The Fertility Podcast

Joining us this week, on what is World Childless Week, is a familiar face. As some of you will know, Kate Pleace is one half of the ‘Kate’ double act, as she works with me in my practice seeing many of our fertility and menopause patients. However, Kate is more than just that - she’s also my beautiful friend.

Kate and I first met here on The Fertility Podcast, many moon's ago, when Nat and I interviewed her to find out more about her experiences of a rare condition called progesterone sensitivity, which sadly ended her fertility journey. Kate is living a life without children but that hasn't held her back from living her life to the full.

What we discussed:

• Kate tells us about her fertility journey that started back in 2012, like the majority of her patients, she had some time trying to conceive.
• Kate then moved onto IVF treatment using her own eggs which then lead to one unsuccessful cycle and one cycle that was cancelled.
• Kate talks about how she discovered that she had Premature Ovarian Insuffiency (POI) 
• Her husband and Kate looked at using egg donation. This was Kate’s last cycle of treatment, and she became pregnant for the first time.
• Unfortunately, Kate develped a condition called progesterone hypersensitivity which made her very ill and resulted in a miscarriage.
• After Kate started to feel better, her and her husband made the decision to end their fertility journey. 
• Kate talked about she felt she was childless but not by choice and how the decision was made for her.
• Kate and I talked about World Childless Week and what the campaign is doing during the week. 
• We talked about how employee’s who are childless feel underrepresented within the workplace, and how companies should start to include them in the fertility programmes that are in place. 
• How those who are single, childless or alone should receive something as well so that they feel like they are seen too. 
• Kate and I discussed how the language we use when talking about trying to conceive is important, and even if it was not meant to upset the other person, it is still hurtful. 
• Kate talks about her experience with comments and the language used when she was going through her fertility journey. 
• We also talked about moving forward, and not moving on. Understanding that there is an after.
• Kate mentions legacy and how she felt like legacy was meant for someone else, that she was supposed to leave a legacy behind when in actual fact it is your legacy. Do it for yourself. 
• Kate’s advice to you is: take the time to just be and to reflect with your partner and don’t try to force yourself to go to those baby showers or events like it. Be brave enough to say that you aren’t feeling up to it. Remember that you need to support yourself as well as others. 

If you would like to listen to more episodes on The Fertility Podcast that cover childlessness take a look at these:

https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/childless-not-by-choice/

https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/worldchildlessweek/

https://www.thefertilitypodcast.com/robin/

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Follow @fertility_menopause_support on Instagram

World Childless Week

We're back with Series 2 of The F Word at Work from Fertility Matters (FMAW) at Work and we're launching into our new season discussing the changes to the Surrogacy reform bill in conversation Mike Johnson-Ellis.

If you have been following us and FMAW for a while, you know that Mike is our good friend and are working closely with My Surrogacy Journey supporting intended parents with workplace issues. If you don't know Mike he is a prominent advocate for surrogacy and fertility treatments and along with his partner Wes, is the founder of Two Dads UK with his partner Wes and the pair have founded My Surrogacy Journey (MSJ) and the Modern Family Show.

You can hear our previous conversation with Mike where he talks through his personal experience at work, and what it was like as a gay man in a toxic male environment where he was told that becoming a parent was 'committing career suicide'!!

Mike and Wes have immense passion in the work they do and we're proud to partner with them as they raising awareness about the significance of surrogacy for LGBT+ couples. Mike has been recognized as a pioneering figure within the LGBT+ community and honored with The Surrogacy Professional of the Year Award and is in high demand as a speaker for various LGBT-themed events, so we're delighted to have him on the pod again.

What we discussed:

• Mike's work with TwoDadsUK.com and My Surrogacy Journey and the conversations they have around gay parenting and diversity to fertility treatment and the journey to parenthood through surrogacy, all with a focus on LGBTQ+ parenting.
• The Modern Family Show, a family-building event happening on 23.09.23 - tickets are still available
• The recent legislative changes related to surrogacy and their impact on intended parents, what Mike considers to be a win, and what still needs to happen
• What organisations need to consider in terms of raising awareness around surrogacy, such as it being separate from adoption leave, how language needs to be more inclusive
• What not to say to people who are embarking on surrogacy - comments such as 'you're buying a baby' or 'just adopt' are ill-informed and offensive
• The importance of inviting men in to talk about their health, especially their fertility, and how gay men in particular have a lack of education about their fertile health
• How awareness-raising webinars with men is a powerful way to validate the conversation
• Mike's plans for further family building through surrogacy in Mexico City as My Surrogacy Journey are now supporting a pathway in Mexico.

Have a listen to our past conservation with Mike Ellis about Surrogacy here.

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*Trigger Warning: Mentions of pregnancy loss*

In this episode of The Fertility Podcast I chat with the Infertile Midwife, Sophie Martin about infertility, IVF and pregnancy loss. Sophie’s experiences inspired her to write a deeply personal and moving memoir and changed her perspective on her practice as a midwife. Sophie shares how pregnancy loss can impact on the wider family, something we might not have the emotional energy to consider at the time. We also talk about the publication of the recent Pregnancy Loss Review and Sophie’s hopes for change as a result.

What we discussed:

• Sophie shares her infertility journey, including her gut feeling that she was going to struggle to conceive, and the ultimate decision to access privately funded IVF
• We talk about Sophie’s joy of finding out that she was pregnant with identical twins and then the devastation when she went into spontaneous labour at 21 weeks
• Sophie talks about her decision to share the story of Wilfred and Cecil because pregnancy loss is not something to be ashamed of.
• How her own experience has changed her practice as a midwife and that Sophie has gained a different level of understanding her patients.
• We talked about Sophie going back to work and how she coped with the inevitable triggers.
• Sophie shares her experience of further rounds of IVF, becoming pregnant again and how to cope with pregnancy after infertility and loss.
• We discussed the impact of loss on the wider family. Sophie shares how it is important to learn to lean on others and being open with your family.
• We discussed the recent Pregnancy Loss Review and our hopes for the future.
• And to finish, Sophie tells me about her book, to be released on the 31st of August 2023. Her book is a moving, hopeful and warm account of her work as a midwife in a busy London hospital whilst dealing with infertility and pregnancy loss

Socials:

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Follow Sophie Martin (@the.infertile.midwife) • Instagram photos and videos on Instagram

You can pre-order Sophie’s book here The Infertile Midwife: In Search of Motherhood - A Memoir (geni.us)

You can check out the Pregnancy Loss review here Pregnancy Loss Review - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

You can find out more about Sepsis here Symptoms of sepsis - NHS (www.nhs.uk)

Welcome back to the Fertility Podcast, after our summer break we return with Fertility Coach Sarah Banks to talk about support (or sadly the lack of) in IVF clinics. Both Sarah and I hear frequently, from the people we support, that there is just not enough emotional support in clinics. Sarah is working hard to raise awareness of this with fertility clinics, and has recently completed a survey with her support communities to assess the degree of emotional support provided in clinics.

This is what we discussed:

• Sarah explains the results of her survey. From a total of 200 responses so far, respondents rated the level of support as 4.9 out of 10. 
• 8.4% reported having zero support in their clinic and 60% felt that their clinic did not have a culture of support. Many respondents felt that the degree of support had lessened since the Pandemic, with patients feeling more like a number than an individual.
• We talked about how there is an expectation of support and that it is now greater than it has ever been. Sarah explained why this might be the case.
• Sarah talked about how clinics have received her data and that she is finding that they are more open to understanding what patients need but we still have a long way to go.
• Sarah offered suggestions for the types of support that clinics should be offering. Counseling in clinics is often limited to one session, and counseling is not for everyone. Sarah discusses the benefit of a support group to find commonality and to feel validated, reading materials, signposting to reputable social media accounts, Apps etc
• Sarah highlights that there needs to be a culture change among staff and the importance of receiving training to better understand the emotional needs of patients. Understandably, staff in clinics are very busy but they need to be empathetic to patients so that they feel fully supported.
• Sarah shares her fertility journey of 6 years and two cycles of IVF to conceive her son. This led her to retrain to be a fertility coach, and set up support groups locally and internationally. 
• Sarah later developed the IVF Positivity Planner which is a fabulous resource to support you on your fertility journey. The planner is a coaching book combined with a 12 week journal to help you focus on the things you can control, from self care to action plans and goal setting to help you move forward. We totally recommend it!
• Finally Sarah’s advice if you feel you're not getting support from you clinic is to speak to them and tell them how you're feeling. Clinics do want to support you, so feed this back to them and get your voice heard. You can also look for professional support via BICA (British Infertility Counseling Association) or you may prefer a fertility coach to support you.
• We would love to hear your experiences of the support you received at your clinic. Check out Sarah’s survey via the link in her instagram bio (see below)

Socials:

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Follow Sarah Banks | Fertility Coach (@ivfpositivityplanner) on Instagram

Find IVF Positivity Planner – Sarah Banks Coaching 

BICA - https://www.bica.net/

Fertility Coaching with Kate and Sarah

Episode Sponsor @ovomcare on instagram www.ovomcare.com

This week we have a friend of the podcast returning to chat. Shaun a.k.a @knackered_knackers was previously on the podcast talking about his fertility journey using donor sperm. You can check out his previous episode Sperm Banter on the Fertility Podcast website. Now he is back with updates and more! Tune in to listen to what he is doing now and how his experiences have changed his life.

Here is what we discussed:

• Shaun updates us on his fertility journey using donor sperm
• His experience with male factor fertility, how he felt when receiving news about his fertility
• His decision to start a new career path to help others and how that is working out for him.
• How he has started to share his story to help others on a similar journey to him and try to gain more awareness around male fertility.
• Why Shaun is training to be a coach and why he felt there was a need for a dedicated fertility coach for men.
• Shaun’s tips on what to do to stay focused when receiving news from the doctor and how to cope with that news.
• The support he got from those around him, and how that helped him to then better himself and his clients
• What it is like having donor conceived children
• His process with his clients, how he gets them to open up, and why it is so important to talk.

Socials:

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Follow @knackered_knackers on Instagram

Find Shaun’s previous episode here Sperm Banter • The Fertility Podcast

This episode of the Fertility Podcast, Zoe is joining me as we talk about the importance of feeling empowered on your fertility journey and being able to advocate for yourself. Zoe talks about her infertility and how it led her to using donor eggs and the obstacles that she and her partner faced in order to create their family.

What we discussed:

• Her diagnosis of childhood cancer and how this impacted her fertility for the future
• How Zoe dealt with her infertility and how it she had to have a difficult conversation with her husband, early on in their relationship
• The options they had to consider when trying for a baby
• Talking about Zoe’s journey with donor conception and her decision to choose an anonymous donor
• Being told by her clinic in Spain that her first donor cycle would definitely be successful and then the shock of a negative pregnancy test
• How Zoe was able to positively advocate for herself
• How it is important to go out and do your own research and be prepared to have an honest conversation with your consultants
• Learn to cherry pick what you need and to take control and ownership of your fertility journey

Socials:

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Mitochondrial Donation Treatment - https://www.hfea.gov.uk/treatments/embryo-testing-and-treatments-for-disease/mitochondrial-donation-treatment/

The Fertility Podcast is honoured to be joined by Martha, founder of Martha Brook Stationary. Tune in to listen to Martha as she talks about the origins of Martha Brook Stationary and her own fertility journey involving 7 rounds of IVF and a battle with endometriosis.

What we discuss:

• The origins of Martha Brook London 
• Martha on her diagnosis of Endometriosis 
• Martha’s reaction to being told she would not be able to have children 
• How Martha juggled the challenges faced with running a business and navigating IVF treatment 
• Martha’s honesty with her work team and how her own experiences have enhanced her ability to support the emotional wellbeing of her employees
• The creation of the Martha Brook IVF journal and how it can support your fertility journey

Socials:

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Follow Martha Brook (@marthabrookldn) | Instagram on Instagram

The Martha Brook IVF Journal

Go to The Martha Brook Story | Martha Brook for more! 

Well, we made it through our first series of The F Word at Work and we can't thank you enough for listening. We'd love to hear your throughts so if you're listening to this in Apple or Spotify, please do take the time to follow this podcast and also leave us a review. We'll be back in June with Series 2, talking about the new surrogacy reform bill, as well as sharing more wise words from our members about the work they're doing and thought leadership on Mental Health at Work, make sure you've subscribed. This episode is the perfect finale to our series, a conversation with one of our trainers Katy Schnitzler, founder of Mist about her research and training around pregnancy loss and childlessness.

**Trigger warning as we talk about pregnancy loss in this episode **

This is another taboo topic within the workplace, that needs to be better understood and supported and we know you will learn a lot from what she shares.

What was discussed:

• Research into pregnancy loss
• How Katy set up a consultancy to share her research 
• How employers need training alongside policy
• How shocking some of the insensitive reactions were from line managers
• The comments that people say in general about pregnancy loss
• People are unsure of how to react to pregnancy loss - due to the taboo 
• Communication training is well received - helping people what to say
• Not assumption forming - that everyone experiences pregnancy in the same way
• If there isn’t a policy it implies you can’t speak about pregnancy loss 
• How PTSD affects someone who has experiences pregnancy loss, panic attacks 
• 1 in 6 people women show symptoms of PTSD as a result of pregnancy loss 
• How men feel overlooked - therefore the training covers the impact on partners as they are ignored 
• The language used for those around those who don’t have children
• How someone was told they didn’t get the job as the person who did had ‘more supervision’ as they’re a parent
• How working from home requests have been designed as people don’t have children 

We refer to an episode of The Fertility Podcast, which is an interview with Dr Jessica Farren about her research which you can listen to here podcast link 

We also talk about Jody Day and I've shared another episode from The Fertility Podcast here which is Jody talking about why we need to talk about childless women differently. Have a listen.

You can book a call to speak with us here. 

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Warning: Explicit content

Welcome to the Mindfulness episode! Joining me today is Amy Polly who is a Mindfullness Teacher and we will be talking about how mindfulness can help with fertility. Amy will give some tips on how you can have a go at mindfulness in your daily life. 

What we discussed:

• What drew Amy to mindfulness and how it has helped her in everyday life
• How mindfulness can help through the stress of fertility
• The research and science behind mindfulness 
• Talking about taking notice of what is around you, what you are doing - Mindfulness everyday
• Breathing meditation 

Socials:

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Follow @ThisisAmyPolly on Instagram

Find Amy Polly on LinkedIn 

Welcome to another episode of The F Word at Work. This is our penultimate series and we'd love to hear more of your feedback, so please do leave a review in the app you are listening to - it's possible in Apple & Spotify. Now, as we head towards the end of the series, we're once again sharing an example of Best Practice from one of our members News UK and we're delighted to be joined by Hannah Spencer Head of Finance Transformation. Hannah joined our launch event which we helf for the organisation in July 2022 and has been doing incredible work within a working group to support HR in it's policy development and also to offer that essential peers support which you will hear her explain more about. Hannah also recently joined us to speak on a panel discussing fertility issues at work, with This Can Happen

*Trigger warning* we talk about pregnancy loss and trauma in this episode.

What we discussed: 

• Hannah's ongoing fertility treatment journey. 
• The struggle of going through treatment whilst in the workplace. 
• Balancing work while going through treatment. 
• When Hannah first spoke out about her fertility treatment 
• The impact her treatment had on Hannah's career choices
• How Hannah's boss and teammates supported and encouraged her to accept opportunities that came her way. 
• What pushed Hannah to share her story in the panel last July 2022 
• Why people on the journey and going through treatment wouldn't want to talk openly about it 
• Hannah's colleagues spoke about their personal journeys on the panel as well. 
• The feedback after the panel and what  was been happening since 
• How they're building fertility and infertility support groups at NewsUK 
• How having peer support groups is key to becoming fertility-friendly 
• The proactive side of what NewsUK has been doing with their support groups 
• Ensuring managers know where to go and that there's a consistent approach to how people are looked after, despite everybody's experiences being different. 
• Signposting managers to the right resources - creating a manager support pathway
• How resources are important to managers to identify and learn what the team needs if they are going through fertility/infertility treatment. 
• Hannah's advice to anyone planning to start imposing the well-being agenda in the workplace 
• Hannah's take on having boundaries whilst being a fertility advocate 

Have a listen to our conversation with This Can Happen founder Zoe Sinclair here  

You can book a call to speak with us here. 

Find out more about our services and sign up for our newsletter here. 

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