Does trauma cause BDSM desires? Is kink just a reenactment of old wounds? Or can it be something more, a form of healing, reclamation, or simply joy? I break down the difference between influence and origin, explore what it means when kink feels familiar, and offer a path forward grounded in choice, consent, and self-understanding. This is not about shame. It’s about clarity. Whether you're a survivor, a practitioner, or simply curious, this episode invites you to explore where your desires come from and what they mean to you now.

📚References (APA Style)

• Li, S. (2024). The psychology of kink: A cross-sectional survey investigating the association between adult attachment style and BDSM-related identity choice in China. Archives of Sexual Behavior. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-024-02829-1
• Schuerwegen, A., Morrens, M., Wuyts, E., Huys, W., Goethals, K., & De Zeeuw-Jans, I. (2022). The psychology of kink: A survey study investigating stigma and psychological mechanisms in BDSM. European Psychiatry, 64(S1), S620. https://doi.org/10.1192/j.eurpsy.2022.1566
• Speciale, M., & Khambatta, D. (2020). Kinky & queer: Exploring the experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals who practice BDSM. Journal of LGBT Issues in Counseling, 14(4), 341–361. https://doi.org/10.1080/15538605.2020.1827476
• Sprott, R. A., Vivid, J., & Lev, E. M. (2020). The structure of kink identity: Four key themes within a world of complexity. Journal of Positive Sexuality, 6(1), 1–8. https://journalofpositivesexuality.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/Structure-of-kink-identity_key-themes-within-a-world-of-complexity-Vivid-Lev-Sprott.pdf

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Trauma #Desire

On this episode, I discuss a topic that continues to challenge kink communities everywhere: should individuals on the Sex Offender Registry be allowed into public events or dungeons? I explore the emotional and psychological impact these decisions have, not just on survivors but on entire communities. From leadership accountability to the erosion of trust, I take a hard look at what happens when safety, consent, and transparency are sidelined. This isn’t about personal attacks. It’s about the behaviors, policies, and silences that shape the spaces we claim to keep safe. It’s a hard conversation, but it’s one we need to have.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Consent #Safety

On this episode, I discuss coercion, boundaries, and consent, not as buzzwords, but as lived realities inside power exchange relationships. We break down what these terms actually mean, how they get confused or manipulated in kink spaces, and why that confusion causes real harm.

I speak to the ways coercion can be disguised as Dominance or devotion, how internalized guilt keeps people silent, and why accountability is not a threat to the lifestyle. It is essential to it.

This episode is a call back to clarity, to personal agency, and to the kind of kink that builds people up, not breaks them down. Whether you are questioning something in your own dynamic or supporting someone else through theirs, this one is for you.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Coercion #Consent #Boundaries

On this episode, I discuss people-pleasing behavior and how it shows up in the lifestyle. I break down what it really is, where it comes from, and why it’s often mistaken for consent. I talk about the difference between saying yes from a place of choice versus saying yes out of fear, and why that difference matters so much in kink. If you’ve ever found yourself agreeing to something just to keep the peace or avoid conflict, this one’s for you.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #PeoplePleasing #Behavior #Fawning

On today's show, I discuss how military personnel and veterans navigate power exchange in BDSM. The structure, discipline, and leadership developed in service shape both Dominance and submission, influencing how they engage in D/s relationships. Some embrace the authority and control of a Dominant role, while others find submission as a way to release responsibility in a structured and intentional way. I explore how military training aligns with high-protocol dynamics, the challenges of balancing strength with vulnerability, and the unique ways service members adapt to BDSM.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Military #Strength

On today’s show, I discuss the difference between loneliness and solitude, and why understanding both is essential for personal growth and deeper connections. I dive into how loneliness can show up even in the kink and BDSM community, and how it affects our relationships with ourselves and others. I also explore how embracing solitude can be a powerful tool for reflection, healing, and understanding our desires and boundaries. It’s a conversation about how these feelings shape our lives and how we can use them to better connect with ourselves and the people around us.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at www.enhanced-mind.com

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Solitude #Loneliness

On today’s episode, I discuss the fine line between validation and dependence in D/s relationships. While praise and approval are natural parts of power exchange, they shouldn’t become the foundation of self-worth. When one partner relies too much on the other for validation, it can create emotional instability and strain the dynamic. I explore how this happens, the impact on both submissives and Dominants, and what each can do to foster a healthier, more secure connection.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at www.enhanced-mind.com

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Validation #PowerExchange

For over a decade, John Baku’s name has been tied to a community that never sleeps. But what does that do to a person? In this conversation, it’s not about the platform, it’s about him. The weight, the expectations, the moments no one sees. No scripted answers, no filters, just an honest look at the man behind it all. This is John Baku, like you’ve never heard him before.

His profile on Fetlife: @JohnBaku

Special appearance by @R4mon

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at www.enhanced-mind.com

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Raw #Real #BehindtheScenes

On today’s episode, I discuss emotional vampires, those people who drain your energy, manipulate situations, and thrive on drama. In the BDSM lifestyle, where trust and deep connections matter, they can be especially damaging. We’ll break down how they operate, the tactics they use, and most importantly, how to protect yourself. And stick around until the end, I’ll be revealing my special, upcoming guest interview that you won’t want to miss.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at www.enhanced-mind.com

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #EmotionalVampires

On this episode, I discuss the growing trend of BDSM education becoming a business first and a learning tool second. With more self-proclaimed educators, coaches, and researchers flooding the space, it’s becoming harder to separate real knowledge from clever marketing.

I break down the red flags to watch for, titles that sound official but lack regulation, coaching that blurs the line with therapy, and courses designed to keep people paying rather than truly learning. When education stops empowering and starts exploiting, who really benefits?

Tune in as I unpack how misinformation spreads, why critical thinking is crucial, and how to spot the difference between genuine educators and opportunists.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at www.enhanced-mind.com

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#BDSM #Psychology #Education #Ethics