Shutdown Fullcast

You know how we did a live show in Austin centered around animal mishaps? Well, there were several stories you submitted that we did not feel comfortable reading into a microphone in front of actual people. So we saved them for this episode, where we could read them into a microphone to digital people, who are not real. Topics include:

- Ocean's 11 But Dogs

- Prissy, the Radical Feminist Cow

- Woodchucks + Fireworks = John Wuck

- Tom Hanks as a unit of measurement

- Unregistered Iowa Petting Zoo(s)

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Blood Week: the week (or weeks) in a college football season where maximum chaos is realized, and the status quo is upturned by as many upsets as the sport can stuff into its craw in one stretch. That usually happens in the middle of the schedule, but there's no rule saying Blood Week has to be then. So we decided to hunt for the bloodiest Week 1 in the sport's history. Without totally spoiling it, our choice includes:

- A wasted trip to Anaheim, California

- Golf clubs used as rescue devices

- A mountain hero named Earl

Remember - if you enjoy the Shutdown Fullcast, tell a friend and leave us a nice review! If you do not enjoy the Shutdown Fullcast, write your thoughts down on a letter that will be sent to us only upon your death! We won't be able to argue with you! Ultimate victory is within your grasp!!

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It's time for you to get some religion, and by religion I mean finding the story, character, or book of the Bible that best fits different college teams and entities. We split the good book into different assignments: Ryan leads off with the New Testament, Holly gives us a very personal digression into the Book of Revelation, and Jason takes the Old Testament with a few bonus books. Spencer? Spencer didn't do his homework, and is condemned to Hell. Or possibly saved from Hell because this podcast concept is inherently blasphemous? Unclear. 

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Did you know: there are no college football games scheduled to be played in May, or June, or July of this year. So we might as well talk about old games we enjoy rewatching. (We does not mean Ryan, who lives in a remote hamlet without access to electricity. Stupid, stupid Ryan.)

Topics include:

Welcome to the EDSBS Book Club, may god have mercy on your soul / College football games we all would watch right now / The time Oregon blew a 31-0 lead to a TCU team with a backup QB named "Bram Kohlhausen" / A review of infamous and inhumane beatdowns we would watch with glee

POWERED BY BIG ANGEL ENERGY

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This is what happens when you get five people who have spent way too much time watching or rewatching comic book movies and then let them indulge their most polarizing selves. Captain Marvel is a NASCAR movie. Terrence Howard should have stayed as Rhodey! The MCU did Brexit! 

Thank you for listening to our college football podcast.

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Harry Lyles Jr. joins us for a very serious and analytical 2019 NFL Mock Draft, because we definitely know all of the team needs in this Draft and have ground as much tape as humanly possible to identify breakout stars and busts. We would never make a bunch of dumb joke picks that left one of the best players completely skipped over in the first round while a kicker got taken in the top 15. And we definitely would not forget who plays for the Miami Dolphins! That's not this show, because this show is about SERIOUS FOOTBALL SERIOUSNESS. 

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We're here to ponder which schools would be the funniest first-time national champs in college football (oh right, we cover college football). Oregon is not discussed in this context, because Michael Dyer was down.

And first, let's discuss the funnest parts of the 2019 Charity Bowl, which allows you to: 

- help people in need 

- shame your rivals

- force Spencer to get a 1990 Citrus Bowl Champs tattoo

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- But first, Holly has some enriching homework for you

- How pro wrestling explains college football and everything else

- Kofi Kingston vs. Vince McMahon, the most uncomfortably on-the-nose wrestling feud

- A lot about LeBron, for some reason

- That's a lie

- There's never a reason

- Some more wrestling stuff happens?

- The offseason will continue and some day the universe will end, thanks for listening

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Los Homely Boys got together in person to talk about the important social issue of the day: Dan Mullen's billowy pants. Per Fullcast statute, there is also some discussion of the Bible and Star Wars, both of which, again, are related to pants. Don't worry, though - we've made our own individual fashion choices that didn't pan out, and so did a couple SPECIAL TEMPORARY GUESTS! 

Also! If you haven't yet, please take the Vox Media Podcast Newtork audience survey! It takes no more than five minutes, and it really helps out the show. You can find that survey here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/3X6WMNF

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What podcast can take a screenshot of a simple chyron error from a local news station in Alabama and turn it into a hastily planned, poorly recorded episode about the SEC Sex Tournament as if that's a real thing or a worthwhile topic? You know who, buddy. You know damn well who.

Please note: no episode of the Shutdown Fullcast feels safe for children but this one probably shouldn't even be played on a device that children might later use. Just throw your phone into one of those biohazard bins at the doctor's office after you finish listening.

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