Summary: https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2025/02/27/darkmoods/

This episode stands out as one of my most special conversations! In this thought-provoking episode, I sat down with Dr. Mariana Alessandri, a modern philosophy professor whose work inspired me. We specifically explored the often misunderstood and undervalued role of "dark moods"—emotions like sadness, anger, anxiety, grief, and depression. In our conversation, we challenged the cultural obsession with happiness and optimism, critiquing "toxic positivity" and the societal tendency to label these emotions as problems to be fixed. Drawing on insights from her book, The Defender of Dark Moods, Dr. Alessandri reframed, rigorously and passionately, that dark moods as meaningful, natural, and even valuable aspects of the human experience. 

Our conversation also examined the harm caused by suppressing emotions, the limitations of modern self-help, Stoicism, and the liberating potential of existential philosophy. By reclaiming space for authentic emotional expression—without judgment or shame—we can move toward a richer, more authentic life. 

What we discussed: 

How society undervalues dark moods like sadness, anger, and anxiety
Why toxic positivity is harmful
Why the binary view of emotions as “positive” or “negative” is limiting
Why modern self-help version of Stoicism can be problematic
Why we need more nuanced language for emotions
Why dark moods are essential to a meaningful life


About Dr. Alessandri:

Website: https://www.marianaalessandri.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/mariana.alessandri/

The book: https://press.princeton.edu/books/hardcover/9780691215457/night-vision



** 
 

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Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Full text: https://eggshelltherapy.com/emotional-blackmail/

Emotional blackmail takes on a complex dimension when it comes from parents who may not be intentionally malicious but are limited by their trauma, neurodivergence, or psychological limitations. Some manipulative parents may genuinely love their children and try their best, yet still emotionally blackmail their children through guilt, obligation, and fear. Their emotional blackmail often manifests through seemingly innocent phrases that exploit their children's empathy and sense of duty. This creates a confusing dynamic where children must reconcile their parent's genuine love and good intentions with harmful, manipulative behaviors, often leading to complex trauma and self-doubt.

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Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

FULL SUMMARY AND LINKS:
https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2025/01/16/ai-therapist/

I have recently released a new podcast episode, where I interviewed Dr. David Burns, the author of 'Feeling Good' and CBT pioneer! 

In his latest research, he showed that AI therapist platforms can sometimes outperform human practitioners in providing consistent, empathetic responses to patients.

Here are some quotes from the interview that may surprise you: 

"We more or less proved that this idea that depression is due to a deficiency of this neurotransmitter, serotonin, can't possibly be a valid theory."

"Empathy from a computer outperforms by a big margin human empathy."

"Empathy, whoever gives it, sucks in terms of healing power. It's not enough to cure depression or panic attacks or anything else."

"The app, if anything, is just as effective or slightly more effective, the more severe the patient's problems are."

https://youtu.be/QF8GYvlTmfU?si=L_LA0QJItKpjCmii

About Our Guest 

Stanford psychiatrist Dr. David Burns, renowned for developing high-speed, effective approaches to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), joins us today. His 1980 book "Feeling Good" is probably the most recommended self-help book by mental health professionals in the United States. His follow-up work "Feeling Great" builds on decades of clinical innovation, introducing his TEAM-CBT methodology that has revolutionized how we approach rapid recovery from depression and anxiety.

In his latest research, Dr. Burns has explored the intersection of AI and psychotherapy, examining how machine learning could transform our understanding of cognitive distortions and therapeutic interventions. His findings suggest that AI therapist platforms can sometimes outperform human practitioners in providing consistent, empathetic responses to patients.

 

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
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Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Today we're joined by Nicole Matusow, a psychoanalyst who's going to take us on a deep dive into the fascinating world of limerence - that overwhelming, obsessive state of romantic infatuation that can completely take over our lives. With her extensive background in psychoanalysis, Nicole will help us understand the unconscious mechanisms driving this intense experience, from the early attachment patterns that set the stage to the role of fantasy and emotional regulation. 

We'll explore why some of us are more prone to limerence than others, how early experiences shape our romantic patterns, and most importantly - what we can actually do about it. Whether you're currently experiencing limerence or supporting someone who is, I hope this conversation will be useful to you. Imi

About Nicole: 

Nicole Matusow is a New York City psychotherapist practicing in the Flatiron area. She sees both individuals and couples/family members, taking a contemporary psychoanalytic and feelings-based approach. Her practice addresses limerence, judgmental self-talk, people-pleasing, difficulties in conveying thoughts and feelings, and familial ruptures.

She offers both in-person and teletherapy services.

https://www.nicolematusow.com

 

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
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Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

FULL TEXT: https://eggshelltherapy.com/bpd_limerence/

Limerence is an experience unlike any other. It is beyond pure infatuation, but an all-consuming experience that can bring us to the highest ecstasy and the lowest depths of despair. It floods our brains with neurons and turns everything into a breathless roller coaster ride. However much we 'know' it is irrational, and try to shake it off, we cannot seem to escape the constant loop of hope and disappointment, longing and devastation.  This state of all-consuming romantic obsession is what Dorothy Tennov termed as limerence in her groundbreaking 1979 work.

Limerence is a complex and often painful experience for most people, as few of us would choose to have our whole sense of being taken over by intrusive thoughts and fantasies. But it is never as simple as a conscious choice. Behind these overwhelming feelings lies a deeper story—one that begins in our earliest experiences of love and loss and speaks to the very heart of how we learn to attach and bond with others.

The picture gets even more complex for those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in limerence. When you have BPD, your emotional thermostat is already set at a different level, and with limerence in the mix, it can become truly unbearable chaos.

In this piece, we shall explore the underlying psychological mechanisms of limerence and how these dynamics take on unique dimensions for those with BPD. By understanding these patterns more deeply—from both psychoanalytic and neurobiological perspectives—we can hopefully help you chart a path forward that honors the intensity of your experience and your capacity for healing.

 

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

 

Even when no one sees it at all.

Keep going. 

The world needs those who dare to work differently.

The ones who create their own definitions of meaning.

The ones who choose authenticity over appearance.

You’re not alone in this journey

We’re here too, working in our own invisible ways.



Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Full text: https://eggshelltherapy.com/freearticles/2024/10/28/defensive-parent/

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Text: https://www.imiloimilo.com/writing/invisible-loss

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Original Text/ Transcript: https://www.pecanphilosophy.com/writing/existential-dread

I didn't set out to write an essay about existential dread and freedom. But after a recent post on social media sparked a wave of unexpected discussion, I realized this was a conversation worth having. It quickly became clear that I wasn't alone in wrestling with the complexities of free will—with the way the very thing we crave, the power to choose our path can sometimes feel like the heaviest burden to bear.  

 

Existential Dread.

This today. Life is pushing me towards a change… something I might have asked for but also maybe only half-consciously.

Or I want it to be exactly the way I want it. I wanted EVERYTHING. To give up nothing but to have everything I wanted.

How can I be so enraptured, so intoxicatingly optimistic about the unknown that stretches before me, yet feel this crippling fear, this suffocating grip, this utter inability to let go of the familiar?

I am captivated by the promise of a future I had hoped for. Yet now that the doors have been thrown open, I am so grief-stricken at the thought of losing the life I built, the ground that once felt solid beneath my feet.

I am so grateful to the universe for the necessary violent push, for the chance to begin again, yet I feel powerless in the face of not knowing HOW it’s going to happen.

I crumble, clinging to the wreckage before surrendering to the flow.

This is the existential dread, the dreadful paradox, isn’t it?

To be both terrified and thrilled by the very same force, to mourn what's left behind while dancing on the precipice of something new.

Change-seeking, growth-loving animals like us are perhaps, all on this tightrope, balancing the comfort of the known with the dizzying allure of the unknown.  

  X

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Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

 

Why we ask why

We hurl the question "why" when we do not like what is happening.
When we don’t want to feel what we have to feel.

Why this injustice? Why this pain?
We plead with anguish.
Why did my mother abuse me?
Why did my father disappear?
Why did my loved one betray me?
Why was I gaslit by my family?
Why is my life a barren wasteland?
Why was my love never reciprocated, by anyone?
But would knowing "why" suture the holes in our souls? Would the answer offer the solace we need....

?

Full text: https://www.imiloimilo.com/writing/why

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
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Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.