Today we're joined by Nicole Matusow, a psychoanalyst who's going to take us on a deep dive into the fascinating world of limerence - that overwhelming, obsessive state of romantic infatuation that can completely take over our lives. With her extensive background in psychoanalysis, Nicole will help us understand the unconscious mechanisms driving this intense experience, from the early attachment patterns that set the stage to the role of fantasy and emotional regulation. 

We'll explore why some of us are more prone to limerence than others, how early experiences shape our romantic patterns, and most importantly - what we can actually do about it. Whether you're currently experiencing limerence or supporting someone who is, I hope this conversation will be useful to you. Imi

About Nicole: 

Nicole Matusow is a New York City psychotherapist practicing in the Flatiron area. She sees both individuals and couples/family members, taking a contemporary psychoanalytic and feelings-based approach. Her practice addresses limerence, judgmental self-talk, people-pleasing, difficulties in conveying thoughts and feelings, and familial ruptures.

She offers both in-person and teletherapy services.

https://www.nicolematusow.com

 

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Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

FULL TEXT: https://eggshelltherapy.com/bpd_limerence/

Limerence is an experience unlike any other. It is beyond pure infatuation, but an all-consuming experience that can bring us to the highest ecstasy and the lowest depths of despair. It floods our brains with neurons and turns everything into a breathless roller coaster ride. However much we 'know' it is irrational, and try to shake it off, we cannot seem to escape the constant loop of hope and disappointment, longing and devastation.  This state of all-consuming romantic obsession is what Dorothy Tennov termed as limerence in her groundbreaking 1979 work.

Limerence is a complex and often painful experience for most people, as few of us would choose to have our whole sense of being taken over by intrusive thoughts and fantasies. But it is never as simple as a conscious choice. Behind these overwhelming feelings lies a deeper story—one that begins in our earliest experiences of love and loss and speaks to the very heart of how we learn to attach and bond with others.

The picture gets even more complex for those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in limerence. When you have BPD, your emotional thermostat is already set at a different level, and with limerence in the mix, it can become truly unbearable chaos.

In this piece, we shall explore the underlying psychological mechanisms of limerence and how these dynamics take on unique dimensions for those with BPD. By understanding these patterns more deeply—from both psychoanalytic and neurobiological perspectives—we can hopefully help you chart a path forward that honors the intensity of your experience and your capacity for healing.

 

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

 

Even when no one sees it at all.

Keep going. 

The world needs those who dare to work differently.

The ones who create their own definitions of meaning.

The ones who choose authenticity over appearance.

You’re not alone in this journey

We’re here too, working in our own invisible ways.



Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Full text: https://eggshelltherapy.com/freearticles/2024/10/28/defensive-parent/

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Text: https://www.imiloimilo.com/writing/invisible-loss

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Original Text/ Transcript: https://www.pecanphilosophy.com/writing/existential-dread

I didn't set out to write an essay about existential dread and freedom. But after a recent post on social media sparked a wave of unexpected discussion, I realized this was a conversation worth having. It quickly became clear that I wasn't alone in wrestling with the complexities of free will—with the way the very thing we crave, the power to choose our path can sometimes feel like the heaviest burden to bear.  

 

Existential Dread.

This today. Life is pushing me towards a change… something I might have asked for but also maybe only half-consciously.

Or I want it to be exactly the way I want it. I wanted EVERYTHING. To give up nothing but to have everything I wanted.

How can I be so enraptured, so intoxicatingly optimistic about the unknown that stretches before me, yet feel this crippling fear, this suffocating grip, this utter inability to let go of the familiar?

I am captivated by the promise of a future I had hoped for. Yet now that the doors have been thrown open, I am so grief-stricken at the thought of losing the life I built, the ground that once felt solid beneath my feet.

I am so grateful to the universe for the necessary violent push, for the chance to begin again, yet I feel powerless in the face of not knowing HOW it’s going to happen.

I crumble, clinging to the wreckage before surrendering to the flow.

This is the existential dread, the dreadful paradox, isn’t it?

To be both terrified and thrilled by the very same force, to mourn what's left behind while dancing on the precipice of something new.

Change-seeking, growth-loving animals like us are perhaps, all on this tightrope, balancing the comfort of the known with the dizzying allure of the unknown.  

  X

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Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

 

Why we ask why

We hurl the question "why" when we do not like what is happening.
When we don’t want to feel what we have to feel.

Why this injustice? Why this pain?
We plead with anguish.
Why did my mother abuse me?
Why did my father disappear?
Why did my loved one betray me?
Why was I gaslit by my family?
Why is my life a barren wasteland?
Why was my love never reciprocated, by anyone?
But would knowing "why" suture the holes in our souls? Would the answer offer the solace we need....

?

Full text: https://www.imiloimilo.com/writing/why

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Summary and transcript: https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2024/09/19/patty/

This episode features Patricia "Patty" Gently, an expert on giftedness and trauma, who shares her personal and professional journey. As a twice-exceptional individual herself, Patty discusses her experiences with dyslexia, ADHD, and auditory processing struggles, and how they shaped her path.

Patty’s new book: https://www.amazon.com/Intersection-Intensity-Exploring-Giftedness-Trauma/dp/1953360378

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Episode Summary and Transcript: https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2024/09/19/elliotcohen/

In today’s conversation, we welcome Dr. Elliot Cohen, an expert in both academic philosophy and clinical work, to discuss his unique approach to integrating philosophy and psychology. We begin by exploring Dr. Cohen's journey, which started with his observation of widespread conflicts and irrational thinking. 

   

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Full text: https://www.pecanphilosophy.com/writing/the-soulmate-yearning

Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com
About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.com
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/
Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRz
Disclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers

Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.