The Courageous Life

'What is this moment calling for?'

At the heart of Dr. Jacob Ham’s approach lies this profound question. 

The simplicity of it can be disarming. 

Yet to answer it skillfully requires the capacity to be present -

To notice what is arising moment by moment. 

Not only in you, 

But in those around you, 

As well as what is arising in the space between.

That sacred ground we like to call connection or relationship.

To answer the question also necessitates an ability to meet whatever is here with curiosity, and the wisdom of an open heart. 

Over the course of his career Dr. Ham has sat with countless clients, 

Exploring the landscape of trauma, healing, and growth. 

Honing his craft through the act of asking and answering this question. 

Moment by moment.

In many ways Dr. Ham might be thought of as a master craftsman, 

A brilliant therapist,

Who has cultivated a deeply loving, authentic, and wise presence over a lifetime of practice.

It’s a way of showing up,

A way of being,

A way of meeting people exactly where they are,

which can’t really be described in words. 

Like a good conversation, it’s something that must be experienced. 

Today, you’ll have that opportunity. 

We originally recorded over a year ago, but chose to re release it, as it is one of the most moving and unique conversations I ’ve ever had on the show. 

For more on Dr. Ham, his work both as a therapist, and as Director of the Center for Child Trauma and Resilience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, as well as his writings and events please visit drjacobham.com

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts. 

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• On Inner Healing and Embracing Our True Selves | Dick Schwartz
• On Heartbreak, Healing, and Transformation | Sara Avant Stover

Thanks for listening!

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Is there just one “you”? 

This evocative question lies at the heart of Dr. Richard Schwartz’s groundbreaking work as both a therapist, and a researcher.

Over 40 years he’s pushed back against convention

Challenging what so many of us have been taught to believe - 

That we have a single identity.

And to feel fear or shame when we can’t control the inner voices that don’t match the ideal of who we think we should be. 

Rather than accept this well adopted theory of the “mono-mind.”

Dr. Schwartz developed the Internal Family Systems model (IFS) in response to clients’ descriptions of various parts within themselves, 

which has been transforming psychology for decades and is outlined in his profound bestselling book, No Bad Parts

He says:

“All of us are born with many sub-minds - or parts,” 

“These parts are not imaginary or symbolic. They are individuals who exist as an internal family within us - and the key to health and happiness is to honor, understand, and love every part.”

Today, we will take an experiential dive into IFS - 

As Dick shares more of his story, 

how he came to this approach, 

the role of curiosity and love in healing,

and ultimately will offer a glimpse of what’s possible when we engage in parts work as he generously agreed to conduct an IFS therapy session with me in real time. 

What unfolded turned out to be an extraordinary experience. 

One that left me changed.

The session itself increased my belief in Dick’s hopeful and inspiring sentiment:

“When we learn to love all our parts, 

we can learn to love all people - and that will contribute to healing the world.”

For more on Dick Schwartz, his books, IFS, and a directory of IFS trained therapists please visit ifs-institute.com

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts!

Did you find this conversation inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• On Honoring the Soul (pt. 1) | Parker J. Palmer
• On Heartbreak, Healing, and Transformation | Sara Avant Stover

Thanks for listening!

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Since 2018 The Courageous Life Podcast has invited many of the world’s leading thinkers, researchers, creators, writers, poets, athletes, healers, and teachers to explore how we can find the courage to live an authentic life, to derive purpose and meaning, and to meet ourselves, others, and the world around us with an open heart - as we navigate the complexity and the beauty of what it means to be human. 

Like the show itself, this “trailer” is intended to be akin to good poetry. 

It’s an invitation to slow down, to deeply exhale, and to feel the stir of the soul.

Press play to get a feel for what we are creating on The Courageous Life. 

Featuring originally composed music by Matthew Patrick Donner (Executive Producer)

And clips from Courageous Life episodes featuring: 

• Mark Nepo
• Amy Dong
• Jerry Colonna
• Stephanie Harrison
• Frank Ostaseski
• And an excerpt from Parker Palmer’s original poem: 'Everything Falls Away' (read live by Parker on the show). 

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How do we engage with one another at work in ways that foster more authentic professional relationships? 

And that ultimately lead to more equitable workplaces?

Today’s guest is Dr. Rosalind Chow - 

A leading organizational expert, professor at the Tepper School of Business, and author of the new book: The Doors You Can Open.

Rosalind argues that sponsorship is an important part of the answer to these complex questions. 

Choosing to sponsor others is a choice that’s all about lifting other people up.

It’s the act of opening doors (that may have otherwise been closed) by changing how other people see a protégé, team member, or co-worker. 

And Dr. Chow’s research shows that making this choice can yield a tremendous amount of upside. When people engage in sponsorship: 

• Not only can the organizational tide shift in the direction of social equality and inclusion. 
• It can also lead to mutually beneficial lifelong connections (rather than merely transactional interactions). 

In our conversation Rosalind and I will dive deeper into:

• Sponsorship, 
• The art and science of building trusting relationships, 
• The bold case she makes for completely changing the way we network - focusing less on what we can get, and more on what we have to give 
• And why we all have more agency and deeper networks to act as sponsors than we might think. 

For more on Rosalind, and her important new book: The Doors You Can Open please visit rosalindchow.com

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts!

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• On the Science, and Magic, of Great Conversations | Alison Wood Brooks
• On Mastering Our Emotional Life | Ethan Kross

Thanks for listening!

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In 2018 I sat down with one of the great spiritual teachers, authors, and poets of our time. 

During that conversation Mark Nepo asked a question that shook me:

"When my heart begins to close, how do I open it again?"

My life, my work, and the trajectory of the podcast shifted as a result.

The question was presented not as a simple one, with a static answer,

But rather as an inquiry to live into - Allowing life’s experiences to reveal the answers over time.

In 2023 Mark came back on the show to take a deeper and more expansive dive into this beautiful question and the broader terrain of heart work.

In this episode we cover 3 conversational chapters. 

1. How do we open the heart in the face of a storm? 

2. How do we follow our heart and engage in the practice of being real as we make the courageous journey toward wholeness? 

3. How can we meet life’s adversities, and challenges from a place of love vs. fear?

What unfolded here was 5 years in the making, and remains one of the more popular episodes we’ve put out to date. 

So today we thought we’d re release it as part of season 5. We hope you enjoy!
 
 For more on Mark including his wonderful book Surviving Storms: Finding the Strength to Meet Adversity please visit marknepo.com.

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts!

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love: 

• On Honoring the Soul (pt. 1) | Parker Palmer
• On Honoring the Soul (pt. 2 | Parker Palmer
• On Wisdom and Love in Troubling Times | Mark Nepo & Elizabeth Lesser

Thanks for listening!

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“Is the life I am living the same as the life that wants to live in me?” 

This searching question is one that bestselling author, legendary teacher and activist Parker J. Palmer has been exploring for decades. 

His practice of living this question, 

resulting in the type of wisdom that can only come from the crucible of one’s direct experience. 

And Parker being the celebrated teacher and leader that he is 

Has generously offered what he’s learned over the years. Making it accessible through his writing, teaching, and speaking.

In Let Your Life Speak, now in it’s 25th anniversary edition. 

Parker writes:

"We find a path that's right for us by embracing what gives us life and rejecting what diminishes us, 

listening more closely to the voice of “true self” than to what others expect or demand of us. 

As we live more deeply into our own identity and integrity, we find both personal fulfillment and our place in the community to which we belong." 

In today’s episode (which we originally recorded in 2022) 

Parker returns to the show for a beautiful part two conversation, 

That builds on these themes, and that actually came 3 years after part one.

Together we’ll explore his reflections on living with an open heart, 

And the practice of attuning to the wisdom of our inner teacher 

As we honor the often quiet voice of our soul.

For more on Parker, his books, and the incredible work he’s done throughout his storied career please visit newcomerpalmer.com or check out the Center for Courage and Renewal at couragerenewal.org

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• On Honoring the Soul (pt. 1) | Parker J. Palmer
• On Work, Friendship, and Embracing Impermanence | Parker Palmer & Jerry Colonna

Enjoying the show? Please rate it and leave a review wherever you listen to your podcasts!

Thanks for listening!

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What leads us to live divided lives that defy our own sense of identity and integrity? 

When we do, what price do we and the world pay? 

How can we recover the wholeness that is our birthright? 

Today’s guest, legendary teacher, activist, and author Parker J. Palmer―

has helped people in every walk of life rise to the challenge of living “divided no more.”

In his book, A Hidden Wholeness, now in its 20th Anniversary Edition, 

He examines the forces that deflect us from the soul's true north, 

and ultimately offers up his trademark blend of heart, humor, and wisdom. 

In addition, Parker generously shares practices that might help us embody integrity in a world where it often feels risky to be who we are. 

In today’s conversation which was originally recorded in 2019 we’ll explore what it means to embrace wholeness, 

The courage required to make the journey,

And how we might find sturdy footing along the way - both in solitude and community - as we seek to live with deeper integrity at every level of our lives.

For more on Parker, his books, and the incredible work he’s done throughout his storied career please visit newcomerpalmer.com or check out the Center for Courage and Renewal at couragerenewal.org. 

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• On Wisdom and Love in Troubling Times | Mark Nepo & Elizabeth Lesser
• On Work, Friendship, and Embracing Impermanence | Parker Palmer & Jerry Colonna

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts. 

Thanks for listening!

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What if the time is never coming when you’re ‘on top of things’, or finally feel like you know what you’re doing?

For years, New York Times Bestselling author Oliver Burkeman has dared to ask provocative questions like these.

The sort of questions that invite us to examine popular cultural views about what it means to work and live well.

In his beautiful and brilliant books, his longtime column in the Guardian, and other writings,

Oliver has been a leading voice helping to unravel myths about the often celebrated idea that we can 'do it all'.

Rather than chasing perfectionism he invites us to embrace our imperfections,

To confront our mortality,

and to explore deeper questions about what matters, and what will bring us fully alive in the brief time we’re here.

Today we are re-releasing this inspiring conversation from 2024 - one of the most popular we've ever had on the show.

In it we’ll thoroughly explore how and why imperfectionism may actually be the path to experiencing a more meaningful, productive, absorbing and energizing life –

not later, but right here in the midst of the overwhelm, the distraction, and the anxiety-inducing news headlines.

For more on today's themes be sure to check out Oliver's profound new book, Meditations for Mortals, which you can pick up wherever books are sold. 

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• On Wholeness, Service, and Enduring Happiness | Stephanie Harrison
• On Unwinding Toxic Productivity | Israa Nasir

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts. 

Thanks for listening!

More about Oliver:

Oliver Burkeman is a best-selling author and keynote speaker. His books include Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts, Four Thousand Weeks, as well as The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking. For many years Oliver wrote a popular weekly column on psychology for the Guardian. His work has also appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Psychologies and New Philosopher. For more please visit: Oliverburkeman.com

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To care, to love, and to be human,

Means we will inevitably experience heartbreak. 

Whether its the loss of relationship,

The end of a job, 

The death of a loved one,

A natural disaster, infertility, a financial crisis, or any shape that loss may take.

Heartbreak sends us reeling―

Leaving many of us feeling alone and adrift. 

After her own experience of serial heartbreak over the span of five years, 

Sara Avant Stover wrote her latest book: Handbook for the Heartbroken.

Feeling impacted by our culture’s dysfunctional relationship with loss Sara says:

“We’re encouraged at every turn to hurry up and get on with it, but by trying to power through these messier seasons of life, we’re denying ourselves the very answers to our healing and growth.”

In today’s conversation we are going to slow down and unpack some of Sara’s greatest insights about the landscape of heartbreak. 

Including how we can find the courage, hope, strength, and resilience to move through it.

That the path forward is not alone, but together.

And how Sara’s insights, teachings, stories and practices serve as a powerful reminder - 

That if we can find the courage to embrace change with an open heart, 

including when things fall apart completely, 

we might ultimately become a wiser, more mature, and integrated human being through the process.

For more on Sara, including her books, retreats, the work she does as an Internal Family Systems Practitioner, and Business Strategist to entrepreneurial women please visit saraavantstover.com

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you’ll love:

• Meditation, Awakening, and Original Love | Henry Shukman
• Strong Back, Soft Front: The Practice of a Lifetime | Elizabeth Lesser
• Finding the Strength to Meet Adversity | Mark Nepo

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Thanks for listening!

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When our good friends encounter challenges,

A default response for many of us is often:

• To have their back
• To show up fully
• To be kind
• To put judgment aside, 
• And to remind them that they are not alone. 

When we turn this practice, of being for someone, toward ourselves, particularly in the face of:

• obstacles, 
• hardships, 
• adversity, 
• and failure,

it's called self-compassion.

A practice that involves recognizing our own suffering, and meeting it with love, 

As we learn to become a good friend to ourselves. 

Over time learning to listen less to the harsh whispers of the inner critic, 

And more to the encouraging words from that wiser part of us - Our inner ally.

When we practice in this way, the door to a more sustainable and expansive experience opens, 

And we have the opportunity to walk through it and into the rest of our life with greater resilience, ease, wellbeing, and balance.

Today’s guest, Megan Prager, is Director of Compassion Programs at the University of California San Diego’s Center for Mindfulness. 

Megan is one of the leading teachers of mindful self compassion in the US.

She hosts retreats, classes, and experiences that offer the opportunity to learn mindfulness, compassion, and a whole host of practices that foster an opportunity to learn to become better friends to ourselves. 

Today we are going to take a deep dive into Megan’s journey to becoming the teacher and leader she is today. 

A journey that was marked by her own experiences of adversity, suffering, and (particularly at the beginning) skepticism of the very practices she now teaches.

We’ll also get into the fiercer aspects of self-compassion that involve:

Boundary setting, 

Fnding the courage to show up in integrity, 

And how self-compassion can be helpful in the challenging and uncertain times we find ourselves in. 

For more on Megan, her classes, retreats, teacher trainings, and various other offerings, please visit mindfullabs.com

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• On Wholeness, Service, and Enduring Happiness | Stephanie Harrison
• Embracing the Journey From 'Doing' to 'Being' with Amy Dong

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts. 

Thanks for listening!

Support the show