This I wanna ask since I read your book Ease and it really got my attention & find it powerful, but at the same time I can't get my head around it. You mentioned it again at our relationship retreat last week.

It goes like : I need attention from my mother and my ignoring mother is the same thing.

Can you say more to that? Is that literally the other end of the same conditioning, same content? 

Thank you a lot.

Love you to the moon and back :)

Is there such a thing as freedom? Listener question 

Is there such a thing as innate resilience and if so how do I access mine? 

I heard clearly what has confused me in conversations, mentioning "(personal) thoughts/believes" and "wisdom."

What I heard was: "I was thinking about me being scared of something and when someone was in need I did the thing I was scared of." "My thinking fell away and wisdom came, so I just did it, without thinking."

And now I saw, how sometimes I kind of wait for wisdom to come. But what is it? My thoughts not always look like wisdom at all and what I am doing neither 😀.

So wisdom and thoughts? It came up to me that I always heard this as a separation and now I heard "wisdom" as a thought too: "If people are in need like this I have to help them." This thought just came up instead of the thought:

 "I am scared of...." and he did what he thought he had to do maybe before another thought came up.

I guess it is not about wisdom OR thoughts/believes. It is all wisdom or all thoughts. And as I hear "thoughts" being not as good as wisdom I will call all of it wisdom: So for example: My thinking "I am not good at this" and I will not do it, is wisdom too. I safe myself. That is good (in my opinion). "I am not good at this" and I will do it, is wisdom too. I challenge myself. That is good (in her opinion). 

So we are all wise 😀. We don't have to wait. Do we? What do you think? If you like to think about this ofcourse. 

Thank you for reading!

Just listened to the podcast about my question. I appreciate you answering it. It’s actually really crazy because you gave the example of a salesperson not feeling the rejection in the same way when it’s in that context but when it’s about a romantic relationship even the slightest hint of rejection is painful. Which is so true and interesting because I work in sales lol and I was thinking about this exact thing. That I can go all day and get rejected by prospect after prospect and while it can be mildly frustrating at times  it’s not that difficult to keep a cool head about it but with this situation with this girl I was recently seeing who seems to have lost all interest and completely stopped contacting me is producing this excessive pain and also even obsession about it all. So anyway. Definitely think that’s very insightful and the synchronicity is fascinating lol. 

Anyway near the end you mentioned that these kinds of reactions are revelatory about something being believed that isn’t true. How do you locate what that is?

What is your view on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. Do they have a role in this conversation. Can they help understanding or do they make it harder? 

And today I saw why cutting people off  was/is such a hobby for me. I wanna cut them firstly and with that dissarm them so they can't leave me.Less painful if I leave them, than to be left by others.Only inteligence is capable to make such a creative defense.It is made from the same media ...conditioning & healing... wow :)

Just doing the weekend cleaning and listening to your today's podcast :)

In the Life navigation suffering sensing can be much more accurate align to reality than running after good, plesant feelings?

As a game of guessing (Cold-warm) we played as children.When we got closer to guessing what it is, someone said warm and we follow that direction.