Social Skills Coaching

It is all too easy to fall into the trap of replacing loose boundaries with ones that are overly rigid. We might feel like we are protecting ourselves by erecting a huge emotional wall around us, but in truth, we are simply insulating ourselves from positive experiences that are necessary to live a fulfilling life. As such, we must discover the mean that lies between these two types of boundaries. Those are the ones that we should aim to integrate into our daily lives.

Two girls order iced teas at a restaurant. The first girl drinks hers quickly and orders four more, while the other drinks her first one slowly. The teas were poisoned, but only the second girl dies. How?

What disappears the moment you say its name?

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Email the show at [email protected] or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment Or send us an email at [email protected]

Hear it here - https://bit.ly/usingriddles Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence.

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

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Say you’re shopping for home theatre equipment. You go to a showroom and see a couple different models. One’s extremely expensive, features a lot of bells and whistles, and takes up a lot of space. The other’s a bit cheaper and smaller, but to the naked ear, doesn’t seem to be much different in terms of quality.

You might be persuaded to buy the bigger and more expensive one because, since it’s bigger and more expensive, it must work better. But it puts a serious dent in your bank account and is too big for your living room. And you might not even really be able to tell how well the sound’s working.

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Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. emotional and social intelligence. Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

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This chapter will teach you how to be a witty comeback machine. If you’re the kind of person who thinks of smart replies twenty minutes after a conversation ends, the techniques laid out here will help you come up with them much quicker.

It’s a matter of thinking non-literally, non-conventionally, and non-linearly, and realizing that a conversation is an opportunity for play rather than information dissemination. If someone is teasing you, there are two methods you can use which will help you come up with a witty comeback. You can either take the thing they’re teasing you about and exaggerate it to the point of absurdity, or point out a funny, but the positive side effect of that thing you’re being teased about. While delivering comebacks, it's important to use the right tone and act like you can take a joke. Nobody likes a bad sport, and you’ll want to indicate that you’re joking through your demeanor and expressions. Smile wryly after saying your comeback, and use a tone that conveys indifference rather than annoyance.

The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, and Magnetic By Patrick King

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/WittyBanterKing

For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

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We also wait for people to take action because of the symbolic value we assign to things. We believe other people’s symbolic value matches ours, which should inform their actions. But this is again projecting onto other people and depending on them to read our minds. We also can’t subtly try to condition people into feeling the same symbolic value as us.

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at [email protected] or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Read the show notes and/or transcript at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/assertivenessking For a free minibook on conversation tactics, visit Patrick King Consulting at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

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We can change our core beliefs by slowly reworking our self-narratives. We can do this by accepting our negative emotions with self-compassion and curiosity before we gently rewrite our stories. Avoid the temptation to compare yourself to others, especially if you are active on social media. Places like Instagram make you feel bad about your life because you’re constantly subjected to a barrage of updates with all of your friends posting about their successes, vacations, etc. However, it is important to remember that nobody posts their failures and dull moments and that their reality is likely to be much closer to your own.

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at [email protected] or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Hear it here - https://bit.ly/thinkwithintentionking

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

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Finally, in case all else escapes your mind, there are three incredibly helpful acronyms that can assist you in never running out of things to say on the fly. These are: HPM, SBR, and EDR. HPM stands for History (your personal experience with the topic), Philosophy (your opinion on the topic), and Metaphor (what the topic makes you think of). SBR stands for Specific (more detail on the topic), Broad (broader context of topic), and Related (related topics). EDR stands for Emotion (the emotions the topic evokes in the other person), Detail (more detail on the topic), and Restatements (restating the topic to prompt greater elaboration).

Questions or comments regarding the podcast?

Email the show at [email protected] or let us know what you think at http://bit.ly/pkcomment

Better Small Talk: Talk to Anyone, Avoid Awkwardness, Generate Deep Conversations, and Make Real Friends By Patrick King

Get the audiobook on Audible at https://bit.ly/BetterSmallTalk

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

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Existence and identity are deep topics. One is reminded of Descartes’ immortal declaration of “I think, therefore I am.” In a way, that’s where we are headed in this chapter. The concept of personal identity makes you confront how you choose to define it, and also forces you to think about how you choose to define yourself.

We start with the thought experiment of Theseus’ Ship, which asks you to evaluate at which point a ship is still that same ship if you continually remove its components, and even more so if you remove the components and then replace them with entirely different ones. So it forces you to consider what you use to construct an identity. Is it just the individual components? Is there something about a ship that can be more than the sum of its parts? And what about us—what makes us a particular person, and if removed from our physical body, what would we then become?

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This chapter has a tall task—to get you to think about your thinking. When we’re not engaging in what is known as metacognition, it’s easy to veer off the path of clear thought. You must become aware of your thought patterns and where you tend to stray. Watch yourself and try to evaluate what’s happening inside your brain.

This process begins with System 1 and 2 thinking, as conceived by Daniel Kahneman. System 1 thinking is quick, instinctual, and decisive—and also often incorrect. System 2 thinking is measured, calm, and analytical—and far slower and more difficult. Unfortunately, the brain operates on the principle of least resistance, so while System 1 thinking is first and foremost, we want to get into the habit of System 2 thinking on a consistent basis. The easier and more familiar a task becomes, the more instinctual and quick it can be, so the way to clearer thinking is consistent repetition and practice.

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Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmgAwareness

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Frames are a different way to imagine listening styles.

Frames are much more fluid, and simply ask you to consider what someone’s overall goals or the purpose for the interaction is. What is theirs, what is yours, and do they match? If not, utilize your new understanding and make them match. An easy way to think about frames is in terms of an acting scene. All the actors are on the same page, working toward the same goal, and trying to capture an emotional payoff. What happens if one of the actors wants to wing it for a bit, and expound on their character’s love of the sea? Nothing good.

Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/listenintentionking

Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes

Learn more or get a free mini-book on conversation tactics at https://bit.ly/pkconsulting

For narration information visit Russell Newton at https://bit.ly/VoW-home

For production information visit Newton Media Group LLC at https://bit.ly/newtonmg

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