The Courageous Life

In his new book, Outraged: Why We Fight About Morality and Politics and How to Find Common Ground,

Neuroscientist and Moral psychologist Dr. Kurt Gray argues that for the majority of our evolutionary history, humans were more hunted than hunter. 

Which might just be the game changing perspective we need for these times.

Kurt reminds us that in contrast to predators,

Prey animals are hard-wired to scan for threats, and to do everything in our power to protect ourselves from being harmed. 

Fast forward to the present and it becomes a bit easier to understand what’s driving the division, and moral outrage we see each day.

Our shared collective DNA (as a prey species) offering a compelling reminder that we are more alike than we might think.

Rather than intending to destroy each other, most of us are actually just trying to protect ourselves, our families, and members of our communities.

Drawing on groundbreaking research, Dr. Gray doesn’t just offer us a captivating new explanation for our moral outrage, 

He offers us hope. 

As well as some incredibly insightful practices for increasing understanding, and ultimately for finding common ground. 

Perhaps the most basic of these being:

 If you want to understand the morals of the “other side,” you can begin by asking yourself a simple question—what harms do they see?

Today we’ll take a deep dive into these themes as we unpack some of Kurt’s greatest insights about:

What leads to moral outrage, 

What can help diffuse it, 

And how we can find our way back to eachother. 

For more on Kurt, his incredible work at both the Center for the science of Moral Understanding and the Deepest Beliefs Lab, as well as his new book Outraged, check out kurtjgray.com

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

Finding Solutions to Seemingly Intractable Problems | Rob Fersh and Mariah Levison

Rediscovering the Art of Constructive Dialogue | Dr. Mylien Duong

About Dr. Kurt Gray:

A social psychologist and an award-winning researcher and teacher, Kurt Gray uses interdisciplinary methods to study our deepest held beliefs and how to bridge moral divides.

Dr. Gray is a Professor in Psychology and Neuroscience at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, where he directs the Deepest Beliefs Lab and the Center for the Science of Moral Understanding. He is also an Adjunct Professor in Organizational Behavior at the Kenan-Flagler Business School at UNC, where he teaches about organizational ethics and team processes. Dr. Gray received his PhD from Harvard University.

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In his new book, Original Love, Zen meditation master, award winning author and poet, and renowned spiritual teacher Henry Shukman offers a tantalizing proposition. 

At any moment there is a powerful possibility available to us.

A possibility of piercing the illusion of separateness,

And experiencing a profound sense of connection.

In these moments which are deemed by some as ‘awakening', 

it can seem almost as if a spell is broken. 

That we are waking up from a sort of dream.

As we see, feel, and know (in our bones) that there is in fact no separation. 

That at some level everything and everyone are connected. 

Henry argues that these experiences can be the single most healing, positively life-transforming events that can happen to us. 

Well documented for centuries, across different wisdom traditions, and now explored through scientific inquiry,

Experiences of waking up to our interconnected nature often lead to large positive shifts in our priorities.

We tend to move from self-protection and self-promotion toward a natural flow of compassion and concern for others and the world.

This boundless interconnected experience is what Henry calls Original Love. 

In today's conversation Henry and I will explore this possibility in depth,

As we unpack what might lead us back to Original Love. 

Including practices we can bring into our lives, our work, and our relationships.

Practices like :

• Letting go
• Allowing what’s here to be here as it is
• Loosening the grip of control and learning to relax into uncertainty. 

And Henry will share some of his hard earned insight about meditation as a path toward greater wellbeing, connection, and awakening.

For more on Henry, including his new book Original Love, please visit henryshukman.com or check out The Way, his popular meditation app - which you can find at thewayapp.com

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Did you find this conversation inspiring? Here are other episodes we think you'll love:

On Imperfectionism and the Art of Living Well with Oliver Burkeman
Strong Back, Soft Front: The Practice of a Lifetime with Elizabeth Lesser

About Henry Shukman:

Henry Shukman (IG: @henryshukman) is an authorized Zen Master in the Sanbo Zen lineage, and is spiritual director emeritus of Mountain Cloud Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico. 

He is the co-founder and lead meditation teacher for The Way, a meditation app that provides a modern update to the ancient path of meditation training. He also leads meditation courses and retreats. 

Henry is an award-winning poet and author, whose memoir One Blade of Grass recounts his own journey through meditation practice. His new book Original Love: The Four Inns on the Path of Awakening is a manual and map describing the four key zones of meditation practice.

Thanks for listening!

For Joshua's live events, coaching, and offerings please visit: practicingcourage.com

For more about Executive Producer Matthew Donner visit: matthewpatrickdonner.com

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Today is our final Heroes and Helpers episode for Season 4 on The Courageous Life.

This series launched earlier in 2024 and throughout the year we’ve shined a light on stories of everyday heroes,

Ordinary people who are navigating life’s challenges and adversities with hope, courage, resilience, and love. 

These are the remarkable stories of:

• Our neighbors, 
• Our friends, 
• Our colleagues, 
• And members of our communities. 

And because no one does it alone -

We’ve also focused on elevating the work of the mentors, the coaches, and the guides.

Those we call the helpers .

They are the ones who walk beside the heroes on their journey.

Helping the hero to strengthen themselves, and transform in ways that allow them to meet their life from a wiser, more skillful, and often more responsive place.

Today’s episode invites you into another one of these uplifting conversations with Lizi Oceransky.

Lizi holds an MA in Counseling and is a Master Certified Coach.

She’s a gifted helper who creates space for those she works with to:

connect with their true selves,

feel accepted for who they really are,

and explore new possibilities for growth and fulfillment.

During our conversation Lizi will share more about: 

• Her journey to discovering belonging and self-acceptance, 
• A deep knowing from the time she was young about what the work she was here to do.
• A helper who challenged her to step fully into that work. 
• And more about her passion for offering spaces where people feel a deep sense of belonging as they pursue what matters to them. 

To learn more about Lizi please visit lizi4u.com

Did you find this conversation inspiring? Here are other episodes we think you'll love:

• Embracing the journey from 'doing' to 'being' with Amy Dong
• The power of presence with Vicky Furlan

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  Thanks for listening!

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As we get ready to close out the 4th season of The Courageous Life  

we are revisiting inspiring stories of everyday heroes and the helpers who walk beside them.

These Conversations, which launched this year, shine a light on ordinary people,

Our neighbors, friends, colleagues, and members of our communities, 

who rise up to meet challenges, 

And navigate their journey through the messy middle parts of life with hope, courage, compassion, love, and resilience.

And because no one does it alone (not even heroes) this series also features conversations with helpers:

The mentors, 
The coaches, 
The sages
and the guides. 

The people who help heroes to strengthen themselves and ultimately transform in ways that allow them to meet their lives from a wiser, more skillful, and often more responsive (vs. reactive) place. 

Today, we are highlighting Vicky Furlan.

Vicky is an HR leader, a psychologist, and a coach who believes that leaders are grown not born.

For the past 8 years, Vicky been helping people in software organizations make the leap from being high-performing individual contributors to becoming high-performing managers.

She helps those she coaches, and works with, to grow and create more fulfilling careers and lives.

To learn more about Vicky, and the wonderful work she is doing please visit vickyfurlan.com

During our conversation Vicky will share more about her own journey, how she walks beside people, and her steadfast belief in the importance of giving people the permission to be human at work. 

Did you find this conversation inspiring? Here are other episodes we think you'll love:

• Acceptance and unconditional positive regard with Liliana Öğün
• Embracing the journey from 'doing' to 'being' with Amy Dong

  Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts. 
  
  Thanks for listening!

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What does it mean to live a 'good life'?

For centuries philosophers, theologians, and psychologists have explored this question.

Arguing primarily that there are two distinct paths to living well.

The first might be casually thought of as sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

Choosing pleasure as our primary pursuit - building our life around a simple equation:

The more pleasant experiences we have, the better life is.

The second path is the pursuit of a meaningful life. Choosing to craft our lives, and our work in ways that lead to a greater sense of purpose, and fulfillment.

The reality is, there are strong arguments behind the benefits of taking either path,

And when you combine the two it may be an even more potent recipe for a life well lived.

But what if these answers are incomplete?

If all we need is more happiness or meaning, why aren’t more of us achieving that truly “good” life?

Today's guest, Philosopher and popular Middlebury professor Dr. Lorraine Besser is shedding light on the missing third piece in our search for the Good Life—

what researchers refer to as psychological richness.

And what Lorraine calls The Interesting.

In today’s conversation we will take a deep dive into Lorraine’s work and her beautiful new book - The Art of the Interesting: What We Miss in Our Pursuit of the Good Life and How to Cultivate It,

We’ll explore how interesting experiences captivate our minds, engage our thoughts and emotions, and often change our perspective.   

And how ultimately when we choose to take the path of interesting experiences we live a fuller and more satisfying life. 

For more on Lorraine, and The Art of the Interesting, please visit Lorrainebesser.com

Did you find today's episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• Neuroscience, Spirituality, and the Quest for an Inspired Life | Dr. Lisa Miller
• Pride: Is the Deadliest Sin the Secret to Success? | Dr. Jessica Tracy

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What if the time is never coming when you’re ‘on top of things’, or finally feel like you know what you’re doing?

For years, New York Times Bestselling author Oliver Burkeman has dared to ask provocative questions like these.

The sort of questions that invite us to examine popular cultural views about what it means to work and live well.

In his beautiful and brilliant books, his longtime column in the Guardian, and other writings,

Oliver has been a leading voice helping to unravel myths about the often celebrated idea that we can 'do it all'.

Rather than chasing perfectionism he invites us to embrace our imperfections,

To confront our mortality,

and to explore deeper questions about what matters, and what will bring us fully alive in the brief time we’re here.

In today's conversation we’ll thoroughly explore how and why imperfectionism may actually be the path to experiencing a more meaningful, productive, absorbing and energizing life –

not later, but right here in the midst of the overwhelm, the distraction, and the anxiety-inducing news headlines.

For more on today's themes be sure to check out Oliver's profound new book, Meditations for Mortals, which you can pick up wherever books are sold. 

Did you find this episode inspiring? Here are other conversations we think you'll love:

• The Life-Changing Power of Saying No | Dr. Vanessa Patrick
• Letting Go of Perfectionism and Finding Happiness | Tal Ben-Shahar

More about Oliver:

Oliver Burkeman is a best-selling author and keynote speaker. His books include Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts, Four Thousand Weeks, as well as The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking. For many years Oliver wrote a popular weekly column on psychology for the Guardian. His work has also appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Psychologies and New Philosopher. For more please visit: Oliverburkeman.com

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts. 

Thanks for listening!

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Dr. Jonathan Fisher, is a Harvard educated cardiologist, a mindfulness teacher, and an outspoken leader passionate about helping to end the epidemic of clinician burnout in healthcare.
 
 In sharing his own story he writes:
 
 "I took care of 20,000 hearts before taking care of my own.
 
 For years, I hid my anxiety, depression, and burnout behind the facade of being a “perfect” doctor.
 
 That effort took a toll.
 
 So, I began a journey to understand true healing, health, and happiness.
 
 Along the way, I realized others were also seeking the same timeless practices that helped me thrive."

 Today, Jonathan is on the show, and will generously share some of that journey through:

• His expertise as a heart doctor, 
• His depth of insight gained both as a student and teacher of ancient wisdom practices like mindfulness and self-compassion,
• And his experiences of working through the process of burnout recovery and healing his own heart. 

This conversation sheds a light not only on the transformative power of opening the heart (on our health, our relationships, our work, and our lives broadly)
 
 But also on the courage it takes to do so. 
 
 Particularly when the world we find ourselves in can feel cold, and scary. 
 
 Jonathan is one of those courageous leaders who engages in the practice of opening the heart and invites us to do the same, 
 
 But, importantly, to do with skillful discernment. 
 
 Offering a reminder that courage and wisdom are two virtues that are often best paired together. 

I hope you enjoy the time with Jonathan as much as I did.
 
 Did you find this conversation inspiring? Here are other episodes we think you'll love:

• The Art of Being Human at Work | Ali Schultz
• Strong Back, Soft Front - The Practice of a Lifetime | Elizabeth Lesser

 Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts!
 
 About Jonathan:

Dr. Jonathan Fisher is a cardiologist who focuses on healing the heart in the broadest sense, encompassing both the physical and emotional aspects of cardiac care. Educated at Harvard and Mt. Sinai, he is a mindfulness meditation teacher and organizational well-being leader. Dr. Fisher has designed programs for an organization with 38,000 team members, reducing stress and enhancing well-being. He is the author of Just One Heart: A Cardiologist's Guide to Healing, Health, and Happiness. He has delivered keynotes, workshops, and retreats for organizations globally across various industries. His efforts in addressing burnout in healthcare, including co-hosting the Ending Clinician Burnout Global Summit, have garnered international attention. For more, please visit: drjonathanfisher.com

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Today's practice features guest teacher Amy Dong.

Amy is a talented therapist, and a breath work facilitator, who specializes in helping both individuals and couples to find steady footing through life’s inevitable twists & turns.

She’s also the author of a beautiful sub stack called The Softening.

Which she describes as a walk through our internal landscape, a journey with mental health and well-being in long form.

In our most recent Courageous Life episode, Amy joined me in conversation as we dove headfirst into the topic of uncertainty and the possibility of opening and softening as we learn to let go, surrender, and trust ourselves.

Today's practice builds on that conversation as Amy will invite you to explore a powerful blend of progressive muscle relaxation and breathwork.

The intention is to notice where we’re holding tension, physically and metaphorically, and pausing to release.

Please note: if you’re pregnant, it’s not advised to do the breath holds.

If you want to dive deeper into this topic I would encourage you to check out the interview with Amy (if you haven't already):

• Everything You Want is on the Other Side of Fear | Amy Dong

Thank you for your practice.

I look forward to continuing together next Thursday!

-Joshua

Looking for more practice opportunities? 

Check out:

• Free Meditation Events - 60 minute gatherings with Joshua held 2x a month over zoom
• The Practice Pass - An annual membership that gives you on-demand access to robust practice experiences including the 28-Day Practicing Courage Challenge, The 5-Day Transforming Stress Challenge and the brand NEW Creativity Challenge.
• The FREE Practice Library

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Our 20’s are a unique season in our lives. 

While often romanticized as a decade that should be a high point

It’s a time often fraught with major life transitions

From leaving the familiar rhythms of school

Which so many of us have known since early childhood

To (for many of us) entering the work force full time, for the first time

To shifts in meaningful relationships, and our sense of community as we say goodbye to good friends, move to pursue jobs, and travel down different paths. 

The variety of these transitions is connected by our shared underlying experience of uncertainty as we navigate uncharted territory.

This familiar experience brings up important questions:

• What does it mean to live well in our 20’s? 
• And how might we do so practically?

Which are at the heart of our exploration in a new 3-episode mini series that shines a light on our 20’s and the possibility of making the most of this decade. 

Each episode will invite you into an intimate and thought-provoking conversation with amazing guests who will offer up: 

• Powerful insights
• Tool sand practices
• Research 
• And some of their own stories about navigating uncertainty and answering some of the prickly existential questions that begin to surface in early adulthood.

Last week we kicked things off with Dr. Meg Jay.

Meg is a therapist and bestselling author who a recent New York Times profile called “the patron saint of striving youth” 

Her TED talk “Why 30 Is Not the New 20” is among the most watched ever. 

If you haven’t already I would encourage you to go back and tune in to that conversation as it complements this episode beautifully. You can find it here:

Today, Amy Dong is back on the show. 

Amy is a talented therapist, and a breath work facilitator, who specializes in helping both individuals and couples to find steady footing through life’s inevitable twists & turns.

She’s also the author of a beautiful sub stack called The Softening.

Which she describes as a walk through our internal landscape, a journey with mental health and well-being in long form.

Amy's work is informed by her own depth of practice, and courageous experiments in living fully, as she embraces all aspects of what it means to be human. 

And she’s in her 20’s and works with many clients in their 20’s so the perspective she brings is quite unique, and I think you’ll find it both interesting and valuable as she shares her own stories, as well as tools and practices that have helped the people and communities she serves.

In today's episode: 

Amy and I will dive headfirst into the topic of uncertainty and the possibility of opening and softening as we learn to let go, surrender, and trust ourselves. 

• We’ll talk about the power of embracing curiosity, 
• The subtle and difficult art of slowing down, 
• and why everything we want may be on the other side of fear. 

This was a powerful conversation, and I hope you enjoy the time with Amy as much as I did.

Did you find this conversation inspiring? Here are other episodes we think you'll love: 

• A Revolutionary Remedy for Uncertainty - In Our 20's and Beyond | Dr. Meg Jay

Enjoying the show? Please rate it wherever you listen to your podcasts!

Thanks for listening!

Support the show

This past week clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Meg Jay was back on the show. 

One of the big themes we explored together was uncertainty,

And how we can experience more ease in the face of it. 

Meg offered a useful reminder that when we experience uncertainty 

research shows that our amygdala becomes more active.  

The amygdala being the part of the brain that is often casually referred to as the "alarm bell."

Simply put, when things are uncertain we don't tend to like it very much.

• We want a plan.
• We want to feel like we are in control.
• We want to know.
• We want answers. 

Part of the reason for this is that sitting in uncertainty can feel vulnerable,

And by definition when we are vulnerable we are more susceptible to harm,

and more open to attacks.

As a result our body and mind have evolved to respond to uncertainty accordingly.

Our perspective can narrow.

The mind can race.

Our heart rate can increase, and we can become more contracted as we enter into a 'threat state'.

Knowing this can be helpful in that it gives us greater awareness.

But what’s even more helpful (at least in my view) is using that awareness to explore ways we can strengthen our ability to relax into uncertainty.

To explore ways we can find ease in not knowing as we learn to make friends with uncertainty.

This is like a superpower for our time. 

Today’s practice will offer up a couple of ideas for how to practically grow this capacity in ourselves.

If you want to dive deeper into this topic I would encourage you to check out the interview with Meg Jay (if you haven't already):

• A Revolutionary Remedy for Uncertainty -In Our 20's and Beyond - Dr. Meg Jay

Or  pick up a copy of her book: The Twentysomething Treatment: A Revolutionary Remedy for an Uncertain Age

Thank you for your practice.

I look forward to continuing together next Thursday!

-Joshua

Looking for more practice opportunities? 

Check out:

• LIVE 6 Week Training in Positive Neuroplasticity with Joshua (begins October 5th, 2024)
• Free Meditation Events - 60 minute gatherings with Joshua held 2x a month over zoom
• The Practice Pass - An annual membership that gives you on-demand access to robust practice experiences including the 28-Day Practicing Courage Challenge, The 5-Day Transforming Stress Challenge and the brand NEW Creativity Challenge.
• The FREE Practice Library

Support the show