Full Text: https://eggshelltherapy.com/existential-depression/

Sometimes, you have a lingering, niggling sense that says you are capable of more than your life currently reflects.

Perhaps you wake up with a quiet, persistent hum that whispers you are in the wrong city, the wrong company, the wrong room. You function well on the surface, meeting obligations and appearing competent, but underneath there is a constant awareness that you are hemorrhaging meaning, that something essential remains unlived and unexpressed. You watch peers announce promotions, publications, and prestigious positions, and feel a burning mixture of longing and shame at your own reaction. Does that mean you are somehow a horrible person to be feeling a bit envious?

Existential depression in gifted adults can come from sensing the gap between your capacities and what your circumstances allow. It is the warfare between the part of you that wants to unfurl toward something larger and the part that has learned, through years of correction and dismissal, that your brightness is dangerous.

We shame ourselves for wanting recognition, for caring about prestige, for imagining ourselves in contexts that finally match our internal magnitude. But what if the pain is not pathological? What if it is developmental, a sign of growth, and the seed of your next breakthrough? 

Psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut wrote about our human need for mirroring, for having our inner reality reflected back accurately by our environment. For those whose complexity, intensity, and particular cognitive capacities were rarely recognized or understood, the longing for congruence between internal and external reality is not shallow vanity. 

Continue reading to understand why your envy is a messenger, how the lack of mirroring created your current distress, and what it means to hold the tension between who you are and who you might become without collapsing into either denial or self-destruction. 

Note: Existential depression as discussed here is not a clinical diagnosis in the DSM and can coexist with clinical depression. Please do not hesitate to seek psychiatric input if clinical depression is part of your experience.

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
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Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Full text: https://eggshelltherapy.com/toxic-relationship/

If you have been in a toxic relationship—whether with a partner, a friend, or a parent—with someone who repeatedly hurts you, gaslights you, or manipulates you, you may be familiar with the feeling of being stuck in a loop: betrayal, apology, forgiveness, then betrayal again. They repeatedly violate your trust in ways that leave you questioning reality itself, but then soon beg for your forgiveness with such raw vulnerability that your heart cracks open and guilt floods in. You stay because you think about your shared history, all that you are truly grateful for, and how good it would be if they could change. Then, within days or weeks, they betray your trust again. The shock hits deeper each time because the apology felt so real. The loop just repeats, leaving you increasingly confused, depleted, and emptied from your core.

Most of us are so trapped in cultural stories of unconditional loyalty and forgiveness that we fail to see what truly lies within a toxic relationship loop. Even when you intellectually know that walking away is the right answer, that rightfully protecting yourself is not selfish, every time you try to walk away, you may feel haunted by guilt. We have all been shaped by years of cultural programming that tells us we are abandoning someone if they say they need us and we walk away. We are told that someone who tries their best should be free from blame. We are taught that love means endless second chances, that loyalty requires enduring pain, and that good people never give up on others. But ultimately, relationships without boundaries cannot nourish either side, and love without limits may simply be detrimental to both.

If you have ever felt trapped or is contemplating walking away from something that is not working anymore, I hope this piece can help shift something.

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Full text:  https://eggshelltherapy.com/gifted-trauma/

On the Gifted Trauma of Feeling Humiliated

Today's article is on the gifted trauma of feeling chronically humiliated, even when no one is trying to humiliate you.

You know the feeling in your body before your mind can name it. The heat rising when someone begins explaining something you already know. The sickening sensation in your stomach when an authority figure talks down to you, even when they are someone you perceive to have no real authority at all. The strange shame of watching someone else present your insight as their own. The way your body contracts to brace itself.

You may find yourself re-experiencing this sense of humiliation constantly, triggered by what seem like the smallest slights.

And there is almost no socially acceptable way to talk about it. It feels like a taboo to say you feel humiliated when no one intended to offend. You can hardly be honest about the daily abrasion of being too bright and fast for your environment.

But the feeling is real. And it did not come from nowhere.
It was planted when you were trapped in a body too small for your mind, in a world that moved too slowly, explained too much, and understood too little.

You were told in all sorts of obvious and not so obvious ways that your penetrative insights were dangerous, your directness was hurtful, and when you excitedly shared what you passionately knew, you made others feel small.

The first wound was the humiliation itself.
The second wound, perhaps the deeper one, was learning to participate in your own shrinking.

You learned to start sentences with "I might be wrong, but..." and "It is probably nothing..." You shave off the sharp edges from your speech, just in case they hurt anyone.

You have become so skilled at reading micro-expressions, at catching that flash of discomfort across someone's face, that you retreat before you have even fully arrived. What started as survival became something else entirely: a muscular apology you carry in your body, a chronic self-betrayal you barely notice anymore.

But... maybe the second half of your life is asking something different of you. It is asking whether you are willing to finally inhabit your brightness without apology, to stop protecting people from your full self, to risk the possibility that some will turn away when they see yo

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
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Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

SHOW NOTES:

https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2025/12/05/why-we-still-feel-lonely-with-philosopher-lars-svendsen/

We can be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone. We can have friends, a partner, a full social calendar, and still feel like something is missing.

I spoke with philosopher Dr. Lars Svendsen about loneliness. His work so brilliantly weaves together philosophy, psychology, and decades of cross-cultural research.

Prior to this conversation, I did not know that...

Norway is one of the most individualistic countries on earth. It also has some of the lowest loneliness rates in the world.

People who see their friends every day report more loneliness than those who do not.

Creating new social spaces and community events does almost nothing to cure loneliness.

In one study, people preferred giving themselves electric shocks over sitting alone with their thoughts for 15 minutes.

Loneliness, it seems, is less about what is missing out there and more about what we are looking for.

I hope you come away from this conversation feeling a little less lonely. Or at least, in my own case, a bit more hopeful.

Dr. Svendsen is a Norwegian philosopher.  He is a professor in the Department of Philosophy at the University of Bergen, Norway. He is the author of several books, including A Philosophy of Boredom (2005), Fashion: a Philosophy (2006), A Philosophy of Fear (2008), Work (2008), and A Philosophy of Freedom (2014). He has a unique ability to communicate difficult contemporary and international topics straightforwardly. Dr. Svendsen has received several prizes for his work, and his books have been translated into more than 35 languages.

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

SHOW NOTES: https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2025/10/27/deathanxiety/

I sat down with philosopher Tom Cochrane to explore death anxiety, happiness, and how we cope when existential dread surfaces. 

We began with the classic philosophical arguments against fearing death. 

For Tom, ultimate comfort does not require a cosmic designer. It comes from recognizing the world's intrinsic value. He advocates for what he calls "aestheticism," seeing the universe as beautiful, sublime, dramatic, and worthwhile on its own terms. This perspective is available to both atheists and theists. 

On self-sufficiency, Tom's critique is pointed and unique. A fully self-contained life becomes emotionally flat, he likened it to being like a ‘stale lemonade’. Humans are "contingent to the bone" and flourish through embraced interdependence and risk, not through isolation.

The key insight: we have control over our imagination. Even when it runs away from us, we can redirect it and build better habits of attention. 

About Tom Cochrane: 

Born in the UK, Tom completed his BA (hons) in philosophy at University College London, followed by a MA in music composition at Birmingham Conservatoire, and then a PhD in philosophy at the University of Nottingham. His PhD supervisor was Gregory Currie.
 
 Following his PhD, Tom was a postdoctoral fellow at the Swiss Center for Affective Sciences, University of Geneva (2007-2010). He was then an international visiting fellow at the Sonic Arts Research Center, Queen's University Belfast (2010-2012), before moving to the University of Sheffield as a lecturer (2012-2017). After a brief stint at the University of York in 2017, he joined Flinders in February 2018.
 
 Tom's main areas of expertise are the philosophy of mind (particularly emotions) and philosophy of art/aesthetics (particularly music). He also has interests in metaphysics and ethics.
 
 He is the editor of The Emotional Power of Music (Oxford University Press, 2013) He is also the author of The Emotional Mind: A control theory of affective states (Cambridge University Press, 2018) and The Aesthetic Value of the World (Oxford University Press, 2021).

Tom's latest book, The Aesthetic Value of the World: https://academic.oup.com/book/39016

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Full text: https://eggshelltherapy.com/ai-therapist/

Today’s letter is about the elephant in the room for all of us these past few years: the use of the AI therapist, coach, mentor, partner, friend, confidant, and sounding board. You may be someone who has resisted it with full strength, or embraced it with excitement, or maybe both. Whatever your stance, maybe it is time we talk about what happens when we turn to machines for the kind of relational healing or coaching that has always happened between humans.

All in all, I believe there remain irreplaceable aspects of human connection in healing work that have nothing to do with technological limitations and everything to do with what it means to be human, to suffer, and to heal in the presence of another person who has also suffered and healed. Whether we are talking about therapy, coaching, mentoring, or any form of deep relational work, certain elements can only happen between two human beings.

In this piece, we will focus on those irreplaceable human elements. Just because I do not discuss the potential benefits or value of having an AI therapist does not mean they are not there; they are simply not the focus of this discussion.

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Show Notes: https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2025/10/18/jessica-baum/

Jessica, author of Anxiously Attached, returns to discuss her new book, Safe, which expands beyond her first work to cover all four attachment patterns: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. Drawing on interpersonal neurobiology, she explores how early attachment wounds live in the body as implicit memory and cannot be healed alone. They require safe, anchoring relationships where nervous systems can co-regulate, whether with therapists, coaches, or trusted others. 

She reframes triggers as awakenings, inviting curiosity about what earlier wounds are being touched, and contextualizes people-pleasing as an intelligent adaptation rather than a flaw.

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Link to the full text: https://www.pecanphilosophy.com/writing/fear-of-being-unproductive

Read with a human voice! 

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2025/09/24/drlilie/

Today, we are fortunate to have Dr. Lilie Chouliaraki with us. She is a Professor in Media and Communications at the London School of Economics and has spent her career examining how the media discusses human suffering and our own vulnerability.

We are going to explore her work on how approaches to helping people have evolved over time. She walks us through the concept of "post-humanitarianism," which examines how our sense of solidarity has shifted. It is less about a shared sense of humanity and more about personal benefit, a kind of self-focused, consumer-style activism.

We also explore the highly complex but timely topic of victimhood identity. Dr. Chouliaraki discusses how the language of being a victim has become a powerful political tool. She has examined how this concept of victimhood is sometimes used, or even manipulated, by those who are already privileged to gain more power, a concept she calls the "weaponization of victimhood." This can happen in ways that actually reinforce inequalities rather than challenge them.

About  Dr. Lilie Chouliaraki 

Professor Lilie Chouliaraki is Chair in Media and Communications at LSE. She holds an MA and PhD from Lancaster University Department of Linguistics and a bachelor's degree from the School of Philosophy, University of Athens. 

In the past twenty-five years, her research has been examining how media shape our ethical and political relationships with vulnerable populations globally and how pain intersects with power relations in disaster news, humanitarian communication, migration, and conflict journalism across historical and digital contexts.

Recently, Chouliaraki has focused on histories of victimhood within emotional capitalism, social media, and far-right populism. Her award-winning book "Wronged: The Weaponization of Victimhood" was published by Columbia University Press in 2024.

She has received numerous international distinctions, including the Outstanding Article Award (ICA, 2014), Outstanding Book of the Year award (ICA, 2015), and Best Book Award (ICA, 2025). She is the only two-time recipient of the Outstanding Book of the Year Award and was named an ICA Fellow in 2020 for her distinguished scholarly contributions.

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Show notes: https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2025/09/17/sarabeth-2/

In this episode, we explore the shift from simply "fitting in" at work to cultivating true belonging. Dr. Sarabeth Berk Bickerton, author of Seen, Known, Valued, shares insights on redefining career success—from external markers like titles and pay to a more personal journey of meaning, values, and impact. We discuss her Career Belonging Matrix, the challenges faced by hybrid professionals, and practical strategies for communicating your unique value in a world that often prefers tidy labels.  
 

(Seen, Known, Valued will be coming in 2026 due to a publishing delay)
Find Dr. Sarabeth and her work: https://www.morethanmytitle.com/books
 

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.