Softly Unfiltered

Why is it that when Black women are quiet, reserved, or simply minding our business, the world rushes to call us “stuck up,” “bougie,” or “mean”? In this episode of The Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we unpack the stereotypes and labels that follow Black women who set standards, protect their energy, and refuse to perform for other people’s comfort. We get into: The difference between arrogance and discernment Why being reserved often gets mistaken for being unapproachable How society pressures Black women to always be “on” and entertaining The backlash women face for having preferences in dating, lifestyle, and friendships Why standards don’t make you difficult they just make you selective This conversation is all about embracing stillness, discernment, and self-respect without guilt. Because being selective is not an insult it’s a boundary.

In the final part of our First of Her Kind series, we’re talking about what it really means to outgrow old versions of yourself — and not shrink back down just to make others comfortable. From friendships that can’t handle your growth, to family members who only recognize the old you, this conversation is all about protecting your peace, honoring your healed self, and choosing connections that don’t require self-abandonment. We get into: - Redefining what family, friendship, and community look like now Why accountability and reciprocity matter in every relationship - The shift that happens when you stop explaining and start protecting your energy -How to know when it’s time to address something vs. quietly cut it off This episode is for anyone learning to take up space unapologetically, even when it means leaving old rooms and old versions of yourself behind.

This week on The Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we’re joined by the incredibly talented Hailey Kilgore Tony and Grammy-nominated actress, singer, and all-around powerhouse. From making her Broadway debut at 17 to starring in Power Book III: Raising Kanan and Respect, Hailey opens up about growing up as a suburban Black girl, navigating predominantly white spaces, and learning when to stop code-switching. We dive into purpose beyond career, setting boundaries, and why authenticity will always be your greatest flex. Plus, Hailey shares the parallels between acting, music, and the realities of being a multifaceted Black woman in the spotlight.

This is part 3 of our 4 part series "The First of Her Kind" This episode is for the women who dared to want more and didn’t stay quiet about it. We explore the discomfort your ambition brings to others, the envy that success can spark, and how society still polices powerful, attractive, educated Black women who won’t shrink to fit anyone’s idea of “humble.” “Society has always made room for the struggling Black woman. But an attractive, educated, healing one? Now that’s threatening.”

This week on The Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we’re continuing our “First of Her Kind” series with a conversation about what it really means to choose yourself. From ditching people-pleasing habits to setting unapologetic boundaries, we’re unpacking how putting yourself first as a Black woman is revolutionary — especially when the world expects you to shrink. We get into: The guilt of prioritizing your peace Why some people only liked the version of you with no boundaries How emotional unavailability can show up in your relationship with yourself The beauty (and backlash) of being attractive, successful, and unbothered If you’ve ever been told you’ve “changed” just because you finally started putting you first, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we’re kicking off our new series First of Her Kind—all about being the first Black woman in your family, friend group, or community to break cycles and choose a different life. From setting boundaries to choosing therapy to walking away from the 9 to 5 pipeline, this episode is for anyone who’s ever realized, “Wait… I’m the first one doing this.” We get into: How it feels to be the first to heal, rest, or move away from your hometown The discomfort of setting boundaries with family when they’re used to the “old you” Redefining success: financial freedom, flexibility, and living your life now—not at 70 How healing shifts the way you date, love, and choose romantic partners Why moving out of your comfort zone (or city!) is essential for growth The loneliness—and power—that comes with being the cycle breaker We’re talking therapy, travel, entrepreneurship, soft life, and stepping into your next level—even if it means leaving people behind.

From sharing Ubers to sharing secrets, the rules of friendship have changed — but are some still sacred? In this episode, we dive into what girl code means now in 2025. We're unpacking the unspoken boundaries, the silent betrayals, and the ways sisterhood gets complicated in adulthood. Is not showing up to the birthday dinner still a betrayal? Does time equal loyalty? And what’s the line between protecting your peace and abandoning your friend? We also get real about: Growing out of male-centered friendships Why falling out doesn’t have to mean failure Secret haters in your circle And the power of having friends who know when you’re quiet, you’re fine. It’s not about being a “girl’s girl” — it’s about being a grown woman’s friend.

Let’s be real — learning to enjoy your own company is a whole journey. In this episode, we’re talking about the real power of spending time alone, not because you have to, but because you want to. As women — especially Black women — we’re often expected to pour into everybody else. But what happens when you turn all that love, attention, and energy inward? What happens when you stop avoiding the silence and actually sit with yourself? We’re unpacking the difference between being alone and being lonely, and why solitude is one of the most underrated tools for self-awareness, creativity, emotional regulation, and peace. Whether you’re taking yourself out to brunch, journaling at home, or just laying in bed in stillness — being alone can be a whole vibe when you stop seeing it as punishment.

This week on the Suburban Black Girl Podcast, we're unpacking all the discourse around Black women, education, dating standards, and the infamous idea that we’re “least desirable.” We respond to the feedback, the hate, the stats — and the very real feelings Black women carry when it comes to love, ambition, and partnership. From online comments to cultural truths, we're clearing the air and standing in our worth.