The Kink Perspective

Some relationships don't stay together because they're healthy. They stay together because one person is constantly managing tension, solving problems, and carrying responsibilities that were never meant to belong to them alone. In this episode, I explore what happens when that person reaches their limit, why the relationship often appears to get worse, and how stability and health are not always the same thing.

This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling.

If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it.

Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now.

#Psychology #Codependency #EmotionalLabor

On today's show, I sat down with Toke-n-Tease to discuss her fourteen-year journey through the swinger lifestyle, non-monogamy, and personal growth. What began with a conversation with her husband in 2012 eventually became a path toward greater self-acceptance, confidence, and emotional honesty. We explored the realities of alternative relationships and the lessons she learned about herself along the way.

Follow her on Fetlife - @Toke-n-Tease

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it.

What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#Psychology #Identity #Marriage

On today's show, I talk about why the person we fell for can slowly start disappearing inside a relationship. We explore how relationships gradually become responsible for our belonging, security, validation, and identity, often without either person realizing it's happening. Most importantly, we look at why this process feels like closeness while it's occurring and why so many people don't recognize the cost until much later.

This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling.

If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it.

Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now.

#Psychology #Relationships #Identity

On today’s show, I’m talking about why what feels like desire is often something else entirely. How sex stops being the goal and becomes the moment people use to figure out where they stand. And why once that shift happens, you’re no longer chasing the person, you’re chasing what it’s supposed to mean.

This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it.

Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?
Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠

Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now.

#Psychology #Relationships #Attachment

On today’s show, I discuss the strange ways people try to communicate attraction, interest, tension, and emotional vulnerability without ever fully saying what they mean directly. From jokes that are not really jokes to “just curious” questions and vague comments loaded with implication, I get into how people test, hint, and watch reactions closely while trying to avoid the risk of direct rejection, and how that ambiguity can slowly become frustrating, emotionally exhausting, and difficult to escape.

This episode is sponsored by Nothosaur. Explore their collection here: ⁠⁠⁠https://nothosaur.com/⁠⁠⁠

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it.

Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠

Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most of your eBooks. Print version out now!

#Psychology #Vulnerability #Communication

On today’s show, I’m talking about what happens after something vulnerable is said in a relationship. Not the buildup, not the moment itself, but the shift that comes after. How things start to feel different, how people overthink the reaction, and how distance can quietly build even when nothing has actually gone wrong.

This episode is sponsored by Nothosaur. Explore their collection here: ⁠⁠https://nothosaur.com/⁠⁠

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | SubstackIf you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most of your eBooks. Print version out now!

#Psychology #Vulnerability #Exposure

On today’s show, I am talking about the desires people keep to themselves and what actually happens emotionally when they finally try to say them out loud. I get into the fear underneath these conversations, the way people quietly test emotional safety before speaking, and how quickly shame, insecurity, and defensiveness can enter the room once vulnerability is exposed.

This episode is sponsored by Nothosaur. Explore their collection here: ⁠https://nothosaur.com/⁠

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-MindDon't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠[email protected]⁠

Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | SubstackIf you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most of your eBooks. Print version out now!

#Psychology #Desire #Shame

On today’s show, I discuss why something that used to feel intense can start to feel flat. I walk through how repetition replaces engagement, how familiarity changes your response, and what it takes to shift out of that pattern.

This episode is sponsored by Nothosaur. Explore their collection here: https://nothosaur.com/

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind
Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?
Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack
If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at https://enhanced-mind.com/

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most of your eBooks. Print version out now!

#Psychology #Intimacy #Repetition

On this episode, I sit down with HiThereCatsuit, host of Authentically Kinky Podcast, bringing decades in the lifestyle and a lot of real perspective to the table. We get into how kink has actually shifted over time, how people are coming into it now, and where things are getting a bit off track, especially around intensity, identity, and the influence of social media. It is a straightforward conversation about what still matters and what people tend to miss.

Follow him on Fetlife - @HiThereCatsuit

Listen to his show - AuthenticallyKinky

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode? Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#Psychology #SocialMedia #BDSM

On today’s show, I discuss how trust in communities often gets assigned before it’s earned. How reputation, visibility, and repeated narratives shape who people see as safe or credible without direct experience. And what happens when that kind of trust shifts just as quickly as it was given.

Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind

Don't forget to hit the follow button and rate my show 5 stars so others may find it. What to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?

Email me at [email protected]

Find me on Substack - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

If you are looking for a therapist that is knowledgeable about the lifestyle, or just a therapist in general, please feel free to reach out through my website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. Can find it where you purchase most of your ebooks. Print version out now!

#Psychology #Trust #Reputation