Softly Unfiltered

Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women.

At some point, certain things stop feeling fun, dramatic, or worth entertaining and start feeling exhausting.

In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn talk about the things they're officially too grown to still be doing: passive-aggressive friendships, situationships, emotional chaos, repeating boundaries, male-centered friendships, people who want you dysregulated, and relationships that cost too much peace.

This one is lighter, a little shady, and very honest about the habits and dynamics that used to feel normal but no longer match the women we're becoming.

We get into:

• Why jabs disguised as jokes can reveal something deeper

• Why some people get irritated when you stay calm during conflict

• The difference between caring and becoming emotionally reactive

• Breaking generational patterns of chaos

• Why fighting is not proof that someone loves you

• Why we're too grown for situationships and wasted time

• The problem with passive aggression in adult friendships

• Why boundaries should not need endless explanations

• Being too grown for male-centered friendships

• Why protecting your peace may cost you relationships

Today's Soft Landing:

Being grown is not about having everything figured out, it is about recognizing what costs too much and choosing not to keep paying for it with your peace. At some point, being too grown is discernment. It is knowing what no longer matches the woman you are becoming.

What is one thing you are officially too grown to still be doing?

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

Visit softlyunfiltered.com

Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women.

The glow up after a hard season is rarely just about how you look. It is about the boundaries you finally set, the patterns you stop repeating, the peace you protect, and the version of yourself you become after life forces you to tell yourself the truth.

In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn talk about what really changes after heartbreak, betrayal, burnout, disappointment, or any season that forces you to rebuild. We get into why women are praised for surviving but rarely supported while they heal, what it means to stop healing for other people, and why accountability is one of the biggest parts of a real comeback.

We also get into:

• Why the real glow up starts internally

• The same man, different font dating pattern

• Why women are praised for surviving in silence

• Healing for yourself instead of healing for a man

• The therapy session that changed a relationship

• How accountability and stronger boundaries change your life

• Why staying too long is something you may have to own

• Why a 10-step glow-up routine cannot replace inner work

• Nervous-system regulation, trauma, stress, and the physical glow

• Why your vision board matters less than who you need to become

• How showing up for yourself consistently creates the real comeback

Today's Soft Landing:

The real glow up is not always what people can see. Sometimes it is quieter than that. It is stronger boundaries, deeper peace, clearer standards, and finally becoming someone you can trust. Pain may have changed you, but that does not mean it wasted you.

What hard season changed you for the better, even if you didn't understand it at the time?

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

Everybody has an opinion about your life, but they are not the ones who have to live with the consequences of your choices.

In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn talk about self-trust, discernment, projection, people-pleasing, intuition, and what it actually looks like to stop asking other people to approve a life they will never have to live. We get into the subtle ways people sow doubt, why success can change relationships, protecting big dreams before they are ready to be shared, and learning to be okay with being misunderstood.

We also get into:

• How to tell the difference between wise counsel and projection

• Why some people cheer for you until you start to pass them

• Being willing to be misunderstood as you grow

• The line between protecting your plans and shrinking yourself

• Why big dreams can scare the people you tell

• Trusting your intuition and listening to your body

• A relationship dream that kept sending the same warning

• Why the highest form of peace may be letting go of the need to be understood

• Being unapologetic about your standards

• Why not every opinion deserves weight

Today's Soft Landing:

You do not need everyone to understand the life you are building. Some people will doubt you because they cannot see it yet. Some will project because they never tried. Their fear does not have to become your ceiling. Everybody with an opinion does not have wisdom.

Whose opinion have you been giving too much power over your life?

📩 Email us: [email protected]

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Episode 100. Almost two years of showing up, evolving, changing our minds, changing our standards, and becoming women our episode-one selves might not fully recognize.

In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn reflect on what has changed since the beginning of the podcast — from relationships and friendships to career, confidence, generosity, dating standards, and the way they see themselves.

We talk about why growth is supposed to change you, why endings are not always bad, what we no longer believe about the ‘dream job,’ and why doing the work on yourself creates a kind of confidence that nobody else can give you.

We also get into:

• Why people sometimes call you fake when you evolve

• Learning to embrace endings and changing seasons

• Why dream jobs in corporate America no longer feel real to us

• The 50/50 conversation and why splitting bills does not automatically make life equal

• Grieving the version of yourself that gave too much

• How self-work changes your confidence

• What we hope the next version of ourselves looks like by Episode 200

• Purposeful, peaceful, pretty, and paid

Today’s Soft Landing: You are allowed to become someone your old self would not fully recognize. Change does not make you fake. Growth does not make you disloyal. Sometimes the point is to outgrow the version of you that only knew how to survive.

What is one way that you have changed that you are finally proud of?

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

Visit softlyunfiltered.com

Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women.

Your feelings are valid, but that does not mean every emotion needs to become an immediate reaction.

This week Blake and Ashlyn are talking about emotional maturity, anger, hurt, boundaries, self-awareness, and what it actually looks like to process your feelings before they control how you move.

From needing time before a difficult conversation to deciding what does and does not need to be addressed, this episode is about learning how to feel deeply without handing your emotions the steering wheel.

In this episode:

· Why adults struggle to name what they are actually feeling

· When anger is covering hurt, embarrassment, rejection, or fear

· Why taking time to process can be healthier than reacting immediately

· Why nobody owes you anything and how that can change your expectations

· How emotional reactivity shows up in relationships, friendships, and work

· Why Black women often have to regulate differently in corporate spaces

· What lashing out can permanently change in a relationship

· Why not everything that bothers you needs to be addressed

· How being constantly outside or in relationships can become a way to avoid yourself

Today’s Soft Landing: You do not have to suppress your emotions to be mature. You just have to stop handing them the steering wheel. Feel it, name it, sit with it, and then choose a response your future self can live with.

What emotion do you usually react from before you understand what is underneath it?

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

Visit softlyunfiltered.com

Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women.

Have you ever looked back at an old version of yourself and thought, who the hell was that? This week Blake and Ashlyn are laughing lovingly at the things they used to tolerate, believe, excuse, and over explain while unpacking what changed along the way.

From trusting your intuition to forgiving yourself for accepting less, this conversation is about the standards, boundaries, and self trust that come with finally knowing better.

In this episode:

· Why your body can recognize a red flag before your mind catches up

· Why women are often taught to second guess their intuition

· The role luck, access, and connections can play in success

· How to forgive yourself for accepting less than you deserved

· Why relationships can start to feel like performance

· How dating changes when you stop romanticizing potential

✨Today’s Soft Landing: You are allowed to laugh at who you used to be without hating her. She may have accepted less than she deserved, but she was also learning, surviving, and gathering the wisdom you get to live out today.

What is something you used to tolerate that your current self would never accept?

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

softlyunfiltered.com

Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women.

Who gets called a leader, who is actually doing the leading, and how many of our beliefs about men, women, submission, and power did we inherit without ever questioning them?

This week Blake and Ashlyn use the dynamics of the lion and lioness as a jumping off point to unpack the narratives we are taught about leadership. They get into why providing alone does not make someone a leader, how women can be taught to shrink themselves in the name of submission, why titles and appearances can be mistaken for competence, and what healthy leadership actually looks like.

We got into:

• Why men being natural leaders is a social agreement, not an unquestionable fact

• The male loneliness conversation and why women are increasingly dating for character

• Why a title, money, or status does not automatically make someone a good leader

• The difference between leadership, dominance, respect, and control

• Why some women protect a man’s image by biting their tongue and making themselves smaller

• Today’s Unfiltered Moment featuring testimonies from men who admitted marrying women they were not in love with

• How beauty, submission, convenience, and ego can become part of the decision to marry

Today’s Soft Landing: Leadership is not a title you inherit. It is a responsibility you earn. The people worth following do not need to make you feel smaller to prove that they are powerful. Real leadership feels like wisdom, care, consistency, and safety.

What is one belief about leadership, love, or womanhood that you have had to unlearn?

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women.

In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn are talking about what it really means to make yourself your number-one priority — especially as Black women who have been taught to carry, care, show up, and put everybody else first. They get into the guilt that can come with saying no, the difference between being considerate and abandoning yourself, and why choosing yourself is not selfish. It is self-preservation.

We got into:

• Why women — and Black women especially — can feel conditioned to put themselves second

• How to tell when helping someone has crossed the line into self-abandonment, resentment, or exhaustion

• Why being needed can feel like being loved and how fear of abandonment can make usefulness feel emotionally safe

• Why some relationships reveal themselves as transactional when you stop overgiving or set a boundary

• What it looks like to let grown adults handle their own feelings instead of carrying guilt over their reactions

• Why the guilt of saying no can be temporary while the cost of saying yes can last much longer

• Ashlyn's Unfiltered Moment on being the first woman in her bloodline who gets to choose what her life looks like

Soft Landing: You are allowed to care for people without disappearing inside their needs. You are allowed to be loving and still have limits. Making yourself a priority is not betrayal of others. It is a return to yourself.

If this episode resonated, tell us in the comments: where in your life do you need to choose yourself without apologizing?

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women.

In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn are talking about how easy it is to spend your whole life chasing the next milestone and completely miss the life happening in between. For high achievers especially, slowing down can feel uncomfortable. Rest can feel like falling behind. A random Tuesday can feel insignificant compared to the next promotion, trip, goal, or big win. But most of life is made up of those ordinary days.

We get into:

• Why social media conditions us to focus on big milestones

• The difference between happiness and being genuinely content

• How constantly chasing the next win can affect your nervous system

• Why productivity can start to feel addictive

• Why high achievers often feel guilty when they rest

• How scrolling can quietly turn inspiration into comparison

• Why trying to capture every moment can make you miss the actual experience

• Blake’s Unfiltered Moment on putting everyday problems back into perspective

• Ashlyn’s Unfiltered Moment on realizing how much she has already accomplished

Today’s Soft Landing: The good life is not waiting for you at the finish line, it is in the middle of everything you are already doing. The roses do not bloom later, they are blooming right now. Stop and smell them. Slowing down is not falling behind, it is how you make sure the life you are building is one that you are living and not just surviving.

Let us know in the comments what is one small ordinary moment from this past week that you actually stopped to enjoy.

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

Softly Unfiltered is a podcast exploring Black womanhood, identity, relationships, healing, self-worth, friendship, career, and the unspoken experiences of modern Black women.

In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn unpack a question many Black women know intimately: did independence protect us, or has it started keeping us from receiving the support and connection we actually want?

For many of us, independence was learned early. Being able to handle things ourselves became capability, safety, stability, and sometimes protection from disappointment. But when “I can do it myself” becomes “I have to do it myself because I cannot trust anyone else,” independence can start looking a lot more like hyper-independence.

We get into:

• The difference between healthy independence and hyper-independence

• Why one disappointing experience can make you stop asking for help altogether

• The fear that receiving help will make you look incapable

• Why receiving can feel harder than giving when control feels like safety

• Asking why we are unnecessarily struggling when support is already available

• Why respect, safety, and reliability matter before you can truly depend on someone

• How repeatedly choosing unreliable people can reinforce the belief that nobody is safe to rely on

• Ashlyn’s Unfiltered Moment on saying “I’m not okay” instead of automatically masking with “I’m good”

Today’s Soft Landing: Being capable does not mean you are meant to carry everything alone. Receiving support does not make you weak, dependent, or less powerful. It makes room for connection.

Where has your independence protected you, and where might it be keeping people out?

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @softlyunfilteredpod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!