October 22, 2025

The Discipline Reframe Every Parent Needs: Teach Don’t Punish

42 minutes

If you’ve ever wondered why traditional discipline like timeouts, threats, punishments feel off or doesn’t actually work, this episode will change the way you see toddler behavior.

I’m joined by Devon Kuntzman, toddler expert and founder of Transforming Toddlerhood, to talk about how we can move from managing our kids’ behavior to teaching through it. We unpack why toddlers act out, how to handle power struggles without punishment, and how parents can stay calm (and human) in those messy moments. Devon shares her framework for effective discipline, the difference between natural and arbitrary consequences, and the long game of raising emotionally intelligent kids.

We discuss:

Why toddlerhood isn’t “terrible”—it’s transformational and what’s really happening in the toddler brain

Why punishment feels effective short-term but harms long-term growth

The 3 parts of effective discipline: connection, limits, and teaching skills

How to pause before reacting when you’re triggered and the power of noticing positive behavior

How to reframe “bad” behavior as communication

The one question that can change how you discipline

To connect with Devon Kuntzman check out all her resources at https://www.transformingtoddlerhood.com/. Follow her on Instagram at @transformingtoddlerhood. And purchase her brand new book “Transforming Toddlerhood” available now: https://urlgeni.us/amzn/TTBook

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00:00 – The mindset shift: Teach, don’t punish

01:10 – Welcome & introduction to Devon Kuntzman

02:30 – Why toddlerhood isn’t terrible—it’s teachable

05:00 – Understanding your toddler’s brain and behavior

07:40 – Behavior as communication: decoding what kids are telling us

09:00 – From control to connection: the real purpose of discipline

10:45 – The recipe for effective discipline (connection, limits, teaching)

13:20 – Natural vs. logical vs. arbitrary consequences

17:00 – Why quick fixes don’t work and the long game of discipline does

25:30 – How to pause, stay grounded, and model emotional regulation

29:15 – Dr. Mona’s “bubble hack” and real-life calm-down strategies

31:30 – Positive reinforcement: noticing the behavior you want to see

35:00 – The ultimate reframe: what skill does my child need to learn?

37:00 – You’re human, your child’s human—progress over perfection

38:00 – Closing reflections and where to find Devon’s book

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By Dr. Mona Amin

4.9

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