Softly Unfiltered

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are talking about something that does not get said enough. Why is a woman's life never allowed to just be enough on its own? Why does a successful, accomplished, thriving single woman still get treated like she is missing something? And why is it always a man that is supposed to complete the picture? They get into the double standards, the societal pressure, the dating dynamics that come with being a high value woman, and what it actually looks like to build a full life without making love the missing piece.

We got into:

• Why successful single women are seen as incomplete while successful single men are called a catch

• How being a high value woman makes dating harder and why men resent the same qualities they were drawn to

• Why Blake said she refuses to be a single mother in a marriage and what that actually means

• The woman who has everything she ever dreamed of and is still considered less valuable without a man

• What Blake would do if she had a letter from God confirming her person was on the way

• Why Ashlyn says stop waiting on a man to make big life decisions and build your accomplishments now

• Blake's honest take on not wanting a merged life and what parallel tables actually look like in a relationshipIf this episode resonated drop a comment and let us know if you have ever felt like your life was not being taken seriously because you were single

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are breaking down something that a lot of high achieving women have felt but could never fully name. You can be the most confident, accomplished, successful woman in the room and still not believe you deserve the things you have built. That is the difference between self-esteem and self-worth. And in this episode they get deeply personal about where that gap comes from and what closing it actually looks like.

We got into:

• The real difference between self-esteem and self-worth and why you can have one without the other

• Why high achieving women often have the highest self-esteem and the lowest self-worth at the same time

• How achieving becomes the substitute for worth and what happens when the wins stop coming

• Blake asking herself what a less qualified white man would ask for in a salary negotiation and doing it anyway

• How toxic relationships and corporate environments both slowly rewrite how you see yourself

• Ashlyn opening up about a toxic relationship that took years to recover from and the stool that got moved

• Why your blessings are sometimes blocked by the dead weight you haven't let go of yet

• The mantra Blake gave herself in January that reframed everything

Mantra Moment: I am worthy not because of what I do but because of who I am. The work is closing that gap.

If this resonated drop a comment and let us know if you have ever realized you were confident on the outside but still accepting less than you deserved.

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are getting into something deeply personal and rarely talked about. The dating insecurities that come from growing up invisible. They talk about what happens when you grow up as a Black girl in predominantly white spaces, how not feeling chosen early on shapes your confidence, your standards, and your entire approach to love and dating as an adult.

We got into:

• How growing up without early romantic attention creates patterns you carry into adult dating

• Why Blake and Ashlyn both overperformed to earn love instead of knowing they were worthy just for existing

• Why dating is not encouraged for Black girls the way it is for their white counterparts and how that gap shows up later

• The painful experience of having parents who called you beautiful but a world outside that invalidated it

• Being dared to be asked out as a joke and not even knowing it at the time

• Why comparison is the biggest thief and how to protect your timeline when everyone around you seems ahead

• What Blake and Ashlyn would tell their younger selves and the message they want every invisible girl to hear

Mantra Moment: Growing up invisible doesn't mean you were unworthy. It means the environment didn't reflect your value back to you.

If this episode resonated drop a comment and tell us one thing you wish someone had told you when you were growing up and feeling unseen.

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode we are getting into something that a lot of women have experienced but not always been able to name. Dating the potential rich man. What happens when you believe in someone so much that you start abandoning your own timeline to help them stay on track with theirs? When does patience become emotional labor? And at what point do you have to look yourself in the eye and say this potential is not actualizing?

We got into:

• Why women stay too long in relationships with potential and how it becomes self abandonment without you even realizing it

• The difference between supporting someone and actually carrying them

• When consistency is the real measure of progress and what stalled ambition actually looks like

• Why society praises women for staying through cheating and hardship but shames them for walking away

• The moment you realize you thought you were showing grace but you were abandoning your own needs

• Why the keep a man conversation is never directed at men and what that man is doing to keep you

• What a healthy dynamic actually looks like when both people are contributing and building together

Mantra Moment: Potential is not a promise. Consistency is. Real partnership is built on patterns and not projections.

If this resonated drop a comment and let us know if you have ever realized you were investing in someone's future more than they were investing in their own present.

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode we sat down with Erica, The Confidence Coach (@theconfidencecoach), for a conversation that had us taking notes from start to finish. Erica is a mindset coach dedicated to helping women build self worth, set boundaries, and show up as their most confident selves. And she did not hold back.

We got into:

• The difference between being loved and being needed and why real love feels like exhale energy

• Why calling yourself low maintenance is actually inviting low effort love

• How to stop giving up your autonomy just because you like somebody

• Why Black women feel so guilty for choosing themselves and where that guilt actually comes from

• What survival mode actually looks like and how to recognize it in your own life

• What healthy self obsession really means and why it doesn't have to be healthy

• How to build and protect your routine in a relationship so you don't lose yourself

• The difference between guilt and discomfort when you say no

• Why confidence is curated daily and not something you wake up with

Mantra Moment: Do it uncertain. Do it scared. Do it imperfect. There is no such thing as the right time. The right time is right now. — Erica (@theconfidencecoach)

If this episode resonated drop a comment and let us know which part of Erica's message hit home for you.

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are getting into something every woman can relate to but Black women feel on a whole other level. Why do we spend $500 on beauty without blinking but feel guilty spending money on anything else? From hair as mental health to corporate America's beauty expectations, to the moment you realize marketing has been manipulating you the whole time, this one hits.

We got into:

• Why beauty spending feels like a necessity and not a luxury for Black women

• How our hair and appearance directly affect our mental health and confidence

• Navigating corporate spaces as a Black woman and why keeping your hair done is armor

• The coworker who asks if everything is okay the moment your hair isn't laid

• The unsolicited natural hair compliments and why we are over the small talk

• Whether beauty spending is about results or peace of mind

• How working in beauty and marketing changes the way you shop forever

• At what point beauty maintenance shifts from enjoyment to full obligation

• The tension between not wanting to dress up for a man and realizing you have to be what you want to attract

If this episode resonated, drop a comment and let us know what beauty expense you refuse to feel guilty about.

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode we are getting into the money talk nobody actually wants to have about dating. We are talking about financial expectations, effort and intention, and whether the real issue is men being under prepared or women raising their standards as they level up. We also get into the transactional nature of all relationships, why equally yoked has to mean more than just financially, and whether high standards are really entitlement or just incompatibility.

We got into:

• Whether dating standards have actually increased or women are just finally being honest

• The question every financially independent woman is asking: can you do for me what I do for myself?

• Why relationships are transactional and why pretending they aren't is how you end up pouring into the wrong person

• The TikTok story about the non-refundable flight, the nails, and why people got it wrong

• Why money on a dinner date is the easiest flex and not a real measure of compatibility

• The gap between how women show up for their friends versus how men show up in relationships

• Whether men are financially inadequate or just resistant to showing up for women they don't value

✨Mantra Moment: Standards are not a price tag. They are a reflection of values.

If this resonated, drop a comment and let us know if you've ever realized you weren't asking for too much, you were just asking the wrong person.

📩 Email us: ⁠[email protected]⁠

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode, we sat down with Asya, content creator and founder behind @conqueringasya, to talk about what it really looks like to build a platform as a Black woman in beauty and lifestyle. From navigating double standards with brand deals to unlearning the strong Black woman role in her relationship, Asya kept it real from start to finish.

We got into:

• How Asya started creating content in 2017 with a JC Penney credit card and Fenty Beauty

• Navigating beauty standards and double standards in brand partnerships as a Black woman

• Why code switching followed her from corporate America into content creation

• What it took to unlearn being the strong one and let her partner lead

• Living with PCOS and showing up on camera authentically anyway

• The friendship losses that came with leveling up and leaving certain chapters behind

• Why she shares on her own terms and how she protects her peace online

• What she tells anyone who wants to pursue content creation full time

Mantra Moment: "Conquer life's adversities that come at you. Don't crumble underneath the pressure." — Asya (@conqueringasya)

If this episode resonated, drop a comment and let us know which part of Aysa's story hit home for you.

📩 Email us: ⁠[email protected]⁠

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn get real about something nobody talks about enough.

What happens when you actually get what you worked for and it just feels... flat.

We talk about the anticlimactic feeling that comes after achieving a goal, why the chase can feel better than the arrival, and how we have both struggled to sit in wins without immediately moving the goalpost.

We got into:

• Why reaching a milestone can feel like a crash instead of a celebration

• The difference between gratitude and complacency and why we confuse them

• How success can become a way of avoiding healing

• External validation versus internal fulfillment and which one actually lasts

• Burnout, being overworked, and what capable does not mean willing really looks like

• What the younger version of you would think looking at where you are now

• How to actually celebrate yourself before you move on to the next thing

Mantra Moment: "Achieving a goal doesn't automatically create meaning or wholeness. Fulfillment often comes from how we live between milestones, not from the milestones themselves. Success is a moment, not an identity."

If this episode resonated, drop a comment and let us know if you've ever felt this way after reaching a big goal.

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts & Spotify!

In this episode, we sat down with Caitlyn Kumi, Forbes 30 Under 30 honoree, founder of Miss Empower Her, and content creator, to talk about building a career, a personal brand, and a full life as an ambitious Black woman.

We got into:

• Why protecting your peace can sometimes mean you stop seeing red flags

• The kind of corporate feedback Black women know all too well

• Why your personal brand can carry more weight than your resume

• Dating as a successful Black woman and the mindset shift that actually helps

• Her take on true balance and why something always has to fall

• Pattern recognition in adult friendships and how to trust what you see

• The three things every woman should be investing in right now

• What it really means to become a pretty wealthy woman

Mantra Moment: "People remember how you make them feel." Maya Angelou, shared by Caitlyn Kumi

If this episode resonated, drop a comment and let us know which part hit hardest.

📩 Email us: [email protected]

📱 Follow us on all platforms: @SuburbanBlackGirlPod

⭐ Leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify