You have done it a hundred times. Someone senior asks where things stand, and you give them the full picture: every work stream accounted for, clear timelines, nothing missed.

Sure, you must have sounded competent and in control. But what if that type of response actually costs you authority?

Most managers never catch this happening, because nothing about the update looked wrong.

The cost shows up months later, in a promotion conversation, or in who gets pulled into the room where the decision actually gets made.

In this episode, Ramona breaks down why an update and a briefing look identical on the surface while functioning as two completely different transactions, and what to change before your next meeting with anyone more senior than you.

In this episode:

• The Decision Line: the invisible boundary between where effort lives and where authority lives
• Why the research on processing fluency is so unkind to thorough people
• The four moves that keep you above the line, including the one most managers skip entirely
• What to say when someone deliberately pulls you down into the weeds
• A one-word protocol you can install with your team this week

If you have ever walked out of a leadership meeting feeling like you did everything right and still lost the room, this episode is for you.

Watch on YouTube: The Manager Track on YouTube.

— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE —

• The Executive Presence Intensive, Ramona’s eight-week program for senior leaders. Next cohort starts September 28. https://archova.org/executive-presence-program/
• Free New Manager Masterclass: archova.org/masterclass
• The Confident & Competent New Manager by Ramona Shaw: archova.org/books

— LINKS —

• Schedule a Leadership Strategy Call with Ramona HERE (calendly.com/ramonashaw/leadership-strategy-session).
• Grab the free New Manager Toolkit mentioned in the episode: archova.org/freetoolkits
• Learn how to turn your 1-on-1 meetings from time wasters, awkward moments, status updates, or non-existent into your most important and valuable meeting with your directs all week. Learn more at: http://archova.org/1on1-course
• Grab your copy of Ramona’s best-selling book ‘The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role’: amzn.to/3TuOdcP

— OTHER EPISODES YOU MIGHT LIKE —

• Episode 303 – Exec Communication: How to Speak So Senior Leaders Actually Listen — https://www.ramonashaw.com/how-to-speak-so-senior-leaders-actually-listen/
• Episode 309 – From Executor to Strategist: How to Talk About Your Work at the Right Altitude — https://www.ramonashaw.com/crafting-a-vision-as-a-leader/

— WHAT’S NEXT? —

Learn more about our leadership development programs, coaching and workshops at archova.org.

Grab your copy of Ramona’s best-selling book ‘The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role’: amzn.to/3TuOdcP

Want to better understand your leadership style and patterns? Take our free quiz to discover your Manager Archetype and learn how to play to your strengths and uncover your blind spots: archova.org/quiz

Are you in your first manager role and don’t want to mess it up? Watch our FREE Masterclass and discover the 4 shifts to become a leader people love to work for: archova.org/masterclass

Love the podcast and haven’t left a review yet? All you have to do is go to ramonashaw.com/itunes and to our Spotify Page, and give your honest review. Thanks for your support of this show!

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram Stories, and tag me @ramona.shaw.leadership or DM me on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/ramona-shaw

* Disclaimer: Shownotes may contain affiliate links. That means that I am awarded a small commission for purchases made through them, at no added cost to you.

Most resistance to growth never announces itself. It shows up as a calendar that will not cooperate, a quarter that is too full, a leadership program that would be a better fit next year.

Maren Perry, founder and CEO of Arden Coaching, has spent twenty years working with senior leaders and executives. She can identify what usually lies beneath that scheduling problem. People reach senior roles because they were very good at something, and that gives them something to protect. Coaching asks them to set it down for an hour and look honestly (and vulnerably) at what is working and what is not.

In this episode, Ramona and Maren get into the part of leadership growth that rarely gets said out loud: the distance between what a leader knows they should do and what they actually make room for.

They dig into:

• What resistance looks like
• The two sides of any goal, the thinking side and the feeling side, and what it means when they do not match
• Why people feel stuck
• The quadrant most leaders agree drives their success and still give zero attention to

If you have a project, a conversation, or a development opportunity that has been sitting on your list for months, this conversation will help you understand why it is still sitting there even though you know you "should" tackle it now.

Watch on YouTube: The Manager Track on YouTube

— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE —

• Maren Perry, Founder and CEO of Arden Coaching, on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/marenperry
• Arden Coaching: ardencoaching.com
• Listener resources from Maren: ardencoaching.com/podcast

— LINKS —

• Schedule a Leadership Strategy Call with Ramona here: calendly.com/ramonashaw/leadership-strategy-session
• Grab the free New Manager Toolkit mentioned in the episode: archova.org/freetoolkits
• Learn how to turn your 1-on-1 meetings from time wasters, awkward moments, status updates, or non-existent into your most important and valuable meeting with your directs all week. Learn more at: http://archova.org/1on1-course
• Grab your copy of Ramona's best-selling book 'The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role': amzn.to/3TuOdcP

— OTHER EPISODES YOU MIGHT LIKE —

• Episode 194 – Coachability: https://www.ramonashaw.com/194-coachability
• Episode 294 – Want to Achieve Big Goals? The Two Critical Factors Most People Miss: https://www.ramonashaw.com/achieve-big-goals

— WHAT'S NEXT? —

Learn more about our leadership development programs, coaching and workshops at archova.org.

Grab your copy of Ramona's best-selling book 'The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role': amzn.to/3TuOdcP

Want to better understand your leadership style and patterns? Take our free quiz to discover your Manager Archetype and learn how to play to your strengths and uncover your blind spots: archova.org/quiz

Are you in your first manager role and don't want to mess it up? Watch our FREE Masterclass and discover the 4 shifts to become a leader people love to work for: archova.org/masterclass

Love the podcast and haven't left a review yet? All you have to do is go to ramonashaw.com/itunes and to our Spotify Page, and give your honest review. Thanks for your support of this show!

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram Stories, and tag me @ramona.shaw.leadership or DM me on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/ramona-shaw

* Disclaimer: Shownotes may contain affiliate links. That means that I am awarded a small commission for purchases made through them, at no added cost to you.

Someone on your team does something you do not like. It is small, so you let it go. It happens again a few weeks later, and you let that one go too. By the third time, you are irritated, and now you are carrying six weeks of unspoken frustration into a thirty-minute feedback conversation. Even if you keep your cool, that pressure goes somewhere. Into your tone, your body language, sometimes the words you pick.

Ramona calls this the most reliable way managers turn a manageable issue into a performance problem. Silence is not neutral. Every week you notice something and say nothing, you are teaching your team member that it is acceptable.

In this episode, Ramona breaks one feedback conversation into three and gives the exact language for each one.

• The 90-second conversation that stops most performance problems from ever becoming performance problems
• The recovery move for when you already skipped the first two conversations and the review is next week
• Three research findings that explain why your direct report is genuinely surprised when you finally speak up

If you have ever documented a problem privately for months and then watched someone say "this is the first I'm hearing of any of this," this episode is for you.

Watch on YouTube: The Manager Track on YouTube

— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE —

• The Confident & Competent New Manager by Ramona Shaw, the source of the meetings example: amzn.to/3TuOdcP
• Kluger, A. N., and DeNisi, A. (1996). The effects of feedback interventions on performance. Psychological Bulletin. The meta-analysis covering 607 feedback incidents and over 23,000 observations.
• The invisible gorilla selective attention study by Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons.
• The Leadership Accelerator, Archova's 12-week program for new and first-time managers: archova.org/leadership-accelerator
• Free masterclass for new managers: archova.org/masterclass

— LINKS —

• Schedule a Leadership Strategy Call with Ramona HERE: https://calendly.com/ramonashaw/leadership-strategy-session
• Grab the free New Manager Toolkit mentioned in the episode: archova.org/freetoolkits
• Learn how to turn your 1-on-1 meetings from time wasters, awkward moments, status updates, or non-existent into your most important and valuable meeting with your directs all week. Learn more at: http://archova.org/1on1-course
• Grab your copy of Ramona's best-selling book 'The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role': amzn.to/3TuOdcP
• 
  

— OTHER EPISODES YOU MIGHT LIKE —

• Episode 124 – Giving Feedback: 3 Common Mistakes
• Episode 286 – The End of “Nice Leadership”: How to Be Direct, Kind, and Respected
• Episode 292 - Performance vs Potential: A Better Approach to Assessing Your People

— WHAT'S NEXT? —

Learn more about our leadership development programs, coaching and workshops at archova.org.

Grab your copy of Ramona's best-selling book 'The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role': amzn.to/3TuOdcP

Want to better understand your leadership style and patterns? Take our free quiz to discover your Manager Archetype and learn how to play to your strengths and uncover your blind spots: archova.org/quiz

Are you in your first manager role and don't want to mess it up? Watch our FREE Masterclass and discover the 4 shifts to become a leader people love to work for: archova.org/masterclass

Love the podcast and haven't left a review yet? All you have to do is go to ramonashaw.com/itunes and to our Spotify Page, and give your honest review. Thanks for your support of this show!

If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram Stories, and tag me @ramona.shaw.leadership or DM me on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/ramona-shaw

* Disclaimer: Shownotes may contain affiliate links. That means that I am awarded a small commission for purchases made through them, at no added cost to you.

Sometime in the next few months, a decision will land on your desk that makes half the room unhappy. It will show up on an ordinary Tuesday, in a week that was already full, and you will have about a day to decide.

Most managers meet that moment with instinct and hope. When the team performs and nothing breaks, principles never get tested. Ramona calls this sunshine leadership.

Then a decision gets contentious, a strong performer starts to slip, or two people you like want incompatible things, and your team watches what you do next. They notice fast which of your stated principles are real and which ones are decoration.

In this episode, Ramona walks through how to build a leadership philosophy that holds up in exactly those moments, including where it sits inside Archova’s APS method (awareness, principles, system).

She covers:

• Why borrowed methods fail without an anchor, and what a block of clay has to do with it
• The two rules for choosing leadership values (most managers break both)
• The sentence that turns a value like quality into a rule your team can actually follow
• The two-week shadow test that reveals whether your philosophy is operating or decorative
• The trap of values that point away from your own goals, and how to bridge it

If you have ever said one thing in a team meeting and done another under pressure, this episode is for you.

Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/H3HyT3aDRgw

— RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE —

• The Leadership Accelerator, Archova’s 12-week program for new and early-stage managers: archova.org/leadership-accelerator
• Free masterclass on how to successfully lead as a new manager: archova.org/masterclass
• ‘The Confident & Competent New Manager’ by Ramona Shaw: archova.org/books or amzn.to/3TuOdcP

— LINKS —

• Schedule a Leadership Strategy Call with Ramona HERE (calendly.com/ramonashaw/leadership-strategy-session).
• Grab the free New Manager Toolkit mentioned in the episode: archova.org/freetoolkits
• Learn how to turn your 1-on-1 meetings from time wasters, awkward moments, status updates, or non-existent into your most important and valuable meeting with your directs all week. Learn more at: http://archova.org/1on1-course
• Grab your copy of Ramona’s best-selling book ‘The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role’: amzn.to/3TuOdcP

— OTHER EPISODES YOU MIGHT LIKE —

• Episode 106 – What Is Your Leadership Philosophy?
• Episode 247 – Beyond Values: Creating Explicit Leadership Expectations

— WHAT’S NEXT? —

• Learn more about our leadership development programs, coaching and workshops at archova.org.
• Grab your copy of Ramona’s best-selling book ‘The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role’: amzn.to/3TuOdcP
• Want to better understand your leadership style and patterns? Take our free quiz to discover your Manager Archetype and learn how to play to your strengths and uncover your blind spots: archova.org/quiz
• Are you in your first manager role and don’t want to mess it up? Watch our FREE Masterclass and discover the 4 shifts to become a leader people love to work for: archova.org/masterclass
• Love the podcast and haven’t left a review yet? All you have to do is go to ramonashaw.com/itunes and to our Spotify Page, and give your honest review. Thanks for your support of this show!
• If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram Stories, and tag me @ramona.shaw.leadership or DM me on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/ramona-shaw

* Disclaimer: Shownotes may contain affiliate links. That means that I am awarded a small commission for purchases made through them, at no added cost to you.

Six months ago you sat next to these people. You complained about leadership together, covered for each other when something slipped, and knew exactly what got said in the hallway versus in the meeting. Now you run the team, and every one of those unspoken rules is up for renegotiation.

Most new managers handle this by saying nothing and hoping the awkwardness fades. Ramona did exactly that after her promotion into leadership. Within two years, she had damaged some of those relationships and felt more stressed than she ever had as an individual contributor.

In this episode, Ramona walks through the conversations she wishes she had opened with, and why the manager who tries to stay liked ends up losing both the relationship and the team.

She covers:

• The two kinds of expectations that shape every working relationship, and why the unspoken ones do the damage
• A four-box matrix of management approaches, including the trap that feels the safest and costs the most
• The four things to renegotiate out loud with every former peer in your first two weeks
• What to say to the person on your team who wanted your job
• Why the trust you built as a peer is already banked, and the one question your team still needs answered

Whether you were just promoted over your peers, you can see that promotion coming, or you are two years in and still avoiding the elephant in the room, this episode gives you the words for the conversations you have been putting off.

Watch on YouTube: The Manager Track on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LYlESAru-U0

• The Leadership Accelerator (12-week cohort program for new and early-stage managers): archova.org [verify link in show notes]
• "The Confident & Competent New Manager" by Ramona Shaw, including the explicit vs. implicit expectations framework and the productivity/rapport matrix: archova.org/books or Amazon
• Free masterclass for new managers: archova.org/masterclass
• Personnel psychology research on multiplex workplace relationships (friendship plus reporting line) and maintenance difficulty
• Fiske, Cuddy, and Glick research on warmth and competence in how we assess leaders

• Schedule a Leadership Strategy Call with Ramona HERE (link: https://calendly.com/ramonashaw/leadership-strategy-session)
• Grab the free New Manager Toolkit mentioned in the episode: archova.org/freetoolkits
• Learn how to turn your 1-on-1 meetings from time wasters, awkward moments, status updates, or non-existent into your most important and valuable meeting with your directs all week. Learn more at: http://archova.org/1on1-course
• Grab your copy of Ramona’s best-selling book ‘The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role’: amzn.to/3TuOdcP

• Episode 24 – Can I Be Friends With My Direct Reports?
• Episode 321 – From Doer to Leader: Redefining Competence in Your New Role

• Learn more about our leadership development programs, coaching and workshops at archova.org.
• Grab your copy of Ramona’s best-selling book ‘The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role’: amzn.to/3TuOdcP
• Want to better understand your leadership style and patterns? Take our free quiz to discover your Manager Archetype and learn how to play to your strengths and uncover your blind spots: archova.org/quiz
• Are you in your first manager role and don’t want to mess it up? Watch our FREE Masterclass and discover the 4 shifts to become a leader people love to work for: archova.org/masterclass
• Love the podcast and haven’t left a review yet? All you have to do is go to ramonashaw.com/itunes and to our Spotify Page, and give your honest review. Thanks for your support of this show!
• If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram Stories, and tag me @ramona.shaw.leadership or DM me on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/ramona-shaw

* Disclaimer: Shownotes may contain affiliate links. That means that I am awarded a small commission for purchases made through them, at no added cost to you.

Somewhere along the way, you picked up the idea that thoughtful ICs wait until they’re ready before going for the manager role. So you keep asking the question. Am I ready? And every time you ask it, it feels responsible. It feels like preparing.

Ramona has watched that exact question stall talented ICs for years. It has no evidence standard and no end date, which means you can ask it forever while it quietly turns your next career move into a verdict someone else gets to hand down.

In this episode, Ramona throws out the usual trait checklist (communicate well, put the team first, manage your time) and replaces it with a willingness audit: four questions you answer yes or no to, all testable this week, none requiring anyone’s permission.

She covers:

• The four willingness questions, starting with whether you can stand having your results measured through other people’s work
• The senior engineer who kept hearing "not quite there yet" and responded in exactly the wrong way
• Two scripts that turn vague feedback into a specific behavior and a date
• Three signs "you’re not ready" is your manager stalling, not a real assessment
• What Bandura’s self-efficacy research says about waiting until you feel capable
• The part almost nobody says out loud: for some of you the honest answer is no, and there’s a clean way to own it

Whether you’re circling the decision, hearing "not yet" on repeat, or quietly suspecting the manager track isn’t for you, this episode gets you to an honest answer faster.

Watch on YouTube: The Manager Track on YouTube

• The Leadership Accelerator (12-week cohort program for new and early-stage managers): archova.org/leadership-accelerator
• Albert Bandura’s research on self-efficacy and mastery experience
• Center for Creative Leadership research on how leadership capability develops
• Linda Hill, "Becoming a Manager" (research on new managers’ assumptions)
• Free masterclass for new managers: archova.org/masterclass
• "The Confident & Competent New Manager" by Ramona Shaw: archova.org/books

• Schedule a Leadership Strategy Call with Ramona here: https://calendly.com/ramonashaw/leadership-strategy-session)
• Grab the free New Manager Toolkit mentioned in the episode: archova.org/freetoolkits
• Learn how to turn your 1-on-1 meetings from time wasters, awkward moments, status updates, or non-existent into your most important and valuable meeting with your directs all week. Learn more at: http://archova.org/1on1-course
• Grab your copy of Ramona’s best-selling book ‘The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role’: amzn.to/3TuOdcP

• Episode 61 – From IC to Manager: 4 Main Shifts
• Episode 321 – From Doer to Leader: Redefining Competence in Your New Role

• Learn more about our leadership development programs, coaching and workshops at archova.org.
• Grab your copy of Ramona’s best-selling book ‘The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role’: amzn.to/3TuOdcP
• Want to better understand your leadership style and patterns? Take our free quiz to discover your Manager Archetype and learn how to play to your strengths and uncover your blind spots: archova.org/quiz
• Are you in your first manager role and don’t want to mess it up? Watch our FREE Masterclass and discover the 4 shifts to become a leader people love to work for: archova.org/masterclass
• Love the podcast and haven’t left a review yet? All you have to do is go to ramonashaw.com/itunes and to our Spotify Page, and give your honest review. Thanks for your support of this show!
• If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram Stories, and tag me @ramona.shaw.leadership or DM me on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/ramona-shaw

* Disclaimer: Shownotes may contain affiliate links. That means that I am awarded a small commission for purchases made through them, at no added cost to you.

You walk into a meeting with senior people, and within seconds the internal questions start: Should I speak early or wait until I’m asked? Am I reading the mood right, or am I about to present data to a room that wants something else entirely?

And when the energy shifts mid-meeting, someone influential goes quiet, the questions turn political, the doubt gets louder: do I name what’s happening, or do I keep going through my slides and hope it passes?

Ramona doesn’t treat reading the room as charisma you’re born with. The managers who look intuitive in meetings are running a short list of questions in their heads, typically faster than everyone else, and adjusting what they say based on the answers. That list can be learned.

In this episode, Ramona breaks down what reading the room actually involves and why so much of your credibility in a new room gets decided before you’ve said anything of substance.

She covers:

• The three reads to make in the first two minutes of any meeting, starting with who is actually running it (rarely the person who scheduled it)
• The four roles you can hold in a meeting, and why a mismatch here is the real reason meetings feel like they go badly
• What the room is hungry for, and how to tell when it flips from competence to relationship mid-meeting
• The "thin slices" research showing how fast people size you up, and what they judge first
• Five things that decide your first two minutes, and only one of them is what you say

Whether you’re walking into a room of unfamiliar stakeholders, presenting to executives, or watching a meeting drift away from you mid-slide, this episode gives you the questions to run and the language to use.

• The Executive Presence Program (8-week program for mid-level to senior leaders): archova.org/executive-presence-program

• Schedule a Leadership Strategy Call with Ramona HERE (link: https://calendly.com/ramonashaw/leadership-strategy-session)
• Grab the free New Manager Toolkit mentioned in the episode: archova.org/freetoolkits
• Learn how to turn your 1-on-1 meetings from time wasters, awkward moments, status updates, or non-existent into your most important and valuable meeting with your directs all week. Learn more at: http://archova.org/1on1-course
• Grab your copy of Ramona’s best-selling book ‘The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role’: amzn.to/3TuOdcP

• Learn more about our leadership development programs, coaching and workshops at archova.org.
• Grab your copy of Ramona’s best-selling book ‘The Confident & Competent New Manager: How to Rapidly Rise to Success in Your First Leadership Role’: amzn.to/3TuOdcP
• Want to better understand your leadership style and patterns? Take our free quiz to discover your Manager Archetype and learn how to play to your strengths and uncover your blind spots: archova.org/quiz
• Are you in your first manager role and don’t want to mess it up? Watch our FREE Masterclass and discover the 4 shifts to become a leader people love to work for: archova.org/masterclass
• Love the podcast and haven’t left a review yet? All you have to do is go to ramonashaw.com/itunes and to our Spotify Page, and give your honest review. Thanks for your support of this show!
• If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device and post it to your Instagram Stories, and tag me @ramona.shaw.leadership or DM me on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/ramona-shaw

* Disclaimer: Shownotes may contain affiliate links. That means that I am awarded a small commission for purchases made through them, at no added cost to you.

There is a thought a lot of managers carry around and almost never say out loud: “Honestly, my direct report is a stronger performer than I am.”

If you have had some version of that thought, it usually shows up with a little shame attached. And the standard response, someone telling you that you are great and you do it better than your employee, tends to bounce right off. It does not fix anything, because it is aimed at the wrong problem.

Here is what is actually going on. For your whole career, being good meant one thing: I know the most, I do it best, people come to me when the work is hard. Then you got promoted, and the definition of competence quietly changed. Nobody told you the new rules. So you are standing in a new role, still grading yourself with the old ruler, and of course you come up short.

In Episode 321, Ramona breaks down:

• Why “my report is a stronger performer than I am” is an apples-to-oranges error, not a verdict on you
• What actually happens in your brain when your competence feels threatened, and why it registers like survival
• The quiet trap of comparing your year one to someone else’s year five
• The “which chair are you sitting in?” test that pulls you back into the right seat

If you have ever caught yourself diving back into the technical work because it is the one place you still feel sharp, this episode will show you what to do instead.

Watch on YouTube

Resources mentioned in this episode

• The Leadership Accelerator, Archova’s 90-day manager readiness program for new and early-stage managers: archova.org/leadership-accelerator
• Free Masterclass, the 4 shifts to lead as a new manager: archova.org/masterclass
• “The Confident & Competent New Manager” by Ramona Shaw: archova.org/books  (also on Amazon: amzn.to/3TuOdcP)
• CEB research finding that 60% of new managers fail or underperform in their first 18 months, referenced in the episode

Links

• Schedule a Leadership Strategy Call with Ramona: calendly.com/ramonashaw/leadership-strategy-session
• Grab the free New Manager Toolkit mentioned in the episode: archova.org/freetoolkits
• Turn your 1-on-1 meetings into your most valuable meeting of the week: archova.org/1on1-course
• Grab Ramona’s best-selling book “The Confident & Competent New Manager”: amzn.to/3TuOdcP

Other episodes you might like

• Episode 256 – The Leadership Identity Shift: From Executor to Influencer  youtube.com/watch?v=L_KXIyEjNAY
• Episode 311 – Delegating: When Stepping In Becomes Stepping On  ramonashaw.com/delegation-for-managers

What’s next?

• Learn more about our leadership development programs, coaching and workshops at archova.org.
• Want to better understand your leadership style and patterns? Take the free Manager Archetype quiz: archova.org/quiz
• In your first manager role and don’t want to mess it up? Watch our FREE Masterclass: archova.org/masterclass
• Love the podcast? Leave an honest review at ramonashaw.com/itunes and on Spotify. Then take a screenshot listening and tag @ramona.shaw.leadership on Instagram or DM Ramona on LinkedIn.

* Disclaimer: Shownotes may contain affiliate links. That means that I am awarded a small commission for purchases made through them, at no added cost to you.

There is a small flinch that happens when someone hands a high performer a compliment. A pause. A quiet thought of “I wonder if they really mean it,” followed by a fast handoff of the credit to the team, to luck, to timing, to anything other than themselves. Most people doing this have no idea it is a pattern. It reads as humility, so it hides in plain sight.

Every time you move a win into the team’s column and a loss into your own, you are quietly editing your scorecard in one direction. Over months and years, that adds up to a distorted picture of your contribution, and it does not stay private. The systems that hand out promotions, scope, and pay reward the people whose work is visible. Deflect often enough and you file your best work under everyone else’s name.

In this episode, Ramona breaks down why this happens, why it is a choice rather than a fixed trait, and exactly what to do instead.

We cover:

• Why deflecting credit is not the same as humility, and what it actually protects you from
• The negativity-bias loop that makes praise slide off and criticism stick
• The language to give your manager an accurate account of your contribution without bragging
• A three-second practice that interrupts the deflection before it fires
• The attribution log that slowly rebuilds an honest view of your own work

If you have ever assumed good work speaks for itself, or felt a flicker of discomfort the last time someone praised you, this episode is for you.

Watch on YouTube

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

• Executive Presence Intensive: Archova’s 8-week program for mid-level managers and senior leaders ready for bigger responsibility, covering visible self-advocacy, stakeholder communication, and presence in high-stakes moments. Kicks off again in the fall. archova.org/executive-presence-program
• The Leadership Accelerator: where the weekly update email tool is taught. archova.org/leadership-accelerator
• Free New Manager Masterclass: archova.org/masterclass

Links

• Schedule a Leadership Strategy Call with Ramona HERE.
• Grab the free New Manager Toolkit mentioned in the episode: archova.org/freetoolkits
• Learn how to turn your 1-on-1 meetings from time wasters into your most important meeting of the week: archova.org/1on1-course
• Grab your copy of Ramona’s best-selling book ‘The Confident & Competent New Manager’: amzn.to/3TuOdcP

Other Episodes You Might Like

• Episode 267 – Horizontal Leadership: Creating Teams That Own Their Work
• Episode 281 – Are You Overexplaining? When Leaders Should (and Shouldn’t) Justify Themselves

What's Next?

• Learn more about our leadership development programs, coaching and workshops at archova.org.
• Want to better understand your leadership style? Take our free quiz to discover your Manager Archetype: archova.org/quiz
• In your first manager role and don’t want to mess it up? Watch our FREE Masterclass: archova.org/masterclass
• Love the podcast? Leave a review at ramonashaw.com/itunes and on our Spotify page. Thanks for your support of this show!
• If this episode inspired you, take a screenshot listening on your device, post it to your Instagram Stories, and tag @ramona.shaw.leadership or DM on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/ramona-shaw

* Disclaimer: Shownotes may contain affiliate links. That means that I am awarded a small commission for purchases made through them, at no added cost to you.

It usually shows up disguised as one of your strengths. You are the manager who notices the gap before anyone else does and quietly fills it.

The deck gets polished, the deadline gets saved, the client never sees the mess. From the outside, you look reliable. What no one sees is that you are carrying two or three people's work on top of your own and falling behind on the things only you can do.

In this episode, Ramona names a pattern that almost never gets flagged in leadership training, because on the surface, it reads as conscientiousness. She walks through how the rescue reflex runs behind the scenes, why working harder only feeds it, and what it quietly does to accountability on a team.

She also gets specific about the fix, including the exact language to hand a piece of work back so it does not land as a punishment.

In Episode 319, Ramona digs into:

• The hidden cycle that turns I'll just handle it into a permanent ceiling on your growth
• Why a team under-functions in direct proportion to how much the manager over-functions
• The one question to ask yourself the second you reach to redo someone's work
• The check-in that makes ownership real instead of taking the task back at the finish line

If you have ever redone a direct report's work late at night, felt resentment building while the work kept getting done, or wondered why your team needs you for everything, this episode gives you the language to change it.

Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/jLbQNx9e5_E

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

• The Leadership Accelerator: Archova's 12-week cohort program for new and early-stage managers. Goes deep on delegating without abandoning your team and running accountability conversations that stick. archova.org/leadership-accelerator
• Free Masterclass: The 4 shifts to become a leader people love to work for. archova.org/masterclass

Links

• Schedule a Leadership Strategy Call with Ramona HERE.
• Grab the free New Manager Toolkit mentioned in the episode: archova.org/freetoolkits
• Turn your 1-on-1 meetings into your most valuable meeting of the week. Learn more at archova.org/1on1-course
• Grab your copy of Ramona's best-selling book, The Confident and Competent New Manager: amzn.to/3TuOdcP

Other Episodes You Might Like

• Episode 311 Delegating: Why Smart Managers Get Stuck Doing the Work
• Episode 274 The Self-Sacrificing Manager: Breaking the Cycle of Doing Everyone's Work

What's Next?

• Learn more about our leadership development programs, coaching and workshops at archova.org.
• Want to better understand your leadership style and patterns? Take our free quiz to discover your Manager Archetype: archova.org/quiz
• In your first manager role and don't want to mess it up? Watch our free Masterclass: archova.org/masterclass
• Love the podcast? Leave a review at ramonashaw.com/itunes and on our Spotify page. Thanks for your support of this show.
• If this episode helped, take a screenshot listening on your device, post it to your Instagram Stories, and tag @ramona.shaw.leadership or DM on LinkedIn

* Disclaimer: Shownotes may contain affiliate links. That means that I am awarded a small commission for purchases made through them, at no added cost to you.