The Imperfects

Matthew Murphy, front-man of the iconic UK band The Wombats, joins us in our first VulnerabiliTea House of 2025.

In this episode, Murph answers one of life’s most terrifying questions, “In what ways do you fear you could negatively impact your children?”

He also shares his experience with panic attacks, anxiety and depression and is extremely honest detailing how alcohol became a crutch.

Becoming sober, which Murph describes as the best decision of his life, was not easy.  Murph goes into detail about what the withdrawal process was like and how he began to find joy in activities again.

Murph, thank you for soundtracking our youths (and current lives), and thank you for this incredibly helpful conversation. 

If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4i6hRRi 

💿 Things to listen to:

• Love Fame Tragedy (Murph’s solo project) - https://apple.co/432zLQP
• The Wombats new album Oh! The Ocean - https://apple.co/4gNrgvV

Enjoyed this episode but want a little more? Good news, we have a brand new show called A Little More Imperfects over on Patreon! Visit: www.patreon.com/theimperfects

If you would like to receive a weekly Vulnerabilitea-mail newsletter, where you can answer this question yourself, click subscribe on our website www.theimperfects.com.au

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s time for Announcement Number Three! A brand-new Imperfects Live Show (!!!!!!).

That’s right, we’re going on the road again. In October, November, and December of this year (2025), we’ll be performing a brand-new stage show, around the country!

It’s gonna be bigger, it’s gonna be better, and we promise we won’t let Hugh (or Chat GPT) write the show. All responsibility will henceforth be given to Random Word Generator!

We would love and adore to see you there!

🎟️ Click here to get your tickets – https://bit.ly/3EHPYkj 

If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://bit.ly/3CYoOF8 

If you would like to subscribe to A Little More Imperfects, click here – www.patreon.com/theimperfects

🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned

• Gina Chick - Don’t Fight Life - https://apple.co/3UKpxQ8

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Psychologist Maria Ruberto is back to talk about one of the most important parts of our day: sleep.

Starting off with the biology of sleep, Maria takes us through how we get to sleep, what happens when we sleep, and why we desperately need to sleep for good health and longevity. With metaphors galore to make the science as relatable as possible, we discuss the role of melatonin, the impact of screens on our suprachiasmatic nucleus and whether it’s worth cutting your sleep short to exercise?

In more practical terms, Maria shares what sleep hygiene actually looks like, and, to Hugh and Josh’s relief, how hormones released during parenthood act to buffer against sleep deprivation.

So set your sleep alarms, get comfy, and tuck yourself in for a BIG episode!

Sweet dreams x

If you would like to watch this full video on YouTub, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4htdJLj

If you’d like to subscribe to our Patreon, A Little More Imperfects, sign up here: Patreon.com/theimperfects

🫖 Other Imperfect’s episodes mentioned in this episode:

• Maria Ruberto - Advancing Despite Adversity - https://apple.co/4e2Io05
• Dr Emily - Social Anxiety, They’ve Got It Too - https://apple.co/3COk1pd

💻 Things to check out:

• Salutegenics Psychology - https://bit.ly/3WuhOFG
• Resilience First Aid - https://bit.ly/4dEYzQT 
• Matt Walker’s Website - www.sleepdiplomat.com
• Matt Walker’s QQRT assessment - https://bit.ly/4b0ErbF

🎧 Things to listen to:

• Jerry Seinfeld - The Tim Ferriss Show - https://apple.co/3CQc6Iv

📖 Things to read:

• Why We Sleep by Matt Walker - https://bit.ly/3COHNSv
• Michael Mosley’s Research - https://bit.ly/3WVkdKC
• Resilience First Peer Reviewed Research - https://bit.ly/3CB53n5

📺 Things to watch:

• Professor Jeff Ilaff - TedTalk on Sleep - https://bit.ly/3QhgB1G
• Matt Walker - REM sleep psychosis - https://bit.ly/4gJmv6J
• Matt Walker - MasterClass on Dreaming - https://bit.ly/3CQMkUs

💤 Melbourne Sleep Labs:

*please note, some of these require a referral from a GP or specialist

• Alfred Health - https://bit.ly/42SKw80
• Monash Health - https://bit.ly/3ECiLGM
• Epworth Sleep Centre - https://bit.ly/4hzylBI
• Melbourne Sleep Disorders Centre - https://bit.ly/4gDFcbS
• The Royal Melbourne Hospital Sleep Clinic - https://bit.ly/3ELbm7Y

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The stoke level is pretty high this week because we are joined by three-time world champion surfer, shark attack survivor, and maybe the nicest guy we have ever met, Mick Fanning.

We had high expectations for this chat (we mean, it’s Mick Fanning), but he absolutely blew us out of the water with his humanity, compassion, empathy, and positivity in the face of incredible tragedy.

Mick, we’ll definitely take you up on that offer of a surf (and lifelong friendship).

To watch this full video on our YouTube, click here - https://bit.ly/3Er6W6g 

To subscribe to A Little More Imperfects on Patreon, follow this link: Patreon.com/imperfects

To subscribe to our newsletter, The Vulnerabilitea-Mail (which includes a reflective journalling question based on this episode), follow this link:  https://bit.ly/42bYguo

🎧 Things to listen to:

• Brooke Blurton - The Path of Most Resilience - https://apple.co/4e8XmkP
• Michael Klim - The Race of His Life - https://apple.co/40PZZ7s

📺 Things to watch

• Mick’s encounter with the shark - https://bit.ly/3CQa76V

⛳️Things to check out

• Mick’s Charity Golf Day (all proceeds are donated to communities impacted by the 2022 Northern Rivers Floods) - https://bit.ly/4eWUJnl

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Well, well, well. We’re (officially) back for 2025, baby!

On Hugh’s agenda for today’s episode: nugatory chat, ghosts, general excitement for the new season and we also reveal THE SECOND BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

That’s right, The Imperfects are bringing you a new show.

A Little More Imperfects, which can be found on Patreon, is bonus fortnightly episodes featuring everything that you know and love (Josh going deep, Ryan being hilarious and Hugh giving life changing advice / intense second hand embarrassment) PLUS early access to live show tickets and events and great discounts on our merch.

So enjoy this sneak preview, and we can’t wait for the season ahead.

If you would like to subscribe to our Patreon, follow this link - https://www.patreon.com/theimperfects

If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube (and catch a glimpse of organised Hugh for the only time this millennia), click here - https://bit.ly/4hC4XKI

🎧 Things to listen to:

• Maria Ruberto - Advancing Despite Adversity - https://apple.co/4e2Io05
• Janelle Booker - Living with ADHD - https://apple.co/41nL456

📖 Things to buy:

• Our new journal, My Imperfect Life - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP

📃Things to subscribe to:

• Our newsletter, The Vulnerabilitea-mail - https://bit.ly/42bYguo

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s our last episode of Summer School, and today we welcome back clinical psychologist (and “clinical cousin” of Hugh and Josh), James van Cuylenburg.

In this episode, James tells us EVERYTHING we need to know about our relationships… well almost everything…there’s a lot to cover.

From attachment styles, to breaking trust, to learning how to own your feelings and navigating coupledom through life’s changing seasons.

Getting into the nitty gritty, Hugh asks James about intimacy and what happens when you’re not…. having any. And how to start a conversation with your kids about pornography.

Relationships make life worth living and whether they’re with an intimate partner, a friend, or yourself, they should be cherished and treated with care.

James, we thank you for your guidance.

If you liked this episode, and wanted to do some further reflection on it, each week our Vulnerabilitea-mail newsletter shares a question to get you thinking deeper. We’d love to hear from you, so please send your reflections in to the link provided. Subscribe here!

If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, click here - https://bit.ly/3WwDguJ

🎧Things to listen to

• James’ new podcast (that he makes with ANOTHER van Cuylenburg) You’re a Good Kid - https://apple.co/3E54MZR
• James van Cuylenburg - Love Your Wonky Bricks - https://apple.co/3UYXmgt
• Esther Perel - Let’s Be Better Lovers - https://apple.co/3Af9OB6
• Chanel Contos - Consensual Healing - https://bit.ly/3RNKpEm

📖 Things to read

• Attached by Dr Amir Levine and Rachel S.F Heller M.A - https://amzn.to/3EeVDhe

💻Things to check out

• Teach Us Consent Website - https://bit.ly/3QVhlK0
• Three Sided Pillar (triangle of happiness) - https://bit.ly/42kntmc

🚨If you, or someone you know, has experienced or is at risk of domestic violence or coercive control, call the 24 hour national counselling service 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732). In an emergency, or if you’re feeling unsafe, call 000.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of our Summer School, we are joined by Sophie Walker, creator, and host of Australian Birth Stories.

With over 17 million downloads, and 500 episodes, Australian Birth Stories podcast has been accredited by the Australian College of Midwives and has been instrumental in educating and empowering both people who are giving birth, as well as birthing partners.

Hugh shares the incredible trauma and fear involved with his first experience of birth, and how tools of education and empowerment, such as Lael Stone’s excellent counselling, helped him prepared for birth a second time around.

The power of information is invaluable, and Josh opens up about how Hugh’s experience with birth shaped his own, and what the experience was like for him.

Sophie, it was such a pleasure.

To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/3sey26-L4Rw 

🎧 Things to listen to:

• Australian Birth Stories Podcast - https://apple.co/4f3PgKx
  • Lisa Wipfli’s episode - https://apple.co/3CZ34sx
  • Lael Stone’s episode - https://bit.ly/3ZhaZZD
• Lael Stone on The Imperfects:
  •  Creating Emotionally Intelligent Humans - https://apple.co/3V2vuIb
  • Take Care of Yourself - https://apple.co/4eAJNuw
  • Parent Yourself First - https://apple.co/3ZE28Tj
• Martin Heppell on The Imperfects:
  • The Vulnerabilitea House - Martin Heppell - https://bit.ly/3ZerqqN
  • Martin “Rac” Heppell - The other F word ….. FAILURE - https://bit.ly/4fUkDIk
• Jack Post - Natal Depression - https://apple.co/49AgxDb

💻 Things to check out:

• The danger of a single story TedTalk - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - https://bit.ly/4f16DM5
• Australian Birth Stories Birth Class Course - https://bit.ly/3BdMgxc

📖 Things to read: 

• The Complete Australian Guide to Pregnancy and Birth by Sophie Walker - https://amzn.to/3EscPQu 

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with post-natal depression or anxiety surrounding birth, these are a few great websites we’ve found

• cope.org.au
• panda.org.au

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

B b b bonus episode!

We proudly present to you My Imperfect Life: a novel journal written by you. That’s right, we’re releasing a book, but making you do all the work.

With 100 questions inspired by episodes from 2024 on The Imperfects, My Imperfect Life is an introduction to vulnerability, allowing you to unpack your own imperfect life and be more vulnerable with yourself (because we know vulnerability with others can be A LOT).

To celebrate the launch of My Imperfect Life, we are inviting you to a reverse book singing at Readings Emporium Melbourne on Friday January 31st at 5:30pm, where we want to meet you, the author (and perhaps get a photo with you too, and maybe an autograph if you’re not too busy).

🎟️ To buy a ticket to the Reverse Book Signing (which includes a copy of My Imperfect Life that you will pick up on the day), follow this link – https://bit.ly/4hh0tcl

📖 To just purchase My Imperfect Life, click here – https://www.theimperfects.com.au/shop/ 

📃 To become our penpal, join The VulnerabiliTea-mail, a weekly newsletter where we’ll send you one vulnerable question inspired by the current episode, to help you unpack your own imperfect life. Subscribe at theimperfects.com.au

🎧 Things to listen to

• Nathan Cavaleri – The Ups & The Blues - https://apple.co/42aTmh6
• Michael Klim – The Race of His Life - https://bit.ly/4aiMyQr
• Rana Hussain – Belonging For Connection - https://apple.co/3NwftWC

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There will come a time for all of us (unless we REALLY make some improvements with bio-hacking) where we are faced with our own mortality.

Who is at your hypothetical bedside? Are you happy with how you’ve lived? Do you have any regrets?

In this Summer School edition of the Academy of Imperfection, we are joined by Bronnie Ware.

Bronnie found herself in palliative care, caring for, and listening to, the dying. And boy, are we glad she did.

Bronnie collated, and published, the Top 5 Regrets of the Dying (listed below for your convenience), and this episode is devoted to talking through what each of these might mean for Hugh, Ryan and Josh.

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

Perfectly timed for the New Year, we hope you get as much out of this episode as we did.

Bronnie, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us.

To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://www.theimperfects.com.au/episode/bronnie-ware-wha…r-future-regrets/

📖 Things to read:

• The Top Five Regrets of the Dying - Bronnie Ware - https://bit.ly/4ghIKkf
• Bronnie’s original blog post - Regrets of the Dying - https://bit.ly/4f2nmPd
• From Strength to Strength - Arthur C. Brooks - https://bit.ly/3BlahT1
• Strong Female Character - Fern Brady - https://bit.ly/3Vl5Uya
• Laughing Heart - Charles Bukowski - https://bit.ly/4g2DbGL

🎧 Things to listen to:

• Paul Kelly - I Wasted Time - https://bit.ly/4eZeWbc
• Fern Brady - Autistic in a Non-Autistic World - https://bit.ly/48nT3Ax

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Quick heads up: Little Boy Christmas has a tenuous relationship with his parents, and therefore, this episode isn’t suited for kids.

Have you ever wondered about Little Boy Christmas, the forgotten son of Santa and Mrs Claus?

Nope, neither had we.

That’s probably why he’s forgotten.

Looking like an unbelievably shredded Dickensian orphan (you’re going to want to watch the YouTube for this one), Little Boy Christmas chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the physical and psychological pressures of being in the most famous family in the world. 

A BIG thank you to Guy Montgomery who introduced us to Little Boy Christmas.

All ad revenue from this episode will be donated to Guy Montgomery’s chosen charity of Auckland City Mission. Auckland City Mission responds to poverty, aiming to help people find permanent housing and food. If you’d like to donate, or check out what they’re about, follow this link - https://bit.ly/3VB0dfM

🎧Things to listen to:

• Mrs Claus - Santa’s Better Half - https://bit.ly/4gns2zX
• Santa Claus - A Special Vulnerabilitea House - https://apple.co/40Y7HNs
• Guy’s podcast - The Worst Idea of All Time - https://apple.co/3DkUYKI

📺 Things to watch:

• Guy Montgomery’s Guy Mont Spelling Bee - https://ab.co/4izbmay

🎟️ Things to buy tickets to:

• I’ve Noticed So Many Things, It’d Be Unfair To Keep Them To Myself tour
  • Australian Tickets - https://bit.ly/3DczzDx
  • NZ Tickets - https://bit.ly/49BCuC4

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.