The One You Feed

The Hidden Cost of Perfectionism: Why You Never Feel Good Enough with Ellen Hendriksen


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In this episode, Ellen Hendriksen discusses the hidden costs of perfectionism and why you never feel good enough. She shares the various ways perfectionism disguises itself as a positive trait—when in reality, it can lead to self-criticism, procrastination, and emotional exhaustion. Ellen also explains why perfectionism is less about being perfect and more about never feeling good enough, how self-acceptance is the antidote, and why procrastination is actually an emotional regulation problem (not a time management issue).

Key Takeaways:

(01:02) – Perfectionism isn’t about being perfect—it’s about never feeling good enough
  • (03:26) – The two wolves of perfectionism: Conscientiousness vs. Self-Criticism
  • (07:36) – Overevaluation: When self-worth gets tangled with performance
  • (16:57) – Guided Drift: Mr. Rogers’ surprising philosophy on perfection and mistakes
  • (26:51) – The power of self-compassion: You don’t need to be perfect to be worthy
  • (39:40) – Emotional Perfectionism: The toxic belief that you “shouldn’t” feel a certain way
  • (43:59) – Why procrastination is actually about emotion management—not time management
  • (50:46) – How to release past mistakes and stop ruminating over failures

    For full show notes, click here!

    If you enjoyed this episode with Ellen Hendriksen, check out these other episodes:

    How to Overcome Perfectionism and Create Your Best Work with David Kadavy

    How to Manage Social Anxiety and The Inner Critic with Ellen Hendriksen

    Being a Procrastinator with Tim Pychyl

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    The One You FeedBy Eric Zimmer

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