Zen Pop

“Sons are so much easier than daughters”


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Are you sure about that?  Parents of boys say this to us a lot, but this can be a matter of experience or expectation. Sure, it may feel true in many situations, but not hearing a peep from your boys about anything doesn’t mean that nothing is going on – they may just be less comfortable expressing their emotions and asking for help.

Maybe a girl does become more frustrated or unsure about emotional experiences or relationships, but this is entirely normal and healthy. They are often more connected, tapped-in, and caring when it comes to people and life. Not such bad traits, right?  Instead of telling them they are dramatic and oversensitive, let’s learn how to support, soothe, and guide them so they can feel good about their gifts and who they are.  And when it comes to our boys, let’s allow for emotional expression and demonstrate that it’s OK to ask for help.

By the way- Todd gets frustrated when other men tell him about all the drama when it comes to raising daughters. The term “drama” carries a negative energy or something to avoid, so Cathy suggests “framing and naming”. We respond to something based on how we view it, so if we think girls are over dramatic, then we fight against or think it should be different. If we believe emotions are normal and that our job is support emotional expression, then we won’t be so triggered by our daughter’s emotional experiences. We can call our girls dramatic and oversensitive, or we can call them intuitive, connected, and heart-centered. Totally different response based on how we define them.

We also discussed a blog titled “He said he was leaving. She ignored him.”  In it the writer takes a different approach to her marital issues and low and behold it worked.  He tried to blame her for his pain and unload his own feelings onto her and she simply didn’t take it.  Listen in to see how it all went down.

Finally we answered a question from a listener regarding her concern over her daughters’ modeling job. She was worried that the wrong message was being sent regarding her inner beauty vs her outer beauty.

We would love to hear any comments from the show by sending us an email @ [email protected]

You can be sure to hear more by liking our facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/ZenParenting

You can subscribe to Cathy’s blog by going to http://www.chicagonow.com/self-aware-parent/

Thank you for listening!!!

 

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Zen PopBy Todd and Cathy Adams

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