On your podcast on 9th August you said that “the body is the judge.” I don’t know that I’ve heard it said that way. Could you talk more about that?  

Perhaps some details — I am wondering what there is for me to see in the severe pain that is felt in my body /- especially in my hands and wrists. More than that too, some itching and just all the other things that come and go. 

There have been insights around the tightness and contraction with regards to limited beliefs/stories/ideas or critical ways of seeing the world. I’ve been aware of that for years. And meeting and greeting the pain with compassionate awareness, if pain is here is that indicative of judgement and gee how can that ever stop or be different? 

Reading your book ‘it’s not you and it's not me'. Please help me clarify exactly what you are saying and navigate my situation. I am in love with a woman let’s call her Ann. I think about her all the time. I get jealous when she talks about other men. I get upset if she doesn’t want to see me. This feels like love to me. There have been other women in my life who I haven’t felt that with . Are you saying the relationship with Ann is a play out of trauma and it is not with the other women? How can that be and what does it mean to be in love then if it is not to want to be with the other person all the time. .

Looping back to jiu jitsu again (also a metaphor for other things. And a complete mirror for me) - I’m tempted to say, well, it’s me who has decided that this is good for them. And clearly, it’s just not their thing. Let’s try another activity. Or no activities. And that’s probably true on some level, I suppose. But I’m also feeling that they haven’t actually experienced really doing jiu jitsu. Because they have been so caught up in “I don’t like going with this particular kid. They always go too hard. Why don’t I win medals? I’m too tired. That coach doesn’t like me,” and on and on and on.  So it doesn’t feel clean or right to say just quit at this point. But they seem to be moving further into the story with increasing struggle, and my suggestions or attempts to “explain what’s really going on here” (shockingly) have not been helpful. Also, won’t this cycle just repeat itself with the next activity they try? So I guess that’s my question… Can I help a little kid come more into reality? 

And now after writing all of that, it’s seeming like I should just keep using this as a mirror. 

Coming back to reality myself - the concept of the space within which everything, including shame and pain arises - how can attention  notice both?

So in answer to the humiliation and discomfort question I asked is, what harm am I doing to my mind and body when feeling immense discomfort that spirals into illness on a large scale for me?  It really puts me out of action and makes me fragile then in everyday living. 

You teach about perfect design in suffering on individual level (micro level). Can it be also on macro level in all what's happening around the globe?

you mention unconditional love a lot but I still don’t know what that is and where boundaries fit in with it. Also what is there difference between unconditional love and Limerance?

In today's blog you say

"This shift from shame, the lowest and most painful of experiences of existence to the blissful sanity of no-doer is, I believe, the reason why enlightenment is such a powerfully transformative experience."

 I can see this within the context of a something that "I" have done

What about something that "another person" has done? Something I had no agency or control over.

"Me/Control"

I sometimes (rarely now) feel ashamed about putting too much money into my business for too little impact.

"Other/No control"

I have felt anger towards my birth mother for not living me enough to keep me.

I think this anger was the flip side of feeling ashamed at not being good enough to keep

I‘m just reading this book: The way of integrity by Martha Beck and I have a question. She talks a lot about doing what you love and this confuses me. What is this even? Probably this inner yes. But what is this? Like the teaching. Do I love this? Would say no spontaneously. Having a family, baking bread, even cleaning, do I love this? Would say yes spontaneously. Does this mean I need to stop teaching to live in integrity from my inner yes? But I don’t. Why? Just don’t know why I’m doing it and don’t know why I’m not stopping it. Totally identified. How do you understand this doing what we love?