The One You Feed

The Hidden Cost of Perfectionism: Why You Never Feel Good Enough with Ellen Hendriksen


Listen Later

In this episode, Ellen Hendriksen discusses the hidden costs of perfectionism and why you never feel good enough. She shares the various ways perfectionism disguises itself as a positive trait—when in reality, it can lead to self-criticism, procrastination, and emotional exhaustion. Ellen also explains why perfectionism is less about being perfect and more about never feeling good enough, how self-acceptance is the antidote, and why procrastination is actually an emotional regulation problem (not a time management issue).

Key Takeaways:

  • (01:02) – Perfectionism isn’t about being perfect—it’s about never feeling good enough
  • (03:26) – The two wolves of perfectionism: Conscientiousness vs. Self-Criticism
  • (07:36) – Overevaluation: When self-worth gets tangled with performance
  • (16:57) – Guided Drift: Mr. Rogers’ surprising philosophy on perfection and mistakes
  • (26:51) – The power of self-compassion: You don’t need to be perfect to be worthy
  • (39:40) – Emotional Perfectionism: The toxic belief that you “shouldn’t” feel a certain way
  • (43:59) – Why procrastination is actually about emotion management—not time management
  • (50:46) – How to release past mistakes and stop ruminating over failures

For full show notes, click here!

If you enjoyed this episode with Ellen Hendriksen, check out these other episodes:

How to Overcome Perfectionism and Create Your Best Work with David Kadavy

How to Manage Social Anxiety and The Inner Critic with Ellen Hendriksen

Being a Procrastinator with Tim Pychyl

Connect with the show:

  • Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod
  • Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify
  • Follow us on Instagram

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

The One You FeedBy iHeartPodcasts

  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5
  • 4.5

4.5

2,324 ratings


More shows like The One You Feed

View all
Tara Brach by Tara Brach

Tara Brach

10,338 Listeners

Sounds True: Insights at the Edge by Tami Simon

Sounds True: Insights at the Edge

1,821 Listeners

Good Life Project by Jonathan Fields / Acast

Good Life Project

3,272 Listeners

Heart Wisdom with Jack Kornfield by Be Here Now Network

Heart Wisdom with Jack Kornfield

1,447 Listeners

The Psychology Podcast by iHeartPodcasts

The Psychology Podcast

1,854 Listeners

Untangle by Untangle

Untangle

826 Listeners

10% Happier with Dan Harris by 10% Happier

10% Happier with Dan Harris

12,548 Listeners

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson by Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

2,401 Listeners

Bobbycast by Nashville Podcast Network

Bobbycast

4,570 Listeners

Oprah's Super Soul by Oprah

Oprah's Super Soul

31,978 Listeners

We Knows Parenting by iHeartPodcasts

We Knows Parenting

248 Listeners

Eckhart Tolle: Essential Teachings by Oprah and Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle: Essential Teachings

3,772 Listeners

The Fred Show Feels Good News by The Fred Show

The Fred Show Feels Good News

9 Listeners

Project Listen by iHeartPodcasts

Project Listen

5 Listeners

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos by Pushkin Industries

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

14,586 Listeners

Point of Origin by iHeartPodcasts and Whetstone Media

Point of Origin

350 Listeners

Special Teams by iHeartPodcasts

Special Teams

63 Listeners

Mind & Life by Mind & Life Institute

Mind & Life

256 Listeners

We're Having a Moment by iHeartPodcasts

We're Having a Moment

235 Listeners

Drafted by iHeartPodcasts and Treefort Media

Drafted

141 Listeners

Abortion: The Body Politic with Katie Couric by iHeartPodcasts

Abortion: The Body Politic with Katie Couric

231 Listeners

Jill Scott Presents: J.ill the Podcast by iHeartPodcasts

Jill Scott Presents: J.ill the Podcast

1,536 Listeners

The Gathering Room Podcast by Martha Beck

The Gathering Room Podcast

661 Listeners

Prompt Us by iHeartPodcasts

Prompt Us

837 Listeners

Roy's Job Fair by iHeartPodcasts and Paramount Podcasts

Roy's Job Fair

804 Listeners

The Way Out Is In by Plum Village

The Way Out Is In

1,184 Listeners

Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen by Elise Loehnen and Audacy

Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

912 Listeners

Money Moves Powered By Greenwood by iHeartPodcasts

Money Moves Powered By Greenwood

62 Listeners

Maxine Miles: Volume I by iHeartPodcasts

Maxine Miles: Volume I

263 Listeners

Burke In The Game by iHeartPodcasts

Burke In The Game

158 Listeners

Angie Martinez IRL by iHeartPodcasts

Angie Martinez IRL

938 Listeners

On-Call with Kay-B by iHeartPodcasts

On-Call with Kay-B

16 Listeners

Stealing Superman by iHeartPodcasts

Stealing Superman

188 Listeners

IDEA GENERATION's All Angles by iHeartPodcasts

IDEA GENERATION's All Angles

26 Listeners

Playing Dirty: Sports Scandals by iHeartPodcasts

Playing Dirty: Sports Scandals

59 Listeners