What if I am thinking stressful thoughts on purpose?

I have once had an obsessive thought about sth. I remembered that I recently read that if you just let it be it will go away on it's own. So I just let it be and it went away. But than I thought "but if I think about it again it will come back".And then I started thinking about it on purpose to prove to myself that there is still danger. It has been two years now and I am still thinking about it on purpose. It is not a particular thought now. It is just a feeling of fear. Then I always get very anxious and can't sleep at night. Sometimes I forget about it for a while. But when I notice that I am not thinking about it it's like I can't help but think about it. I think the problem is also that I am in a constant fight/flight mode because of my physical condition (because of nerve, vene and arterial compression)

I'd love to hear your opinion on this.

Hi Clare. 

I’m just re-listening to the Voice course I did with you a while ago. In it (on day 10) you mention about how our barriers go up and we literally can’t take in the information because we’re so busy trying to protect the I, the me. Is that what overwhelm is? 

I’ve noticed a lot recently when someone asks for advice or help or says something that threatens to take me out of my ‘hiding place’ of self protection that my system is doing its absolute best to stay in, I feel immediate overwhelm as if the mind is creating the overwhelm almost as a way to avoid doing the thing, to protect itself because it feels ‘too much’. 

Or perhaps it is a case of genuine fatigue, sensory overload and unmet needs, due to the system trying so incredibly hard to survive, because that really is how it feels. I can see there is a risk here of bypassing. 

Any insight around this would be great. 

Yes it's a bit woo woo question this one. As we are learning about our true nature being life's intelligence in this apparent form. It seems somewhere on the way taking the form, this intelligence suffered severe loss of memory. Only explanation that came up for me about this is that, it gets access to the richness of all experiences that can come up in this complexity of the human body. 

And secondly if life's intelligence is absolute - omnipresent. Do all these experiences gathered from all forms get stored? Like life's intelligence is getting smarter and smarter.

I would like to hear your thoughts on this?

THE DIZZINESS OF FREEDOM

The rain falling on your head, and you brought no protection. Exposed, raw, you find yourself taking the next step. 

The heart breaking open, torn, ruptured, a bloody mess; only to reveal a thrilling courage you had forgotten in your search for comfort, and a kindness that only those who have suffered will understand.

This strange love affair with uncertainty. The dizzying vastness of freedom. A tingly aliveness in the gut that you mistook for pathology. The path leading only into the unknown, all signposts gone. 

Not a path for the feint of heart, no, but for those who cannot lie any longer. And for those who have no other choice but to live. 

If it makes you weep, if it scares the shit out of you, if it takes you to the bleeding edge of your identity and makes you want to vomit... well, it may just be your path. 

- Jeff Foster

I'm re-doing Them 2022.

I came up with an exploration about criticism.

Because I hate my wife criticising me.

So I had a look at who I criticise.

My wife for her criticism!

I also noticed a link between anger and criticism.

Criticism of me angers me.

And yet.

I criticise the same people that I get angry about.

Please expand on these words "people are safe with the person who is prepared to hang out in the discomfort feelings and see what's going on there because it means no wars are started. To try and find peace within us, the war within us is identified and then peace."

The mind: two capacities, one truth

How do beliefs change? I hear about people doing "belief coding" which seems both ridiculous and sensible depending on how it is looked at. I guess now that the limitless nature of things has been glimpsed....the identified mind is looking for ways to open portals...but also there must be a logical way to do this...maybe? How do I make myself believe I'll earn £500,000 next year???

What is the role of belief in whether or not food is good for us?