Mike emphasizes the importance of allowing for mistakes while children are learning social skills. There will be bumping and complaining, but also essential development. Tom recalls two children who happily squished close together to fill a tube at the sensory table. A blanket rule about squishing would have shut down that learning. Helping children tune in to one another is the goal.

Joey is thinking about the role of the body in social learning and building social skills. Ross reminds us of the importance of making mistakes while we learn. Sometimes you have to spill the water on Mike to learn how much he doesn't like it. Tom is running late, so it's up to Mike to coin the phrase, "the body is a social tool." Tom finally arrives and gives his approval.

Ross circles back to a conversation about what sharing really means. Tom reminds us that when teachers strictly impose time limits or make decisions about when children must "share," they take away the chance for the children to define what is possible. When children are included in decision-making, we see more sharing and acts of kindness than we may have thought possible.

Tom reflects on a friendly game of cards with his grandson that became locked into a fight. When and why is it important to follow the rules when playing games with children? When do you play the "friends way" and when do you play the "rules way"?

Mike leads a discussion about the nonlinear nature of learning. As Ross explains, children's learning looks like a "Family Circle" cartoon, not a straight line.

In a continuation of last week's conversation about how children learn, Ross is thinking about how unprompted feedback can squash intrinsic motivation and discovery. The conversation flows from there. The group talks about the stages of the learning cycle, how play based teaching can sometimes gloss over these stages, the importance of attunement, and the impact of the timing of feedback.

Joey is triggered by a guest to her school wondering when the "learning" would happen. What could she say to this visitor if she could go back in time? Ross might turn the question around to help make the point that adults also need interest, excitement, and motivation to learn. Mike is reminded of a Lillian Katz quote which points out we are often wasting time for most of our students when we think we are helping them learn. Tom points out that children are always learning. In the end, Joey gets the answer she needs. Now she just needs a time machine.

Joey wants to talk about racing and competition as she's been spending time with children who shout, "I'm first and you're not!" Is competitiveness and hierarchical ranking just part of typical development or does it reflect a system of values that we are modeling for children? Mike and Tom share ideas for de-escalating when emotions run high at competitive moments. Tom is reminded of shoppers' behavior on Black Friday. Perhaps we should take a closer look at our environments and be sure we are not creating competition due to scarcity. (From June 2021)

Ross is thinking about unhelpful help again. How much are we helping children and when does our help cause an interruption? Joey recalls a time when intervening to support a child's speech interrupted the flow of a conversation. Mike thinks about a child who likes to knock things down and the decision whether to intervene before someone's tower comes crashing down. Perhaps we need one more word that starts with "I": intention.

Joey notices that asking children to slow down on a "collecting walk" creates a strong sense of focus. Mike observes a child caring for a tiny ant for over a half hour. Ross's students give deep consideration to what items they want to keep on the "saving ledge." Setting parameters can help children pause to notice what is important and filter out what is less important.