Superpowered Mind with Clare Dimond

I have been reading Dr Shefali's new book Radical Awakening.  She talks about many faces of the ego, the helpers, the takers, the controllers (under each one of these there are many facets). We often identify with 2 or 3 predominantly. 

I was shocked to see one of them I identified with was the Princess (not all of it was me but some of it). I can see over the years that as I became a Mum, gave up my job and have been setting up my own business I lost all confidence in my ability to make my way in the world. I slowly gave away my power to my husband, I became the looked after one. I struggle with the idea that I can make my business a success and can not see how I can't rely on others to help me out. As a child I had a very controlling mother who diminished me & I allowed this to happen in my relationship (but I see this was me). I am actually terrified about how I can make my way in life. When I see others do it , I just think how, that will never be me even though I really want it to be.

My thoughts of the day....

"A belief is only a thought I keep thinking.” Abraham Hicks.

'A belief is a thought that we've been attaching to, often for years.' Byron Katie

'Often when you put a label on someone or something, you create a limit—the label becomes the limitation' Jim Kwick

Some beliefs limit us, narrow our view, seperate us from others, cause conflict, trap us, allow us to bypass our experience, keep us small, make us superior or inferior.

We live in a web of beliefs:-

I can't, I shouldn't, they shouldn't, I'm not, they're not, it's hard, I couldn't, they mustn't, this is wrong with me, how dare they, who do they think are, they are, there so, I'm so, it's not possible, there's no way...

So this goes on & on until we start to gently inquire into our belief system, into the matrix and the illusion. We can clear the path by insight, inquiry & feeling the pain of seperation.

A recent one for me "My Mum, doesn't see me, validate me, she causes me pain". Her comments hurt me, like a stab in the chest. "Where do I get my validation from, is it her?" As long as I think it is from her it will never be so, she will keep hurting me as she is not my validation source.

People are unreliable and inconsistent sources of validation & they will keep reminding us until we are ready to consistently ground ourselves within.

My Mum said to me the other day," I would never have told you were amazing or special as a child as it wouldn't have been true. "

Is it a surprise I was seeking validation from others? needing someone else to want me, so I attract a man in my life that couldn't do that for me either.

"You are amazing, you are the best, you are so wanted, so needed, you are special, you are important" Validation!!! As Clare Dimond says these mini rewards distract us & keep us looking outside of ourselves. This is not were our happiness lies.

It is the consistent loving feeling that is always present within us & without of us.

No One Can Give Us That!!!!

People will keep pointing us back home! until we are ready to see.

Listener 1 
I listented to it today and I struggle with the concept to just go into the anxiety, without further explsnation or help. I always experienced it as total retraumatizing, litterally devastating. In trauma therapy you first establish some ressource like eg a stable feeling in some part of the body and then oscillate between the safe space and the anxiety to not overwhelm the system. I don't think this is always necessary but some sort of connection to a bigger picture, like the space that we are or something like that to hold the anxiety is necessary in my experience to not overwhelm the system and to be even helpful in some way, other ways it's just plane torture. In other words I think if we don't see what we are and use it as anker the going into the feeling is more harmful than not.

Listener 2 
Hear what you are saying. This morning’s experience has been physically exhausting with the sheer adrenaline of it, that I fell asleep at my laptop for a wee while. When I’m in the panic it does feel like a retraumatisation as it’s happened before but I think there is now a bit of distance from it. I find it very hard to go into it as Clare would say as am so lost at that stage that keeping real and away from the projections of the mind is a struggle. 

 @⁨Clare Dimond⁩ could our comments  be a follow up podcast please? Others may feel the same.

I keep being told I’m too sensitive.  I have an artistic temperament. And sensitivity helps with this. I am tuned into people’s energies. On the one hand sensitivity is seen as  good thing and on the other it is an issue as people tell me I get offended too easily. Can you help me with this 

Could you  expand on these words "people are safe with the person who is prepared to hang out in the discomfort feelings and see what's going on there because it means no wars are started. To try and find peace within us, the war within us is identified and then peace."

https://tatyanasussex.substack.com/p/beauty-q-and-a-with-clare-dimond?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email#play


From Tatyana: 

Dear Beautiful Friends,

Are you ready for a mini-PhD in reality, freedom, and the awakened life—with some laughter thrown in?

Meet my beloved teacher, guide, coach, friend, and playmate of the past three amazing years, Clare Dimond. I’m going to introduce her by going straight to the very last question I ask in my Beauty Q&As, because Clare’s answer is so 🤯 and 🐒 and 😱 and 💫 with a little 🧚‍♀️ thrown in.

Clare is not nihilistic nor misanthropic; she is a teacher and author in the field of non-duality, an understanding that addresses (in a nutshell) the nature of reality and pokes at the truth behind suffering and the separate self. You might call it intimacy with all things, the Oneness of life. Clare’s groups and teachings are conversations that point in the direction of what it means to be alive in our bodies as infinite awareness and unconditional love.

Something like that! I have been learning/working/studying/playing with Clare in this space for three years and still come up short with the right language to describe this field of exploration and awakening. 

*Because we don’t need a reason to be happy to be alive, and any reason we come up with is only true for a fleeting moment, then it changes.

Let’s cut to the good part shall we? WATCH THE VIDEO

We slowed down, went past the 20 minutes limit and explored beauty, how it is an unconditional quality of life and can be a portal to awakening, freedom, expansion.

We also talked about:

• What is Beauty & Does It Matter?
• The Artist’s Way
• Positive affirmations
• Is the natural world calling us to be a collaborator in life?
• Being a human in a troubled world—how the hell do you cope?
• Going deep with our fears about global issues
• What does the world want from us?
• How to rhumba on the playfield of life.
• Mystery as beauty, beauty as mystery.
• How does a non-dual philosophy teacher & author play?
• Distinctions between work & play, clients & friends.

Is it possible to have a good relationship with someone who is really traumatised. My partner had a terrible childhood and a lot of addiction as a consequence. They frequently have bouts of great anger and times of withdrawal from me. Is there a way through this for us to a healthy relationship