I was listening to the podcast about ‘Why do I shut down?’ As you know I’ve been experiencing anxiety and depression, everything has improved a bit even the low mood isn’t as low but the comment about triggers in the podcast and information that is being given made me curious. I notice that I am constantly comparing my life to others and as my life circumstances currently don’t feel favourable (although I know that is very outside-in) I have feelings of jealously, lack of connection and despondency that things will never improve, while at the same time not begrudging anyone else their joy and abundance. I am observing and trying to be with the feeling without judgement, sometimes easier than others when you want to feel better. Also wondered about that feeling of striving to move connected, reaching out to friends to meet and when they are busy taking it personally and starting the despondency cycle again. Seems like the striving to say connected is an attempt to be validated and being isolated feels like death as you put it on this weeks webinar. We are social animals so if feels natural to want to connect. I wondered if you had anything to say these points. 

I love your podcasts and listen avidly . Can I ask you where should one keep the attention if it’s now not on thoughts. I try not to get attached to thoughts and see them  just pass by but my mind goes haywire    and seems worse and then I’m sucked back into my mind.

Can you please help me out? 

The 'i' concept is not real. Like Allan Watts said in the quote you discussed on the "Saturday quote podcast."

But the experience of it seems real. 

I can see that we are the lifeforce/consciousness but on the other hand my experience from nanosecond to nanosecond differs.. i sometimes really get lost in the stories the i (made of thoughts intangeled in each other) spins. Full of blame, selfpity, anger and fear. Then my body gets contracted, my heart area hurts. I want to have control (to stop it) but that keeps the whole structure intact.

When the "i" gives it up, i notice the story collaps. And i am free! 

But there is still a need for control, how can i lossen this? Or is that (the need to lossen it) the problem? What to do? 

What I found harsh is: You are pointing toward a gap. It sounded to me like you are saying: look, where you stand right now, suffering will go on forever. What you see right now, will not help you. Unless you see this, there is actually no relief from all this. (in reference to Feb 3rd podcast) 

'Ready for Anything, 52 productivity principles for work and life' by David Allen.

"But sometimes... and not very often... sometimes we'd get glimpses of the truth.
We'd see someone across a crowded room at the prom and our heart would stop. Our thoughts about ourselves would disappear and it felt like we were in heaven. What was happening? Were we falling in love?
Maybe what really stopped at that moment wasn't the heart. What if what stopped was just all those thoughts? All those thoughts that were headed for the future or else going into the past.
What if when the truth (beauty) is glimpsed those thoughts fall away? And love is just the beauty arising out of feeling the here and now. " 

Right Now p. 172, Steve Chandler 

(The John Keats quote Steve refers to in the interview is:
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty--that is all ye know on earth and all ye need to know." 

Can you talk about planning? My coach said it is better to just turn up and let wisdom take over...

Can you speak to why it looks like there is a me that is making a choice? Is it that the brain creates a narrative that links the behavior the system took, based on what made sense/learning/belief in the moment, to an "I"?

For example, it looks like there is a "me" that either pays things on time or not. Yet I can see that the system would learn due dates, and use them, while the brain could then claim that behavior after and say "I did that".

Can you tell me your thoughts about tools such as the Enneagram and Human Design.

They seem to be quite helpful for many people but I wonder if this is another way of solidifying the ’self’ and may actually confuse the understanding I am gaining from your work?

How do I address the physical symptoms that seem to prevent me taking on this wonderful information?? For example, I can become so overwhelmed (shutdown) during a webinar I have no recall of the content.