Stephanie Hickey is a certified sex, love and relationship coach with a special interest in relationship dynamics and personal responsibility within one’s relationship. She coaches individuals on topics related to sex, love and relationships and is beginning to move into coaching couples in session but she has a soft spot for the the one-on-one nature of working with individuals and witnessing them become empowered and transforming their own lives.

She has been with her current partner for 10 years and they are raising 2 daughters together with a third one on the way! The partnership itself is what prompted Stephanie to become interested in relationship coaching because she quickly realized that the very conscious and intentional nature of this partnership was something she did not experience in previous relationships and also not seeing amongst many other relationships.

She has found great meaning in being a witness and ally to those who also want to work their way through challenges, patterns, blocks and boredom. 

In this episode, Stephanie teaches us:

1. Sit with your partner and allow each person to first discuss  "what are your fears" for two minutes each without interruption from the other person (stream of consciousness), then "what do you love about me" and finally "what do you desire" to open up healthy conversation. Each person will answer each question.
2. Take the quiz and get you know  both your and your partner's erotic blue print.
3. Find ways to reflect on what drew you to your partner and look for opportunities to recreate that connection
4. Try to vision with your partner what you want your every day life to look like. Dare to dream the impossible. The conversation will elevate your thinking and give you something to work towards
5. Journaling is a great tool to help you get out of your head and get clarity of thought
6. To add a little spice back into the relationship…do something you've never done before in the bedroom.  You will feel different… You will see your partner differently…

Emily Nagoski's book Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life. 

This book talks in depth about the female sexuality and why and how sexuality works all grounded in fantastic research. If you've never investigated what turns you on and what turns you off (brakes and accelerators), or if you wonder about spontaneous arousal vs. responsive arousal, this book will definitely change your life. (her website also contains free quizzes to learn more about your sexual temperament and sexual cues: https://www.emilynagoski.com/come-as-you-are-worksheets)

Here is Jaiya's website to look more into Erotic Blueprints https://missjaiya.com/  And finally, Esther Perel's area of specialty is eroticism and passion in long term relationships. She has several books (The State of Affairs, Mating in Captivity), many youtube talks, her own podcast, a membership site, a new card game to get good conversations started...the list goes on.

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