One thing about kinky dating: it should not be this hard to find your people. Thankfully, BeeDee App exists and yes, I brought Pieter back on the podcast because a lot has happened since the first time he was here.

In this episode, Pieter and I get into compatibility percentages, brat detection failures, monogamy filters, and why BeeDee is miles better than scrolling through FetLife hoping someone in your city is actually compatible. We also talk about BeeDee’s new features like incognito mode and travel mode, and the wild stats behind how many messages, matches, and relationships are happening because of this app. 

If you’ve ever wished kinky dating felt easier, more intentional, and way less chaotic, this episode is your permission slip to finally download the app, take the test, and meet people who actually match you inside and outside the bedroom.

Episode Highlights: 

00:00 Personal Experiences with BeeDee App

13:24 The Origin Story of BeeDee App

20:29 New Features and Updates on BeeDee App

29:47 Upcoming Features on BeeDee App

Download the BeeDee App 

https://web.beedee.app/

Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/

Sign-Up For the TCK Couples Retreat: https://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist

Connect with Me: 

⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

"The number one thing about being a Dom is you need to have the best interest of the other person in mind.You cannot take advantage of the other person because of their submissive role."

In this episode, we're continuing the conversation about finding Doms, and what actually makes a good one. Spoiler: it's not about being the strictest or the loudest, it's about showing up consistently, knowing when to admit you're wrong, and understanding that feelings can (and will) change how you play. We dive into what he's actually looking for in a submissive, how he deals with performance anxiety without spiraling, and why sometimes the best thing a Dom can do is pause the whole D/S dynamic.

If you've been wondering what separates a good Dom from someone who just talks a big game, or you're trying to level up your own leadership without losing your mind, you'll definitely enjoy this episode.

Episode Highlights: 

00:00 Understanding the Dom-Sub Dynamic

06:28 Educating Your Dom

11:09 Consistency in Dom-Sub Relationships

20:59 Support and Consistency in D/s Dynamics

27:29 Spotting Submissive Tendencies

38:42 Exploring New Dynamics Together

Sign-up for the Couples Retreat! For couples and curious duos ready to explore kink, deepen trust, and turn communication into connection. ⁠https://www.amandadames.com/BetaWaitlist⁠

Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at ⁠https://www.kinkycruise.com⁠ and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person.

Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: ⁠https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/⁠

Connect with Me: 

⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠⁠

One of the questions I get constantly is, “Where can I find a Dom?”

So in this episode, I sit down with my Dom to talk honestly about where real Doms come from, how he found the kink community, and what he actually looks for when choosing a submissive.

In this episode, he shares how he found the kink community, what shaped the way he leads, and how our dynamic started long before either of us named it. We talk about emotional steadiness, consistency, red flags, green flags, and the difference between a man performing dominance and someone who can genuinely hold you. 

If you’ve ever wondered where to meet a Dom, how to choose one, or what a grounded power exchange feels like from the inside, this conversation gives you a clear, real-world look behind the scenes.

Episode Highlights: 

00:00 Discovering FetLife and Online Communities

05:33 Learning and Growing as a Dom

24:11 How We Actualy Me

25:48 Advice for Subs and Doms in the Dating World

33:59 The Importance of Communication and Flexibility

36:16 Handling Emotional Regulation and Vulnerability

40:06 Respecting Boundaries and Insecurities

How to Tell Your Partner Your Kink Join this 1-hr workshop and learn how to talk to your partner about your kink without shame, panic, or awkward silence https://www.amandadames.com/offers/GvipoKWe/checkout

Let’s take kink to the high seas! Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person.

Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/

Connect with Me: 

⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers with Kathy Kay 

In this episode, I talk with Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous podcast and author of Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. We get into how her hit podcast began with Craigslist ads, how she’s collected over 1,200 real-life sex stories, and what she’s learned about desire, shame, and human nature along the way.

Kathy Kay and I dive into the wildest stories from her new book; from 50 gangbangs to secret throuples, and women discovering their sexuality later in life. We talk about how these confessions reveal the truth about what people really want, how she keeps it all anonymous, and why storytelling is the key to normalizing desire without shame.

If you’ve ever been curious about the fantasies people keep hidden or just love hearing real stories that prove no one is as “normal” as they seem, this episode is going to be your new guilty pleasure.

Pre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd

Episode Highlights: 

(00:00) How Strictly Anonymous Confessions Was Born

(09:00) The Stories Behind the Book

(18:00) Shame, Desire, and Owning Your Pleasure

(23:00) Normalizing Nontraditional Relationships

(35:00) Why People Crave Anonymity and Confession

Pre-order The Book: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd⁠

Listen to the Podcast: https://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Check Out My Friday Vibe Series: 

https://thekinkconsultant.substack.com/

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

What happens when your ADHD brain meets your kink identity? Turns out, they have a lot more in common than you might think.

In this episode, I sit down with Cate Osborne, also known as Catieosaurus, sex educator, content creator, and author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults, to talk about how neurodivergence shapes intimacy, communication, and play. Cate shares her story of being diagnosed with ADHD at 30 and how that discovery changed everything: from her relationships to her career to the way she experiences pleasure.

We dive into rejection sensitivity, safe words, aftercare, and why kink can be such a powerful framework for neurodivergent people to feel seen, understood, and safe. Cate also shares insights from her new book, a practical (and very funny) guide to adulting with ADHD, and why she believes self-compassion is one of the most underrated forms of aftercare.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” struggled to ask for what you need, or wanted to understand how kink and neurodivergence overlap, this episode will make you feel a little less alone and a lot more understood.

Episode Highlights: 

00:00 ADHD and Kink: The Overlap

12:21 Rejection Sensitivity and Kink

19:23 The Power of Self-Advocacy

21:03 Kink and Neurodivergence

24:41 Personal Kink Journeys

28:54 Normalizing Kink and Communication

Pre-Order her book here: 

​​https://catieosaurus.com/the-adhd-field-guide

Connect with Cate: 

https://www.instagram.com/catieosaurus/

https://catieosaurus.com

Connect with Me: 

⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Let’s take kink to the high seas! 

Join me at the Kinky Cruise at https://www.kinkycruise.com and use code TKC50 FOR $50 off per person.

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

What really happens after betrayal, and how do you start to heal when trust has been broken?

In this episode, I sit down with Lauren LaRusso, therapist and infidelity specialist, to talk about the messy, painful, and deeply human side of cheating. We explore why infidelity happens, the emotional chaos it brings, and how both partners, the betrayed and the betrayer, can find their way back to honesty and self-understanding.

Lauren and I also unpack the connection between kink and infidelity, how fear of rejection, shame, or unmet desires can lead someone to explore outside their relationship. We talk about the importance of vulnerability, honest communication, and the courage it takes to express who you really are before crisis hits.

If you’ve ever been cheated on, cheated yourself, or just want to understand what drives betrayal, this episode is a raw, compassionate, deep dive into the psychology of desire, avoidance, and emotional repair.

Episode Highlights: 

00:00 Defining Cheating and Its Complexities

07:28 The Role of Kink in Infidelity

19:32 Living Authentically in Relationships

22:13 Practicing Honesty in Relationships

24:28 Facing the Fear of Abandonment

32:11 Resources for Healing and Support

Connect with Lauren: 

https://www.laurenlarusso.com/contact

https://www.instagram.com/laurenlarusso

Connect with Me: 

⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Episode 56 - For Beau Delacroix, kink isn’t just play. It’s art, storytelling, and self-expression.

In this episode, I go behind the scenes with Beau to talk about how creativity and control come together in his work as a Dom, content creator, and artist. From filming erotic stories to crafting toys by hand, Beau shares how intention, aesthetics, and vulnerability shape every scene he creates.

We talk about the balance between dominance and empathy, how to lead with emotional intelligence, and what it means to create art that feels both erotic and human. Beau also opens up about masculinity, shame, and why letting go of perfection is often the most liberating part of creation both in kink and in life.

If you’ve ever been curious about the artistry behind BDSM or how creators like Beau turn fantasy into something real, this episode is your invitation to step behind the curtain.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Journey into Content Creation

20:46 Living Openly and Embracing Kink

22:59 Navigating Kink Dynamics in Relationships

27:07 Teaching Kink to Long-Term Partners

30:44 Crafting and Sharing Kink Implements

33:34 Balancing Control in Kink and Personal Life

40:08 Finding Kinky Partners in the Modern Dating World

Connect with Beau:

https://www.instagram.com/beau_delacroix/

https://www.tiktok.com/@beau_delacroix

https://onlyfans.com/artoforgasm

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.

Episode 56 - In this episode, I sit down with my friend Aubrey Aust, a relational psychology and philosophy researcher from NYU, to unpack the psychology behind BDSM, fantasy, and desire. We talk about how kink can become a space for healing, a “relational laboratory” for exploring trust, safety, and selfhood.

Aubrey and I go deep on Freud, daddy issues, jealousy, and why honesty about desire is non-negotiable. We explore how shame can block intimacy, what embodiment really feels like, and how the dynamics of dominance and submission mirror our earliest emotional patterns. Whether you’re a dom, sub, switch, or just curious about the psychology behind play, this conversation will have you thinking about kink in a whole new way.

Episode Highlights: 

(00:00) Exploring Fantasy and Desire Through BDSM

(02:45) Revisiting Freud and Modern Sexual Psychology

(10:45) The Power of Honesty in Desire and Connection

(15:00) Working With Kinky and Non-Kinky Partners

(21:00) Embodiment, Boundaries, and Somatic Awareness

(29:00) Can Kink Be Therapeutic?

(34:00) Relational Energy and Co-Regulation

 Check out Lube Life's ultra slick, thick silicone lube!

Connect with Aubrey Aust

https://www.instagram.com/aubrey__aust

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.

Episode 55 - Let’s talk about back door play, the kind of pleasure that deserves way more hype (and way less shame).

In this episode, I sit down with Annette Benedetti, host of Talk Sex with Annette and certified sex and intimacy coach, to unpack everything you’ve ever wanted to know about exploring the back door. We get into how to prepare, what to expect, and how to make it fun, safe, and insanely pleasurable for everyone involved.

Annette shares her real-life guide; from her favorite toys and plugs to lube tips, comfort positions, and how to talk about it without awkwardness. We also discuss why communication and consent are the ultimate turn-ons, how to handle nerves (and mess), and why curiosity should always come before shame.

If you’ve ever been curious about trying backdoor play but weren’t sure where to start, this episode gives you all the confidence, info, and laughter you need to make it your new favorite adventure.

Episode Highlights

(00:00) The Myth of Virginity and the Power of Experience

(12:00) Exploring the Backdoor: Tips, Prep, and Cleanliness

(18:00) Backdoor Toys, Training Kits, and Plug Preferences

(29:00) Safety Tips, Hygiene, and Aftercare

(32:00) Understanding Partners, Boundaries, and Communication

(38:00) Breaking Shame and Making Pleasure Normal

Connect with Annette: 

https://www.instagram.com/annettebenedetti/

www.youtube.com/@talksexwithannette

talksexwithannette.com/shop-with-annette

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

  
  

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1

Ready to turn people on and change their lives? Get certified with Somatica at somaticainstitute.com and use code TKC25 for $750 off your enrollment.

Episode 54 - In this episode, I sit down with Lee, founder of ConCations, the company behind Kinky Cruise and Kinky Caribbean, to talk about what really happens when the kink world hits the high seas. We get into how these cruises came to life, what makes them so different from your typical hotel takeovers, and why so many people leave feeling more connected than ever to themselves, their partners, and the community.

Lee also opens up about his own 24/7 power exchange dynamic, what it’s like juggling kink, family, and polyamory, and why these events are about so much more than sex. They’re about finding your people, building real intimacy, and creating spaces where everyone belongs.

If you’ve ever wanted to explore lifestyle travel or just love the idea of a vacation where consent, connection, and play come first, this episode will have you ready to pack your cuffs (and maybe your sunscreen).

Episode Highlights

(00:00) From Weekend Cons to Weeklong Connections

(10:00) Bridging Swingers and Kinksters with Swinkation

(20:00) High Protocol vs. Everyday Power Exchange

(33:00) Beach Parties, Dungeons, and Sex-Positive Play

(39:00) Connecting Before the Cruise Starts

(41:00) Why This Is Perfect for Beginners

Join the next Kinky Cruise! Head to https://www.ConCations.com and use the code TKC50 for fifty dollars off your booking!

Connect with Me: 

• ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@thekinkconsultant⁠

• ⁠https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/⁠

Speak Your Desires with Confidence - Download this FREE step-by-step guide to having open, honest, and judgment-free conversations about kink, boundaries, and pleasure.

https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1