Superpowered Mind with Clare Dimond

I am finding myself at a lockdown all thought believed but unable to see a way through this.  My husband died in 2015 when i was 51 and 3 months later my brother committed suicide. At the time of his death he was under mental health care.  I believed 100% that he wouldnt kill himself, and tried to constantly tell my parents that he wouldnt and that it was all attention seeking, but he did.  He hung himself and had a massive heart attack and was not dead when found and taken to hospital and put on life support, after brain scans he was deemed as brain dead and we had to make the decission to turn off his life support.  His actual passing was traumatic for my Mum his son, wife and myself. So much guilt. 

Moving on my son 34yrs  suffers with his mental health and i cannot see that this is ok.  everything in me wants to secure him to secure myself and not have to face this again.  I understand i cannot control anyone or anything but the ongoing fear of this is agonising and not good for our relationship.  What my mind says is well you cant control anything so you know this can happen again, which i know is true and i cant see this any other way and any attempt to feel into it just blocked, nonething.  

If you have time to reply to me i would greatly appreciate it, i just dont know how to approach this.

I havent been on holiday abroad since 2017. In June 2018 I was ill with GAD and couldn't go on holiday with my husband and daughter. I came back in taxi and they went alone. That same year in November 1st my husband aged 51 passed away from sepsis at the hospital I worked at for 16 years, due to negligence. We won our case it was an awful experience. My anxieties are more to do with me all my life and are not about my husband if you understand what I mean. Grief is a completely emotion. I was very strong I have been told. I have been in a new healthy relationship for 2 years now and both our children get on amazingly. No problems at all, only my personal anxieties that never go away. So the main issue is going on holiday abroad. All the family want to go and I am having to say no I can't. I feel like a let down as I know everyone wants to go but I'm so afraid to commit in case the same thing happens because when I am hit by my anxiety I am very ill and I spiral right down to the pit of doom. I know the answer is to do the thing but I'm so afraid. That's why I'm doing your courses. You're the only person who seems to resonate in a different way. X

Seems to me that I have chosen to put myself into Reset to feel all the feelings or the identity has but my concern is, is that healthy for me? 

By saying there is nothing to gain, I get it but, I am here to gain something, some kind of change to the endless suffering. Aren’t we all here for something, some gain, change or peace from pain? 

The premise of Reset, seems to be re-traumatisation in order to see through the made up self-identity/story of me. It is based on a belief that this is true. How do we know what is true? 

https://wildfigsolutions.co.uk/2023/12/15/enlightenment-summit/

What does 'you are not broken' mean and what are the world's therapists, psychologists and counsellors doing if it is true? 

Is the aim to not go into your mind as a separate entity and view the world outwards without running it through the I filter if that makes sense?