Why do fuckboys… fuckboy? In this episode, we dig into the root of it.

Just ahead of the release of his new single Permanent Vacation (dropping June 18), genre-bending artist Duckwrth joins Shan for a raw and revealing conversation on why some men detach, ghost, and repeat the cycle. Together, they unpack how fear of commitment, cultural conditioning, and childhood wounds can all contribute to the “Certified Loverboy” identity.

Duckwrth opens up about his own evolution—from polyamory and emotional avoidance to developing a deeper sense of self-awareness and desire for real connection.

If you’ve ever dated a fuckboy, been affected by one, or are reflecting on your own relationship patterns, this one’s for you.

🎧 Watch the video for Permanent Vacation

💫 Follow Duckwrth on Instagram: @duckwrth

👥 Join the community at: loversbyshan.com/community

Have you ever wondered where your libido went? In this episode we do a deep dive on sexual slumps, low libido and lack of sexual desire that is frustrating (lack of desire that is not frustrating is not a problem!). We get to have this conversation first from the lens of Emmy-winning journalist Tamsen Fadal whose journey with low libido started in perimenopause and peaked on her honeymoon! From hot flashes and brain fog in the newsroom to bedroom low sex drive, Tamsen has become treasured for pulling back the curtain on midlife like never before. In this honest and empowering episode, menopause advocate Tamsen joins Shan for a conversation about menopause, sex drive and embracing life’s shifts.

Tamsen shares how a one-word note from her doctor "menopause...?" set off a journey she wasn’t prepared for, and how that diagnosis impacted her body, her identity, and her intimacy. From tough talks with her husband to the quiet shame so many women carry through midlife transitions, Tamsen reminds us that getting older isn’t the end of our sensual selves, it can actually be the beginning.

In part two of this episode we are giving you a MasterClass on low libido led by three doctors: OBGYN Dr. Mickey, lifestyle medical physician Dr Lean AND Pelvic Floor expert Dr. Janelle Frederick aka the Vagina Rehab Doctor.

This is a highlight of our hour and fifteen convo if you’d like to listen to the rest go to

Loversbyshan.com/community 

Follow Tamsen on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/tamsenfadal

Get her book How to Menopause

Listen to her podcast The Tamsen Show

Checkout her website https://www.tamsenfadal.com/ 

From fatphobia to racism to ageism and ableism, Kennedy challenges the norms around love, desirability, and who gets to be the “main character.” This one’s for anyone who's ever felt left out of the story — and is ready to take the pen back.

Bestselling romance author Kennedy Ryan (Before I Let Go, Reel) sits down with Shan to talk about what happens when women stop shrinking themselves to be chosen. From rewriting the stories we’ve inherited about sex, love, and partnership — to questioning why women with standards get labeled as “too much”

Kennedy opens up about what radical self-worth actually looks like, and why romance should always center women’s pleasure. This episode is a love letter to anyone who’s ever been made to feel like they’re asking for too much. Kennedy shares her love story of being married to Sam for over 20 years while raising their autistic son. 

This episode is sponsored by Lovers by Shan. Join the community today:

https://www.loversbyshan.com/community

Follow Kennedy on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/kennedyryan1

Get her latest book https://kennedyryanwrites.com/

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What kind of stories do we pass down through the way we love?

Actor and mom Xosha Roquemore sits down with Shan to talk about sex, self-worth, and how becoming a mother shifted everything. It starts with one question she asked that stopped us both: “Have the kind of sex you’d be proud to tell your daughter about.”

We talk about the early messages she got about sex, how sexual coercion showed up in her past, and why that experience still needs more language. She shares a fun one-night stand story and how even casual sex can feel good when it comes from choice, not pressure.

Xosha also talks about single motherhood, not as a hardship, but as a privilege. Being a mom has made her sharper, clearer, and way more intentional about who gets access to her.

This episode is sponsored by Lovers by Shan. Join the community today!

https://www.loversbyshan.com/community

Follow Xosha on socials

https://www.instagram.com/xoshro/

Get a Weekly Lovers Letter from Me

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Reclaiming Intimacy: Jessie Woo’s Journey Beyond Trauma. Comedian and media personality Jessie Woo joins Shan for a powerful conversation about healing, love, and rediscovering sexual joy after surviving sexual assault. Jessie shares her painful story of her assault and her joyful story of her relationship with Jay Allen aka Mr Easter.

Now Jessie is on the path to reclaiming pleasure and building healthy relationships, offering hope and practical insights for anyone on their own journey of recovery. This episode explores the complexities of intimacy after trauma, the importance of self-love, and why your story doesn’t end with someone else’s actions.

At the end of the episode, trauma expert Jimanekia Eborn joins us to discuss why sexual assault is a community issue plus she give her hot take on the Diddy trial and some people’s harmful comments about Cassie. 

How do you reclaim love and pleasure after trauma? How do you support survivors in your life?

We discuss these questions PLUS we have a free resource for sexual assault survivors and those navigating grief called The Grief Registry.

Content Warning:

This episode discusses sexual assault and trauma. Listener discretion is advised.

If you or someone you know is a survivor of sexual assault, resources and support are available. Visit RAINN.org or call 800-656-HOPE.

Thank You Jessie Woo

https://www.instagram.com/thejessiewoo/

Jess a Couple Things Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmu_OLDekKoPr-TgAY8lYIg

Get a Weekly Lovers Letter from Me

https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter

Lovers Community

If you’re interested in joining the Lovers community, click here to join the waitlist:

https://www.loversbyshan.com/community

Nothing good lasts. Right? In this deeply moving episode, Canadian singer-songwriter Alessia Cara joins Shan Boodram to explore the connection between intimacy, loss, and the fear of death (thanatophobia). Inspired by her song "Subside" from Love and Hyperbole, Alessia opens up about her personal journey with grief and how it shapes the way she loves and creates. Together, they dive into universal questions: How do we hold on to love while letting go of control? How does the fear of loss impact our relationships, intimacy, and even our everyday choices?

Esther Perel talks about how desire and loss can sit right next to each other. This made me think about how those ideas show up in everyday relationships: the death of connection, the slow fading of intimacy, or the fear that something we’ve built might not last.

When you zoom out, so much of how we attach, how we love, and even how we have sex is shaped by that deeper fear, what happens if I lose this? Or if I lose you? Or if I lose me in this?

http://alessiacara.com

https://www.instagram.com/alessiasmusic

https://www.youtube.com/@alessiacara

Thanks Dame for sponsoring this episode:

Dame makes products designed to enhance intimacy and connection—whether you’re with a partner or flying solo. 

http://dame.com/shan

Dame Coupon: SHAN15

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If you’re interested in joining the Lovers community, click here to join the waitlist:

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In this week’s episode, I sit down with Raven-Symoné and her wife Miranda Pearman-Maday for a refreshingly honest conversation about love and what it really takes to sustain a modern relationship. They share why they chose a sleep divorce, and how sleeping separately has deepened their emotional bond, sharpened their communication, and brought them even closer.

This episode is a masterclass in emotional maturity and intentional partnership, an invitation to rethink what a healthy marriage can look like in a monogamix relationship. 

Thank You Raven & Miranda

instagram.com/ravensymone

instagram.com/mirandamaday

Catch them on Tea Time with Raven & Miranda, a candid, cozy space where they spill everything from relationship realness to spiritual insights. Streaming now on YouTube.

In this week’s episode, I sit down with the legendary Cree Summer to talk about her journey through love, loss, and rediscovery in her 50s. Cree opens up about losing her sex drive during her marriage due to a lack of emotional shelter and the importance of finding a partner who provides safety and calm during life’s storms. We also dive into how her sex drive has improved post-menopause and what she’s looking forward to as she explores love again in her senior years. Whether you’re navigating relationships, rethinking intimacy, or seeking inspiration for your own journey, this conversation is a must-listen.

Episode Highlights:

Thank You Cree Summer

instagram.com/iamcreesummer

x.com/iamcreesummer

https://www.adultswim.com/videos/oh-my-god-yes-a-series-of-extremely-relatable-circumstances

Join My Mailing List

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Lovers Community

If you’re interested in joining the Lovers community, click here to join the waitlist:

https://www.loversbyshan.com/community

If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might need to hear Cree’s powerful story. For more conversations like this, visit LoversByShan.com and join our community for exclusive content, workshops, and more!

This is a rare solo episode with just Shan behind the mic—no guests, no distractions. Just her, answering some of your most pressing, unfiltered questions. From personal reflections to deeper dives on topics you’ve been dying to hear her take on, this one’s intimate, insightful, and straight from the heart

https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter

If you’re interested in joining the Lovers community, click here to join the waitlist:

https://www.loversbyshan.com/community

Are you ready to dive deep into the complexities of love, faith, and identity? In this thought-provoking episode, Shan Boodram sits down with B. Simone to discuss the transformative journey of embracing chastity, understanding soul ties, and exploring the nuances of identity and connection.

While B. Simone does not identify as demisexual, Shan suggests the possibility during their candid conversation, sparking an insightful dialogue about emotional intimacy and sexual attraction. This episode unpacks key topics like:

✨ What You’ll Learn:

Demisexuality: A sexual orientation where someone experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond.

Together, Shan and B. Simone explore how devotion to faith, self-love, and personal growth can shape intimate relationships and redefine what it means to truly connect with others.

Whether you’re curious about demisexuality, seeking clarity on soul ties, or inspired by the intersection of spirituality and sexuality, this episode is packed with insights that will leave you reflecting on your own path to sacred love.

🎧 Tune in now, and don’t forget to subscribe for more episodes on love, relationships, and self-discovery!

Thank You B. Simone

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Arya is a service for couples that helps them break their sexual routine with the help of an intimacy concierge that serves up curated sexy scenes monthly to sign up or learn more go to

http://arya.fyi/shan