Social Skills Coaching

One of the best ways to embody practical intelligence is Charlie Munger’s concept of mental models. These are heuristics, or handy rules of thumb, for how to approach situations in smart ways. It’s when we try to freelance everything in our lives that we truly run into trouble, so having (relatively) universal guidelines or blueprints for how to act intelligently and efficiently can be invaluable.

Among the innumerable approaches that exist, we talk about the Pareto Principle (80/20 ratio), thinking about secondary consequences, distinguishing between feeling and thinking, satisficing (satisfy + suffice), prioritizing motion over planning, and addressing Murphy’s Law (whatever can go wrong, will go wrong).

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Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

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We end the book right back where we start—with questions. And this is illustrated through the parable of the happiness of fish, as noted by Chinese philosopher Zhuangzi. No one can peer into the minds of others—and this is shown right from the outset in two ways. Zhuangzi first assets that he knows the happiness of the fish, but in fact, he is not presupposing to know their state of mind, only that fish are simply doing what fish do, and this is their happiness. It’s that simple. Zhuangzi knows the happiness of fish because fish do what fish do and he can see them doing it. However, Huizi points out that Zhuangzi is not a fish, so how could he possibly know what brings them happiness, just as the two of them cannot possibly know what the other knows or does not know. If Zhuangzi cannot know the happiness of fish because he is not a fish, then, applying the same reasoning, Huizi cannot know whether Zhuangzi knows it or not. If the first premise is correct, then this conclusion would certainly seem to logically follow. And in the end, maybe it’s all a dream, and we’re just a butterfly waking up from a deep nap in mid-spring.

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/ThoughtExpKing

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

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One of the main things that prevents us from being humorous and funny is that we take everything too literally, and we use boring language in doing so. This is a difference in mindset, similar to the play versus conversing/discussion dichotomy we had earlier. We miss easy opportunities when we can realize that some vocabulary choices are better than others, and that we have multiple chances a day to use them. So the first step in being funnier is to use language that is both specific and paints vivid images in people’s minds.

The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, and Magnetic By Patrick King

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#AmySchumer #VividImagery #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

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Indecisiveness comes down to an intolerance of uncertainty, and often to informational overload. In our modern, technologically advanced world, we’re constantly bombarded with an endless set of options in all spheres of life. We’re also saturated with all the information we come across on a daily basis, and this makes it hard to decide on things because we’re always looking for a better choice. We can consciously decide, however, to embrace imperfection and take on risks in the service of achieving what we care about.

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at [email protected] or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#analysis #indecision #indecisiveness #intolerance #perfectionism #Uncertainty #TheBlockOfIndecision #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

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Reciprocity of liking—a phenomenon in which choosing to like somebody first makes it much more probable that they’ll like you back. The immediate application of this is simple—when you meet somebody new, make it known that you like them and you’ll increase the odds of building a positive relationship with them. But do we actually like each other, or is it all perception?

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at [email protected] or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Or send us an email at [email protected]

Hear it here - https://bit.ly/socialintelking

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

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The concept of validation is especially relevant in our present age because of how socially isolated we are as individuals. Validating someone is a way of expressing solidarity with them, and makes the other person feel heard and understood. It adds a richness and sense of ease to life that would otherwise be missing if we felt that we have to go through life’s travails alone and without anyone else’s support.

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at [email protected] or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Get the audiobook on Audible http://bit.ly/listenhearvalidateking

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#validation #willpower #WhyValidationIsSoImportant #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching

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Perception can also be shown to be wholly unimportant in the grand scheme of things, as demonstrated by Wittgenstein’s beetle in a box thought experiment. Suppose we have a box of objects that we call beetles, and so does everyone else. The thing is, no one can ever look inside each other’s boxes, so it’s a total mystery as to what a beetle means to all of us. The analogy is obvious: the box is each individual mind, the beetle is the mysterious and ineffable contents of that mind, and the fact that other peoples’ boxes are hidden from us is the idea that we never truly have access to another being’s mind. The way we perceive a simple beetle, and extrapolating to how we see the world, is singular. We can guess, and we can assume, but our deepest experiences and perceptions are fundamentally closed off to others, and permanently private.

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/ThoughtExpKing

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

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Three mental models are specifically suited toward our purpose of practical intelligence and acting within the bounds of common sense. First, we discuss the difference between evaluating a process versus an outcome. Often we can fall into the trap of outcome bias, wherein we ignore our decision process simply because something turned out favorably.

Questions or comments regarding the podcast? Email the show at [email protected] or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Hear it here - https://bit.ly/practicalintelligenceking Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#PracticalIntelligence #ThinkCritically #AnalyzeDeeply #PatrickKing #SocialSkillsCoaching #BeatingCognitiveBias #RussellNewton #NewtonMG

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Saying no is one of the toughest situations in everyday life because it is a mini confrontation every single time. But there are many ways to make this part of life smoother and less tense.

Start saying “I don’t” versus “I can’t” because the former implies a policy, whereas the latter implies something to be negotiated. Likewise, get into the habit of saying no to specific and broad categories because that also implies a policy that you don’t make exceptions for.

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at [email protected] or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#ICan’tvsIDon’t #SayNo #RussellNewton #NewtonMG

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It is all too easy to fall into the trap of replacing loose boundaries with ones that are overly rigid. We might feel like we are protecting ourselves by erecting a huge emotional wall around us, but in truth, we are simply insulating ourselves from positive experiences that are necessary to live a fulfilling life. As such, we must discover the mean that lies between these two types of boundaries. Those are the ones that we should aim to integrate into our daily lives.

Boundaries that are too weak will inevitably be an emotional drain on our mental health. When we keep such boundaries, we implicitly allow others to trample over us. This leads to us feeling used, unappreciated, and taken for granted. On the other hand, rigid boundaries can make us feel extremely lonely. It is understandable to be defensive and overprotective if we have been betrayed or hurt by those closest to us, but keeping everyone at an arm’s length only leaves us feeling alone and uncared for.

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at [email protected] or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Hear it here - https://bit.ly/establishboundariesking

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

#blackandwhitethinking #ASimplePyramid #SettingBoundaries #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PatrickKing #PatrickKingConsulting #SocialSkillsCoaching

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