Shutdown Fullcast

In keeping with Fullcast tradition, we belly-flop into the offseason by restarting our Disasters Playlist, this time centered around “times you have set things on fire that were not supposed to be on fire.” 

Includes the following instant-classic story elements:

           • “We did not have a fireplace.”

           • “The smoke was visible for miles around.”

           • “Ants survived.”

           • “It was like a terra-cotta jet engine.”

Also, this very quickly becomes our long-awaited musical episode. Surprise! 

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Ill-advised napping locations we have known

Sark Week goes sideways, fast

Injuries invented during the course of this episode: sex hernia, gamer’s knee, online toe 

Right, the title game 

So: What is “the failure state”?

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- Definitely forgot we had to do one more show before the title game! We are so tired!

 - Magnets, fondly remembered

 - Make time for an old friend, and for Meatloaf

 - If you’ve read this far, we feel comfortable disclosing you are now a member of the John Wick Fitness Empirium. Cancel anytime! 

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* Folks, they called the Senate runoffs pretty much right in the middle of recording this thing, and then they cancelled Caillou, and we found out about all of this mid-show, so just bear with us okay

* There may or may not be a title game in five days, sure 

* Holly becomes the final Fullcasteer to come up with a voice that she is never allowed to do on the show again

* A robust amount of NFL coaching carousel analysis

* You’re probably overpaying for snakes

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—Jacksonville’s mayor wants to fight people

—Why you can’t legally call paying Lane Kiffin “an investment”

—Ryan tells Notre Dame why you can’t be aggressively cautious during a football game 

—Clay Helton, formulated for the sensitive stomachs of senior cats 

—KIRBY!

—The Italian Christmas Donkey was the Lamborghini of 32 AD 

—#Justice4Han

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Ted Lasso, McDonalds meme history, and surprisingly affordable Soviet underwater spear guns: You’re g-d right it’s bowl season

Ronald Reagan’s arming Bills fans! Flee for your lives!

We finally get Ryan to admit he’s our lawyer, on tape

One (1) reader question, answered

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Christmas gifts, reviewed 

Fast food chicken situations of the Roman Empire, reviewed  

Some football, reviewed 

A slightly abridged history of medicine 

Cheez-It Bowl preview! Sure!

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Lotta sniffles in this episode folks! Hope you and yours are holding up better than we are

On the anniversary of Spencer revealing he thinks reindeer are some sort of dog, we have just about got him convinced sharks are mammals

A rare appearance by our producer, Surber, with thrilling results 

An extended bedtime story to remind our readers of the true reason for the season: goat festival crimes

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- Jetski crimes, again

 - But different jetski crimes, this time

 - Playoffs, sure, whatever 

 - Ryan makes Holly cry, not for any of the usual reasons

 - Any of y’all ever try fishing with a Taser? Please let us know

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--A man jetskied across the Irish Sea for love and he wasn't even from Alabama

--How a dad jailed for jetskiing to another country could never parent effectively again

--Ryan auditions for the CFB Playoff committee

--Actual impassioned profane hollerin' about the very bad playoff rankings

--No one cares about downtrodden underdog USC (no really, it's a thing)

--"When Greg McElroy is on the barricades with you, it's over"

--Talking about games no one wants to happen this weekend because everyone is very tired

--Texas A&M vs. Ole Miss: The game where everything's made up, and nothing matters 

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