Is it possible to find a partner that matches your freak? In Part 2 of my conversation with Kai and Sarah, we dig into what it really looks like to build a relationship around a shared spanking fetish, emotional compatibility, and a power exchange dynamic that works in real life, not just in fantasy.

We explore how their connection evolved from long-distance play partners to a deeply aligned partnership, the structure behind their domestic discipline, and the rituals and rules that support their relationship. They also share how they navigate playing with others, how punishment shows up beyond spanking, and what happens when things don’t go as planned in a scene.

Whether you're dreaming of a dynamic like theirs, navigating kink in your own relationship, or simply curious about how this can look in real life, this episode offers insight, nuance, and a reminder that there is no one way to build something meaningful, just your way.

Episode Highlights: 

03:48 Building a Relationship with Power Exchange

15:27 Daily Rituals and Alternative Punishments

21:47 Struggles and Acceptance of Spanking Desires

23:57 The Depth of Kinky Relationships

34:16 The Importance of Community

39:27 Rules and Consequences in Spanko Dynamics

44:46 Advice for Newcomers

46:42 Future Projects and Normalizing Fetishes

Read Kai’s Writings About Spanking: 

• https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline/posts/12433740

• https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline/posts/11441429

• https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline/posts/6366955

  
  

Connect with Kai and Sarah

• https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline

• https://fetlife.com/Stormborn9 

  
  

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

I’m Co-Authoring a Book! Get updated here: 

• https://www.complicatedpleasures.ca

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What happens when two people spend years suppressing a core part of themselves only to realize that denying their identity comes at too high a cost? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Kai and Sarah for Part 1 of a powerful two-part series exploring how their shared spanking fetish shaped their personal growth, relationships, and ultimately, their path to each other.

We talk about what it was like to try to “make it work” in partnerships that didn’t share their kink, the emotional toll of trying to suppress a core need, and how meeting one another brought clarity, healing, and fulfillment. This conversation goes deep into identity, compatibility, and the courage it takes to choose alignment over obligation.

Whether you’re wrestling with your identity, navigating kink in a relationship, or searching for connection that truly sees you, this episode offers perspective, validation, and the reminder that you're not alone.

In Part 2, we’ll dive into how Kai and Sarah play within their domestic discipline dynamic, how they navigate playing with others, and the rules and structure they’ve built to make it work, so stay tuned for that! 

Episode Highlights: 

02:53 Challenges in Relationships and Spanking

04:43 Finding Fulfillment and Community

17:03 Discipline and Accountability in Spanking

20:07 Reflecting on First Spanking Experiences

22:12 The Challenges of Exploring Kinks in Marriage

25:39 Finding Compatibility and Connection

31:26 Practicing Domestic Discipline

37:10 Advice for Those Struggling with Kink Acceptance

Connect with Kai and Sarah

• https://fetlife.com/KaiDiscipline

• https://fetlife.com/Stormborn9 

  
  

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Book Mentioned: 

• Sex with Shakespeare by Jillian Keenan

Podcast Mentioned: 

• Never Too Old for Agoodspankin https://open.spotify.com/show/2nmEpCSJn9UEigZp3Z1uKc?si=2e07e3435b174154

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1
Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What’s the deal with chastity and why are so many people obsessed with it?

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I welcome back Larah Sky for her second appearance, and trust me, she delivers. Lara gets candid about the psychology behind chastity, why some men crave the cage, and what it really means to hold power in a dynamic built on denial.

We dive deep into virtual chastity, trust vs. control, emotional responsibility, and the growing appeal of long-term denial. Lara also shares how her experience as a sadist and content creator intersects with power exchange and why she believes true submission isn’t about the latex or the aesthetics, but about mindset. Plus, we talk ghosting subs, fan site pressures, and how boundaries and soft dom energy can still feel just as powerful.

Whether you're new to chastity or just curious about the deeper layers of kink, this episode blends education, honesty, and just the right amount of dominance. Tune in to hear how control, craving, and connection come together in the world of conscious kink.

Episode Highlights: 

00:35 Recap of Previous Episode on Chastity

05:59 Exploring Kink and Fetish Parties

10:15 Strange Encounters and Dating Stories

17:08 Understanding Chastity Fantasies

21:23 Nudity and Femdom Perspectives

25:23 Motivational Domination

29:52 Soft Domination and Content Creation

Connect with Larah Sky: 

https://www.larahsky.com/

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What actually happens when you walk away from a BDSM dynamic that no longer works, and end up with someone who still can’t meet your needs, even after you’ve communicated them clearly, more than once? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Brenda (aka my BizDom) to share an honest and frustrating update on my dating life.

I talk about why I chose to leave a partner who understood my kinks but lacked consistency, and how I entered a new connection with someone who seemed open to kink but has shown little interest in learning more. To make things harder, consistent communication has become its own challenge, despite multiple conversations about what I need.

Whether you’ve been here yourself or are trying to avoid this cycle altogether, this episode offers a real look at the emotional toll of unmet needs, the importance of follow-through, and what it takes to stop settling for almost. Tune in for a candid conversation, some hard truths, and the kind of perspective that might just help you reset your own standards.

Episode Highlights: 

01:48 BDSM Contract and Breakup

03:30 Dating and Political Differences

20:44 Navigating New Relationships

22:36 Recognizing Dominant Traits

23:14 Spanking Fetish and Boundaries

26:46 Communication Struggles

28:43 Feeling Unseen and Unheard

31:20 Reflecting on Compatibility

36:26 Bridget Jones Comparison

44:07 Setting Boundaries and Moving Forward

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Keywords: 

dating while kinky, bdsm dating dynamics, friends with benefits breakup, kink consultant podcast, emotional needs in relationships, bdsm communication, kink compatibility, dating red flags, how to talk about kink, bdsm and emotional connection, kink podcast, dating update podcast, dating someone who won’t communicate, unmet needs in relationships, breaking up with fwb, when kink isn’t enough, sex-positive podcast, kink and modern dating, effort in relationships, why communication matters, Dominant and submissive, Dom, sub

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m back with Candace and Derek for Part 2 of our conversation, and trust me, it’s even juicier than the first. From pegging to big dick fantasies to how swinging became part of their love story. This is a real, vulnerable, and hilarious look into intimacy, growth, and letting go of shame.

We dive deep into how religious upbringing impacted Candace’s early sexuality, and how swinging became the unlikely key to her self-love and confidence. They open up about power dynamics, gender roles, jealousy, and the emotional safety it takes to build something that lasts even when other people are watching. We talk about everything from consent violations in group spaces to what it means to hold each other emotionally through sex with others. This isn’t your average swinger story. It’s a masterclass in communication, trust, and letting yourself be seen.

If you’ve ever wondered what real intimacy looks like when you add kink, faith, and a whole lot of dirty talk into the mix, this episode is for you. Tune in to hear how Candace and Derek turned religious pressure into empowered pleasure, and how they’re still rewriting the rules of what love and connection can look like.

Episode Highlights: 

01:27 Exploring Sexuality and Self-Acceptance

04:13 Balancing Religion and Lifestyle

24:41 First Swinger Party Experience

29:49 Positive Feedback and Consent

37:32 Setting Boundaries and Communication

41:08 Handling Jealousy and Self-Discovery

42:45 Advice for Couples

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What actually happens when a long-term monogamous couple decides to explore the world of sex parties and kink for the very first time? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with married couple Derek and Candace, who share exactly what went down during their very first hotwife party weekend in Vegas. 

We talk about navigating consent, comfort, and connection in group play spaces, what makes or breaks a sex party vibe, and how Derek and Candace transitioned from a deeply monogamous marriage to a more open, exploratory dynamic. They also open up about what sparked their curiosity, what it’s like to play with others while staying emotionally connected as a couple, and how kink helped them redefine trust, intimacy, and their relationship to pleasure. We also dig into how emotional safety, exhibitionism, and even shared eye contact can be turn-ons in public play.

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to attend a sex party, open up your relationship, or explore kink for the first time with a partner, this episode offers a raw and relatable perspective. Tune in to hear how one spontaneous night helped spark a new era in their marriage and why connection, honesty, and curiosity matter more than any label.

Episode Highlights: 

00:39 Meeting at the Hot Wife Party

05:45 Exploring the Playrooms

13:45 How Derek and Candace Met

20:09 Intentional Setup: Creating the Perfect Environment

24:37 Reflecting on the Date: Rules and Realizations

28:36 Exploring Kinks and Desires

31:47 Candace's Porn Addiction

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What happens when a sex educator builds a half-million-strong following by telling the unfiltered truth about kink, consent, and community?

In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with the unapologetically brilliant Moxie Rose who is a TikTok creator and in-house educator at Shop Quinky. We get into what it means to lead with authenticity, hold ethical boundaries as an educator, and show up in kink spaces without shame.

Moxie shares her journey from private in-person educator to public kink figure, including how “The Moxie” move went viral, what it’s really like teaching sex ed online, and the importance of rejecting pressure to "go harder" just to prove you're kinky enough. We also dive into her thoughts on power dynamics, teaching consent, fighting coercion in kink spaces, and building inclusive, trust-first communities. From munches to shop floors to massive online platforms, she’s seen it all—and she’s here to tell it like it is.

Whether you're new to kink, building your community, or figuring out where you stand on power and play, this episode is packed with real talk and honest insight. Tune in for a raw, hilarious, and grounded conversation that will leave you smarter, safer, and ready to lead with intention.

Episode Highlights: 

04:01 The Moxie: A Unique Intimacy Technique

06:34 The Importance of Ethical and Inclusive Education

15:18 Building and Finding Good Communities

18:47 Joining Mr. Pierre Fashion

19:58 The Kink Community and Education

20:38 Challenges with Selling Adult Products

22:23 The Role of Education in Kink

34:27 Importance of Boundaries and Consent

Connect with Moxie

• https://www.instagram.com/moxierosedances/

• https://shopquinky.com/

  
  

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

Ep 29 - How to Talk Dirty with Confidence: Expert Tips from Luna Matas

What really holds people back from talking dirty in bed? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Luna Matas who is a Sex and Pleasure Educator, to break down why dirty talk is so hard for so many of us, and how to stop overthinking and start connecting.

We explore Luna’s unique approach to helping people get out of their heads and into their bodies using fantasy, narration, and even some kink-inspired techniques. Luna also shares her favorite tools for unlocking sexy communication, some tips on how to create emotional safety for expression, and why “awkward” isn’t a reason to give up. 

Whether you’re a total newbie or just looking to sharpen your dirty talk game, this episode will give you a new perspective on sexual confidence, intimacy, and how we can all learn to use our words for connection and play. Tune in for some fun and a whole lot of truth you’ll want to bring into your next bedroom adventure.

Episode Highlights: 

05:09 Techniques for Effective Dirty Talk

08:57 Building Sexual Confidence

09:46 Practical Tips for Dirty Talk

15:16 Mixing Sultry and Silly in Dirty Talk

19:54 Balancing Kinky and Vanilla Needs

23:40 Learning to Receive and Set Boundaries

28:43 Body Positivity and Erotic Creativity

29:56 Continuous Learning in Kink and Sex

Connect with Luna Matatas

• https://lunamatatas.com/

• https://www.instagram.com/lunamatatas

• https://twitter.com/lunamatatas

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What happens when a couple decides to put the real parts of their relationship online—the good, the bad, and the brutally honest? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I sit down with Ben and Jas, the wildly relatable couple behind one of Instagram’s most candid and inspiring sex-positive platforms. From viral videos to deep conversations about intimacy, communication, and kink exploration, Ben and Jas are showing the world what real connection actually looks like.

We dive into how their journey from OnlyFans content to relationship coaching started, the challenges of navigating intimacy both on and off camera, and why emotional safety and trust are the real keys to better sex. Ben and Jas open up about their 30 Days of Sex challenge, lessons learned from experimenting with CNC, balancing business and pleasure, and how open communication (even about rejection) keeps their bond strong. Plus, we get into their future plans, including long-form content and empowering more couples to have the conversations that matter.

If you’re craving a refreshingly real take on modern relationships, communication, sex, and building intimacy without the bullshit, this episode is for you. Tune in for laughs, vulnerable moments, and actionable insights you’ll want to bring straight into your own bedroom.

Episode Highlights: 

02:15 The Importance of Open Communication

03:30 Balancing Personal and Professional Lives

06:55 Navigating Feedback in Relationships

15:56 The 30 Days of Sex Challenge

21:11 Exploring Kinks and Boundaries

32:07 Family Reactions to OnlyFans

38:50 Advice for Aspiring Content Creators

Connect with Ben and Jas: 

• https://www.instagram.com/ben_and_jas/

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to explore your desires and elevate your intimate life? Book your FREE 20-minute consultation with The Kink Consultant and discover how personalized coaching can help you unlock your full potential. Whether you’re curious about kink, want to spice things up, or need expert guidance, this is your chance to get tailored advice that meets you where you are. Don’t miss out—schedule your session now and take the first step toward a more fulfilling, authentic you! ⁠Book your consultation here⁠.

What if erotic storytelling could teach you more about intimacy than a sex-ed class ever did? In this episode of The Kink Consultant, I’m joined by one of my favorite creators, Nik—also known as The Forge Bear—whose voice is as powerful as his presence. Nik takes us behind the scenes of his work as an audio erotica creator on Quinn and shares how he uses storytelling to explore sexual self-discovery, kink dynamics, and authentic connection.

We dive deep into kink education, consent, communication, and the battle against performative sexuality online. Nik opens up about his journey from psychology student to audio dom, how he vets play partners, and why building trust is the foundation of any great scene. From safe words to CNC to emotional aftercare, this conversation is full of wisdom, warmth, and way more depth than you’ll find in your average “Dom voice” TikTok.

If you’re curious about kink but don’t know where to start, or you’re craving deeper conversations about power, pleasure, and presence, this episode is for you. Tune in for an intimate, unfiltered, and wildly informative conversation that’s as hot as it is healing.

Episode Highlights: 

01:06 The Power of Audio Erotica

04:45 The Role of a Sex Educator

05:54 Challenges of Digital Education

08:28 Social Media and Misinformation

10:04 Understanding Dom-Sub Dynamics

16:04 Building Trust and Communication with Play Partners

28:37 Advice for Kinky Beginners

Connect with Nik: 

• https://www.instagram.com/nik_the_forge_bear_creations

• https://tiktok.com/@nikgrizz,@niktheforgebear

• https://www.tryquinn.com/creators/nikgrizz

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1