Ep 29 - How to Talk Dirty with Confidence: Expert Tips from Luna Matas

What really holds people back from talking dirty in bed? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Luna Matas who is a Sex and Pleasure Educator, to break down why dirty talk is so hard for so many of us, and how to stop overthinking and start connecting.

We explore Luna’s unique approach to helping people get out of their heads and into their bodies using fantasy, narration, and even some kink-inspired techniques. Luna also shares her favorite tools for unlocking sexy communication, some tips on how to create emotional safety for expression, and why “awkward” isn’t a reason to give up. 

Whether you’re a total newbie or just looking to sharpen your dirty talk game, this episode will give you a new perspective on sexual confidence, intimacy, and how we can all learn to use our words for connection and play. Tune in for some fun and a whole lot of truth you’ll want to bring into your next bedroom adventure.

Episode Highlights: 

05:09 Techniques for Effective Dirty Talk

08:57 Building Sexual Confidence

09:46 Practical Tips for Dirty Talk

15:16 Mixing Sultry and Silly in Dirty Talk

19:54 Balancing Kinky and Vanilla Needs

23:40 Learning to Receive and Set Boundaries

28:43 Body Positivity and Erotic Creativity

29:56 Continuous Learning in Kink and Sex

Connect with Luna Matatas

• https://lunamatatas.com/

• https://www.instagram.com/lunamatatas

• https://twitter.com/lunamatatas

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What happens when a couple decides to put the real parts of their relationship online—the good, the bad, and the brutally honest? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Ben and Jas, the wildly relatable couple behind one of Instagram’s most candid and inspiring sex-positive platforms. From viral videos to deep conversations about intimacy, communication, and kink exploration, Ben and Jas are showing the world what real connection actually looks like.

We dive into how their journey from OnlyFans content to relationship coaching started, the challenges of navigating intimacy both on and off camera, and why emotional safety and trust are the real keys to better sex. Ben and Jas open up about their 30 Days of Sex challenge, lessons learned from experimenting with CNC, balancing business and pleasure, and how open communication (even about rejection) keeps their bond strong. Plus, we get into their future plans, including long-form content and empowering more couples to have the conversations that matter.

If you’re craving a refreshingly real take on modern relationships, communication, sex, and building intimacy without the bullshit, this episode is for you. Tune in for laughs, vulnerable moments, and actionable insights you’ll want to bring straight into your own bedroom.

Episode Highlights: 

02:15 The Importance of Open Communication

03:30 Balancing Personal and Professional Lives

06:55 Navigating Feedback in Relationships

15:56 The 30 Days of Sex Challenge

21:11 Exploring Kinks and Boundaries

32:07 Family Reactions to OnlyFans

38:50 Advice for Aspiring Content Creators

Connect with Ben and Jas: 

• https://www.instagram.com/ben_and_jas/

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What if erotic storytelling could teach you more about intimacy than a sex-ed class ever did? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by one of my favorite creators, Nik—also known as The Forge Bear—whose voice is as powerful as his presence. Nik takes us behind the scenes of his work as an audio erotica creator on Quinn and shares how he uses storytelling to explore sexual self-discovery, kink dynamics, and authentic connection.

We dive deep into kink education, consent, communication, and the battle against performative sexuality online. Nik opens up about his journey from psychology student to audio dom, how he vets play partners, and why building trust is the foundation of any great scene. From safe words to CNC to emotional aftercare, this conversation is full of wisdom, warmth, and way more depth than you’ll find in your average “Dom voice” TikTok.

If you’re curious about kink but don’t know where to start, or you’re craving deeper conversations about power, pleasure, and presence, this episode is for you. Tune in for an intimate, unfiltered, and wildly informative conversation that’s as hot as it is healing.

Episode Highlights: 

01:06 The Power of Audio Erotica

04:45 The Role of a Sex Educator

05:54 Challenges of Digital Education

08:28 Social Media and Misinformation

10:04 Understanding Dom-Sub Dynamics

16:04 Building Trust and Communication with Play Partners

28:37 Advice for Kinky Beginners

Connect with Nik: 

• https://www.instagram.com/nik_the_forge_bear_creations

• https://tiktok.com/@nikgrizz,@niktheforgebear

• https://www.tryquinn.com/creators/nikgrizz

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

What if the parts of you you’ve been told to suppress are actually your most authentic self? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Dove from @littlespaces.co to explore what it really means to be a little—from discovering the dynamic through romance novels to navigating shame, connection, and kink identity. Whether you’re new to the world of caregiver/little dynamics or curious about exploring it on your own, Dove’s story offers a rare blend of vulnerability and wisdom.

We get into the difference between little space and age play, what it’s like to access little space solo, and how emotional safety, consent, and presence play a huge role in kink-informed relationships. Dove shares the beauty of the caregiver/little dynamic, how she reconnected with her now-daddy dom partner, and what it means to explore vulnerability as a source of joy, not shame. We also talk about representation, personal growth, and how labels like “little” and “middle” are just tools—not boxes—to help us connect more deeply with ourselves and others.

If you’ve ever felt the pull to explore this part of yourself, or you’re just curious about the emotional side of kink, this episode is your permission slip to lean in. Tune in for a powerful, tender, and deeply validating conversation about kink, identity, and reclaiming your inner softness.

Episode Highlights: 

01:19 Dove's Journey into Littlespace04:49 Understanding Littlespace and Age Play12:19 Exploring Littlespace Alone and with a Partner21:29 Finding Community and Support28:08 Navigating Consent and Misconceptions30:29 Vetting Potential Partners34:01 Advice for New Littles38:52 Exploring Middle Space

Checkout The Little Spaces

https://littlespaces.co/

https://www.instagram.com/littlespaces.co/

https://payhip.com/littlespaces

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by the brilliant Emma Xin Velicky, founder of Saturday Box—a company designing immersive kink and roleplay experience kits for couples. Emma opens up about her personal evolution from a conservative, sex-negative upbringing to writing romance and co-creating a business that makes intimacy playful, safe, and accessible.

We talk about how Saturday Box blends kink with storytelling, bringing fantasies to life through curated scenes that range from beginner-friendly kink kits to more advanced roleplay adventures. From game mechanics to emotional safety, Emma shares how she and her husband—a game designer—crafted each box to spark connection, deepen communication, and make exploration fun (and hot). I also share my own spicy experience with the Interrogation Scene Box, and spoiler: it did not disappoint.

If you’re curious about how to spice up your relationship, ease into kink with confidence, or just love the idea of turning your bedroom into a choose-your-own-adventure game, this conversation is for you. Tune in for real talk on emotional intelligence, fantasy, and finding freedom through play.

Episode Highlights: 

02:22 Creating Playful and Replayable Experiences

03:04 Exploring Different Role Play Options

04:23 Balancing Experience Levels in Kink

06:07 Dominance and Misconceptions

19:26 Safety and Customization in Role Play

27:45 The Importance of Emotional Intelligence in Kink

29:33 The Problem with Kink Being Underground

35:27 The Joy of Role Play

43:09 Kink in Media and Society

Checkout Saturday Box: 

• https://saturdaybox.com/

• https://www.instagram.com/saturday_box/

• https://www.tiktok.com/@saturday_box

USE THE CODE: TKC upon checkout to get 10% off!

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Porn is reshaping how we view intimacy, and Make Love Not Porn is leading the charge. In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Saniyyah Lateef, a curator for MLNP, to discuss how the platform is redefining adult content by showcasing real-world sex—authentic, unscripted, and deeply connected. We dive into how MLNP challenges mainstream porn stereotypes, promotes sex-positive representation, and ensures every submission prioritizes consent and authenticity.

Saniyyah shares what it means to be an MLNP Star, how curators maintain ethical standards, and why realistic depictions of intimacy matter in a world oversaturated with performative pleasure. We also unpack the impact of ethical adult content on relationships, self-image, and sexual empowerment.

If you’re searching for porn alternatives, curious about other types of adult content, or want to explore how real people are reclaiming their pleasure, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in for a candid, sex-positive conversation that just might change the way you think about intimacy.

Episode Highlights: 

00:27 What is Make Love Not Porn?

04:16 Curator's Role and Responsibilities

16:57 The Importance of Sex Education

20:59 Consent and Safe Practices

21:59 Teaching Boundaries to Children

23:08 The Importance of Comprehensive Sex Education

23:52 Make Love Not Porn: User Engagement and Trends

24:40 Astrology and Sexual Activity Insights

28:21 Community and Privacy in Make Love Not Porn

Checkout Make Love Not Porn: 

• https://makelovenotporn.tv/

• https://www.instagram.com/makelovenotporn

• https://www.facebook.com/mlnp.tv/

• https://twitter.com/makelovenotporn

• https://www.youtube.com/user/makelovenotporntv/featured

Send Your Videos Here: [email protected]

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What do thirst traps, TikTok bans, and Daddy Dom dynamics have in common? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Dilly from @TheLifeofDillyy to talk about his journey from pec-popping TikToker to full-time content creator with a kinky twist. We get into the sensual (and hilarious) evolution of his online presence—and how stepping into his dominant energy opened the door to deeper connection, both on and offline.

We explore what it means to be a “pleasure dom,” the unexpected emotional impact of kink-informed relationships, and why communication—yes, even post-nut communication—is everything. Dilly shares how his past relationship introduced him to the daddy dom/little dynamic, how kink showed up in his love languages, and why even “entry-level” kink still requires serious consent and clarity. We also get into content creation, algorithm struggles, and the fine line between sexy and silly when you’re trying to grow an audience on platforms that love to censor.

If you’re curious about what a soft-launch into kink can look like—or how to blend sensuality, humor, and dom energy into your personal brand—this episode is full of playful insight and real talk. Tune in for an open convo about dominance, desire, and learning what turns you (and your audience) on.

Episode Highlights: 

01:36 From TikTok Fame to OnlyFans

06:18 Creating Viral Content

13:58 Exploring Kink and Relationships

15:12 Becoming a Daddy Dom

22:27 Exploring Kinks and Roleplay

22:56 Keeping the Spark Alive

25:06 Communication in Kink

33:52 Love Languages and Connection

Connect with Dilly

• https://www.instagram.com/thelifeofdillyy/

• https://onlyfans.com/lifeofdilly

• https://x.com/thelifeofdilly

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What happens when one partner is kinky and the other is strictly vanilla? Is it possible to find common ground, or are you setting yourself up for long-term frustration?

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I break down exactly how to navigate this mismatch—starting with how to open up the conversation, get clear on your needs, and avoid making your partner feel like they’re not enough. We’ll talk about the biggest mistakes people make when introducing kink, how to approach the conversation without overwhelming your partner, and what to do if they shut it down completely. Plus, I share my personal experiences (and hard-earned lessons) from past relationships where kink compatibility—or lack thereof—became the dealbreaker.

If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship can survive a kinky/vanilla divide, this episode gives you the real talk you need. Whether you're trying to ease a partner into kink or figuring out if compromise is even possible, this episode is packed with practical advice. Tune in to learn how to navigate this tricky dynamic, communicate your desires effectively, and decide what’s truly right for you.

Episode Highlights: 

01:43 Navigating Differences: Communication Tips

02:33 Personal Experience and Professional Advice

08:51 Handling Rejection and Moving Forward

10:02 Tips for Effective Communication

13:42 Building Confidence in Kink

15:45 Can Kinky and Vanilla Relationships Work?

18:47 Conclusion: Finding Balance and Happiness

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Most people think a Dom/sub relationship is all about power and control—but the reality is, it lives and dies by communication. A strong D/s dynamic isn’t about one person calling all the shots while the other blindly obeys. It’s about negotiation, trust, and making sure both partners’ needs are met. So how do you create a dynamic that actually works? And more importantly, how do you avoid the common pitfalls that can turn power exchange into something unhealthy?

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m breaking down what makes a D/s relationship thrive, from defining roles and boundaries to spotting red flags before they become a problem. Whether you’re a Dom, sub, or switch, I’ll walk you through how to tailor your dynamic, build trust, and communicate like a pro. We’ll also talk about why no one is a “perfect” Dom or sub right out of the gate, how to test out dynamics safely, and why writing out your expectations can save you a lot of frustration down the line.

If you’re ready to build a D/s relationship that actually works for you, this episode is a must-listen. Whether you’re brand new or fine-tuning an existing dynamic, hit play and let’s talk about how to make power exchange empowering for everyone involved.

Episode Highlights: 

02:03 Understanding Switches

02:27 Exploring BDSM Tests

04:04 Healthy Power Exchange

05:10 Setting Relationship Goals

06:48 Adjusting Dynamics

07:43 Customizing Your DS Relationship

09:16 Practical Tips for Beginners

10:37 Feedback and Continuous Improvement

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Take the BDSM Test: https://www.bdsmtest.org

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Finding your kink community can be a game-changer, but where do you even start? Finding the right community is about more than just showing up; it’s about knowing where to look, how to vet spaces, and making connections that actually feel good.

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m breaking down exactly how to find local munches, BDSM events, and online communities without wasting time in the wrong places. I’ll walk you through using FetLife the right way, recognizing red flags at events, and navigating social dynamics so you’re not just standing around awkwardly sipping a soda. Plus, I share my best tips for attending events solo, making introductions without feeling weird, and showing up as your most authentic kinky self.

If you’ve been struggling to find your people, this episode is your roadmap. Whether you’re brand new to the scene or looking to deepen your connections, tune in and get ready to build a community that truly fits you.

Episode Highlights: 

01:43 How to Find Your Kink Community

03:40 Red Flags in Kink Communities

04:59 Online Kink Communities and Safety Tips

08:21 Attending Kink Events: Tips and Advice

14:11 The Importance of Communication in Kink Relationships

15:23 Building and Contributing to Your Kink Community

Go to ⁠http://www.meetkinksters.com/TKC⁠ and you can get 50%off your first month of premium membership! 

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here