy, we expand our criminal MO by taking pointers from failed crimes and crimes most foul. Jackson decides that universal animal nap time could help him with his poaching, Zoe is shaking up the art world by replacing priceless art works with pictures of herself, and Duscher just wants to fight crime by committing crime with RoboCop. So join the gang as they enjoy diplomatic immunity. It’s barely legal.Want to help pay for our legal retainer? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in ensuring Charles can keep sending his kids to private school. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s sure to be a Law and Order-esc crime novel to keep you guessing until you find out it was the butler the whole time.

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In which our heroes honour our favourite 18th Century Earl by getting yelled at for constantly smearing greasy meat stains all over their clothes, playing-cards and other people and so come up with a genius idea; the humble sandwich. We explore the what exactly makes a sandwich a sandwich, play the Sandwich Name Game all the youths keep talking about and delve further into the Earl of Sandwich’s life than we’ve ever gone before. Jackson reveals his secret bidet shame, Duscher regales us all with the sad tale of Keanu and the non-eaten sandwich and Alli just believes some sandwiches are better underwater. So join the gang as they bite off more than they can chew and try to catch their cheetah sandwich. We promise to not leave you hungry for more.Want to help us keep our meats from getting greasy? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can keep our fingers dry whilst we play cards.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least six book about John Montagu.

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In which our heroes are hoarded by dragons, pilfered by tomb raiders and plundered by pirates as they go looking for treasure. We discuss the reliabilities of old gypsies, our concerns with baboon wrestling, and the griffon epidemic of World War II. Jackson tries to explain the theft of Russia's Amber Room, Tessa dies far too easily in the jungle and Duscher just wants to forge some of Hitler's art. So join the gang as they explore a temple after trekking through a dense jungle to steal a cursed idol only to be inevitably betrayed by an array of lackeys. Not all that glitters is gold, but some of it might be.To help us on our treasure hunting expedition head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can make a difference to our non-treasure filled lives.And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least four books about treasure.

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In which our heroes pulse like a quasar, suck like a black hole and explode like a dying sun as they discuss space. We try and decipher the best way to go into space, shed light on the thing wheel and worship the humble dung beetle. Jackson gets caught in orbit, Zoe misunderstands some fundamental things about space and Duscher just wants everyone to know how awesome astronauts are. So hold your breath because we didn't supply you with a helmet as you join the gang in space but die anyway because it's the pressure that kills you. It’s a faster than light space adventure as we choof off into the night sky and become one with the universe.To help Duscher’s lifelong aspiration of becoming an astronaut a reality head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can make a difference to his little boy dreams.

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In which our heroes jingle bells, deck halls, and ride in Santa’s sleigh tonight as we bring you our 2014 Sanspants Christmas Special. In this episode we look at the still mystifying nature of eggnog, the medical benefits of beetles, and the excitement of getting new pants. Jackson is too smug about ghosts, Zoe leads the chorus in a Sanspants christmas carol, and Duscher just wants to wear his pants however he sees fit. So join the gang as they sing off key, play a humble game of eggnoggin’ and revisit the magicless past of Duscher. It’s a boiling hot, seafood filled, Tim Allen inspired holiday special, and you've got to wonder if we'll ever really get eggnog. Merry Christmas.To help us buy presents for each other and our loved ones head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can make a difference to our Christmas cheer levels.

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