Feel like you're failing at motherhood? Maybe you're actually on the right track.

In this episode, I chat with author and podcaster Victoria Vanstone about her year of “mumming” — a 12-month mission to try anything and everything to become a better mum.

 From parenting courses and rage walks to hiding in Aldi and whispering affirmations in the pantry, Victoria shares the real story of what worked, what didn’t, and why trying (and failing) might be the most important part.

If mum guilt, mum rage, or the pressure to “get it right” are part of your daily internal monologue — this one’s for you.

You’ll hear: 💡 Why mum guilt and mum rage are normal — and what to do with them 💡 The parenting tools that actually worked (and the weird ones that didn’t) 💡 Why doing things for yourself might be the most effective parenting strategy 💡 What Victoria learned from yelling, bribing, and eventually walking away — on purpose

Watch the episode on YouTube: 📺 YouTube.com/@ThatsHelpfulPod

Subscribe on Substack for weekly helpful writing & behind-the-scenes: 📝 thatshelpful.substack.com

Buy Victoria’s book: 📚 Mumming: A Year of Trying and Failing to Be a Better Mum

Find Victoria online: 🌐 www.victoriavanstone.com 📸 @vic_sober_awkward

Enjoying the podcast? Share it, leave a review, or forward to a buddy who needs a little less guilt and a bit more grace.

If mum guilt and rage have ever made you feel like you’re getting it all wrong — this one’s for you.

Victoria Vanstone didn’t like the mum she was becoming, so she spent a year trying everything she could to change. From parenting classes to boxing, guided meditations in the pantry to $5 bedtime bribes, she shares what actually helped her become calmer, more connected, and far less ragey.

If you’re in it right now and wondering how to break the cycle — this one’s full of ideas that actually work.

Yours Helpfully, Ed x

You'll hear: – The tools that helped Victoria stop yelling (most of the time) – Why guilt and rage don’t make you a bad mum – What didn’t work — and what absolutely did to make her a better mum – How to start showing up differently, even if you’re already burnt out

CONNECT WITH US 🔥 Follow That’s Helpful on Instagram 🔥 Watch full episodes on YouTube 🔥 Read more on Substack 🔥 Find Victoria on Instagram or at drunkmummysobermummy.com

BOOKS 📚 Mumming by Victoria Vanstone

Got thoughts or feedback on the episode? Email me: [email protected]

Ready to stop asking for permission and start doing the thing you actually want to do?

Ash Ambirge is here to hand you the match. 🔥

She’s the author of The Middle Finger Project — a book, a movement, and a manifesto for anyone who's tired of playing it small. She’s on a mission to help people ditch the jobs they hate and build their dream lives.

In this conversation, Ash and I talk about what it really takes to walk away from "safe" and create something better. If you’re dreaming of more but scared to make the jump, this episode is your sign. It's the perfect follow-on to last week's ep with Amie McNee.

Yours Helpfully,

Ed x

Inside, we get into:

• Why “security” is the biggest scam going

• How to stop waiting for the right time

• Why rebellion isn’t reckless — it’s necessary

• How to back yourself (even when nobody else does)

CONNECT WITH US 🔥 Follow That’s Helpful and Ed Stott on Instagram. 🔥 Find Ash at The Middle Finger Project website, or on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

BOOKS 📚 The Middle Finger Project by Ash Ambirge

Got thoughts, ideas, or just want to yell "YES"? Email me: [email protected]

Tired of waiting for someone to give you a chance? This is how you stop waiting — and start doing.

Whether you want to write, launch a project, change careers, or share your work with the world, this episode with author Amie McNee is your go-to guide. She shares how she stopped chasing permission, started backing herself, and built a creative career on her own terms — before anyone said yes.

If you’ve been holding back on making something or becoming something because you're waiting to be picked… this is your sign to choose yourself.

Yours helpfully, Ed x

CHAPTERS 00:00 Living Between Two Worlds 01:47 The Essence of Art 06:22 Claiming Your Creative Identity 11:55 Self-Creation and Empowerment 17:14 Reclaiming Power as Creatives 22:41 Valuing Art Beyond Metrics 27:38 Taking Baby Steps in Creativity 29:31 The Power of Baby Steps in Creativity 32:24 Embracing Imperfection: The Art of Making Shitty Art 36:31 The Courage to Bomb: Lessons from Stand-Up Comedy 41:14 Vulnerability in the Creative Journey 45:50 The Transformative Power of Journaling

BOOKSWe Need Your Art: Stop Messing Around & Make Something PODCASTS Ash Ambirge - Middle Finger Project Sam Reece - Shitty Craft Club  The Unpublished Podcast (with Amie & James)

CONNECT WITH US Connect with ⁠That’s Helpful on Instagram. Find me on Substack & YouTube. Follow Amie McNee on Instagram.

Back in 2015, journalist Gemma Hartley wrote an article for Harper’s Bazaar that went viral. The article was about emotional labor & it really hit home for so many people - in fact 2 BILLION people read it. It led to Gemma writing a book on the topic & coming up with some real solutions to this incredibly familiar experience. Gemma is the author of Fed Up; Navigating & Redefining Emotional Labour For Good.

CONNECT WITH US Connect with ⁠That's Helpful on Instagram. Find Gemma on Instagram⁠ & via her website.

BOOKS Fed Up; Navigating & Redefining Emotional Labour For Good. Want to become a podcast sponsor, got some feedback for me or just fancy a chat? Email me - [email protected] TIMESTAMPS

00:00:00 - Intro

00:00:55 - The Mother’s Day that led Gemma to write the book

00:03:30 - What is emotional labor?

00:06:35 - Society assumes women are the default parent 

00:08:00 - The mindset of ‘helping out’ 

00:10:40 - What happened when Gemma’s husband became the full time at home parent

00:12:30 - The response to ‘stop being such a control freak’

00:15:00 - Setting shared standards

00:19:00 - Emotional labor for men in the dating period

00:21:12 - Why Gemma no longer asks for ‘help’ at home

00:25:11 - How to explain the problem without it becoming a fight

00:30:18 - Why taking on the emotional labor can make partners’ lives richer

00:33:15 - Having the expectation that this is going to require more than a single conversation

00:36:16 - Taking on the emotional labor of addressing emotional labor (!!)

00:40:30 - It’s okay to leave if someone isn’t meeting you where you are

 

I feel like I've levelled up in every single way since becoming a mum. But when I was pregnant, I only saw the negatives of motherhood & it wasn't until I had my baby that I realised the true power of becoming a mum.

I invited Lauren & Lucinda from Ready or Not Podcast (where they chat all things work & parenthood) on to have a chat about this revelation & explore all the ways they feel improved by becoming a mum.

Send this inspo to all your pregnant & new mum friends - I promise they will thank you!! 

Yours helpfully,

Ed x

CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to Motherhood's Transformative Power 02:54 The Leveling Up Experience of Motherhood 06:06 Finding Your Voice Through Motherhood 09:02 The Shift in Identity and Purpose 12:13 Body Image and Self-Perception Post-Pregnancy 24:10 Navigating Guilt and Societal Expectations in Motherhood 27:47 Trusting Your Instincts: The Power of Intuition 31:53 Embracing Personal Growth Through Motherhood 36:20 The Creative Surge: Balancing Motherhood and Career 39:07 Reconciliation of Work and Motherhood 43:10 Empowerment and Community in Motherhood

PODCASTSReady Or Not

CONNECT WITH US Connect with ⁠That's Helpful on Instagram. Find me on Substack & Youtube. Find Ready or Not on Instagram

This episode discusses: motherhood, transformation, leveling up, identity, self-perception, body image, motherhood journey, parenting, personal growth, empowerment, motherhood, intuition, personal growth, career, empowerment, societal expectations, work-life balance, creativity, self-care, community

If you're pregnant or have a new baby - I have some GAME-CHANGERS for you!!

I'm coming up on my first year of being a mum and I've learnt so much.

In this episode, I've whittled down a year's worth of blood, sweat and tears in to my 6 essentials - there's a couple of reccomendations & a few pieces of wisdom in there that I know you'll find truly helpful.

Yours helpfully,

Ed x

PODCASTSHypnobirthing 101: Simple Tools to Make Your Birth Better Make Your Intuition Your Super Power with Prof Joel Pearson BOOKSHypnobirthing: Practical Ways to Make Your Birth Better Ina May's Guide to Childbirth PROGRAMSPossums Sleep Program

CONNECT WITH ME Connect with ⁠That's Helpful on Instagram. Find me on Substack & Youtube.

This episode discusses: motherhood, hypnobirthing, baby sleep, new mom tips, new mum tips, motherhood journey, parenting advice, intuition in parenting, motherhood challenges, personal growth, motherhood insights

You might think you're doing it because you're too kind...but you're not (super awks). Today we’re going to learn WHY you're a people pleaser & the 3 simple steps that will give you the confidence to make the changes you so badly need to, revolutionise your relationships & give you your energy back in the process.

Dr Vicki & Dr Ritz are counselling psychologists from The Therapy Floor podcast.

CONNECT WITH US Connect with ⁠That's Helpful on Instagram. Find Dr Vicki & Dr Ritz via their website. PODCASTSThe Therapy Floor

This episode discusses: people pleasing, self-improvement, relationships, boundaries, psychology, self-esteem, communication, mental health, personal growth, emotional well-being

If you, like me, spend most conversations wondering when it's your time to talk - you’re probably not a very good listener. And here’s the kicker - it’s likely affecting your relationships.

In this episode we’re going to learn the simple tips to level up our listening & turn it into our ultimate super power for deeper connections in every area of our lives.

Ross Judd, is the author of Listening: A Guide to Building Deeper Connections.

CONNECT WITH US Connect with ⁠That's Helpful on Instagram. Find Ross via his website & on Instagram.

BOOKSListening: A guide to building deeper connections

This episode discusses: listening, communication, relationships, vulnerability, body language, summarizing, emotional safety, deeper connections, self-improvement, personal growth

If you've ever said 'I'll just get through this...& then it will all be fine', this episode is MANDATORY listening.

Overwhelmed? Me too! Today we're going to learn the simple systems to ease it once & for all.

Michelle Gauthier worked in corporate America for 20 years helping business to simplify their work & make effective change - now she’s turned her attention to helping people just like you.

So let's get your shoulders dropped, that jaw unclenched and your breath a little deeper!

CONNECT WITH US Connect with ⁠That's Helpful on Instagram. Find Michelle via her website & on Instagram. PODCASTSMichelle's Podcast

This episode discusses: overwhelm, mindfulness, life coaching, self-improvement, women empowerment, boundaries, mental health, stress management, personal development, work-life balance