We sit down with Ralph Brewer to unpack what really sits underneath dead bedrooms, infidelity, and the quiet insecurity that many men carry into marriage. We talk straight about anxious attachment, “Mr Nice Guy” patterns, and how secure, connected couples protect intimacy by building a full life instead of clinging tighter.
• Ralph’s turning point after discovering an affair and becoming a single father
• why sex and intimacy become the biggest pain point for many men
• anxious attachment patterns and pairing with avoidant partners
• novelty, long-term monogamy, and why desire often drops without intention
• nice guy codependency, covert contracts, and hidden manipulation
• boundaries as attraction, without swinging into being a jerk
• how avoidance, control, and compartmentalizing can feed infidelity dynamics
• why men isolate after divorce and what it costs mentally
• building brotherhood and male friendship as a stabilizer
• quick wins like fitness and hygiene, plus the deeper vulnerability work
• scheduling sex, date nights, and getting kids out of the bedroom
• secure independence, self-regulation, and taking ownership of your choices
• where to find Ralph at helpformen.com and Dad Starting Over
Coming June 23: Happy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.
Available now for Kindle Pre-Order for 99¢
Written by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduce stress, and create a more meaningful life—one small habit at a time.
Available June 23 wherever books are sold.
The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.
Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:
Strongermarriage.org
Podcast.stongermarriage.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLife
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelife
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/
Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579
Dr. Dave Schramm:
http://drdaveschramm.com
http://drdavespeaks.com
Dr. Liz Hale:
http://www.drlizhale.com/