The Imperfects

Trauma ran through Courtney Ugle’s family - until it ran into her.

CEO and founder of Waangkiny, as well as a football superstar, Courtney is on a mission to transform her adversity into resilience, power, and love.

In our Vulnerabilitea House, Courtney answers the question, “what childhood challenges best prepared you for adulthood?”, diving into how she copes with the loss of her greatest source of unconditional love and support, and how this drives the work that she does today.

In conversation with Hugh, Ryan and Josh, Courtney speaks to the raw intersection of grief and joy, and what it is like to realise that the only person coming to save you, is you.

Courtney, we can’t wait to have an oat magic with you soon.

If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/G_Rdt1EhA0U

If you would like to host your own Vulneratilitea House, you can purchase the cards here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP

💻 Things to checkout:

• Waangkiny - https://www.waangkiny.com

📺 Things to watch:

• Once Were Warriors - https://bit.ly/3XPMxyJ

🚨If you, or someone you know, has experienced or is at risk of domestic violence, call the 24 hour national counselling service 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732). In an emergency, or if you’re feeling unsafe, call 000. 

🩷If you want A Little More Imperfects, join our Patreon to get just that - www.patreon.com/theimperfects

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP

🩷To subscribe to the Vulnerabilitea-mail weekly newsletter, join through our website - www.theimperfects.com.au

This episode of The Imperfects discusses domestic and family violence. If these topics are too much for you right now, then we suggest you skip this one and come back when you're ready.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Chances are, you’ve supported someone going through a tough time. And while the meaning sustains the sacrifice, today we want to support you ….. supporting them. A bit of support inception, if you will.

To guide us through this incredibly complex and meaningful topic is our resident psychologist, Dr Emily Musgrove.

Navigating relationships requires awareness. Showing up as a partner, friend, parent, or sibling while holding space for pain – without being overwhelmed – is a skill that takes practice.

Reminding us that no one hates their struggle more than the person suffering, Dr Em delves into some practical strategies of support, such as walking the line between respect and care, as well as always understanding the difference between effort and capacity.

To all of the supporters and carers listening, we see you. We love you. And we hope you felt held, too.

To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://bit.ly/3XILzEe

To pre-order Dr. Em’s book Unstuck, click here - https://bit.ly/4bhmCp2

🎧 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

• Dr Emily - Resent Less, Live More - https://apple.co/4hZiVWx
• Esther Perel - Let’s Be Better Lovers - https://bit.ly/42phpsh

💻Things to check out:

• Carer Gateway - https://bit.ly/41UEJhA

🩷If you want A Little More Imperfects, join our Patreon to get just that - www.patreon.com/theimperfects

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - https://bit.ly/3Cx4tGP

🩷To subscribe to the Vulnerabilitea-mail weekly newsletter, join through our website - www.theimperfects.com.au

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is PART TWO of our chat with footballer, coach and uniter of people, Danielle Laidley. We HIGHLY recommend you go back and listen to part one if you haven’t heard it (linked below).

In this episode, Danielle recounts how it felt to be publicly outed, her own voice removed as the media crafted their own narrative about her identity.

A story of courage, resilience and love, Danielle vulnerably shares with Hugh, Ryan and Josh how she united her two worlds, and found the strength to live authentically for herself, and become a role model for others.

To watch the entire interview with Danielle on YouTube, click here - https://bit.ly/3FJ8Lw2 

📖 Things to read

• Don’t Look Away - Danielle Laidley - https://bit.ly/3XrTkyo

📺 Things to watch

• Revealed - Danielle Laidley: Two Tribes - https://bit.ly/3R8X6ct

☎ If you need support after listening to this episode, these are a few great places to start:

• QLife - 1800 184 527
• Rainbow Door - 1800 729 367

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Danielle May Laidley was known by a different name for the first 53 years of her life. We are so proud that this episode is a contributing factor to her reclaiming her narrative as a transgender woman.

An extremely talented AFL footballer, Danielle would go on to become a highly respected coach, always keeping within arm’s reach the version of herself which felt most authentic.

Danielle’s story, in its entirety, is so incredibly important that we had to split it over two big and special episodes.

In this first part, we are introduced to phase 1 of her life: the footballer, the husband and the coach and with an addictive personality that caused her to become tough, fierce and obsessed with footy.

Danielle discusses with Hugh, Ryan, and Josh the strict compartmentalisation of the different parts of her life during her AFL career, and the terrifying risks she took to satisfy the cravings to be her authentic self.

You can watch the entire interview (Part One and Part Two) on YouTube, here – https://bit.ly/3FJ8Lw2 

🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

• Mick Fanning - Riding The Waves of Loss - https://apple.co/4hNT0RN

📖 Things to read

• Don’t Look Away - Danielle Laidley - https://bit.ly/3XrTkyo

📺 Things to watch

• Revealed - Danielle Laidley: Two Tribes - https://bit.ly/3R8X6ct

🖼️ If you want to join out patreon A Little More Imperfects, go to www.patreon.com/theimperfects

☎ If you need support after listening to this episode, these are a few great places to start:

• QLife - 1800 184 527
• Rainbow Door - 1800 729 367

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s been a big few weeks since Hugh released his Open Letter to Parents of Neurodivergent People (episode linked below). If you haven't heard it, it’s best to listen to that before you listen to this episode.

Today we wanted to catch up and reflect on whats happened since.

Hugh shares some beautiful messages, and Josh asks, practically, how we can show less judgement and more empathy to neurodivergent people and the people who care for them. Then, Ryan does some quick maths to fact check Hugh’s claim to reply to every single message he’s received since the Open Letter went live.

We are so profoundly grateful for every message of love and support.

Love,

The Imperfects xxx

🎧 If you want to listen to Hugh’s Open Letter to Parents of Neurodivergent People, click here - https://apple.co/4l4kw0m

💻 If you want to watch this full chat on YouTube, click here - https://youtu.be/wFrlUkqR8y4 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get excited, it’s finally Steve Curry* day.

Actor, comedian, and expert hole digger (you bet we snuck this in here), Steve joins us to share his personal and professional epiphany: a ‘collaboration realisation’ his lightbulb moment about teamwork, success, and the power of vulnerability.

In our Vulnerabilitea House, Steve answers the questions ‘When was a time you genuinely needed help? Were you able to ask for it?’, and discusses the joy of working in a team where success is a joint effort.

This is such a joyful episode, Steve, we are definitely friends for life (can you hook us up with Helen too?)

*not the basket baller

If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4iv72IO

🦁 Things to check out

• Helen Carmichael - https://bit.ly/4hv90YU

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Clinical psychologist Dr Julie Smith has a gift for explaining complex ideas in under a minute (which is GREAT for new-age attention spans).

With over 4.8 million TikTok followers, two best-selling books and a glowing endorsement from our own Dr Em, having Dr Julie join our Academy of Imperfection is nothing short of a dream.

In this episode, Dr Julie reframes the feeling of overwhelm, helping us to see it as valuable information about how we might not be meeting our needs, rather than something to fear.

Then, it’s all about confidence, baby. Getting into the nitty-gritty, Ryan and Dr Julie redefine failure, showing how confidence isn’t just built from successes, but from every experience – good, bad and (luckily for Hugh) the awkward.

Oh, and did we mention she’s Dr Em approved?

Smithy, we’d gladly talk to you forever.

If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4iwtFwz 

🫖  Imperfects episode mentioned in this episode

• Missy Higgins - Quitting Music, Depression & Connection - https://bit.ly/4fVM8Bo

📖 Things to read:

• Open When by Dr Julie Smith - https://bit.ly/4hq7y9T
• Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before by Dr Julie Smith https://bit.ly/3FkC2wH

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an open letter to parents of autistic and neurodivergent people.

It may be confronting.

Please take care when listening.

Love,

Hugh

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hannah Diviney is one of the most powerful people in pop culture.

At just 25 years old, the author, advocate, and actor hasn’t just called out Lizzo for using an ableist slur—she also took on Queen B herself. And she succeeded on both fronts.

Which, once you get to know her, isn’t surprising at all.

In our Vulnerabilitea House, Hannah reflects on the questions: “How do you see yourself? Is it the same way your loved ones see you?”

Answering with incredible vulnerability, Hannah shares how her relationship with her disability has evolved over time and what it was like growing up in a world where the Paralympics seemed like the only visible marker of success.

We talk to Hannah about being a part of intimate television history, and Ryan, the love doctor, Shelton manifests a Brad (or Stewie, or Chris, or Michael-Angelo) in her future.

Hannah, we are so desperate to be your friend.

To watch this full episode on YouTube, click here: https://bit.ly/41vzALg

🫖 Imperfects episode’s mentioned in this episode

• Grant Denyer - Self Worth Was Worth Fighting For - https://apple.co/4fyvmsj

🎟️ Things to go see

• Audrey at the Melbourne Women in Film Festival - https://bit.ly/4bvMHkq

📺 Things to watch

• Latecomers - https://bit.ly/4kBLFaG
• Hannah’s speech at the National Press Club - https://bit.ly/3QJPzQZ

📖 Things to read

• I’ll Let Myself In by Hannah Diviney - https://bit.ly/3DjeffZ

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, Dr Emily talks about hope.

And in a world where things can feel a little bit hopeless, this really couldn’t have come at a better time.

In contrast to all of our understanding up until this point, hope is not an emotion.

Expertly defined by Dr Emily, hope is a belief. And most significantly, it can be learned, and it can be cultivated.

Psychological mic-drop.

This episode delves into strategies for creating both a sense of collective and individual hope, and in a discovery which happens to be VERY on-brand for this podcast, Dr Emily talks to the significance of vulnerability and connection in living a hopeful life.

We hope you enjoy this one as much as we did.

If you would like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://bit.ly/41j0pT1

📚To pre-order Dr Emily’s book Unstuck, click here - https://bit.ly/4bhmCp2

🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

• Dr Julia Baird - An Awe-full Conversation - https://www.theimperfects.com.au/episode/dr-julia-baird-an-awe-full-conversation/ 

📖 Things to read

• Martin Seligman - Theory of Learned Hopelessness - https://bit.ly/3EY1oR2
• Rick Snyder - Hope Theory: Rainbows in the Mind - https://bit.ly/4bAbu6Z
• Jamil Zacki - Hope for Cynics - https://www.jamil-zaki.com
• Robyn Walser - Heart of ACT - https://amzn.to/4izIv5x
• Barbara Frederikson - Reflections on Positive Emotions and Upward Spirals - https://bit.ly/3EY2yfl
• Nick Cave’s letter - https://bit.ly/3ETlr2O
• Victor Frankl - Man’s Search For Meaning - https://bit.ly/4iizuNM

💻Things to check out

• Dacher Keltner’s work - https://bit.ly/3XfJpfe
• Obama’s ‘Hope’ poster - https://bit.ly/4kgkvG4

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.