Superpowered Mind with Clare Dimond

I’m also noticing a desire for this house cleaning (or weight loss/health) struggle to be serving some sort of higher purpose - or relating to struggle or lack of action in these spaces like it’s some sort of self-sabotage, but in the absence of a self…. it can’t quite be self-sabotage can it? And what’s the point to the identity of relating to one’s behavior as self-sabotage. Why would identity do that?

Listener question: I *just* realized how personally I take my husband’s criticism of our home (it’s a mess). And that got me thinking that it’s not just his criticism but my own criticism from within about what it means about me as a person, a mother, and a wife that the house is a mess. How is our own self-criticism not personal?  Is it too just a learned pattern, and how does one learn that (or unlearn it)? 

Can you talk about why each time there is suffering and resistance against something , it is an opportunity over and over again for healing? Is it that each time we see that the brain creates separation via the self concept - and this feels painful, and each time we see that it's a temporary creation then there is opportunity for healing? It feels like there's something missing here. 

I’m curious, if there is no controlling I, who or what is it that decides to do the thing that Clare is saying to do? What makes the change from staying safe to taking risks? Is it just that as we see that it’s just a programme, there becomes more possibility within that programme? Or is it something outside the programme? 

Interested in your responses, thanks

Listener question: If there's no decision maker and a learned programme is simply being acted out, how do we differ from an AI robot? We can watch the robot running it's programme just as we can watch our own programme running and we can watch the programme changing as the system learns. NLP is all about accelerating change within the neurological programme, a reprogramming of the system (presumably by another programme as there's no doer).

So, what does it mean to be human? We're aware that we're aware of course, but if we have no choices then there's a sense of so what?  How do I actually differ from an AI or even from my dog? Are we simply a more intelligent AI vs other animals or certain robots?

I have a thing about doing the dishes. You have no idea how big a problem this can become. I have had a whole team of friends over to look at how I can fit in a dishwasher, where there really isn't space for it. I got the flat that I'm in because I could swear that there was space, when I went to look at it! 

Sometimes I see that the aversion to doing the dishes has something to do with hidden thoughts behind it all. I could just leave the dishes right? But how will people view the illusary me if the place is a tip? 

But it is not always like that. Sometimes I just do the dishes without any fight whatsoever, and sometimes I leave them without a thought. 

So when I'm OK (or rest in okness) there i no aversion and no guilt. There is movement towards the dishes or away from them. But when "I'm" not OK there is aversion and a lot of guilt. Deep in it all I feel there is a true desire for a dishwasher (without attachment to wether I get it or not).

The same situation seems to be read moment by moment, and it can reveal widely different experiences. 

I feel this is the same when creating content, and how I feel about people not responding. Sometimes I am not OK (embarrased, ashamed etc.), sometimes I am actually OK, and other times I feel OK, but really I am closed off, not curious, and disinterested in learning anything new. There is a deep desire to share underneath it all.

Is there always something in the way, when we don't get a good response? what am I not seeing here?

Listener question: I'm wondering if you have any thoughts around feedback when it's something we can't control.  I have panic attacks at work and it impacts the effectiveness of my work.  I think you're pointing to the fact that these are a learned response in the system and until I can see past the separation of my clients, this will keep happening in a non personal way.  Would it be similar, as say I lost my arm and couldn't work any more, and so my mind loops in ways that make it impossible to do this job. I know it's not the very same as with the former, it really would be impossible and with the latter if I could see more it might still be possible.

I have had a tough time in my personal life. I was in a long distance relationship for 2 year with someone I adored. We hit a rough patch and decided to be friends but instead of that he has ghosted me. it has been around 6 weeks and i am having a hard time getting over it. I feel with what i know I should be okay by now. I have no idea why he has done it, no closure and i cry a lot. I cannot seem to get a grip even though i know there is no me to get a grip. Can you speak to this please if possible?

Do we always need to fall to the bottom to feel this enormous pain to change or at least seek change? As I listen to your work I understand that defensive systems are all set to defend what needs to be defended which looks real to us keeping us at Status Quo. 

I have turned down a job offer for some genuine practical reasons but I can also see that I have retreated because of a perceived threat to my identity. A sense of lack and unworthiness was overwhelming. I saw the ‘wolves’ getting ever closer and felt unable to challenge them or look them in the eye!

I did find my voice to explain my reasons for not taking up the position, which in the past I would not have done- previously there would have been a resigned pushing and forcing, showing only commitment to the job no matter what the consequences. To some extent I think it was a ‘lose/lose’ for the identity as I’m now left with feelings of guilt! I can see that in trying to secure the identity and to end the turmoil and suffering, the mind still isn’t happy with the decision made and it will probably only repeat this pattern in another scenario that comes along!

I’d be really grateful for you talk about this in one of your podcasts and help me see more around this. A lot has been coming up for me in the last few months, ‘layers of the onion’ are being exposed and there is a willingness to look more closer at all these behaviours in a way that was unthinkable before.