On today’s show, I discuss trauma bonding, what it is, how it forms, and why it feels so powerful. We take a clinical and grounded look at the psychological mechanisms behind trauma bonding, from intermittent reinforcement to early survival adaptations shaped by attachment wounds. I break down how these patterns show up in both vanilla relationships and kink dynamics, where power exchange can sometimes blur the line between healthy vulnerability and trauma reenactment. We cover the red flags to watch for, why smart and self-aware people can get pulled into these cycles, and what it takes to begin breaking them. If you have ever wondered why unstable relationships can feel so compelling, this episode will give you a deeper understanding.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Trauma #Bonding

On today’s show, I discuss the reality behind love bombing: what it is, why it works, and how it shows up in both vanilla and kink dynamics. We’ll look at the psychology behind the behavior, the emotional impact on the person receiving it, and the signs you might already be in it without realizing. From rushed intimacy to coercive affection, I break down how love bombing can distort consent, erode pacing, and blur the line between connection and control. Whether you're a Dom, sub, or just someone trying to understand where intensity ends and manipulation begins.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #LoveBombing

On today’s show, I discuss what happens when the relationship you built no longer fits the life you’re living now. I explore the need for renegotiation, not because something is broken, but because people change. From emotional contracts and outdated roles to attachment patterns and the psychology of growth, I break down why honest check-ins matter and how to approach them without fear. Whether you're in a vanilla marriage, a long-term D/s dynamic, or somewhere in between, this episode offers insight into how relationships evolve and how to meet each other again with clarity, presence, and intention.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Renegotiation #Evolution

On today’s show, I discuss what happens when love and erotic identity don’t align. Can a relationship survive when one partner is kinky and the other isn’t? I explore the emotional split, the impact of performative dynamics, the hope that love can “convert” desire, and the quiet cost of suppressing who you are to stay connected. This is an honest look at erotic mismatch, self-abandonment, and what it really means to compromise.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Relationships #Erotic #Desires #Alignment

On today’s show, I discuss the growing misuse of trauma language in kink education and why it’s more than just a trend. From burnout worksheets shared without context to influencers offering therapy-adjacent advice without credentials, we’re exploring where personal experience stops and clinical responsibility begins. I break down the differences between trauma-informed and trauma-specific work, the risks of therapeutic mimicry, and how unqualified voices are reshaping safety in BDSM communities. Whether you’re a teacher, leader, or participant, this episode is about discernment, accountability, and protecting the integrity of healing.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Trauma #Education #Responsibility

In this episode, I return to a topic I covered early on: rejection resilience. This time, I’m taking a direct look at ghosting. We explore the difference between hurt and harm, why not every disappearance is an act of betrayal, and how emotional entitlement shows up in the aftermath. For those in the BDSM community, where intensity and vulnerability run deep, ghosting can feel like a violation. But is it always? I break down why autonomy includes the right to walk away, how we confuse discomfort with danger, and what it really takes to move on without closure. It won’t be easy listening, but it’s a conversation that needs to happen.

References

Campbell, W. K., Bonacci, A. M., Shelton, J.,Exline, J. J., & Bushman, B. J. (2004). Psychological entitlement:Interpersonal consequences and validation of a self-report measure. Journalof Personality Assessment, 83(1), 29–45. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327752jpa8301_04

Kruglanski, A. W., Webster, D. M., & Klem,A. (1993). Motivated resistance and openness to persuasion in the presence orabsence of prior information. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,65(5), 861–876. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.67.6.1063

Romero-Canyas, R., Downey, G., Berenson, K.,Ayduk, O., & Kang, N. J. (2010). Rejection sensitivity and therejection-hostility link in romantic relationships. Journal of Personality,78(1), 119–148. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2009.00611.x

Schaan, V. K., & Vögele, C. (2016).Resilience and rejection sensitivity mediate long-term outcomes of parentaldivorce. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 25(11), 1267–1269. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-016-0893-7

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Rejection #Ghosting #Resilience

On today’s episode, I discuss how resentment takes root in power exchange relationships and why it often goes unnoticed until real damage is done. I explore the emotional cost of silence, how forgiveness gets misused, and why avoiding conflict can slowly erode trust and connection. This is a conversation about clarity over comfort, and what it really takes to keep a dynamic emotionally honest and sustainable.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Resentment #Silence

On today’s show, I discuss the eroticism of punishment, and why, for many, it’s not about pain but about being seen. I explore how early attachment wounds, shame, and emotional neglect can shape our adult desires, especially in kink and power exchange dynamics. This episode dives into the psychology of arousal, trauma reenactment, and the thin line between healing and compulsion. Whether you’re a Dominant, submissive, or just curious about where your cravings come from, this is an invitation to unpack the emotional roots beneath the erotic charge and to explore what conscious, emotionally safe kink can really look like.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Punishment #Attachment #Shame

On today’s show, I discuss the growing trend of drinking and substance use at dungeons and BDSM events. As different lifestyles like polyamory and swinging increasingly overlap with kink spaces, the standards around consent, autonomy, and responsibility are starting to shift, and not in ways that protect the community. I break down why sobriety matters in play spaces, the risks that come with impaired consent, and how easily lines can blur when alcohol enters environments built on trust. This is not about blame. It is about stewardship. It is about protecting the spaces that allow real vulnerability and real power exchange to happen safely. If we care about the future of our community, it is time we start having the harder conversations.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Drinking #AlcoholUse #Substances

Sovereignty On today’s episode, I discuss personal power and sovereignty, not as abstract ideas but as lived experiences that shape how we navigate identity, roles, and relationships. I explore the difference between positional power and personal power, how trauma impacts our ability to trust ourselves, and what it means to reclaim our sense of self in the context of kink dynamics and beyond. Whether you’re Dominant, submissive, Switch, or something else entirely, this conversation is about learning to live in alignment with who you are, without apology, without performance, and without giving that power away.

References

Freyd, J. J. (1996). Betrayal trauma: The logic of forgetting childhood abuse. Harvard University Press.

Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence—from domestic abuse to political terror. Basic Books.

Siegel, D. J. (2010). The mindful therapist: A clinician’s guide to mindsight and neural integration. W. W. Norton & Company.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #PersonalPower #Sovereignty